So I guess I havent had time to take care of myself, and now I feel like I am drowning. Stuck without work back where I started. A short venture trying to get out of my little hell hole in eastern OR left me broke and back where I started. Not exactly a great place, where upon I get more bad news which seems to be the only kind I get these days. However, I am writing daily, something I am new too...... fiercely looking for work.....anywhere but here, or even here if it means I can move out. I am officially naming myself Rapunzel because that is how I feel, not that I cant physically leave my tower but am bound by a lack of income, true friends, and emotional support. My dogs feel the pain too and I hope for their sake and mine we can figure things out because I am getting WAY WAY WAY to old for the nonsense in my life. Why did I have to graduate when I did?

On another note has anyone thought about WA D.C. apparently that is where all the money in america is right now, makes me wonder if I need to leave and move far far from here. But then I think if I am going that far why not go even further like Costa Rica or Brazil, somewhere pretty where maybe I can do some good. I am so lost in my head right now and confused. I need solid people to talk to instead of myself. Do they have guidance counselors for adults lol....oh well......I guess I was always geared towards being alone. I just miss the carefree days of college, expecialy when it was warm in Oly and me an my best friend could talk about what we were going to do when we were older drinking our coffee and counting hot guys who walked by....well Im older now, and not where I wanted to be. I feel like I have lost all those friends or they lost me. And I feel like its too late to grow up. Thats why my dreams are the best place right now, because I can go back and live those moments over and over again.

So im bored out of my mind. With no job and no local friends I feel like im develping an unhealthy attachment to my computer. Ive hardly seen outside this summer which bums me out. It would be nice to get out or even just have my phone ring once in a while.

Things are going better at the club and hopefully stay that way. other than some boy drama life is pretty good. i am debating what i want to do next in life now that things are somewhat in order. some thoughts have been joining the military, going back to graduate school, or maybe looking for a little adventure and some volunteer work. any suguestions would be much appreciated. i went out last night and had some drinks with coworkers and friends it was fun however i feel like i am growing out of the party life. i want adventure and exploration both of the mind and the world not just day to day getting the bills payed. we will see what i come up with i am sooooo indecisive lol

Everything is going swell. I have been behaving myself as much as i can. Lots of new artwork though ill have to post some pics. Ive got my court fines paid and im off prohbation so im free once again. Im working hard....shaking my ass lol. And am starting a piercing apprenticship. I would also start a tatoo apprenticship at the same shop however I CAN NOT draw lol The shop I work for is great, the club however not so great. I was thinking of moving to vegas but i decided to stall a bit on that decision but I may start making monthly buisness trips down there. I need to make some connections down there though since I have only visited vegas once. Well im off to work at the club. I vow to be more active round the sg world and maybe ill do a set soon....i missed you all and am happy to be back xoxxoxoxo

Today will e the first day of the new good girl me...and i wil e a good girl for a long time now. Im actually looking forward to it. Surprise surprise. Meet the new me...

oops double posted

tripple posted