I tried playing a friend's spongebob ukulele and got hooked, so I got myself one. I got a Baton Rouge U2S. I tried it in the shop and it played much nicer than the cheapest ones (but not as great as the expensive ones). I've never played a stringed instrument before, so I'm slower to learn than someone whose played guitar before. But I love it, the tinkly sound, any song is instantly uplifted.

I'm playing lots, but I really love trying to play Shake it out (Florence+The Machine)



I had a night like that recently. I wish I didn't have hormones, what a fucking setback. When you can't sleep and every worst thing goes over and over in your head. They used to plague me a lot more when I was younger. Now I try to be more constructive with it, work those feelings out. I guess you can either let difficulty drag you down, or try to see silver linings. I have regrets like anyone. I used to ignore them, or say I didn't have them, or that they were pointless. It's just a part of being human.

I read How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran, really liked it. Although I watched a few youtube videos of her and she thinks she's "on a mission from god" and "wants to change the world" and has "written about stuff no-one's written about before" and she's single-handedly "bringing feminism back for the noughties" and I kiiiiiind of think she may be a living in a little bubble from that respect (i'm beyond sure girl-wanking and abortion-whateverness and Is Jordan a Feminist Role Model are topics that have previously been pretty-fucking-addressed) ... but the book itself made me laugh, so good enough. I read Pigeon English a while ago, kind of inspired by Damilola Taylor, about this 11yr old boy from Ghana and his jarringly chipper reaction to living in a scummy London tower block, and THAT made me laugh on pretty much every page. But about the Caitlin Moran book, she was talking about how women, being oppressed and only getting the vote a while ago, and being generally more introverted. Like looking inwards because of being unable (not allowed!) to impact the outside world so much. I'm pretty introverted. I blame being a woman! ha. No but, I think she makes a fair point on a lot of stuff in that book. I love that Shake It Out song, it expresses it awesomely and I love her voice. Although she is WELL not 25 like her record company says.

I've been more employed than I've ever been, last few months. Win!!! Long may it continue. I was beginning to loose hope. Unemployment is highest its been in the UK since the 70's. I have less time for wasting on that facebook sims game. But that's OK, it was a timesuck. I'd like to say I've been enjoying Diablo III since it finally arrived. I've had it on pre-order for 2 years. But its laggy as fuck and last few days I can't even log in!!! BOOOO!!! Why won't they let people play singleplayer not online??? So yeah, mostly playing ukulele. I've had it like... a month? I know the more common chords. Changing chord quickly is hard. I got harder fingertips from it. Maybe one day I'll be able to shred it up to an awesome System cover like this guy. I like Orla Garland's version of Hey Ya too. I wanna learn some Two Gallants songs. I should join a local uke club. I wonder if there's one near me.

I'm still spinning staff and juggling and stuff. I'm learning to juggle clubs. I can just about juggle rings. One day knives! I love circus festivals, super sedate and everyone's nice. Going to a lot this summer, performing.

My friend was talking about how great being a raw vegan is. But I dunno, kale smoothies are gross, no matter how much pears and bananas you put in it. Blerg.

Long update yeah and no pics so will gtfo. Someone at work put me in a random sweepstake for the eurocup thingy. I got Ireland! Lowest apart from Greece in the 16 teams we had. Time to start wearing a green top hat and drink lots of Guiness at work right? I have to enjoy my defeat ey?!

xxx

you know those shoes i was lusting over a few blogs back...

in the end i got them. i found a cheap pair, basically the same but they didn't have the straps across.

they were supposed to look like this:

but i got dark blue (/black?) ones in the post! not what i asked for!!! i've sent them back. but i shot with them first.

***

its been snowing for the first time this year. i made a snolarbear! my friends made a massive castle fort, a snow ness monster, a few snow-women (with obligatory ginormous honkers), some other stuff...

***

this morning i woke up to screaming. it was high pitched and abandoned, it sounded mad. i thought it was that crazy homeless women again, who got chased in front of the house by police once, screaming 'don't take my baby' (she didn't have one with her...). i looked out the window, and saw three men wearing hi-viz jackets, carrying... at first i thought it was a dog, but then realised it was a little deer. screaming at the top of its lungs, as they took it away.

***

i got some studio pictures taken of the vintage i sell on etsy. check it out!

these are my two good friends, they did awesome, i loves them.
this is my etsy shop Viking X Vintage
( www.etsy.com/shop/vikingx )
i'm going to change the name sometime, when i think of something good. (any ideas?)
and when i've given out all my old business cards.
just for my SG friends, this coupon code gets you 20% off: SGFEB
just enter it into the coupon code box in etsy check-out when you buy something.
i've gotta say, its mainly womens stuff! but i plan to add more mens stuff soon, i'll keep you posted.

***

my viking suicide facebook account has rejected me, won't let me sign in, keeps asking if i really know those 5000 people... fair enough! but since i can't log in and dont reall care, how do i get them to delete it?

***

life is sweet and i'm having a ball. there is good news on the horizon. it all depends on a new development at home. i sound like a horiscope... but i really hope it works out. cross your toes for me. i am a lucky viking, and i hope i can be extra lucky in this case.

***

i just went to see The Artist, that new silent film. its lovely, i recommend it. i watched a lot of silent films when i was at uni. it often strikes me, how much more you empathise with the characters. you have to pay attention, and describe to yourself what's going on and how they must be feeling. i think its a more emotional medium. plus, dude had a killer tash. the 'cad', as i recall it being referred to during testicular cancer week, when everyones growing facial hair. uhhh. oh yeah, movember.

***

i am drinking desperados (a beer with tequila and lime flavor), eating ginger chocolate, and now i'm going to drink some de-caf earl grey tea. isnt it awesome, de-caf tea?! now i can drink tea all the time! i was thinking so much about everything thats going on with me at the moment last night, and only slept 3 hours, so i think tonight is going to be heavy on dreamtime.

good hunting!

viking x

say hello to my 2 new tattoos, from the brighton tattoo convention

a tooth and key by jean harai, who was so precise and efficient i almost think he may be a machine. he did a drawing, and i asked him, no, the key a bit more decorative, the tooth a bit less craggy, and he redrew the thing in seconds, without reference, and it was perfect. he's in belgium (there's a lot of good artists there it seems!) and i hope i get to see him again at another convention. he's been tattooing for 12 years, and i totally recommend him. i bought his reference book too, this guy can draw.



the daruma doll on my knee has got to be the most painful tattoo i've ever had! you have to push the needle in hard. more painful than my ankles or sternum. its by billy hay, who's getting famous for his new school stuff (although i asked for this piece to look more traditional, more like a real one, and he did it great, i luuuurrrve it), and he's won a fair few convention awards. he's lovely too, really friendly. the convention was closing so he had to speed through. which was a good thing because it HURT! he has a great way with colour, if you look at his other stuff, good and bright, nice solid lines. super nice guy!



i recognised some awesome work in a portfolio, i had seen some of his stuff in magazines, and now i've realized the name of my new hero: the guy is el monga, and i think it has become my mission in life to get something by him. its so weird, surreal, traditional, bizarre, dream-like, symbolic, out-of-perspective, unusual... i loves it. some pictures here.

i also got shot by the talented p-mod! turned out great, i love the pictures. i haven't shot in ages, but shooting with him is easy, he's so relaxed. yay!

i also got a new nose ring, gold with a shiny gem, very bling. but i'm scared the circle itself is too big, and just looks like a bell pull or a door knocker!!! what do you think, i need a smaller one? or i can get away with it???



viking x

Yogi Tea have printed little yogic sayings on their teabag tags, which rarely fail to make me smile. ;-)





xxx

a while ago i did a blog about crochet trees

i finally found one!!!!





woohoo!

i've been swimming every day for the last 2 weeks. i am very proud of myself, because i HATE exercise, its so boring and repetitive. i wanted to test my will power, and maybe get a little hotter in the process. i ate a LOT in Tenerife, i was on full relaxing mode, it was awesome. christmas was not the big relaxing eating lots thing that i usually make it, it was hectic, and not so relaxing, just travelling to lots of families and entertaining children, as mentioned in last blog. ternereefee, you are to blame, for my hours of hated splashing about in circles! i need to go back to that pole dancing class, that was really fun.

i had an internship set up to start in jan, but they cancelled 2 days before i was due to start. I ASPLODED WITH RAGE! then i calmed down. then i spent a week feeling sorry for myself (although i did manage the swimming, which i guess at least got me out of bed in the mornings). now i dont know what to do with myself.

this week i was on a... hmm, imagine something a bit like a court jury duty, but for the welfare of a social housing type project (its volunteer work). and there's this kid who's very sweet but making all the wrong choices, and basically just pissing off his neighbors, and i'm involved in making decisions about his welfare. i'm finding it really stressful. i've spent hours ringing relevant people, investigating youth charities and support networks... while he's busy taking ket, letting in squatters, playing his music at twenty thousand decibels! haha, well not quite like that but... i swear some people don't know they're born. or know what impact their actions have on them and everyone else. or maybe they DO know and they're just dickheads! haha. no, i dont really think that. i just think he's a bit thoughtless, due to his Life Situation and Troubled Life Experiences. trouble is, when that type of thing means people get fired from their jobs because they loose too much sleep, what do you do?

hope everyone's well! merry january. *rolls eyes*


p.s. i'm in love with these shoes. i want them. but i'd probably never wear them! anyone else ever feel that way???

so i used to work with kids, about a year ago. i was looking for ANY job and that was just the one that got back to me first. i was uncertain about it because i thought i pretty much hated kids, i assumed they were all annoying whiney brats. i just didnt know any super young people, there weren't any in my immediate family, so i'd made these assumptions. they were also probably lingering opinions formed during my goth phase.

i really regret dyeing my hair black, it didn't suit me AT ALL, because being naturally ginger i have pale orangey eyebrows, which dont work at all well with black hair, plus, the regrowth is really obvious, and almost instant. but a goth phase has to be done, at least once in your life, and if it had suited me i might have stuck with it... so goth me probably hated kids on principle - being anti-maternal and against anything cute n cuddly n whatnot and whatnot.

anyway, it turns out i'm awesome with kids. they love me. we play games, get messy, laugh at fart jokes. even better, it took about a week, but i also found out, how to NOT let them walk all over me. how to get them to do stuff. not in a bossy way, just because sometimes, its necessary, you have to tell them what to do. like if they paint all over a table, you have to say, ok, you need to clean that up now. and use newspaper next time, then you won't have to! i always hated telling anyone what to do, previous to this job. thats because i didnt like being told what to do myself, and didnt want to in any way emulate what i saw as wrong. however, i think i just got told what to do a lot in a nasty way, and its ok to give instruction, and its easy to do it without upsetting people. i quickly figured out at work that it wasn't hard, and in fact it was absolutely necessary.

i stayed in that job a year, it was pretty fun, and i learned a lot of origami and other amusing tricks that keep children quiet for a bit. i got super good at hama beads and candle making and biscuit baking and face painting! ha. at the end of the day the parents would pick them up, and that was the part of the job i sucked out. i know, i'm technically an 'adult', and i'm not trying to live in neverneverland my whole life or anything, but seriously, i SUCK at talking to adults. i'm not sure if i'm too shy, or maybe too honest, or immature for my age, or something. you have to adopt a false kind of attitude, they expect you to be brusque and polite and, i don't know, its weird. they're generally just seem less honest, and less immediate to me.

i was always honest with children, i never lied to them, and i think thats important too. i saw a boy i knew from there a while later, and he asked me why i left. his mum tried to say, "oh, i'm sure she just found something better", she was trying to lie on my behalf, which is thoughtful (?) or maybe she wanted to protect him from my answer or something, but i said anyway, that i had loved getting to know everyone who went there (the children, not the adults, who were a weird bunch), but that job just didn't pay enough, and i wanted to do something else.

also, it was an intellectual quagmire; i could feel my brain seeping out of my ears. i love learning, i did well in school, why the hell was i wasting my time going to the same place every day to push kids on the swings for next to no money. thing is, i dont really want to get paid by someone else to do something i'm not 100% into, and have them take all the profits, and be bored for hours of every day, just to live it up on the weekend. life is way more important than that. i'd rather work really hard at something, get paid from doing that (even if its not a lot), and really believe in it and enjoy it. anyway.

the boy's mother was one of the reasons i left actually. she was really the only parent that bothered to take the time to speak to me; the others would just hurry through, pick up their kid and leave. she was going out with my friend's friend (two guys who are electronics engineers - both smart and well-paid), so maybe thats why she took the time to chat, because she knew me. she had a proper job, i think she did admin stuff at a university. she was beautiful! seriously stunning. tiny, delicate, feminine. probably the best looking person i've ever met in reality, and definitely prettier than a lot of celebs. i felt embaressed seeing her come every day to pick up her kid, and chat to her, because here was i, working a part-time teenage unskilled job like an idiot. i dont mean to insult people who want to do it, but i'd just fallen into it. it wasn't my calling. to me, for me doing that job, i may as well have gone back to cleaning, or a newspaper round, or whatever.

when i quit was kinda just before the economy got worse and jobs got even harder to find. i dont regret leaving that job though, i couldnt have kept doing it anyway; i was bored and unmotivated and i'd started to hate it. (i can't stand being bored, and repetitive stuff. i never watch the same movie twice.) although, on the plus side, i learned how great children are, which was nice. i do like them, but not in a full time kind of way. there's obviously a massive difference between being someone fun who won't talk down to them for a few hours, and being a responsible parent, who has to enforce the rules and do all the boring stuff.

this christmas my whole family got together and a partner of some distant relative had some teeny ones, and they were awesome. one of them (she was like six?) actually banged her glass with a spoon at the dinner table, to make an announcement, to tell me she thought i was beautiful. i went bright red.

my friend told me about her cousin, who's about 7, who chose his own presents for her this christmas and used his own money. he bought her a beautiful plate with birds painted on it, with a gold edge, and a fan. one of those pretty lacey handheld ones. see?! kids are awesome!!! who else would buy someone such awesome gifts. (but i dont want any. im warning you, ticking time bomb of a maternal instinct, back off.)

I sent out a print to a fan and the dude got it framed! I'm in good company: Rob Zombie, David Bowie, Trent Reznor, Pretty Things Peepshow, and Adam "Flood" Reed.

I had a brilliant christmas, and a crazy new years. Hope you all did too. Happy 2012 guys! x

Here is a photo of me being a drunken shouty yob, months and months ago. I hope to get lots more loutishness in for this year too.

Hello.

Lots has happened!

On my birthday, my friends gave me a suprise. A holiday to Tenerife! For a week! Needless to say, it was brilliant, and did I ever need it. So nice to be sitting in the sun, after a year of working hard and the winter really getting set. I haven't left the country in a really long time. I'm trying to persuade myself I deserve it here? I don't. It was utterly luxurious and fabulous and amazing though. I'm so bloody lucky. I pretty much cried with happiness. I drank ridiculous cocktails by the sea, with massive purple and orange sunsets. We went on segways (slightly pissed, which definitely makes for a more amusing ride) along the beach front, it was a few euros for half an hour... We went on a glass-bottomed boat, and saw dolphins and small breeds of whales swim alongside. You could see them really clearly, and then one of them did a massive poo right by the side, which somewhat spoiled the moment!!! Hahaha. Then the boat stopped and we went swimming in the sea. We went to Siam park, a massive water park, loads of slides, very awesome. The hotel was all-inclusive, so there was much eating and drinking. We went up the (dormant) volcano. It was high up, so it was cold up there. -7, while it had been 25 down on the beaches. I saw one lizard crawling between the rocks (people told me there'd be tonnes but I only saw one). Later, I found a sushi restaurant. I love sushi. Everywhere I am, I search it out. I've tried nearly all the restaurants where I live, but a new one just popped up. Anyway, I am so incredibly lucky, and I love my friends, and I loved Tenerife. Trashy Winter Sun Holidays for the win.

not my pics, taken from internets, mainly here to show you how awesome it was








I wore my high heel boots every day. I thought I'd never wear high heels, I thought they'd never been part of my personality. Too much tomboy. But maybe its because I never found heels that were comfortable enough. Or maybe I decided, my personality isn't irreversably changed by my appearance, I don't have to adhere to a set of self-created rules about who I am all the time, and there are so many different idetities to be explored.

I just finished reading Hard Boiled Wonderland by Haruki Murakami. I liked it better than Sputnik Sweetheart. I guess I don't like his writing style much, but I think he's imaginative. The ideas in his stories seem to stay with me a really long time after having read them. I better read Wind-Up Bird Chronicle and Norwegian Wood next, they're supposed to be his best.

For the last 3 months I've been completing an internship for an e-commerce company, which I've found really interesting. They taught me how to make websites, how to use photoshop a bit better (its an endless process of learning, I think, with that programme), some SEO stuff. It was really interesting. So I was doing that, and supporting myself by selling things on etsy. I then found out, that you can now receieve benefits AND do an internship. Previously, you couldn't, as they said if you're interning, you're not available for full time work. So I have another lined up for January, which will be focused more on online maketing and written content, and I'll be a little better off (although essentially, still working for free). Oh well, at least I'm able to get experience in a field I'm interested in. I would prefer to do unpaid work than sit around at home. I have an active brain, I go mad being by myself all the time.

I have photos from Tenerife I want to show you, and photos of things I'm selling on etsy that I need to process, but sadly my laptop decided to die! Worst timing possible! Now I actually have time to process them, but I can't! Darn. Be a long time before I can scrape enough together to get another one.

And yesterday the back wheel of my bike was nicked! The gears were inside, so the cable was cut. There were a tonne of spokes missing already. I doubt the wheel would be of much worth to anyone apart from myself! So rather than getting all the gears replaced, I just replaced the wheel, and now have a one speed bike (too heavy for a fixie! haha. its a thick n heavy dutch style bike). At least it gave me the drive to replace the breaks, which were super worn-out. The nice man from the Sex Shop (opposite from where it had got stolen from) said there's been bikes abandoned there, to lamp-posts nearby, for years. Why'd they have to take my wheel? Boo. Sad. Double locking isn't enough these days?! Maybe thieves are grabbing anything they can, in order to pay for Christmas? It seems like a lot of my friends bikes are disappearing at the moment. At least I only lost a wheel. This was the same day I got the new internship though, so thinking about it from a balenced perspective, that day was still in the plus.

Last night I went to the swimming pool with my friends. It cost me only a pound because of receieving benefits. Hidden joys ey? Then we ate some lovely christmassy vegan food and played dance mat games. It was lovely. The internship people said there might be a job available at the end of it, so I'm going to be working really hard. Hopefully I'll be able to get a job out of it. That'd be super.

And now, my housemates are doing a secret santa. I better get downstairs and gift it up.

Sorry no pictures! Next time ey?

Thanks so much for birthday wishes!

Laters aligators!

x Viking x

its my birthday tomorrow! i'm really excited. time is flying by lately. i bought myself some new shoes. fair enough since my old ones had worn out! i finally found some heels i can walk in comfortably. they're like ankle-boot-wedges? definitely feel sexier with some height. and i can still ride my bike in them! super win.



i've been doing an internship the last few months. they've taught me how to make websites, and a lot of SEO stuff. i find it really interesting. i love learning code. :]

here are some pictures of me in a tree. gnomey gnomey





i'm growing a lovely plant at the moment, and she's doing very well. i'm growing her in soil in a pot by the window. she's budding currently, i was wondering if anyone had any tips, because the earth gets really dry! i water daily, and use a little baby bio now and then. more compost? put a see-through plastic bag over her? build a structure from sticks and cellophane (clingfilm) to put around it, to keep in the moisture and heat and stuff? if anyone has any tips let me know. also, she seems to have obtained her own eco-system of tiny flies in the soil... how can i get rid of them without hurting the plant? any info and low-cost solutions appreciated!

i think i'm gonna get dressed up and go eat vietnamese food this evening. that stuff is amazing. ill wake up the next day on my birthday with leftover take-out for breakfast. :]

ok, i'll leave you with a picture of me in my pants playing video games. and wearing my pink fluffy cat hat! woot!



x Viking x

heya

a while ago i tried to write a blog but it wouldnt work, none of the pictures would upload. i gave up.

today i did a shoot. a photographer contacted me. he was interested in psychology. he was doing a piece for his dissertation, on photographing emotion. he talked to me about my life and how things made me feel, and tried to photograph that. he was really nice. it was an interesting experiment. i learned a lot about myself. i learned i have a lot of walls, and boundaries. i sort of knew that already. i found it hard to access my own negative emotions. sadness was reduced to a series of things which could have been better, anger was a series of things that mildly annoyed me. i am always optimistic, always laughing, with people. i found it hard to display anything negative, but i really tried. i didn't want to waste his time. i'm not a robot, i just forget the bad stuff, or block it out, because i think, there are enough troubles. a million others have it worse. my life is basically fantastic compared to a lot of people. i wouldnt change it. i hate moaning for no reason.

the photographer was saying, he wanted to explore this topic in particular, because he found it hard to explore his emotions. as a man, he felt he couldnt fully express himself. his father would say, son, stop crying. and he couldnt cry, the rest of his life. why is it, a father would hug his daughter when she's upset, but chastise his son?

on a similar note, i was hanging out with a friend recently, we were watching a music channel on tv. i am really behind the times, because i don't have a television, and i don't listen to music much... (it takes all my attention to hear music, and affects me so deeply, that i find it a chore to listen to, in some ways. i guess that sounds weird.) anyway, there were all these Lady Gaga videos, one after another. she has amazing videos. i'm so impressed. she's not just doing the uh-uh-i'm-so-sexy pop video girl thing. which is boring and DONE. and there's that one where she's a mermaid, and she's a man. Frankie is the name of her alter ego? i think i heard that somewhere.

i guess what i'm saying is, i loved it. more gender-play in popular media please! i might even buy a tv. this is bravery. or maybe, weirdness for the sake of it, i guess her enemies would say? but its hard to deny there's a sincerity to everything she does.

i looked at the photographer, and tried to imagine he was a woman, with a beard. if he shaved, i thought, he could really easily pull it off. he had pretty eyes.

i can hear fireworks.

my question is this.

do you have walls? do you have boundaries, emotionally? how do you erode them? i have so many.