So, about the set.

First of all, Merry Christmas! Contrary to a few PM's and set comments, I am not anti-Christian and am certainly not anti-religion, and I'm not too thrilled that some of you took this as an attempt by me to insult the religion. Please don't praise me for that, for it wasn't my intent at all. My intent, as was written in the intro, was to pay homage to both the genre of and the artwork of Fra Angelico.











It baffles me how Fra Angelico can depict Mary and it is called art, and when I do it it is called blasphemous. I would imagine that the members of this website would be a little more comfortable with the use of nudity as a form of expression, but what do I know! For those of you who loved it, I'm glad I could create something that you appreciate. And for those of you who got a good chuckle out of Wendy making a work that includes pretending to breastfeed a Jesus doll, I'm glad as well. We all need to stop taking things so seriously.

Two nights ago, on Christmas Eve, I was driving to the grocery store in Jerusalem and drove by the main road to Bethlehem. It was very extravagantly decorated with lights, big green lights in the shape of trees lining the streets and big yellow lights put into the shape of angels and horns. I've been missing the Christmas spirit since I left the U.S., much to a lot of people's surprise, I actually really love Christmas-time, the decorations, the music and the cheer that it brings. To see that this road was decorated as such, all the way from Jerusalem to Bethlehem, brought a smile to my face. It was the only evidence of Christmas I've seen here in Jerusalem, but I'm sure Bethlehem was packed with people who have come from all over the world to celebrate in the place of Jesus's birth. Also, what will also be a surprise I'm sure to some of you who don't know me that well, I do believe that Jesus lived and died here in Israel. I am Jewish, so duh for that one. Never meant to insult any of you. Take it as a compliment. I love Christian artwork and I wanted to do something to pay tribute to the work that I love so much. I can't paint worth a damn, and I had the opportunity to work with Sawa, SG photographer extraordinaire. This was the last set I shot for SG, and we wanted to go out with a bang. I hope you all enjoyed.

This is my favorite picture from the set, because it really just looks like me. As much as I love all of my sets and all of the individual pictures, the ones I love the best are the ones that I see and think, "now that really looks like me every day."



Fun Fact: This set was shot about 30 minutes after my "Au Natural" set. You can probably tell most of all by the fake nails. I was going through a phase. Those too, now, are au natural.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Holy Land.



Keep the comments coming! I love reading them!

****************************************************************

Did everyone get what they wanted for Christmas? I hope everyone had (and is still having) a great holiday. CocoaButter made me what is probably the best Christmas CD ever made in the world ever, and I've been rocking out to it pretty much 24/7 since I received it on Christmas Eve (Thank you x 1,000, by the way, darling lovey face). You know you have a real homie when he sends you a Christmas CD all the way to Israel. It was much appreciated.

Lately I've just been relaxing and preparing for travel. I finished my 5 month intensive Hebrew program about a week and a half ago and have just been taking it easy since then. 5 hours a day of Hebrew, 5 days a week for 5 months is finally over and although I can't see a huge difference, those around me can and it feels good to no longer think before I speak. Those of you who have learned a second language I'm sure know what I mean, you know how you figure out everything in your head first? Well now it just comes out, and now I use words that I don't even know the meaning of, but I use them correctly. It's a wonderful feeling! I'm a bit nervous that I'll lose some of it while traveling but my boyfriend and I have vowed to speak Hebrew to each other the entire time we're there.

Now all that is left is the Thailand visa, vaccinations, and packing. We also have to narrow down what we want to do and see in the U.S. since we're not going to have as much time as we thought. My parents want us to come home for Passover (which is a week long, bummer), so that cuts a week off of our travels. As of now we're going to be making stops in NYC, Washington D.C., Indiana (not for the tourist scene, but to see friends), and possibly Boston. I really, really really really really want to catch a Red Sox game while I'm in the U.S. and we'll be there in April. Does anyone have any recommendations for good shows in New York right now? I'm trying to figure out what he'd like, I mean if it was up to me we'd just go to Les Miserables which would probably be my 36th performance or something along those lines, but I don't know if that would exactly be his cup of tea. Maybe Blue Man Group.... I'm really sick of Rent, but who knows. Any suggestions?

Advice. My boyfriend's birthday is coming up, and I would adore suggestions on what to get him. He's really into computers, computer games (although he hasn't played for a few years now, I'm thinking of getting him a couple to get him back into it), gadgets, technology, all that stuff. He also really loves watching DVDs about space travel, natural disasters, and critical situation type stuff like riots, shootings, you know the type of programs like the History Channel does. We watch this show together on the National Geographic Channel called "critical situation" and he adores it. Any suggestions for DVD box sets or documentaries about any of that stuff would be amazing. there are so many options on amazon I need help narrowing it down so I'd love suggestions! He also really loves Ed Hardy but I think I'm going to have to get him to go on the website and tell me what looks good to him....

Oh, and I'm going to Thailand!

Oh, and I got my first official document saying I'm an Israeli citizen a few days ago. I have a passport now! It's only a temporary one, I can't get my official one until I've lived here for a year but it's something and it's so exciting to me, I will now exit and enter Israel with all of the other Israelis. Good part about being American and Israeli is that I can go through the short line in both airports.

In other news, we had an earthquake here today, it's raining like hell right now, and the power just flickered. Also, has anyone seen the new Saw? It's not out here, I want to see it so badly! I haven't gone to a movie since I was in the US, it's not really that common here. The theaters are really small with tiny screens and shitty speakers. They have intermissions too, which is kind of odd. Sometimes it's nice but it's not really something you want in a thriller.

Sorry this post was all over the place!

I feel like an old lady. I'll be 25 on Monday. A couple of you have asked me where my wishlist went, I took it down a little while ago but here is the link in case any of you feel like donating to the "what Wendy needs" fund. Most of the stuff on the list is just books that I'll need for graduate school but I added some stuff that I actually really want.

Anyway. All I want to do on Sunday night is watch the Patriots/Colts game but alas I will be completely immersed in books. I feel like I could write a Psychology GRE review book right now if I really wanted to, but I also feel like if I stop now all of the information will fall out of my brain and nothing will remain but emptiness come Monday morning. Happy Birthday to you, fucker, the exam will say. What a way to spend my birthday. Hmph.

Anyway, some questions for you avid SG frequenters:

a) skydiving and bunjee jumping. Y/N? Have you been? Where? What was it like?

b) Asia. Thailand, China, and Japan. Y/N? Have you been? If you have, give me ALL of the advice that you can take the time to print out. I'm planning a massive trip right now with my boyfriend and will greatly, greatly appreciate any and all advice you have to give us!!

Shabbat Shalom.

Who the fuck did the Colorado Rockies think they were, trying to compete in the World Series?

Don't anybody worry, Wendy is still loving that dirty water in the middle east. It might mean that the games start at 2am, but it certainly doesn't mean that I'm not watching them. Did you all forget?



Now that baseball season is over, it's time to focus full attention on football! My my my, what a grand time to be Bostonian. The Patriots are making a mad dash for the title, and after the slaughterings of the past few weeks it's looking to be a fine run.

I don't have any more time to write, I'm taking the Psychology GRE in exactly a week from today and must go study! My birthday is also in one week, by the way. As is the Patriots/Colts game. When it rains it pours.

In the meantime, entertain yourselves with some Israeli R&B.

who knew that I could learn Hebrew so quickly? I've learned more after living here in Israel for 3 months than I did in 2 years of college courses, 3 years of camp courses and 5 years in a Jewish private school. It really does speed up the learning process when you get thrown right in the middle of a crowded bus with everyone screaming and shouting, having to sign up for a health insurance plan with someone who speaks no English, getting sick and vistiing Russian doctors who also don't know English... anyway. My comprehension level is fluent, and my speaking is getting there. I speak slowly than others of course, but I can figure out a way to say anything I need to. It isn't always the correct way, but my vocabulary is now large enough that I can get across what I need to, one way or another. I loved it!

A couple of days ago I was given a special VIP tour of the archaeological excavations going on underneath the old city of Jerusalem. My boyfriend works at the Western Wall so of course that's how I received my VIP status. I'm not sure how many of you know this, but the "Kotel" (western wall) isn't nearly the only part of the wall surrounding the Temple that remains. Many people think that the western wall is all that's left, and that's why Jews pray there and that's why it's their holiest site. This is far from true. First of all, all 4 walls that originally surrounded the Temple are still standing. Second, a good majority of the western portion of the wall is underground, because of years of building layer upon layer. The Muslims built houses and shops all the way up to the wall on top of it, so the excavations are now going on underneath the Muslim Quarter of the old city. Third, why the western wall? The Kotel is the closest point that Jews can get to the "foundation stone," which currently is inside The Dome of the Rock. According to tradition, the foundation stone is the beginning of creation, where Adam and Chava were created, the location of the binding of Isaac, and the holiest point in both the first and second Temples. The highest Cohen (Priest) in the time of the Second Temple could only enter the room where the rock was exposed one time a year, and he was the only one permitted to enter. Which day of the year was it, you ask? Yom Kippur, of course, the day of attonement for the Jewish people. He would enter the room one day a year and pray for the safety of the people and the land of Israel, for health, prosperity, etc. Of course currently, the Muslim Authority (the wakf) holds control over the Temple Mount, which is where both The Dome of the Rock and Al Aqsa Mosque are located (which people often think are the same thing). Jews are theoretically "allowed" to visit the Temple Mount but we are forbidden to pray there. If we are seen praying, we are forcibly removed by security. What a sad state of affairs that we are forbidden by Muslims to pray at our holiest site, yes? The Kotel is only the holiest site for Jews because its as close to our holiest site as were allowed to get. Our actual holiest site has a huge mosque built over it. The Kotel is simply a part of the wall surrounding The Temple, it wasn't a part of the Temple itself.


The best part was going as far down as they have excavated to this point and going in rooms that were from the second Temple period. I was walking where Jesus walked, nice, eh? Do you know that when Mr. Armstrong himself visited the old city of Jerusalem and walked on the steps up to the Temple Mount on the southern wall of the Temple, he asked the tour guide, "Did Jesus walk on these steps?" His guide answered, "Well sir, if you would like for me to answer according to the words of the Bible and according to tradition, yes, he did walk on these very steps." He replied to his guide, "then this is far more exciting than walking on the moon."

Indeed.

Another interesting tidbit. When Suleman built the walls surrounding the Old City of Jerusalem, he hired 3 architects to design and construct the Jaffa Gate, the western entrance to the Old City (and the one that I think is the nicest).

Suleman, tyrant as he was, was so unsafisfied with the gate that he publically executed the 3 men, and buried them right at the entrance to the gate. Not many know about this, they are buried in a tiny fenced off grass area on the left hand side. Just thought that might be interesting to some of you. Suleman didn't seem like too nice of a guy, did he? At least he gave us some beautiful scenery.

Are you a liberal, Conservative or Southerner? Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two children and a terrorist with a knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
.......................................
Liberal's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away?

What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of
message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1 ?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
................................................

Conservative's Answer:
BANG!
..................................................... ..

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click... (sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: You are NOT taking THAT to the taxidermist!

computer help!

I have a Macbook. This didn't used to happen but for some reason now, every time I try to download something it downloads a text file and then word opens and nothing happens. This happens when I try to download games, programs (icq, etc), anything from a website. It doesn't matter where I download it from, I've tried multiple sources and the same thing happen.

Help?

Got a minute?

ISRAEL'S OPPORTUNITY: WHY WE SHOULD BE GRATEFUL TO HAMAS

And so, my dear friends, we gather again for another year of celebration and contemplation; another year of heshbon nefesh and teshuvah - of making an accounting, each of us individually, of our souls, and of turning to Almighty God in gratitude for life and its countless blessings and in a heartfelt plea for forgiveness and renewal. Here we are again.

And here we are again, with Israel - the tiny postage stamp of the Middle East, the little country no larger than San Bernadino County, California, which was reclaimed as our national homeland, the homeland of the Jewish people, in the 20th century.

During these High Holy Days I want to talk this year about hope, about your hope as individuals and our hope as a people. I want to address how we can recapture hope as a positive force in our lives. Hope is my theme this year. And Israel, the State of Israel, can and must be a shining focal point of our Jewish hope. We dare not hope without it.
That is what Israel can mean to us, my good friends. It is not merely an outpost of survival for remnants of the Holocaust, it is our beacon of hope. There we have struggles to win . . . a new 21st century Judaism to be born; a new culture, renewed from its rich, vast and ancient past, is being born before our eyes and a new chapter for the Jewish People is being written. We are charged to see ourselves as a part of it_a vital part of that new chapter - to be refreshed by it and invigorated by it and perhaps even transformed by it.

It was not the homeland for any other people on the planet, my friends. It was controlled by all kinds of outside forces in its history, but the Land of Israel was self-controlled by only one people in all of history - just one - and that was us. We Jews have that claim. We never relinquished it , we never abandoned it, we never forgot about it, we never renounced it, we never amended it, we never invented it. It was ours from the earliest moment of our national existence. Our journey to that Land is the sacred narrative of our Torah, our Exodus from Egypt was initiated so that we could find and establish ourselves there, as a free people in our own land. Torah itself was revealed at Mt. Sinai as a blueprint for our principled status as a people of God in that place for all time.

Why do I rehearse this litany with you?

Simply this, my brethren . . . simply this. It is denied by Israel's enemies. Ahmedinejad of Iran does not merely deny the Holocaust - ironically saying that the Nazis failed to finish the job - but he and Arafat before him and even Mahmoud Abbas, the so-called Palestinian moderate of today, deny this basic fundamental truth of history. They say we were never there.

They say that there was never a Bayit Rishon, a Temple of Solomon, designed by King David and constructed by Solomon, his son. They say there was never a Bayit Sheni, a Second Temple built within the memory of those who saw the First Temple destroyed by our enemies . . . renovated and rebuilt by King Herod to become the most beautiful and grandest building in all the world, including the great pillared palaces of Athens and Rome. That this too was destroyed by our Roman enemies some five hundred years later is denied by our enemies today. What Temple, they say? What First Jewish Commonwealth? What Second Jewish Commonwealth? What temples? What history? What Israelite conquest? What settlement in Gamla, on the Golan Heights, at Tzipori in the Galilee, Tel Maresha in the Judean Hills, Dan in the North and Beersheva in the South? What Jews? What evidence of Jewish Jerusalem?

"This land," they say, "was historically ours. We are the descendants of the so-called Canaanites, raped of our home by a European mongrel race that invented a past and a humanitarian calamity in order to hoodwink a tortured modern Europe and in order to conquer and occupy, like the new Crusaders of the 20th century, what is rightfully and historically ours."

The Palestinian Authority has bulldozed and removed, like solid waste to a landfill, hundreds of tons of artifacts from the area known as Solomon's Stables, to the north of the Temple Mount, saying that there is no archeological significance to the area. They have refused to even temporarily halt construction to the North and East that directly impacts various parts of the Temple precinct. Why? Because they are determined at all cost to deny our bona fides, to deny our rightful presence, to deny our history, to deny the truth.

Never mind that we never ever heard of an indigenous so-called "Palestinian people"
until 1948. Never mind that there was never ever a local non-Jewish population that exercised self-control over historic Palestine - we Jews are the only ones who did that. Romans, Arabs, Crusaders, Egyptians, Turks, Brits and even Germans conquered and controlled Palestine in its long history. But we are the only ones who ever lived there and controlled it ourselves.

And never mind that since their birth in the 20th century, there has never ever been a people more poorly led by those bent on twisted cynicism and national manipulation than have been the so-called Palestinian people. They are, and they have some competition for this title, the worst led people in world history. The worst.

So many were made war refugees by Israel's successful War of Independence in 1948. So many. Hundreds of thousands of Jews were forcibly expelled from the Arab capitals of Cairo, Teheran, Baghdad, Damascus, Tunis and Tripoli. Did Israel keep them in refugee camps and demand their resettlement in their so-called "home country" after the end of the war? Of course not. They were immediately resettled - the technical word is patriated - given a new statehood - and encouraged to build a new future in a new home. What about the local Palestinian Arab population? Those were settled and maintained in squalid refugee camps in Egypt, in Gaza, in Jordan and Syria, to fester in their anger and their resentment, to succeed each other in not one, or two, but four or five generations of alienation and displacement.

I rehearse this tired history with you, my dear friends, now again at Rosh Hashanah of 5768, because the conflict remains unresolved, as we all know.

Yasser Arafat, who shook hands with Yitzhak Rabin on the lawn of the White House and who met face-to-face with Israeli Prime Minister Barak and the American President Clinton for 13 consecutive days at Camp David, proved to be a coward and a cynical disaster for his people and for the world. Barak now recognizes that he was negotiating with a liar and a thief. Clinton and Dennis Ross, his closest advisor at the time, acknowledge the same.

Arafat was a master of corruption, my friends. His misuse and personalization of resources pledged by American and European and Japanese taxpayers - more assistance per capita than was provided to Europe in the Marshall Plan - was breathtaking. The good will and largesse of the Western world was simply unprecedented in world history; and the corresponding corruption and conversion of those funds for personal use was on an historic, world class scale. Arafat made Papa Doc Duvalier of Haiti, Rafael Truillo of the Dominican Republic, Ferdinand Marcos of the Philippines, Idi Amin of Uganda, Nicolae Ceausescu of Rumania and Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe all seem like amateurs caught up in petty misdemeanors by comparison. Arafat and his successors built palaces in Gaza and the West Bank, in Europe and the capitals of the Middle East, with the money intended for their people. Never has so much been taken from so many under false pretenses, and spent on the self-indulgence of so few.

This is nothing new, of course. The truth is that the local Arab effendi, the absentee Arab landlords of so much of the land of Palestine administered by the Turks and the British, were the very ones who sold off the land for Jewish settlement from the very birth of the modern Zionist enterprise.

This was the Palestinian Authority and its militant wing, Fatah, which the renegade Hamas was able to show to be empty of authenticity and virtue or any kind. True, Hamas promised little but armed struggle and eternal enmity to Israel, but they made themselves the alternative to wholesale thieves. Wholesale thieves. And when their political conflict in the world's greatest cesspool known by most as the Gaza Strip - when that became military - well, Hamas scored an early and easy triumph. With lots of local support, Hamas defeated the fragile and pathetic infrastructure of the Fatah system in Gaza, routed their so-called security forces, took many of their local leaders and shot them in front of their familes, ransacked Arafat's compound in their so-called West Bank "capital" of Ramallah, which had been made into a little museum and shrine - stealing and trashing his Nobel Peace Prize - and "taking over" (if that is the right expression) in Gaza.

Now Hamas - which refuses to even acknowledge the entity of Israel -- rules in Gaza. And Fatah, or what is left of it, clings to authority with the financial help of Israel, America, Europe and Japan, in the West Bank.

What now?

The seizure by Hamas of the Gaza Strip this past June and the resulting division of the Palestinian Authority into two separate, hostile camps in two separate, hostile places - has finally put to rest the myth of Oslo - the much-heralded land-for-piece framework which was announced in September of 1993 and became, almost instantly, a ruse for Palestinian duplicity visited against Israel, the United States, Europe and the Palestinian people themselves. So Oslo and its hollow promises are now dead.

Arafat's promise in 1996 to use "psychological warfare and population explosion" in order to "make life unbearable for the Jews" - that's a quote, my friends - has also failed. He is dead and his idea is dead. Israel, at great pain and cost to itself and its sense of freedom and presumption of the good will of others, won the Second Intifada, begun by Arafat immediately after the so-called failure of Camp David II, and has successfully built a security fence that has, at least for now, solved its not inconsiderable security dilemma. Israelis are back in the streets, back in their pubs and cafes, back at their bus stops and their Friday-afternoon shuks. Their economy is sailing along with a growth rate that is the envy of most of the world, while her Arab neighbors wonder how a desert and a swamp can export food, technology, medical care and even tulips to Holland, while Arab economies are net importers of gasoline, made from their own crude oil.

During the entire month of Elul and especially on Rosh Hashanah we Jews begin a process of self-criticism, culminating in the difficult challenge of Yom Kippur, a Day of Atonement. It is healthy; it is therapeutic; it is cleansing. No people in modern history has been so immune from the discipline and value of self-criticism than have been the Palestinians. No people. In 1999, when one Abdel Sattar Kassem, a Professor of Political Science in the Palestinian city of Nablus, signed the so-called "Petition of the 20" written to "stand against Arafat's tyranny and corruption," Arafat imprisoned him. The world didn't even notice. Arafat was never held to account by America, by Europe, or by his own people.

Until 2003. That was when America cut itself loose of the myth of Arafat and the exclusive claim of his Palestinian Authority to be the sole legitimate mouthpiece for the Palestinian people.

And now the experience of Gaza, since 2004 unoccupied not just by Israelis but by the presence of any Jewish DNA, has shown the Palestinians unfitness for political sovereignty. Nothing has so soured the world on the idea of an independent Palestinian state than has been the experience of it. Not only has Arafat's dream of making life unbearable for the Jews fallen to its death, but so has his articulated field of dreams, the independent Palestinian state. It has also died. Yes, I said it.

Now the Saudis are being brought into the center of the diplomatic hive - preparing to sit down publicly with Israeli representatives for the first time. Now the foreign ministers of Egypt and Jordan are meeting in Jerusalem - in Jerusalem! - with the leadership of Israel, for the first time in history. Now, in the face of the threat from radical Islam whether from Iran or the Moslem Brotherhood or Al Qaeda, the interests of several states of the Middle East are converging.

And now "Palestine" will quietly revert to what it was all along, between 1948 and 1992, a protectorate buffer between Israel and her neighbors, whose territorial integrity will be guarantee, probably secretly, by the military and diplomatic condominium of Israel and Jordan in the East and Israel and Egypt in the West; propped up by Saudi and American money and by United Nations bureaucratic inefficiency. We will hear about the forcible removal of some Jewish settlements, we will hear about tentative borders and airports and seats at the UN; we will see a flag and hear a national anthem - but make no mistake, the fantasy of an independent sovereign Palestinian State that would control its own borders, make its own foreign and military policy, have a monopoly on the use of legitimate force (all of these the simple definition of modern statehood) - the fantasy is over. Some entity will be called "Palestine" but no new sovereign state will be born alongside or will threaten the integrity of the miracle of our time, the tiny State of Israel.

Iran looms as a major problem. A revolutionary Pakistan is not far behind. All of Israel's problems, America's problems, the world's problems, are not about to be solved.

But Israel has dodged - not entirely due to its own leadership and their seduction by their own fantasies - Israel has dodged a great existential bullet.

And on this Rosh Hashanah 5768, we Jews should be deeply grateful - to our friends, especially in America but also in London and Berlin, in Paris and Istanbul and Canberra. We should be grateful to the courage and indomitable character of the people of Israel. And we should be grateful to Almighty God.

Remember that hope is our watchword . . . HaTikvah. Remember that we are charged to be positive, to be full of awe and hope on this, the beginning of another year. And so I speak tonight about hope and ask you to smile at the future, my friends. We have much for which to be grateful.

The dream of a new independent State of Palestine as a dagger pointed at Israel's heart, is dead. Am Yisrael v'Medinat Yisrael chai . . . m'ata v'ad olam.





I hope you all enjoyed the read. Have a happy, healthy, and sweet new year.

I have been reading a lot lately. I fall so deeply into the pages that I don't even get up to greet people when they walk in the door. I skip class. I skip meals. I lay back, fall into another world and am still consumed by the words even after I put the book down. I am dreaming the novels. I just finished The Lovely Bones after two days, and am convinced that I know the characters. I guess I was yearning for a bit of a vacation and managed to find one without actually having to go anywhere....

I've been doing quite a bit of changing in the past year. I am now so focused, so driven and so motivated that many things from my past now seem futile, seem like they were a waste of time and make me wish that I had the knowledge then that I do now. I wouldn't ever wish to be a suicidegirl now, almost 25, with a wonderful life, a wonderful boyfriend, a wonderful home in Jerusalem and a wonderful path ahead of me. I don't need much else to fulfill my needs, they are fulfilled. They have reached higher than my wildest dreams ever imagined, and they are slowly but steadily continuing to move upwards. The sky is the limit for me, I now truly believe I can go wherever, do whatever, and be whoever I will ever want.

About a year ago I started a project on suicidegirls.com, called Suicidegirls Pinups for Soldiers. I had the idea to gather all of the girls who were interested and begin sending care packages to soldiers stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan, full of SG pictures, letters, SG stickers, decks of cards, calendars, whatever our creative minds could think of. I started a group here on SG, started a page on Myspace, began telling friends and spreading the word and after a couple of weeks the ball started rolling. A year later, I could never have imagined that I would be getting hundreds upon hundreds of requests and be sending out mass mailings of around 40 packages at a time. I never dreamed of the support and participation of the girls who have helped out, spending lots of time and money to contribute to this project. The best part of all of this has come in the form of emails, testimonials and letters from the soldiers who have done nothing but shown complete gratitude in what we have done. They tell us stories of bases having poker tournaments with the SG card decks, of hanging up the pictures in every place imaginable, of putting SG stickers on their tanks. Whether or not you agree with what is going on in this war, I feel an immense amount of happiness that we have managed to cheer up so many who are so far away from home. We did good, ladies. For this reason, for this project, I am not going to leave suicidegirls. I made a commitment to run this project and to make sure that every soldier who requested a care package would receive one. No matter where I am in my life, this will continue to be important to me. So...long story short, Wendy is not leaving the building.

That said, a bit of advice. Tell the people who you love that you love them as much as you possibly can, and tell them that you mean it. Treat the people you care about with kindness and with care. Do them favors. Buy them gifts. Give them compliments. And for the people you are neutral about or even for those you don't care for that much, be kind. Be considerate. Don't hurt people. Don't say mean things to someone, even if they say mean things to you. Don't use insults just to make someone feel lower than you. If it makes you feel better to be mean and to insult other people, you have some serious soul searching to do. Take your time. In time you'll figure out that it really doesn't bring the comfort and content you once thought it did.

If more of us followed these rules the world (and also this website), would be a much more pleasant place, yes?

I think I'm going to be saying my goodbyes soon.