"I first became aware of the Z.ui at a robotics conference in Japan last year. An amazing piece of engineering. What, you didn't know "she" was a robot? Oh, I see. Yes. You thought such a figure was natural? Right. Well yes, it is an impressive shell. Well executed. The access panels masked as "tattoos" were particularly inspired. I believe they were one student's entire dissertation -- certainly, several patents pending. You see how carefully placed? Yes, of course being metal they are cold to the touch, although the rest of the "skin" is thankfully not. I agree. The eyes are the real giveaway, but I don't know what can be done about it. They certainly are too penetrating to be human -- that's the problem with those expensive broad spectrum sensors. Yes, that's exactly why she never looks directly at the camera without filters -- the IR lasers would ruin a CMOS in second, and forget about traditional film with that much UV flooding. But I guess the ruse was enough to convince even you. The Z.ui group members were vague enough about the long-range goals, although I think I've heard they get a lot of their money from DARPA. She'd be one heck of an assassin-bot -- I would certainly be happy to die at her hands."

"One day, when Zui used to work at the grocery store, a lady came in by herself and did some shopping. She got a cart and proceded to get the following items... a dozen carrots, a box of lucky charms, a bottle of white zinfandel, a pound of coffee, some advil, a dozen eggs and some cherry flavored chapstick. She got into Zui's line and while Zui was checking her groceries, she said, "You must be single, aren't you?"
The woman said, "Why yes! How did you know?"
Zui replies, "Because you're ugly.""

"well...I talked to her on im a couple times, then came the night of the SGB at the ottobar in baltimore. I told her that id be there and she said that I should introduce myself to her. So after many failed attampts ( I got nervous)..hahaha..I walked up to her and introduced myself to her...and she had no idea who the hell I was...perfect!!! So the rest of the night I was "that guy"!! it was fun though and shes still avoiding me taking her to get sushi..oh well..shes a cool ass gal!!"

"This girl is incredibly hot. When I saw her first set, I just died. Literally. This girl is so amazingly gorgeous she was so lucky to have her second set a mere 2 months later. I only wish I knew her better. MMMM... "

"yeah so i remember this one time i was hanging out with zui and she fucking puked all over the table. me being the most rock n' roll dude in the world, i started licking it all up, and the whole time she is fucking giving me the metal sign. it rocked so hard. then i rubbed some of it in my fucking hair. it was puke-tastic. and i refuse to put annoyingly cute little smilies in this testimonial. i have a strong hate for cute little smilies...i am sorry. can you please leave me a testimonial? cuz i don't have any friends haha. fuck

love sean"

"I met this cute, tiny little lady at the SG Burlesque show. I'm extremely jealous because she got to go backstage and put tape on the girls' nips and oggle their bare booties. But thanks to her friends I got to be front stage for the whole show!

Zui is coo! "

"she's the last SG on the long list of SGs, cause she has the coolest name ever. and aside from that, she's frickin hot and she's in my private regional group. she owns me.

funny story about that: about a billion years ago Zui created the universe. one day while she was waving her magic finger to spawn all of the cool stuff in the world, a spider bit her. she started slinging her finger around uncontrollably because of the pain, and suddenly republicans were summoned and began to roam the earth. she was so disappointed by what she had created that she swore never to add anything else to the world. earth was left to fend for itself.

now, a billion years later. we all wish she'd snap her fingers and make the bad people go away but instead, she's too busy being exxxtremely hot. which is a perfectly acceptable excuse."

"The first time i met Zui was back in 2000 at a park in VA. I was on a quest, a quest i say. I had lost my partner, she had vanished from the park no more than an hour before leaving me empty handed on what could have been the most important day of my life. I had 10 minutes to replace her or i would lose everything!
So here i am running through the park in a frenzy, frantic and about top pee my pants when i spot something off in the distance, a glare of some kind. When the temporary blindness ended i was able to make out the figure of a girl, sitting alone on a blanket. I was running out of options, this was my only hope.
I approached this angelic figure backlit by the setting sun...she was doing Mad Libs by herself and drinking Ovaltine from a cup shaped like a bowling pin. I knew she was magic.
"Excuse me", i said cautiosly.
"Hang on please". After what seemed like an eternity she said, " I need a noun".
"How about cum dumpster.."
"No, i already used that one", she said
At this point i stopped her to plead my case. I told her how i was left alone on the biggest day of my life, and that i needed help. I could see in her big Disney eyes that she wanted to help, that or she was constipated (the jury is still out on that one). I begged her to help me, offering money, coloring books, and some left over PB & J sandwiches. I think it was the coloring books that sealed the deal, and we were off.
What happened later that day was a true underdog story. With the help of the almighty Zui i retained my title of North American Team Potato Sack Race Chapmion, a title i owe and happily share with her. We have competed in every professional potato sack race from LA to NewYork ever since, and have become very well known in the sport despite her extra toes.
I can never repay you for that day Zui, you are a true gem! Hopefully we can get the Olympic Commitee to recognize this up and coming sport for the next summer games **crossing fingers**
And that is how I met this girl named Zui.
-el fin-"

"Zui needs to be on the SGB3, everyone should spread the word on that."

"I saw you,I wrote to you,You wrote to me,I wrote back to you.Now write back to me you sexy lady XXXXXX : "

"well considering the fact that i am deploying overseas i am glad that i will have internet access and be able to check out sg. Zui is one of the girls that i am glad to see on this site. she not only has a beautiful face, but a great body. she provides "the boys overseas" with some eye candy and something to look foward to when we get back keep up the good work and sorry i dont have a story but if anyone gets bored and wants to email. prefrably girls. but anyone is cool ill talk
onekoolvw1@hotmail.com
Zui keep up the good work and you are so fucking hot!!!!
sean"

"i want this girl to be mine!!!! RAWR!!!!!!!"

"i was working as a towel boy in a nude beach resort...i was quite surprised that they hired me actually..i was neither ripped nor tanned...but nonetheless i was hired and i roamed around the pool and surrounding areas tending to the guests needs....now i've always been a fan of tattoos..and more importantly, girls with tattoos...and one especially muggy day i was doing my rounds and i stopped in my tracks when my eyes fell upon a beauty lounging next to the pool....she was propped up on her elbows looking at her fingernails...i must have stood there transfixed for a good ten minutes before she took notice..."my friends say i need to get some sun" she said wryly...i replied "you're perfect for me...i mean TO me"...she giggled and asked me to come join her...i declined mentioning how my boss wouldn't like that i was goofing around already anyway..."fine...room 59 then...drop by for a drink when you get off"...
the rest of the day kinda floated by....it was a blur and i found myself at her door soon enough...i stared at the gold numbers attached to the door until i worked up enough courage to knock....the door swung open and she turned away and walked out on to the balcony..."come in sweetie", she said over her shoulder...she had thrown a long silk scarf around her hips...and from what i could tell that was it..."i'm sorry ma'am...i never told you my name...i'm jason"...she smiled and shook her finger..."i didn't want to know your name...that way it would be more of a mystery"...she stood up and beckoned me to her...my fingers found the knot on her scarf....it floated to the floor until a gust of wind picked it up and over the balcony..but we were already on the bed...
the next morning i awoke to find her gone....i propped up on my elbows much like she was when i first saw her and then i saw it....a big red "Z" on my chest....written in lipstick...
xoxo,
j"

"It was late September, 2003. My band was playing the 9:30 Club up in D.C., Zui was there, insisting to everyone backstage that I was WAY to beautiful to be straight! (Yeah, right!)

She was on an obnoxious and belligerent rampage, as she yelled and screamed to all the little groupies that I was some kinda "nsync wanna be" and they should all insist on getting their money back... when I just happened to stroll out of the dressing room and our eyes met.

It was a moment the two of us will never forget... I walked over and asked her name... she slapped me and spit on my brand new Ben Sherman shirt... and from that moment, I knew I'd always be secretly in love with this girl.

She told me she was a cereal killer... I told her I'd really like to get rid of that stupid, Trixx rabbit... so she boiled him!!!! Since then I vowed to lay down my life for her... (or at least give blood or a kidney if needed) but she hasn't asked... at least, not yet.

Thanks Zui... the offer still stands."