Stay strong and take care of yourself

This is gonna sound trite, but knowing your issue is half the problem. Now that you can focus on that you're halfway there. good luck to you.

When you acknowledge what the hell is wrong with you it's a lot easier to fix, but it's less pleasant because you have more on your plate. In my opinion, you've already gotten over the hard part regarding your emotional issues, minus new mistakes. Good luck!

Vice, I think you may very well be right about going to the source first. I have a friend with similar (parental) abandonment issues and what I noticed she subconsciously does as a tactic is start to arguing with people when she feels them starting to distance themselves from her. Many people tend to argue back, which is creating the illusion that they are "there" and not gone. True, they are "there" but not in positive form. I have more to say about this but I'd prefer to do it in private message, I don't want to overstep boundaries in this topic of conversation, in public. Say hey if you'd like to talk more about it.