After the recent discussion in the Photography group about photoshopping mishaps, and, since I'm aware that my set differs from the common plastophilic look some people prefer their erotica, I decided to shed some light on my thoughts that lead me to the decision not to photoshop my skin flawless. As you can see, there are scars, pores, hair and other whatnot that makes me a real person with herstory. Hiding them would be denying essential parts of myself.





Have you ever thought why girls in older pin-up pics seem to have "cellulite"? It's not because the times were somehow more tolerant but because no-one had yet conjured up a thing called cellulite and that it somehow needed to be banished off the skin of an ideal woman. Nowadays the whole shebang isn't just about the cellulite -the ideal woman does not have pores, body hair or love handles, either. The skin needs to resemble, well, a doll's. I think it's just a way of controlling women, controlling the scary, overflowing excessive female body and its abjects. By cutting away the personalizing features of an individual and, making the body doll-like, a thing, the will and the personality of the said person will also be cut off . It's funny that on a site that celebrates personalized bodies marked with tattoos, piercings and other kinds of bodily modification, some of the public still wishes the surface of the body to look entirely unpersonal, flawless, plastic-like. Hiding the marks of ageing also brings to my mind the age-old fantasies about young, helpless girls. It's easier to gain control over a naïve, adolescent creature and even easier over something that's not a person, but a thing.

To me, this site has always been about challenging the standards of convenience. However, I can't help but feel disappointed if the definition of beauty is only "given" to slim, tattooed bodies -all the different sizes, shapes and herstories are left untouch. I know I'm going to get some nasty comments about my body size, especially if the set goes live (and into myspace) but -you know what? If some anonymous misogynist is afraid that seeing a real girl will destroy his fantasy of power over womankind or some poor teenager so deeply attached to the mainstream idealsl about body shapes that seeing other kinds of beauties celebrated frightens her, I'm more that happy to scare those unlucky people.







Otherwise, I'm fine

See you soon

How's your life been?

I might consider returning to give you more excuses to leave "We want vag" tags.

It's been quite a while, huh?

I must admit that even if I have been really busy with my studies and work there are other reasons for my unactivity on the site. Like my ideas about aesthetics and challenging the beauty standards - the very reasons I became a suicidegirl. This site has changed a lot since I had my first set live and I'm not sure if I like the new style. I'm not telling that my views are any better - they are just different. It's like when I'm leafing trough magazines like playboy, they appear as weird anthropological artifacts to me, I really can't get into the heads of people preferring that kind of imagery. And when it comes to this site, I can tell you I'm not a great fan of airbrushing sets nor do I like portraying women as young girls - they are maybe the most unchallenging things you can do when you are trying to "change the beaty standards".

Since this isn't my site I've been thinking whether to try to change the site from inside, id est, shoot sets from my point of view or should I just retire. I got some of my answers when two of the sets I shot, Korento's Ordeal by roses and Miranda's Heavenly Creature got rejected - I guess I'm not shooting the sets staff wants. I thought that maybe I'm just clinging to the past and the new wider audience wants other kinds of sets. So I was quite surprised to log in after Miranda had posted her set and read all the positive feedback we got - maybe I'm not the only one longing for good ol' times

So, here are some of my favourites from Miranda's Heavenly Creature











- leave a comment if you liked it

and from Korento's Ordeal by Roses











it's also waiting for your comments

Maybe next time I'll post a proper entry but now I'll have to go to level my mage. Until then,



PS This isn't one of those "please comment my set!!111++" posts, I just thought to share my thoughts behind my unactivity on the site (though I would love to have new sets from both of my favourite ladies, either by me or Cherry.)

I have lots of work to do, couple of essays for next week, some seminaire work, photoshopping, reading reading reading (which I btw love). I go to cafés and library and drink tea. Lots of tea. Try to concentrate, read some more and write write write.

And I'm too exhausted and busy to do anything else. Sorry for my silence. I still kinda like you all

Sometimes people make me feel like this

I think it's funny that some people are so goddamn uneducated (or just plain stupid) that they fail to see that when it comes to publishing something there are no such things as "personal preferences" that "can't hurt anyone". Everything, every action we take and every choise we make does make a difference. The direction is ours to decide. Every picture on this site has the potential to widen the beauty ideal and vice versa, we can use our photos to promote misogynic paradigm if we want to. It's not "your personal choise" if you wish to show us your support on hate-crimes in a way that has been rather strong trough the history. It's just another representation building up the age-old idea about women wanting to get raped and by supporting it one does support the ongoing discourse that rape isn't actually a serious crime and women's rights aren't human rights. Represntations are highly political. They have social consequences. Why else would we be here trying to potray beauty with bodymodifications and different ideals?

I'm still waiting the racist and homophobic sets
(Sorry I forgot, when it comes to degration, violence or prejudicial action against women, it's not that important.)

Last summer I got to shoot lovely miss Korento but unfortunately our creation, Ordeal by Roses got rejected I think it's one of the best sets I've ever shot and I would appreciate if you could have a look at the set and maybe comment it - I think it deserves a second chance.



What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet. William Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet", Act 2 scene 2









Korento : Ordeal by Roses


/v

International bloggers are preparing an action to support the peaceful revolution in Burma. We want to set a sign for freedom and show our sympathy for these people who are fighting their cruel regime without weapons. These Bloggers are planning to refrain from posting to their blogs on October 4 and just put up one Banner then, underlined with the words „Free Burma!".

More information and banners here.


I'll be replying to the comments later.