My wife works for the Womens shelter here.....I am struck by her comment that she was "waiting to be picked up"....the one here doesnt go pick anyone up....the abused women go to the shelter and are taken in.....I guess you could have offered to take her but my guess is that she would have refused.....whatever the situation was....abused women must...and I mean must..get out of the situation...most of them stay........

I was in this group that had a womens shelter come and talk to us about abuse. One women saw my reaction and asked me whats wrong. I told her I could not imagine hitting a women and I had a hard time understanding why these women would keep going back to a man that beat them up. To me a man is not a man if he beats on a women, I don't care what about her he is mad at, no one should put up with that. Man or women. She looked at me and said most women go back because they love the man. That to me didn't make sence. If I loved a women and she decided to beat on me, number one I wouldn't hit back because she's a women but I would be out of there in a flash because that does not show love. She looked at me and said I wouldn't be able to undestand then. But I do understand, I was married for 20 years in an abusive relationship, but my ex abused me mentally to the edge of a backdown. I can no longer have a sexual relationship with any women and I miss having a women to talk to and have fun with but because of my ex I fear any relationship and now I'm a cave dweller. So yes I did understand. Even thou I didn't get beat on physically, mental abuse is just as bad and can go on for years.

Yeah, in cases like that the only real thing you could is listen. Sometimes saying stuff just to say it sounds kinda fake anyways.

Cousre, I do not want to be cybical, but there is a chance it was a setup. Not saying it was, but I have had some people try and run some stories on me.

Regardless, sometimes people just need to be heard

I am sure you gave her the one thing she needed. I am sure most of the people who are involved in this problem have either yelled at her to get out of the relationship or was the person who beat her. She now has one person who did neither. You did one of the best things in the world and just gave her concern and compassion.

That is an amazing thing to do. You may have given her the only breath she has been able to take in awhile. She told her story and didn't have to answer for it.

it's a strange damn world we live in.

thats really odd...

i dont know what to say its just sad that women get beaten up by theyre husbands boyfriends. if they were real men they wouldnt do that.

It's shit like that makes you think about where your priorities are.

-TM

I volunteer at the homeless shelter here sometimes and some of the stories you hear are truly tragic. It is very hard to figure out what to say because just like any other time you meet people, they are each different. Some just want someone to listen, someone to care, others want you to lie to them tell them everything is going to be ok, some just want to have a fairly normal conversation.
I hope the people from the shelter picked her up.

I don't want you to know exactly what to say, because most of the time you can only really know if you've been there. It sounds like you were a good listener, and that's the best gift any empathetic person can give. It's obvious that she needed an ear, the way she fired right up when you sat down. When I'm freaked out and have a load of cares to dump, it's best when the listener can continue to treat me like the normal person I hope to return to being, instead of the basket case I am at the moment. That's a big thing to ask, and the listener has to be a very confident, self-sustaining soul. A little humor goes a long way, too. I like that you've thought about this.

Ya, that sucks. Reminds me of some of the inmates that I work with, the scumbags shit on their girlfriends and mothers. They don't care about the emotional aspect of the situation or financial angle, all they want is packages of food and cigarettes.

Atleast you tried to lend an ear, sometimes just being able to vent frustrations or anxieties can be a positive step for some people, she may not have had any one to vent to in her home because she is made to be subserviant to the so called "man of the house".