Insomnia...

I can't sleep. I didn't sleep last night either. I feel so unsettled in my life. I'm only occupying this big empty room until they finish teaching me and I get to go travel. I can't wait. (I'm a UK film student spending a year abroad in USA). So... where am I gonna go? Upstate New York. Then into Canada. Then west to Portland, Oregon. I have to go there coz its where SG started! Its gotta be a pretty cool town! I heard its hip. Never been there or seen pics or anything. Then I'll get a train and travel down the west coast to California and LA. Maybe I'll see Vegas before I fly home to the UK! Who knows. Yawn.

My set was rejected. Arg. So soon I guess I'll get round to putting it in the member review. I'll need to narrow it down from 120 to about 50. Whats the ideal amount for a hopeful set? And I'll need to install Photoshop and edit it a bit. I don't have Photoshop and I don't know how to use it! Red eye is annoying, I always get it, I have big pupils.

A friend introduced me to WoW. I knew this would be a bad idea... the troubles I had with quitting Oblivion. I had to go cold turkey in order to concentrate on my exams and it wasn't fun! So now I'm addicted to WoW. Thanks a bunch, dickhead friend. I got my Blood Elf Hunter up to level 15 in the first two days. And I have a pet dragon! Aw. I've stopped going to classes or socializing. HELP ME.



I also loved Portal and played through it about 4 times. I loved the concept of producers' commentary. Insightful. I always dug it on DVDs (directors commentary), it makes even more sense to put it into games. So of course that set by Posh was awesome! I want her tshirt!

So, this video. And this cartoon.

I guess my nerdiness is now fully out of the closet. Should I ramble on about the D&D or LARPing escapades I've been getting up to? Maybe not!

I'm new to WoW. Anyone got any handy hints or tips for me?

A picture from my Pink Punk set I sent off.

Obviously its gonna need photoshopping. I got the star tattoos recently. There are 9 of them, as there are 9 underworlds in Viking mythology, among other things. My SG name is gonna be Viking. I've been playing this awesome D&D game based on Ragnorok. I've had the bat wings for about a year. I love bats, I thought about being called Bat Suicide but that sounds kinda lame. I think Disco and Nik also have bat wings. But I love mine lots. I designed them myself. My greatest fear is that someone draws better ones that I could have gotten. That would be annoying. I have more tattoo plans. My whole body has plans.

There are some really good sets out there at the moment. SG is coming on in leaps and bounds. I don't really feel like I could compete. I'm just some brit stuck out in the middle of nowhere America. This year has been amazing for me. My mate got Frank Turner to play at the uni. We did coke and went to Denny's. I'm living this whole year like such a hobo sleazebag.

Crossdressing is awesome!

Yesterday on campus they had some event for some stupid reason, but there were 4 couples crossdressing and lipsyncing. Yay boys in dresses! Girls in suits!

Ultra Violence

This set reminds me of that crossdressing birthday party I had once. I went as Alex from A Clockwork Orange.



I got guys to dress in dresses! And I giggled to myself, like, 'haha I'm doing this all for my own devious enjoyment...' but hey, it was my birthday! So I think its OK. They have a gaybar around here which occasionally has dragshows, which is pretty entertaining. And my friend recently showed me Hedwig and the Angry Inch which I'd recommend to anyone who enjoyed Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert or any film of that ilk.

Oh gender bending. What joys jwon't you produce???

Today I decided to shoot myself a set! Hurray! I have sent it in for staff review. But I have to get up for 8.30 and its already 5am! So for now I'm gonna catch me some Zzzzzs ...

Unfortunately, my friend's grandfather died while I was there. It was really sad. I went to the wake and the body was displayed. I've never seen a body before.

For my class on Death I've been studying Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and her ideas. She has studied over twenty thousand near-death experiences.

It goes like this. You are about to die. You become peaceful. You can see people in the room. People who have died before you. If you are religious, you may see angels, or religious figures such as Mary, Jesus, etc. You die. When there is no more brain activity your soul leaves your body. Your soul is body-shaped and whole, complete. If you lost your hair or you legs, your soul-body has them. You can see everyone in the room, even if in life you were blind. You can tell what they are thinking. You can travel over time and distance to see people you know and love. Then there is a bridge of some kind. You cross it and come to a light (of bright healing peace and love - that variety). If you are religious you may believe this light to be God. When you enter the light you become the judge of your entire life. You can see the effects, impacts and implications of everything you thought, said and did. Then you begin to follow the tunnel of light...

But of course, she only studied near-death experiences. Over twenty thousand of them, from people of all religious and national backgrounds, including atheists and agnostics. So we don't know what happens after you go down the tunnel, except in a few cases.

I remember what my Nanna said to my Grampa when she was dying. I can see angels. And I used to think she was saying it to make my Grampa feel better. But now, I'm not so sure.





In other news, I drank so much wine at this party that, having only eaten tomato soup that day, I made everyone scared by 'vomiting blood'. A lot of the wine was red wine. You can see where it all went wrong. Ha! I slurringly told them, "Itsth OK. I don't NEED to go to hothpitahhl. Ahmm faah-ine!"

I never thought it would be OK for me to post a blog, since I'm not a Suicide Girl yet. I never felt worthy! But then I read Dwam's blog, and I thought, damn! Good blog! She's participating and I love her cartoons and pictures! So I decided to start one.

I'm from the UK but I'm studying in America for a year. I'm a film student. Now is Spring Break so I'm going to spend it in New York City with a friend who lives on Long Island. I'm very excited, I haven't seen much of the city!

I want to mention how obsessed I am with Azurescens. She is legendary! Do you have the balls to do something permanent that will set you apart forever? To live without a home? To run from day to day with nothing to fall back on?

Right now I should be packing. I've been trying to contact Steve and Brooklyn (NYC official SG photographers) but alas I think my pleas were lost in the the hustle and bustle of cyberspace. Maybe I can find a photography student to document my nudity? If you know of anyone, alert me! For now, ciao! x

Glasses AND sunglasses. I need that many lenses to see the world through before it starts to look ok...