Zombette's November 28, 2007 blog

Zombette Curiosity was framed. Stupidity killed the cat.

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Wednesday blog

NOVEMBER 28, 2007 @ 10:53 AM

anybody want some pretzels? anyone? *sigh* at school today we were doing our Theory class (as opposed to Practical; during which we can work on our mannequins or clients or each other if its slow). Theory is bookwork. endless bookwork. unimaginably BORING bookwork. and many of the chapters i have gone over QUITE A FEW times now... not surprising considering the fact that i am nearly done.. and i got a perfect score on the test we took on pathogens and bacteria and all that lovely disgusting bilge. for this... i get a prize. the prize... a tiny (VERY tiny) bag of pretzels.
i think i may have given the instructor a rather disparaging look, but i took them anyway. now i cant get rid of them.
maybe i will donate them. right. there are maybe MAYBE 4 mini MINI pretzels in this baggie. and what good are pretzels without mustard, anyway? exactly. they suck.
it is dawning on me now that the divorce is final that i took it hard.
yeah, i know; i can see you all looking at me right now like im nuts... i had 2 damn years to prepare myself for it... we have been living 400 miles apart for that same amount of time... so why when i think about it do i feel like my stomach is an elevator and someone just cut the cables?
its fear, i think. i honest to god am truly afraid of loving another person again. i... have to think.
i dont want another relationship like that one; so i do not necessarily miss HIM; except his voice haunts me sometimes, and his face... but the relationship was bad bad news.
i DO want to be with someone again, though.
i have been alone long enough. i would know. i havent been with anybody since him. and... i have all this excess love that i just want to smother someone in. i feel like i am a better person when i am with someone i love WHO GENUINELY LOVES ME. i FEEL like a better person.
*rubs eyes*
i dont know what i am saying. im tired. i woke up at 4 in the morning because i had another bad dream.
i am just rambling on.
forgive me.

The_Boss

I'm lost

June 2007

NOV 28, 2007 11:04 AM

Wake up and get those sleep boogers from yer eyes! And you'll be fine there's someone out there for everyone trust me. The secret is to not really look but to notice what's already there.

Fatality

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

NOV 28, 2007 11:04 AM

Aw, lady. That's kind of sad. Seriously. I keep saying aw over and over to all of that journal entries.

Lots of hugs your way!

Ilectra

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

NOV 28, 2007 11:39 AM

Aww hon *hugs* In time the right person will find there way into your life. Lov you lots..

whatagy

Owens Cross Roads, AL

June 2004

NOV 28, 2007 06:01 PM

Relationships are soooo tough. There is no magic formula and what works for some will not work for others. If you look too hard for love you will never find it. It sort of has to find you instead. If you look too hard for it you will too easily convince yourself you have found it when you really haven't.

Do not be in a rush. Life can't be a sprint. You have to pace yourself and be patient. I know it's tough, but take it from an old fart. Slow and steady wins the race. You have so many exciting years ahead. Life does get easier, but only after you start to let go of your insecurities. Does my breath stink, is my shirt too tight, am I walking funny, is there a booger on the end of my nose, do I kiss at the end of this date or not, did that fart follow me into the room, or did the person in the stall next to me just hear that noise??? Well, fuck it. What does it really matter anyway? Our lives revolve around fear. How many good stories do you see on the news? Most religions of the world control by fear. All assholes control by fear. Fear is cumulative.

Stop tormenting yourself. You have lots of time to live so have fun doing it. Go eat something disgusting and breathe on someone or fart next to somebody. Instead of being mortified, just giggle and walk away while reveling in their disgust.

After you conquer several of your small fears and build confidence then, and only then, tackle something big like love. It will still be tough, but you will be more prepared for the fight. Give 'em hell.

ironbuffalo

Towson, MD

July 2004

NOV 28, 2007 07:21 PM

errr.... i want pretzels.

78walk

Oklahoma City, OK

July 2005

NOV 28, 2007 09:25 PM

Divorce is an extremely difficult thing for anyone to go through - taking it hard only means you're human. Luckily perfection is not a requirement, or we'd all be in big trouble.

I truly can't help it - the image of you clutching your little bag of mini-pretzels makes me smile.

BrightRedScream

Stoney Creek, ON

April 2005

NOV 29, 2007 07:06 PM

Thank you muchly for the opinion on my hair darling girl I think I will be losing the bangs just for a change!

I'm hoping that all is ok with you and that Thanksgiving did help you gain a little bit ♥

Much love to you beautiful ♥ You are too sweet for words.