I leave for London in a few hours. After that, I'm off to India for a few weeks. Tea, tea estates, tasty food, fabric, clothes, mountains... I can't wait.

Shot a new set with Brooklyn. Check it out here.

I'll miss you guys! Talk with you in September.

I'm of to London, then to India. Gone 'til September. There will be an abundance of tea drinking, tea buying, learning about tea, visiting of tea gardens, museum visiting, sari and salwar kameez (Indian tunic and pants, usually beaded or embroidered) buying, and (if I can fit it in my luggage) yarn buying. Yes, I am incredibly excited.

While I'm gone, Brooklyn will upload my new set to Hopefuls. It involves yarn and fabric and beads (oh, my!), and (personally) I think it's really cute. Check it out sometime.

As for life in general, I will say these two things:
1) It should NOT take 17 weeks to get a passport, especially when that means getting it TWO HOURS before the latest possible time required for a trip.
2) I am beginning to have a profound appreciation for things like breezes and conversations with strangers on the train and homemade popsicles (or "ice lollies," as they say in England). It must be all the Zen lit. As "self-help book" as it sounds, I feel much happier. Though much of the key to Zen is the recognition of the beauty of impermanence, I hope this feeling sticks around!

To those of you who posted on my last blog, I'm sorry I haven't replied yet. I will in September, and I'll miss you kids in the meantime. See you when I get back!


xoxo,
~V

Ugh, I hate allergies. Right now, I am unable to speak. My throat is that sore.

Vee Tea (my new business) is doing well. I'm going to the World Tea Expo in Atlanta this weekend!!! Fun. (Yes, I am a total tea geek.) Also, there will be an interview with me about it in a big tea publication soon. Yay!

After ATL, I head out to SF, where one of my best friends is hosting a Podcasting conference for Apple. I haven't seen her in way too long, so I'm really looking forward to it. Also, I'll get to visit some other friends and family and go to some great tearooms there.

Last night, I finally saw Shortbus (the new-ish film by John Cameron Mitchell of Hedwig fame). Loved it! Funny, sexy, intelligent, creative . . . if it were a person, I'd want to make out with it (and maybe much more).

My basil plants desperately need a bigger pot.

For those of you in the US who don't get insurance through your job or your parents, how do you afford it? It's insane how much I'm paying right now. And most of the doctors on my plan are awful. (One actually tried to give me a breast exam and a pap smear, even though I'd just had both the month before and was scheduled to go in for a breast ultrasound later that day. WTF?! Molester . . . Turns out he's been charged with "unethical conduct" twice before and had $20,000 in fines levied against him. Great.)

My neighbors are insane. They have a plastic Christmas tree painted white and decorated with dozens of little American flags sticking out of it in front of their place. And I don't mean it's waiting to get collected with the rest of the garbage. It's been on display since the first of the month. I am SO afraid. Ah, New York. And I though NC residents were crazy!

OK, that's enough randomness from me for now. (Can you tell I can't speak at the moment? Yeah.)


xoxo,
~V

Wow, I've been away for a long time! While I was MIA, I started a business (Vee Tea), moved (within NYC), met Yuka Honda (of Cibo Matto) and Bjork (who used my phone to call Matthew Barney), planned a trip to India and London, shot a new set, had a cancer scare (I'm OK) and a nasty case of the flu, quit my old job, and (mostly) drank a lot of good tea. So you can see why I've been gone!

On that note, I have to get back to work!

xoxo,
~V

Moved again (still in NY, just in a different part). Getting settled into the city (finally). Job is good (possible promotion soon). Shooting a set today (with Steve Prue). Working on my art (new site sometime this year). Birthday soon (quarter century, baby!). Busybusybusy (and loving these parentheses).

Thanks for all the love on my new set! You all are sweethearts.

Gotta run!

xoxo,
~Vuokko

Sorry I've been MIA lately. I just moved up to NY! Of course, I miss all the SGNC kids terribly, but the city has been good to me. I'm lucky enough to get to live with the gorgeous, funny, intelligent, sweet, politically-aware Anarcha (go check her out!). The job front is going well (just call a call for an interview at a place I'd love to work for). My friends have been marvelous with helping me move, showing me around, and generally helping me out when I need them. I've been getting settled in, learning the subway system, loving my Purell (I'm a TINY bit OCD and the grime is my main complaint about the city so far), eating delicious and/ or cheap food, hanging out with my friends, etc. Hung out with BetsyJane over huevos rancheros and cream biscuits. Worked on my newest art project a bunch. Went with some friends to see Talladega Nights, which was SO dumb, but SO funny (in part because I used to live near where it was filmed). Nothing TOO exciting, but so far things have been really good.

Before I moved, I sold all but one of my newest series of scarves AND my very first installation piece. The installation is going to a member who will remain unnamed, but who I will say is one of the sweetest people I've met on the site.

I noticed that my set hit 333 comments today. Halfway to 666!

I really want an asymettrical mohawk. I've wanted one for years and years, but they're coming back AGAIN in NY and I thought maybe this time I could actually do it. Depends on what kind of job I get.

My next two blogs will have sections about sex toys. This one is about masturbation and the next one is about partnered use.

My vibrator collection is one of my favorite group of things I own, second only to my art/ craft supplies. There are a number of reasons for this.

First off, sexual health is essential to overall emotional and physical health. Orgasms can:

relieve stress and regulate sleep patterns
increase your blood flow to the brain (which helps with migrains and slowing the onset of wrinkles)
increase your heart rate (which burns calories, maintains cardiovascular health, and helps your body rid itself od toxins)
release endorphins (which creates a feeling of euphoria, lowers rates of depression. manages pain, aids in fighting cancer by helping to produce "natural killer cells" in the immune system, and improves concentration and memory)
release estrogen and testosterone (which makes your skin smoother and hair shinier)

How amazing is that?! I'd much rather spend a little money on a good vibrator now than a lot on than therapy, sleeping pills, a gym membership, Prozac, ginko biloba, and cancer/ heart meds later.

Also, I find that it is imperative to maintain a sexual relationship with yourself regardless of whether or not you are in a relationship. You learn the most about your sexuality-- where all your erogenous zones are, what kind of pacing and pressure you like, and generally what turns you on or off-- through masturbation. In that respect, it can help you to enjoy partnered sex more. In addition, I think that people who know their own bodies well make the best lovers. As the cliche goes, how can you please anyone if you don't know how to please yourself?

Though those aspects are important, as a woman I think it is particularly important to maintain a sexual relationship with yourslef in a relationship for another reason. Women are socialized to want to be taken care of by their partners. It's easy to become sexually dependent on a partner and to become sexually frustrated if the sex is unsatisfying or to postpone ending a relationship because of a dependence. Maintaining a sexual relationship with yourself helps to avoid those types of situations. Vibrators make that "maintenance" easy, fast, and fun.

Finally, vibrators are hot! They are extremely effective at helping women achieve orgasm, which I for one am a big fan of. They are available in a variety of sizes, shapes, materials, textures, and vibration settings, so there's something for everyone. They can be used on their own, or paired with hands or other toys such as dildos, Smart Balls, anal beads, etc. If you have more than one, they provide variety and throw the "masturbation is boring" excuse out the window. (I still don't understand people who think this. If it's boring, then you're just not very creative.) It is exceedingly rare that I haven't been able to get off with a vibrator, especially when I have a selection to choose from. If only all sexual encounters were so reliable.

So, as you can see, I am a big fan of my vibrator collection. If you don't have a vibrator already, I strongly recommend that you buy one ASAP! And if you already have one (or two, or three, or...) and want another, go ahead and buy one. Tell yourself Vuokko made you do it!


xoxo,
~Vuokko

I just got back from two weeks at craft school. It was tucked away in the mountians, so the mist would cover the landscape every morning and you could see so many more stars at night than you can in the city. Absolutely beautiful. And there were llamas! I learned some new textile techniques, mostly knotting (which is the PC term for macrame-- No! I did not make potholders! I made beautiful scarves and bracelets. Pics soon.), and did work study (which is to say I sweated heavily from steam and hot water hand hard labor in the dishroom). I had a lovely time and managed to NOT hook up with anyone while I was there (Yay!).

Now I am sick. I think it may have been the whole "no sleep" thing at craft school. I have a cold, sore throat, and hacking cough. I always get bad colds in the summer. I'm weird like that. Yesterday, on the winding drive down from craft school, I managed to throw up in the drivway of a construction site... where they were building a church. Hehe. I'm making myself a witch's brew cure-all with garlic, onion, cayenne, hot sauce, ginger, apple cider vinegar, and more. Also, caffiene-free blueberry tea with honey and lemon. It's helping.

I noticed that there are a bunch of new comments on my set. It's over 200 now. That made me happy. Thanks, guys!

In response to my last post, several people asked what I like when getting head. Here's my answer:

I think that in many ways oral sex can be more intimate than penetration. It's often more focused, it can be more loving in many ways, it takes just as much (if not more) trust, and it requires more comfort with your own and your partner's body. Just as I love learning what makes my partner tick, I love teaching my partners what gets me off. (Several people I've been with have thanked me later for teaching them how to go down on a woman, and told me that it was a major confidence builder for them. This may also be because I have really intense, loud orgasms, but whatever... I'm happy, they're happy, everyone's happy.) For me, getting head is all about the build. Cunnilingus doesn't start anywhere near the vulva, much less the vagina itself. (The worst head I've ever had was from someone who thought the tongue should be treated as a cock substitute and used pretty much exclusively for penetration. NOT HOT.) For me, it starts with eye contact. There's a particular look that gets me incredibly hot every time I see it in a lover's eyes. It's similar to an "I want you" look, but there's something oh-so-slightly different about it that makes it "I want to devote myself entirely to your pleasure, and I will enjoy every second of it." The enjoyment of both partners in tantamount to the overall experience. From eye contact, it's on to kissing (which is a separate blog entry) and, generally, a good amount of nipple stimulation (once again, separate entry, as I have very sensitive nipples and can cum from that alone). Then it either down from the nipples or up from the thighs. Down from the nipples can be a very quick affair, even skipping over the rest of the torso if it's a quickie or just more agressive sex. But up from the thighs has to be slower, more deliberate. If my legs are together, there should be intention behind the spreading of them. Once again, eye contact can be a major aid in this. The backs of my knees and my inner thighs are quite sensitive to licking and blowing. I also love having my inner thighs sucked and bitten. (Yet another way that having meaty thighs comes in handy. Fuck skinny legs. I love my thighs!) Either way, you make your way to the vulva. It seems that younger or less experienced guys, once they figure out where the clit is, always go straight for it. While that can be nice, I find it's not always the best way. I prefer it when a partner lingers on the periphery first, teasing a bit by licking the skin between my thighs and my labia, blowing on my clit, gently sucking my outer lips, then working their way to my clit. Since I have a vertical clit ring (which my piercer says is more "functionable" than a horizontal, hehe), this part is pretty easy. It's a matter of starting off with either slow strokes and light to medium pressure, then building to heavier and faster strokes, or starting off with very light, quick tongue flicks and building in pressure consistently and changing speed only as needed. It depends on the mood you have already set. (Some people forget this-- the oral sex should be consistent with everything else going on. Wonderful, taunting, teasing build-up is a waste of time if you dive in with your eyes shut and really agressive, intense, "let's fuck like wild animals" build-up is all lost if you wimp out when it comes to oral time.) It's easy to forget what your hands are doing at this point. Don't. Even if they're just gripping my ass or thighs or breasts, that's helping. Beyond that, I can usually get off from tongue alone, but sometimes it's a good change of pace to have a little hand action, too. My current favorite thing to have done in conjunction with oral is the tiniest bit of fingering with just one finger at the very periphery of my vagina, just inside my inner labia and barely moving back and forth. It's a phenomenal tease and usually lets my imagination do the rest, causing me to cum really hard. Sometimes I like g-spot stimulation, both internally and externally (by pressing with 2 fingers on my stonmach, between my belly button and where by pelvic bone starts). On occasion, I love me some analingus, but I insist on a barrier. At any rate, with these factors in play, I will most likely cum, and it will most likely be an intense orgasm. Unless they're pretty clueless, partners can tell when I've cum because I get even louder than I already was, squeeze my thighs together, and grip onto whatever is nearby as though I am clinging to it for dear life, get really quiet and still (usually in some absurdly contorted position) for a few seconds as my eyes roll back, then turn into a puddle of mush dripping onto the floor. Once I've cum, I prefer that my partner not back off immediately. A few GENTLE tongue strokes near (but not on) my clit (it tends to get over-sensitive after a particularly strong orgasms) or some kissing of my thighs is generally best. I tend to have strong waves of pleasure after I cum, much like when on E, that are so beautiful they cause me to shiver. I find that kissing mouth-to-mouth can prolong them best. Also, it's very intimate and it shows that my partner and I are both comfortable with my body. Then I like to be held, to have my hair stroked, and (if I'm capable of talking at this point... sometimes it takes me a while to recover) some talking can be good. It depends on how close I am with the person. So... I think that's everything. Any questions?

In case you hadn't noticed, I haven't been around much lately. Things have been kind of crazy. Some of it has been insanity at work, returning to my regularly scheduled friendship with the gay boyfriend, breaking up with the bi one (who is wonderful, but long distance is just no good for me), learning php and mySQL for my portfolio/ sales site so it no longer looks like it's stuck in 1999, trying to figure out exactly what I'm doing for the next five years or so (baby steps, you see ), and implementing a strict "no-bullshit policy" in my life (which is simultaneously a faster and slower process that one might think... try it and you'll see what I mean), but mostly it's just the time of year. It's a few days more than a year since my dad died of cancer... and Father's Day is on Sunday. For those of you who weren't around when or before it happened, we got along incredibly well and were remarkably similar-- in fact I think he was the person who was the most similar to me of anyone I've met. My father was very supportive of me, my art (he was a photographer and playwrite), everything, even SG. I realized the other day that the things I miss the most are this supportiveness and his sense of humor, which often went hand-in-hand. If I ever had something that I was upset about, I could call him and he could make me laugh about it, even if I was sobbing when I picked up the phone. He had an odd mix of a sense of irony, an ability to satirize, a wry cynicism, an appreciation of the absurd, and an understanding of human nature that I have yet to see in anyone else. He also had a beautiful dignity about him, even as his health deteriorated significantly in the last days before his death. Although I never saw his body, my friend Andrea (who I met though him) said he still looked regal after he died. His strength through his illness is one of the things I admired about him most, and one of the things I can only hope I live up to if placed in a similar situation. For a long time I've been avoiding dealing with it, jumping from bed to bed, drinking too much, overworking myself, and the like to avoid thinking about it, but lately it's been much more in the forefront of my thoughts. This means that much more often than I'm comfortable with I start crying while driving or doing the dishes or whatever, but I feel like it will get easier once I've dealt with it more. I can sense it on the horizon. (Let's hope I'm right about this.)

Enough about that for now. I like the new site layout. I'm sure everyone has already talked about it and it's old news, but whatever. I am vaguely amused by the "About" tag and have decided to change the second sentence with each update (since that doesn't seem to happen all that often), and to talk about it in my post. It will usually be something steamy, to balance out the rest of the journal entry (since I am-- gasp!-- single at the moment and, yes, really, I promise, fully intend to stay so (start timers... NOW!)). Yes, I am told I give great head. I think that this is mostly because I LOVE GIVING HEAD. As a self-proclaimed feminist, I know that some would perceive this statement to be controversial. Whatever. Fuck you. You obviously don't know anything about third-wave feminism and can stop talking with me... now. I love giving head, I also love getting head. The exchange is generally balanced or in my favor. There is nothing wrong with enjoying giving as well as receiving. Back to the point-- yes, I adore giving head. There are so many possibilities, so many nuances to explore, so many ways to toy and tease and taunt and please... I find it to be quite the worthwhile endeavor. Variety is the name of the game. Should I begin by working up from the thighs or down from the nipples? To linger by the navel or not to linger by the navel? And the balls-- will I begin by gently teasing them with my tongue or caressing them with my fingertips while I start licking the frenum? Is it going to be, essentially, a saliva-lubed hand-job with some sucking and licking of the head or a "look-Mom-no-hands!" deep throat kind of affair... or something in between? Figuring out exacly what makes my partner tick is half the fun. And once I know that, the other half comes into play. I love love LOVE taking someone to the brink and then teasing them, making them wait in anticipation for the next five minutes before having an explosive orgasm. I've actually come on multiple occasions from doing that, I love it that much. Sigh...

Well, that was fun to write about. Perhaps this can be my new sexual outlet to help me stay single (hah!). Any questions? (No, I will not give you head if you ask me in my journal. ) Any suggestions for my next post?


xo,
~Vuokko