hello.. this is me pretending to be bored.





this is me pretending to be interested.






i'm leaving town on the 1st of november. headed for australia for the ENTIRE winter, and while i'm excited to be taking off, putting your life on hold for six months demands a lot of preparation... well unless you're naturally nomadic- which i'm not.

infact, i tend to install myself in the places i live- very much like those heavy, complicated pieces of furniture that never get moved once they've been assembled.

i took a trip to NYC this past week. the highlights of my trip happened while i was in the city and enjoying myself too much to write in my journal. here are a few excerpts from the LOWlights of my trip which all occured on the train ride home....

before i begin, allow me to state one of life's irrefutable truths:

AMTRAK IS THE WORST TRAIN SERVICE KNOWN TO HUIMAN KIND.

August 31, 2006

8:15am

on the train, Amtrak- a piece of shit ride, yet again.

11:00am

This train litterally smells like piss. PISS.
i can't stand it. just under three hours into a 10hour + ride and the smell hasn't dissipated. feels like 5 hours at least.
i must brace myself to keep from losing my mind.
This train makes me nervous. wish i had some mind numbing drugs to take the edge off.

Board the train, you piss filled scum! we have only to light a match.... I'd like to watch this particular car burn.

Thats it... leave that desease ridden washroom door open. Embrace the putrid scent of the bladder.

2:20pm

Fell asleep for a while.. i had a dream that i was in mexico and i introduced myself to Johnny Depp as a friend of Hunter S. Thompson (which was true in the dream). he offered me some gold coins that were actaully chocolate wrapped in foil. it was delicious.
weird stuff.. i need to read more of this Hunter S.

6:00pm

This ride has already surpassed its schedualed last stop, and we haven't even reached the canadian border yet. Looking like a 12- 13 hour ride if there are no more delays- and that would be a joke at this point. i feel like we spent more time standing still than moving.

8:45pm

Still at godamn bullshit customs border. 13 hours is extended to "Indefinate"

I wonder if there is some strip search orgy going on in one of the other cars. They got done with this disgusting, foul smelling car hours ago.

I'm an utter mess and all i want is to see a familiar face when i get of this wretched rotting can. But no one in their sane skull would wait so long with no ingormation and no invitation for that matter... we have only ourselves to blame, precious, and thus only ourselves for comfort.

What is this madness?!! its CANADA for hell's sake!
relax, guy. let dude bring his heroine and fire arms in- his russian bride wont cause a scene, she promises!

I know the truth- they just want to "inspect" that stash of marital aids a little longer... give 'em an inch.. they take 7 or 8.

the outhouses are becoming more and more deplorable. this is like some forced disgusting social experiment.


9:15pm

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are still undergoing customs and immigration inspection, and we have no estimated departure or arrival time for montreal. When and IF we leave canada customs, we will arrive in montreal in one hour, twentyfive minutes. Thank you for your patience."

**audible groan throughout entire train**

9:45pm

Customs has pulled a few passengers off the train... lucky bastards...
this has been more excruciating than watching a full body cavity search.

"ladies and gentlemen, a couple of quick announcements- firstly the dining car is now reopened, and customs have finished their search.
second, under canadian law it is illegal for a train crew to work for over 12 hours, so our crew is not allowed to continue through canada at this time. it will take another 45 minutes to arrange a new crew to take over.
Thankyou for your patience. "

What follows is a common goal amongst the passengers to destroy this bucket.
its existence depends on remaining where it is. because as long as we are all 1 hour and a half away from our destination, it has the upper hand, and we are helpless.
but God help it when we reach montreal, because there will be nothing stopping me from lighting that match.
FUCK.

"pussy"


your eyelashes
skirt in the wind
try and hold them down
but i know what's
underneath

a pouting, pink
cut of fresh
sashimi
that everyone wants
to take
a chopstick to

everyone has a pussy
hidden somewhere

ok.. it's true.. im a country girl. here it is. bits and pieces of my home.

ok, i'm a little bit upset that i officially have a "blog" now, after purposefully attempting to avoid this term and most things associated with it for a while. i think i much prefered it when it was called a journal... silly i guess.

i guess, in my old age, i'm happy to watch the world and its fancy computer slang move on without me... only sometimes it drags me by the heels with it.

here are some things that rhyme with "blog"

dog






bog





hog





log





cog





nog






i hope you enjoyed my first ever, official blog.

im learning new things these days-

learning to sing (hopefully)

learning to play the guitar (sort of)

learning how to plan a very long trip across the ocean (in a haphazard sort of way)

learning how to save money (i think i can, i think i can, i think i can)

learning something about relationships (not sure what yet though)

learning about commitment (or at least thinking about it- so far i've decided that it frightens me)


learning is good, i enjoy it- but for now, and with no real conviction, i've decided that i'll never really know anything for sure- so i'm taking what i get out of it, and i'm applying it as i see fit, or not applying it at all. i think that might work for me.

i'm planning these days, for a trip to australia.

those of you who know me, are probably acutely aware of my distaste for the cold. and that's exactly why i'm going to leave for the winter, and see how i fare down under. i'll be gone for up to 6 months.

i'm currently working on getting around to starting to build (haha) an online resume. ideally, i would like to find a job before i actually get there.

i'm leaving in october or november. im thinking about stopping for a couple of weeks in figi on the way there, or on the way home. it's exciting. i'm excited.

dug these up from my trip to baja... yeah, i guess things outside my room can be beautiful.

emotional rollercoasters
are the only rollercoasters
that make me ill

it's so strange when old friends come back into your life unexpectedly.

my horoscope said nothing about that this month... sonofabitch crappy astrologer who writes bad, but free horoscopes... i oughta write him a letter or something.

so i'm getting off the chocolate.. it's a 25 step program. oh yeah, you thought it would be easier than alcohol? think again! after the chocolate it will be candy in general, then sugary drinks, then the world!

if you're reading this and you're not in any pain right now, just stop and think about that for a moment. it's a really nice thing, isn't it.. you bastard.