Walls can take a lifetime to overcome...... I've done so much blocking out I've forgotten a lot of experiences in life and some can't even be remembered without certain trigger words. Its unfortunate but I guess that's how the human mind works which can be good and bad in my opinion nobody wants to continually feel bad stuff I think that's what rewires your brain chemistry into depression so are walls really that bad...its a protection mechanism and besides people that don't have them come off as a little too emotional overwhelming. I think meeting someone who's interested in who you are and your life experiences is the only way and they have to be accepting of who you are and make you feel like its ok to cry and to point out the weird things you do and then will you make sense of it and begin the process of changing it =)

There was a multi-year process of grounding myself -- going from the introverted nerd to a more confident, reasonably outgoing...nerd. It took a lot of effort, a lot of putting myself purposefully into uncomfortable situations and just dealing with it. And I found I could deal pretty well! Some things that helped or which I adopted along the way:

1) the notion that lying = failure and 95% of the time it's your failure (ergo, just stay honest);
2) gender roles are unnecessary and often counterproductive (I became a nurse and love it);
3) retain as much ego as required for a sense of self and not a smidge more.
4) Let go. A lot of things that are annoying in life just won't matter a day/month/year from now. Don't let it get to you. Live your life and do some good. The world needs more good.

I'm a lot happier now than I used to be, and many walls have come tumbling down.

-TTm

It's good to hear from you again!
I have mental walls that stops me doing many things.

Yeah, I have walls up, but that doesn't stop me from feeling emotions. Like you, I tend to focus on the positives and not the negatives. Life seems too short for that.

Yeah, gender roles are weird. Why can't a boy cry? Why is it okay for a girl to cry? I think we as a society should be trying to change these stereotypes so that anyone can be whatever gender they want and how they want to do that. Just my opinion though.

RE: Lady Gaga, I was more shocked she did a country song over her mermaid/gender play.

I find I put up more walls once I really like someone - I can't be as open because I don't want this person I think is neat to suddenly hate me.

It takes practice and learning to trust!

Good walls make good neighbors, sometimes. I don't try to erode mine- I just try to make sure they are in the right places.

Sounds like an amazing exploration. Would love to see some of the photos.

And we all have walls. Hate to say it... but it's a necessity in this life, when so many people want to push and pull you, and remake you in their image (which is the way a all societies.

Trick is I think... is to make sure the walls are easily retractable when they are unnecessary or counter-productive. And to have the good judgement to know when to...

What a nice experience with a photog.
i once tried talking and portraying emotions with a girl, but it was hard, maybe i didn't ask the right things, idk.

walls... ehm, i believe so.
they come up after people make me build them up. i'm easy when it comes to talking, but after people destroy the relationship i build with them i slowly drift away.
Boundaries, they start when humans become not so nice people toward me or others. Emotionally... i couldn't tell, i guess i just don't like when people go through the not so peaceful path and it involves me pretty much.
To erode them, i guess one first has to realize it why would you like to erode them, afterwards i would just try changing what i have to only in order to become a better human being!

can't wait to see the images!

Yeah, I suppose I do. Walls have very helpful purposes. They help keep out all sorts of crazy people, as well as all the good normal folks who'd be incapable of comprehending me. For me, dealing with strangers requires a lot of psychic energy. Walls are a fairly indispensable tool.

The problem is, with good walls in place, how do I find the right folks that I want to let in? The Internet is very useful in one way - over time, it allows for close inspection of others that's usually not possible with people you randomly encounter in offline life. It's easy to present a false online persona, but it's pretty difficult to maintain that persona (with someone who's paying attention) over an extended period of time. The unfortunate counter-balance to that advantage of online communication is that virtually everyone has a nagging suspicion that everyone else they encounter online - even those who appear sane - are likely to be either stark-raving mad or world-class liars.

I suppose if life were easy, we'd all get ourselves into far fewer bad situations. Selectively lowering walls is a tricky business. I don't claim to have any answers, beyond striving to keep an open mind and to be alert for any fortuitous situations that may present themselves. It's about striking the balance that's right for you between protection and openness.

I think there's a lot of worthwhile stuff on television these days. Broadcast TV is still bad, for the most part, but cable has irrevocably altered the landscape and the Internet is in the process of altering it yet again, making it ever easier for someone to move from a good idea to an ongoing production.

I'm not sure whether mass fame is ever good for anyone, in the end. I'm only a marginal fan of her music, I do like and admire Lady Gaga.

Gosh, you really started a riot here!. Considering how much people is writing on this topic i feel i should just keep it short. Walls indeed exist and have been thoroughly studied by both psychoanalysis (as the generally, and shamefully, misunderstood Oedipous complex) as in sociology and anthropology. Culture in the end is actually just a set of walls, generally completely arbitrary. There is a deep political significance behind all this we could grab a coffee, or an ice cream, and talk about it, if you want.

Was this one of the experiments at the Behavioral Psychology department? I´ve done a couple of those, (our lab is just right back there too).

I think is actually great that you put attention to music, I actually admire people like you. Think about it, there is music everywhere, we live in a noisy noisy world today, but no one is ever paying attention, is just... noise. I actually rather sit down and try to really listen, every once in a while.

That´s it for now, take good care!

besos

i guess we all have walls in certain ways.. and boundaries and setting boundaries...
coming from a broken family with lots of trouble for me and my sister when growing up i found out my own walls which i had to break/tear down around the age of 28 ... at which point i went in to mental breakdown.. but i came out of it a better person, being way more open to other people and also feeling a lot better about myself most of the time... it is quite extreme how much other people (especially when your young) can influence the way you percieve the world...

i think i will never be done taking down some of the boundaries (or scars whatever you like to call them) from my childhood and change the settings for other boundaries time after time... but i think i feel good about that and it makes me a better person every time

Sounds like an interesting photographic project, but it would be hard for me to show emotion on command.

Well I know in America guys are suppose to be tuff, if you cry you are weak, you can show happiness but not going over board with it and anger is ok as long as it doesn’t get out of hand, it isn’t right, but that is the way it is here.

I have a lot of walls, no one has really ever given me a reason to bring them down, I have never been in a relationship where the girl had passion for me, or at least not the ones that lasted, one of them might have ended up that way but she moved back to where she was from.

I have so many walls- I think they are right now best kept up and stable if they crumble I am unsure as to what may happen. Besides I enjoy watching the ivy creep up on them and drawing chalk outlines of the bodies of people who throw themselves at them.. I like being slightly closed off.

I have thick walls that I break through, then the villagers chase me with torches.

you might be interested in this article about lady gaga's "bad romance" video. i'm actually watching the end of her thanksgiving special on tv right now, as a matter of fact.

walls? i've built so many and added reinforcements to them that i fear nothing can erode them. as the verve said, the drugs don't work.