sorry to hear about your panic attacks. i have them every couple of months out of nowhere so i totally feel your pain! i don;t have the extremity of not being able to breathe but i can relate somewhat. i hope things get better for you hun

It's late and I'm too exhausted to write much of substance tonight. What I'm sure of is that you can only get out of this self-defeating cycle when you decide to make it happen.

We only get a limited amount of time on this planet - our best option is to let go of all the old wounds and make hay while the sun still shines.

Thank you ♥
I don't see myself as having courage or anything honestly...but thank you.

I hope they can figure out what's going on with you...

x x x

I'm glad to see you back, it's been forever. I used to get really severe anxiety attacks after my gf left me. For nearly a year I would wake up with stress vomits every morning. I don't know what exactly happened to change things for me. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, or comfort. *hugs*

You feeling better?

Hello, I'm new on here so I'm stopping by to get to know random people!!!

I hope you feel better!!

Damn, I hope you're doing better now, since some months passed. Your situation seems very similar to mine. Be strong

You are strong, lady, just in a different way right now. The journey back to being strong on all fronts is a slow battle but it can be done -- just takes time.

I started having ridiculous panic/anxiety attacks a few years back. It was like utter fear/loss of control of a situation/the sky is falling/I'm literally going insane all rolled up into one ugly little ball. Couldn't catch my breah, couldn't function. It was terrible. And you know what I hated about it most? I was angry that I was weak. I was angry that I couldn't control what was going on inside my own damn head.
They think it initially stemmed from multiple automobile accidents in a short time span (some, ahem, my fault/some not) so the episodes would only happen in a vehicle that I wasn't in control of. Eventually, it began to creep slowly out like spilled paint, touching every aspect of my life that it came in contact with and I'd have them wherever, whenever.
So I gave up fighting and went to a doctor.
My opinion on doctors in general? Fuck doctors.
But I was to the point where I thought I was literally losing my marbles (and marbles are SO hard to find these days.)
They diagnosed me with severe social anxiety disorder.
I told the doctor that they were full of shit and that it sounded like some over-diagnosed, broad-brushed condition like ADD and to "get bent". Against my wishes I left with the meds they gave me.
I then suffered a ridiculous episode not too many nights later at work (and I was a goddamn bartender!) so I decided to take the meds. Klonopin, to be exact. Quick onset, short term relief but it did the trick. Well, that and a beer -- which I know is utterly stupid but I was kinda dumb (now and) back then.

It took time, it took lots of reflection and it took a lot of medication but these days it's rare for me to have to rely on the pills. I still carry them with me 90% of the time. Hmm, as a matter of fact, now that I think of it, I took one early last week. I felt that "off" feeling, that panicky, I can't control this situation no matter how hard I try to focus" feeling coming on and took a pill. I'm sure it's partially a psychosomatic issue these days but, whatever, if it helps avoid that ominous doomsday feeling that a panic attack causes, I'm down.

Plus I have cat now. Bones. He helps. I mean not physically (the little dude doesn't bake me cookies or anything) but just relaxing with him allows me to focus on something else.

I'm totally lying, my cat does bake me cookies. If you ask nicely he might bake some for you too.

I had me a couple of those. They certainly suck, yes they do. Mine was brought on by continuous anxiety that kind of forced itself to have an outlet.(Yours might be so low-key that you're used to it. You might feel its absence more than its presence.) I thought I was going to have a seizure or something, I wasn't sure; I just knew that Something Bad Was About to Happen.

The last, worst, one happened at a friend's. I had her drive me to the hospital, and we got stuck in a traffic jam. Then, after waiting about 30 minutes to see someone, I saw a doctor who seemed more disassociative than me, lol. He gave me a prescription for a sedative and sent me a fat bill for 300 dollars for his five minutes of time.

So I read up on panic attacks, took some pills, paid my bill, and haven't had one since. Once I found out that they were sound and fury signifying nothing, they lost their power over me. Hopefully, you will be able to move past them as well. Melancholia, anhedonia-- those are bitchy enough without cute lil' panic attacks sneaking in now and then. But you definitely have my sympathy, I know that awful feeling. No bullshit: you'll be OK. "Be patient with your panic."

I think "having your shit together" is a well worn facade

chicken hugs!

I just read your post on the depression-outlet group, well the one where you introduced yourself anyway. I'm sorry to hear about whats going on now, but when you get a chance, could I take some of your time to talk?