PICS
I'M NOT HIGH- OR DRUNK- RIGHT NOW, BUT LET ME JUST SAY, I LOVE ALL OF YOU...
...simply because I'm in a good mood today. I have no idea why though.
Maybe it's because I get to keep my apartment for the next few days or so at least, even though I can't work to pay the rent because I broke my toes and part of my foot a couple days ago-and no, I'm not on meds right now.lol.
Maybe it's because I'm well rested.
Or because I haven't had a day filled with drama...
Maybe it's simply because I'm alive, and for this I am grateful.
So now I need to get a move on and try to accomplish some of the tasks I need done this afternoon, but I'm not going to stress about what I can't get done. It has certainly slowed me down to have this temporary minor handicap, but maybe this was exactly what I needed to stop and get my head on straight for a while...
oxXxo,
ZS
...simply because I'm in a good mood today. I have no idea why though.
Maybe it's because I get to keep my apartment for the next few days or so at least, even though I can't work to pay the rent because I broke my toes and part of my foot a couple days ago-and no, I'm not on meds right now.lol.
Maybe it's because I'm well rested.
Or because I haven't had a day filled with drama...
Maybe it's simply because I'm alive, and for this I am grateful.
So now I need to get a move on and try to accomplish some of the tasks I need done this afternoon, but I'm not going to stress about what I can't get done. It has certainly slowed me down to have this temporary minor handicap, but maybe this was exactly what I needed to stop and get my head on straight for a while...
oxXxo,
ZS
"CAUSE I'M A HUSTLA, HOE-MAAAY..."
So after one heartfelt donation by a member from the SG site and one purchase from my "collection-of-personal-belongings-I'm-selling-but-reluctant-to-sell", I found myself $500 closer to my "it's for a good cause" fund. Then I read the email that accompanied my "donation".
The member (who shall remain nameless out of respect for this individual) makes the following statement towards the end of the email:
"The current crap is going to be a footnote in your memoir someday. And
you won't need a ghostwriter, either."
...along with other positive statements of encouragement.
Thank you.
I'm doing the hustle, kids..
oxXxo,
ZS
So after one heartfelt donation by a member from the SG site and one purchase from my "collection-of-personal-belongings-I'm-selling-but-reluctant-to-sell", I found myself $500 closer to my "it's for a good cause" fund. Then I read the email that accompanied my "donation".
The member (who shall remain nameless out of respect for this individual) makes the following statement towards the end of the email:
"The current crap is going to be a footnote in your memoir someday. And
you won't need a ghostwriter, either."
...along with other positive statements of encouragement.
Thank you.
I'm doing the hustle, kids..
oxXxo,
ZS
JUST ME, MYSELF AND I...
...And quite honestly, I'm sick of having to depend on those three bitches to get things done. Whatever happened to "being a man of your word", concepts like "following through" or "ambition"? Even with a personal incentive for those involved in any aspect of my life (be it money, connections, etc..), I still can't get find a god damn single person who knows how to "put the money where their mouth is" so to speak, and follow through on their word. I stopped buying into people's bullshit long ago, or so I thought....but why do they insist on wasting countless hours of my time and theirs just to make empty promises? I thought I had grown out of my naivety, but I find myself sitting here with court documents at my fingertips, conveying the severity of my misjudgements with so-called "friends." Countless others played a role in getting me to this point though, but now, I look around and can't seem to find most of these individuals- these "great friends" of mine...
So if you are a sucker for a crying girl, a homeless drummer, a new recruit, an old flame...or whatever, here's my advice to you- and I am only qualified to give this advice because it's the exact opposite of what I've done, and what I've done obviously doesn't work. Here's the list:
1. If a friend moves in, get rent AND deposit upfront. Before the move-in date even.
2. Don't buy your friend's dinners at a restaraunt just because you want to go there. Save money and get yourself (and you alone) fast food- or better yet, go to the restaraunt, get what you want and make sure to order seperate checks. They can wash dishes if they forgot their money. On rare ocassions, you should buy DESERVING friends a meal or a gift, but evaluate who your REAL friends are first. There's probably only one or two, and they will reciprocate, or they aren't your friend.
3. Don't offer to pay your half (or more) of a meal when you are on a date. Most (not all) boys are cheap and lack chivalry these days. Given the opportunity to save money they will take it. Don't even offer. Make them work a little bit to get you in bed.
4. Don't hand out money to crying strippers who are fucking people in your bed when you aren't home.
5. Don't believe a lying stripper when she says she'll "pay you back for a loan", or that she's "totally broke- didn't make a dime at the club last night". As in my experiences, she's probably making bank as a prostitute, asking all your male friends for handouts and jacking cash from your safe- as well as 5-fingering your closet.
6. Unless you offered beforehand, don't buy a drink at a bar for assuming friend. That's bullshit. Especially if you're a girl and she is too. If she can't buy her own drink, tell her she better be prepared to work for it...
7. Don't do fronts- of any kind. If you pick up something (food, furniture, etc) never hand it over to someone before you get the cash PLUS TAX back from them.
8. Don't be Captain Save a Hoe and pick up your friends everytime they need a ride- do they pay for your gas? Do they treat your car with respect? Do they even thank you (this is time better spent working on your own survival, y'know..). Don't be a taxi driver either. Sure, maybe you like your pimpin' new ride, but you won't have it long if you can't pay the payments.
9. Marry someone who supports themself at least or else you will end up supporting them while they play video games and watch movies all day. If it's an arranged marriage, get the dowry up front. If it's because you were drunk, that's grounds for an annulment and it's much cheaper (sometimes free) than a divorce.
10. Trust no one? Nah, that's a pretty sad, bitter and lonely philosophy. Trust yourself and love yourself enough to not let others disrespect you. Manipulators and takers constitute 99.8% of the population. They get ahead in life through whatever way they see fit. If you carry morals and the temperature of the blood running through your veins exceeds 30 degrees Fahrenheit, you are at a disadvantage...but you can succeed. Just reckognize that you must rely solely on yourself to make it to where you want to be in life...and don't make it any easier for these vultures to get ahead while you stay spinning your wheels.
Bitter? Yeah, a bit. Desperate? Definitely in survival mode. Learning another lesson the hard way? Of Course..but as always, I'm optimistic that the next person I meet is in that .2% of the population, and they will inspire me to believe the world can be a beautiful place, you just need to know where to look.
oxXxo,
ZS
: 
...And quite honestly, I'm sick of having to depend on those three bitches to get things done. Whatever happened to "being a man of your word", concepts like "following through" or "ambition"? Even with a personal incentive for those involved in any aspect of my life (be it money, connections, etc..), I still can't get find a god damn single person who knows how to "put the money where their mouth is" so to speak, and follow through on their word. I stopped buying into people's bullshit long ago, or so I thought....but why do they insist on wasting countless hours of my time and theirs just to make empty promises? I thought I had grown out of my naivety, but I find myself sitting here with court documents at my fingertips, conveying the severity of my misjudgements with so-called "friends." Countless others played a role in getting me to this point though, but now, I look around and can't seem to find most of these individuals- these "great friends" of mine...
So if you are a sucker for a crying girl, a homeless drummer, a new recruit, an old flame...or whatever, here's my advice to you- and I am only qualified to give this advice because it's the exact opposite of what I've done, and what I've done obviously doesn't work. Here's the list:
1. If a friend moves in, get rent AND deposit upfront. Before the move-in date even.
2. Don't buy your friend's dinners at a restaraunt just because you want to go there. Save money and get yourself (and you alone) fast food- or better yet, go to the restaraunt, get what you want and make sure to order seperate checks. They can wash dishes if they forgot their money. On rare ocassions, you should buy DESERVING friends a meal or a gift, but evaluate who your REAL friends are first. There's probably only one or two, and they will reciprocate, or they aren't your friend.
3. Don't offer to pay your half (or more) of a meal when you are on a date. Most (not all) boys are cheap and lack chivalry these days. Given the opportunity to save money they will take it. Don't even offer. Make them work a little bit to get you in bed.
4. Don't hand out money to crying strippers who are fucking people in your bed when you aren't home.
5. Don't believe a lying stripper when she says she'll "pay you back for a loan", or that she's "totally broke- didn't make a dime at the club last night". As in my experiences, she's probably making bank as a prostitute, asking all your male friends for handouts and jacking cash from your safe- as well as 5-fingering your closet.
6. Unless you offered beforehand, don't buy a drink at a bar for assuming friend. That's bullshit. Especially if you're a girl and she is too. If she can't buy her own drink, tell her she better be prepared to work for it...
7. Don't do fronts- of any kind. If you pick up something (food, furniture, etc) never hand it over to someone before you get the cash PLUS TAX back from them.
8. Don't be Captain Save a Hoe and pick up your friends everytime they need a ride- do they pay for your gas? Do they treat your car with respect? Do they even thank you (this is time better spent working on your own survival, y'know..). Don't be a taxi driver either. Sure, maybe you like your pimpin' new ride, but you won't have it long if you can't pay the payments.
9. Marry someone who supports themself at least or else you will end up supporting them while they play video games and watch movies all day. If it's an arranged marriage, get the dowry up front. If it's because you were drunk, that's grounds for an annulment and it's much cheaper (sometimes free) than a divorce.
10. Trust no one? Nah, that's a pretty sad, bitter and lonely philosophy. Trust yourself and love yourself enough to not let others disrespect you. Manipulators and takers constitute 99.8% of the population. They get ahead in life through whatever way they see fit. If you carry morals and the temperature of the blood running through your veins exceeds 30 degrees Fahrenheit, you are at a disadvantage...but you can succeed. Just reckognize that you must rely solely on yourself to make it to where you want to be in life...and don't make it any easier for these vultures to get ahead while you stay spinning your wheels.
Bitter? Yeah, a bit. Desperate? Definitely in survival mode. Learning another lesson the hard way? Of Course..but as always, I'm optimistic that the next person I meet is in that .2% of the population, and they will inspire me to believe the world can be a beautiful place, you just need to know where to look.
oxXxo,
ZS
: BLONDE AMBITION, BLACKBEARD'S PIRATE SHIP, AND BEING BLACKLISTED....
Sometimes the Valley has it's moments. The other day while driving north up sepulveda in sherman oaks (I think?) I saw cool vintage lamps out by the roadside. I swooped back around the block and found that the retirement home was closing and everything must go.
I ended up with a couple killer lamps, an end table and my most treasured possession: a painting of a ship....after doing a dark wash on the painting and adding a few details such as a black flag with the jolly roger skull and crossbones on it, I now have my very own pirate painting!
Things had been trucking along just fine recently until the boom today- I've been pulled from various SG events I was scheduled to participate in. I needed the money from those events, so consequently I may move to NYC in the next couple weeks and quit SG. This idea makes me bumsy, but I can't let others dictate the success of my career- at least not when they are trying to hinder my growth.
Oh, and yes- I went blonde.....
oxXxo,
ZS
Sometimes the Valley has it's moments. The other day while driving north up sepulveda in sherman oaks (I think?) I saw cool vintage lamps out by the roadside. I swooped back around the block and found that the retirement home was closing and everything must go.
I ended up with a couple killer lamps, an end table and my most treasured possession: a painting of a ship....after doing a dark wash on the painting and adding a few details such as a black flag with the jolly roger skull and crossbones on it, I now have my very own pirate painting!
Things had been trucking along just fine recently until the boom today- I've been pulled from various SG events I was scheduled to participate in. I needed the money from those events, so consequently I may move to NYC in the next couple weeks and quit SG. This idea makes me bumsy, but I can't let others dictate the success of my career- at least not when they are trying to hinder my growth.
Oh, and yes- I went blonde.....
oxXxo,
ZS
Blonde Ambitions...
Everyone in Los Angeles does it- I should too..right?
Wrong, or so I thought. I've dyed my naturally blonde hair to a neutral brown shade for some time now in an attempt to break free from the sea of bleached blonde beauties which constitute the mass of aspiring playmates/actresses/porn stars in Los Angeles. Fuck that. I know who I am and if someone can't see a glimpse at my one of a kind characteristics (good, bad, but always unique) then "oh well"...
Ladies and gents- I'm going blonde.
Wish me luck, as I am entering the bathroom with a pair of scissors, 2 boxes of dye and some rubber gloves. What does my tarot reading say about all this?
"Book of Thoth"
"Break down the fortress of thine Individual
Self, that thy Truth may spring free from the
ruins.
Quarrel, combat, danger, ruin, destruction of plans, sudden death, escape from prison.
The Tower represents war, destruction, but also spiritual renewal. Plans are disrupted. Your views and ideas will change as a result."
..and what does this mean? What will happen to my ideas and views? Stay tuned to see... 
Everyone in Los Angeles does it- I should too..right?
Wrong, or so I thought. I've dyed my naturally blonde hair to a neutral brown shade for some time now in an attempt to break free from the sea of bleached blonde beauties which constitute the mass of aspiring playmates/actresses/porn stars in Los Angeles. Fuck that. I know who I am and if someone can't see a glimpse at my one of a kind characteristics (good, bad, but always unique) then "oh well"...
Ladies and gents- I'm going blonde.
Wish me luck, as I am entering the bathroom with a pair of scissors, 2 boxes of dye and some rubber gloves. What does my tarot reading say about all this?
"Book of Thoth"
"Break down the fortress of thine Individual
Self, that thy Truth may spring free from the
ruins.
Quarrel, combat, danger, ruin, destruction of plans, sudden death, escape from prison.
The Tower represents war, destruction, but also spiritual renewal. Plans are disrupted. Your views and ideas will change as a result."
..and what does this mean? What will happen to my ideas and views? Stay tuned to see...
Happiness found in a material world...
I used to think, i want to live in the catalog for Brocade. Then Horchow came along and swooped me off my interior designing feet with it's extravagant chandeliers and mirrored furniture.
I love over the top trashy, gawdy glamorous surroundings.
When I grow up, I want to be a lush who sits around all day in Agent Provocateur lingerie and drinks dirty martinis, maybe cosmos even, and lays around in a pool of glamourous filth.
I want to be- bored in the most rediculous ways.... hey, it's a fantasy.
I do have higher aspirations, but for now in my drama filled life...I like to fantasize about simple things...
I used to think, i want to live in the catalog for Brocade. Then Horchow came along and swooped me off my interior designing feet with it's extravagant chandeliers and mirrored furniture.
I love over the top trashy, gawdy glamorous surroundings.
When I grow up, I want to be a lush who sits around all day in Agent Provocateur lingerie and drinks dirty martinis, maybe cosmos even, and lays around in a pool of glamourous filth.
I want to be- bored in the most rediculous ways.... hey, it's a fantasy.
I do have higher aspirations, but for now in my drama filled life...I like to fantasize about simple things...
"Cinecitta"
I SAW THIS ON A DUDE'S PAGE AND HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE THIS MORNING FILLING IT OUT!
TRY IT YOURSELF..
Directions:
1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Knockin' On Heaven's Door- ERIC CLAPTON
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Changes- DAVID BOWIE (yeah, like psychotic multiple personality disorder kind of changes- but in a fun way)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Turn Around- PHATS & SMALL (I like a quick turn around...y'know, get 'em in amd out and on to the next one..)JK
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Icecream- JEFREE STAR (mmmmmm. icecream)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Moana- DEFTONES
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Many Men- D12, 50 CENT, PROOF (hey! I'm not THAT slutty.)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
New Dawn Fades- JOY DIVISION (yeah, I bet most of my friends expect me to hang myself as Ian Curtis did- I probably will have an overly dramatic death due to my extreme behavior combined with a subconscious desire to stay youthful forever..)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
A Certain Shade Of Green- INCUBUS
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Here We Go- E40
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Borderline- MADONNA ( I don't know why, but this really makes me laugh)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
On Our Way- CHRISTINA AGUILERA (I'm a bit ashamed to admit I own this album, but yes. I cannot tell a lie. So there it is.)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Dust It Off And Try Again- AALIYAH
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Baby, I Love Your Way- PETER FRAMPTON (ha! I knew it- always been quite the trendsetter...
lol.)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Your Flesh Is So Nice- JEFF BUCKLEY
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Kids- HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD (WTF?! No, I'm not thinking about the kids we'd have...maybe the making of kids without the consequence of them...)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Enjoy The Silence- DEPECHE MODE (Oh great..that means I'm marrying an emo kid.)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Jesus Walks- KANYE WEST (Fuck yeah! Damn straight I will rise again!)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
Lengua Afuera- PITBULL (Sup. "Bend over girl and show me what you're workin' with..")
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Candle In The Wind"- ELTON JOHN
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Wake Up Screaming- QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Crawling- LINKIN PARK (That's no secret though... all my friends are lushes and together we crawl home after a night of debaucherous drinking on Cahuenga.)
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Cinecitta- STEVE STEVENS
I SAW THIS ON A DUDE'S PAGE AND HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE THIS MORNING FILLING IT OUT!
TRY IT YOURSELF..
Directions:
1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Knockin' On Heaven's Door- ERIC CLAPTON
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Changes- DAVID BOWIE (yeah, like psychotic multiple personality disorder kind of changes- but in a fun way)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Turn Around- PHATS & SMALL (I like a quick turn around...y'know, get 'em in amd out and on to the next one..)JK
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Icecream- JEFREE STAR (mmmmmm. icecream)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Moana- DEFTONES
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Many Men- D12, 50 CENT, PROOF (hey! I'm not THAT slutty.)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
New Dawn Fades- JOY DIVISION (yeah, I bet most of my friends expect me to hang myself as Ian Curtis did- I probably will have an overly dramatic death due to my extreme behavior combined with a subconscious desire to stay youthful forever..)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
A Certain Shade Of Green- INCUBUS
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Here We Go- E40
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Borderline- MADONNA ( I don't know why, but this really makes me laugh)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
On Our Way- CHRISTINA AGUILERA (I'm a bit ashamed to admit I own this album, but yes. I cannot tell a lie. So there it is.)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Dust It Off And Try Again- AALIYAH
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Baby, I Love Your Way- PETER FRAMPTON (ha! I knew it- always been quite the trendsetter...
lol.)WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Your Flesh Is So Nice- JEFF BUCKLEY
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Kids- HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD (WTF?! No, I'm not thinking about the kids we'd have...maybe the making of kids without the consequence of them...)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Enjoy The Silence- DEPECHE MODE (Oh great..that means I'm marrying an emo kid.)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Jesus Walks- KANYE WEST (Fuck yeah! Damn straight I will rise again!)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
Lengua Afuera- PITBULL (Sup. "Bend over girl and show me what you're workin' with..")
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Candle In The Wind"- ELTON JOHN
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Wake Up Screaming- QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Crawling- LINKIN PARK (That's no secret though... all my friends are lushes and together we crawl home after a night of debaucherous drinking on Cahuenga.)
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Cinecitta- STEVE STEVENS
Damn agents!!!! Damn the modeling industry!!! Damn them all to hell!!....well....not really...
I'd hate to have to get a real job..that's why I'm going to auction off my underwear from the set I did for SG for rent money...aside from that little sidenote..back to the main subject-
no more pink hair..
I lost 2 jobs this week because of it, hence the undies for rent money bit...
so here's a late night glimpse of the new do..
I'd hate to have to get a real job..that's why I'm going to auction off my underwear from the set I did for SG for rent money...aside from that little sidenote..back to the main subject-
no more pink hair..
I lost 2 jobs this week because of it, hence the undies for rent money bit...
so here's a late night glimpse of the new do..
