I just got tested for HIV today....
I have two weeks to find out if I am dying or not. And I'm scared shitless.... I probably don't have it, but I'm very scared. i practice safe sex....Although there is a couple experiences I am worried about. And I'm a little bit of a hypochondriac, but as I sit here and analyze
this possibility of having it or not I feel like my life is flashing before my eyes...

IF I have HIV, will I ever fufill my dreams?
Will I ever experience being in love again?
Will I ever see the world?
Will I ever get to make love again?
If I had it, have I infected anyone?
What am I going to do with the little future I have left?
Would I ever tell my family? and the thought of how heart broken they would be makes me teary.

The thought of my life being drastically shortented, dying a painful young death, not getting to fufill my dreams and my goals, makes me terribly sad. It is better to find out now, then after it's too late to enjoy every moment... And when the test results get back I will have a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Or Maybe I will find out that my life is basically over...

i gotta go cry now...