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This is what happens when you put Vendetta and Shaine in an empty basement, with nothing but each other to pass the time...
IN OTHER NEWS
I'm the luckiest woman alive.
no but seriously I am.
oh and here are some candid n00dz of shaine
I know, I just don't let all the physical beauty cloud the fact that both shaine and cuffy will one day have their organs harvested to make me a superfriend.
LOVE
vendetta
I'm getting a boob job!
I also convinced shaine to drop her photography class.
Also, I'm wearing a t shirt that features batman on a jetski.
Furthermore, cuffy won't let me get a bunny. Someone please get me a bunny.
A cute one. I will name him Major Bedhead. Or if it's a girl, Trixie Firecracker.
Friends, commence the bunny hunt.
I also convinced shaine to drop her photography class.
Also, I'm wearing a t shirt that features batman on a jetski.
Furthermore, cuffy won't let me get a bunny. Someone please get me a bunny.
A cute one. I will name him Major Bedhead. Or if it's a girl, Trixie Firecracker.
Friends, commence the bunny hunt.
I'd rather suffer through 9 months of heartburn and constipation then experience what I'm feeling right now.
You can get pregnant on the pill, even if you take it religiously.
That pregnancy can be ectopic, and it can hurt like a bitch.
Having a D&C doesn't fix anything, the pain just gets worse and you still feel like you've taken a life.
IUD's are not worth the cramping, the pain, or cuffy complaining that something keeps biting his dick.
Bleeding and cramping for days, is not an indicative of a successful procedure, not to me at least.
Right now, I would love to cry my little eyes out and give myself a home style hysterectomy.
Vendetta hates her life right now.
You can get pregnant on the pill, even if you take it religiously.
That pregnancy can be ectopic, and it can hurt like a bitch.
Having a D&C doesn't fix anything, the pain just gets worse and you still feel like you've taken a life.
IUD's are not worth the cramping, the pain, or cuffy complaining that something keeps biting his dick.
Bleeding and cramping for days, is not an indicative of a successful procedure, not to me at least.
Right now, I would love to cry my little eyes out and give myself a home style hysterectomy.
Vendetta hates her life right now.
Okay kids, so once a year, I write a rant about the things that make me most angry in life. A lot of you have opinions, retorts, and criticism.
Let me be the first to tell you that I don't care where you stand on these issues, just know that the following arguments are my PERSONAL opinion and in no way reflect the opinions of any of the following:
-Canadians
-Army wives
-Italians
-The olive skinned
-Women with 11 siblings in-law
-Residents of Quebec
-20 year old Virgos
- People who don't eat Jell-o
-And anything else that I am and you may not necessarily happen to be.
Shall I begin?
(Remember, my opinion, not yours. This is done solely for entertainment purposes and is in no way an attempt to start a personal war of "who's keyboard can create the best counter arguments and or who is more intimidating when using the CAPS lock button.")
1) Sarah Palin.
It is shocking for some to see this first argument. I have at several points in time, made clear my conservative beliefs, and political opinions. I DID vote for Stephen Harper, the Canadian alternative for a Republican President, and therefore, support many of his foreign policies, religious convictions, pro life campaign, and support for the global war on terror. Being married to an American, it was natural for me to have a slight bias for the Republican Party, i.e., John McCain. As my husband has said before, as people involved in the military (active duty, spouses, etc), it is easier to bestow your trust in a man who has served, and spent time as a P.O.W., then someone who has not. Clearly, this is a man who understands military needs.
Step right up running mate and mother of the year, Sarah Palin. To see this woman run along side a man I respect and once supported is heartbreaking. This is a woman who believes that Global Warming is no fault of mankind. This is a woman, who votes against funding for sexually educating adolescents (karma's a bitch). We are talking about a woman who blatantly compared herself to a vicious and in some cases uncontrollable breed of dog.
What really set me off was her strategy. Her way of gaining respect from the American people is to sling mud at the Democratic Party. This is no way to show Democrats how powerful a leader a republican can be. It's childish and self demeaning. I won't get into the "bridge to nowhere" story but let's just say someone is 33 million dollars richer and has nothing to show for it. How could anyone call themselves a republican, support the Bush administration, become a politician, and campaign for VICE PRESIDENT of the United States of America, and not know what the Bush doctrine is?!?! Come on, I'm French Canadian and even I had the answer to that question. She could have at least googled it prior to the interview.
Let's face it McCain is no spring chicken. The man is old, to put it bluntly. If God forbid John McCain was no longer able to physically carry out the duties of a leader of one of the world's Superpowers, someone else would have to take his place. Step right up Sarah Palin. With my husband in the military (and converting to another branch), as well as the spouses of many of my friends, and other men and women alike, the last thing I could ever want for any of them, is to see her become the Commander in chief. This woman knows about as much as I do when it comes to commanding over 600 000 men and women willing to give their lives for their Country. I know very little about how the Military works, and unfortunately, the same goes for Sarah Palin.
This to say I disagree with many of the things said about Republicans on shows like:
-The Colbert Report (which I love, regardless)
-MSNBC
-The View
-Anything other than Fox News
However, every time I hear this woman speak, I see why the mainstream media thinks so little of Republicans. Every word that comes out of her mouth is fuel (or a natural gas pipeline-(woo-hoo)) for left wing journalists all over the continent to criticize her, and unfortunately, John McCain as well. The woman is a moron. Her voice irritates me, her face, her faux beehive ponytail, the fact that we wear the same glasses, and her horrible taste in names for her children (Although Trig, Track, and Bristol are unique...to say the least). Case closed.
2) One particular republican ad campaign.
As I said, I support the republican government and I think John McCain is a swell guy, until I saw one of his ads. It basically said: Obama wants to teach children about sex in kindergarten. That horrified me, so, I did some research. Turns out Obama wants to have programs warning children at the elementary level about the dangers of sexual predators. A little bit of a truth stretch on the republican side. That's not to say Obama hasn't said things himself, or that some of the accusations against him are in fact true. That particular accusation, kind of disgusted me a smidgen. For shame.
On a few lighter notes:
3) Nanny 911!
I am all about disciplining misbehaving children. Tonight, however, I saw an episode of Nanny 911! that made me want to reach into the TV and shake the mother until she stopped moving. Let me set the scene.
-Family of 4. Daughter 9, son 5, parents both morons. The son wasn't too bad...typical little boy, liked to run around and make noise. HOWEVER, the daughter was a nightmare. This little girl was free to tell her parents to shut up, called them stupid, idiots, hit them, yelled them, screamed at the top of her lungs, THREW THINGS AT THEM, etc. How did the parents react? The Dad tried to calm her down, which is good, but the mother? Wow. She would cry when her daughter got angry. Not out of frustration, out of EMPATHY. She felt sorry that her little girl was "upset". This child did not get scolded or disciplined for the lack of respect she showed her parents. She got rewarded. 9 years old, with a TV in her room (a room she never has to clean) who beats the ever loving shit out of her little brother, and gets away with it on a daily basis.
Enter Nanny Deb. What I hate most about this show is that the parents sign up for the show, admitting that they need help and that they are at the end of their ropes. Why do I hate this? Because as soon as the Nanny starts making rules, the parents ignore them, and insist that they know better and the nanny is "Overstepping her boundaries". Are you kidding me? Like you're doing such a swell job. Next time you need parenting advice, talk to Sarah Palin.
Why does this get me so riled up? I'll tell you why. My parents were firm disciplinarians. I was a hell raiser. I mean, I was bad. I yelled, threw tantrums, and beat on the other kids at Pre School. Yet, what sets me apart from the Nanny 911! children, is that I NEVER EVER disrespected my parents.
In my 20 years of living I have never:
-Called either of my parents a name
-Cussed at them
-Refused their affection
-Confused our roles
-Refused to do my chores.
Why? Because if I did any of those things, I would get sent away to bible camp, forbidden to color in my coloring book, and worst of all, my mother would say "Honey, you are hurting Mommy right now, and if you don't stop, her heart is going to break, just like Elvis". I now know that Elvis didn't die of a broken heart, but that's beside the point. The idea of hurting my mother, or losing her, destroyed me. I LOVED (and still do) my mother dearly. Even when she wasn't around, which was often. When she actually was around, I treasured the time I had with her. I was rarely hugged, tucked in, read to, played with, or acknowledged as a child. The last thing I needed was to feel that final kind of isolation.
These kids are handed everything, and they are happy making their parents cry, and disrespecting them. I would have KILLED for my mother to take me to the park. I would have given anything for her to play barbies with me. I would have loved to have been raised by my mother and not by a Nanny for 10 years of my life. I never got to truly know my parents, and they never got to truly know me. I will never make the mistake of having someone else raise my children, as my parents did. For that, the families of Nanny 911! are worthy of one of my rants. Those kids don't know what it's like to have parents who don't care, and don't see how truly lucky they are. The grass is most certainly not greener on the other side.
4) The Catholic Church.
I was raised Catholic. My husband is Catholic. We come from a long line of practicing Catholics. Although there is an endless list of things the Catholic Church does wrong, I choose to focus on one. Money.
I got married in a Courthouse on a Wednesday afternoon, with no family or friends around. We had a party later that week at a bowling alley. For our families, that just wouldn't cut it. So, my mother has begun the rigorous planning of a traditional Italian wedding to take place next fall. Here's where the magic happens.
The church, charges 800$ for the 30 minute ceremony. Also, the church charges 100$ for the aisle carpet. Furthermore, the church demands a "voluntary" donation of 50$. All of this does not include flowers, which will be an additional 1000$. So far, the church is asking for 950$. Already, that is pretty ridiculous, but, it gets better. Today, I received a letter in the mail, saying that cuffy and I MUST attend pre-marital classes. Three to be exact. The cost? 100$ a class. 300$ total. Why should I take a class telling me how to be married, when I already am? Why should a priest, who is single, tell me what my marriage should be? Why should I have to sit through lectures about the damnation caused by birth control, and how we shouldn't sleep with our in-laws? That's ridiculous. 1250$, for something we paid 20$ to have done a year and a half prior.
I am so disgusted by how the Catholic Church exploits its followers for everything they have. On top of everything, they pass the collection basket around TWICE at the ceremony. 250 guests, let's say 200 at the church. 5$ each, 1000$ for the church. 2250$. I must admit it's a lucrative business, but it almost sickens me. The Catholic priest is the only one I see rolling up to work in a Benz. The only religious worker I see wearing a Rolex to mass. Catholic nuns are forced to take a vow of poverty when they become nuns. This means no personal property. No salary. Double standard? Maybe? I think so.
5) The cheese whiz commercial.
I'll keep this short and sweet. This particular commercial shows us all the fun things we can do with cheese whiz. My favourite? You can melt it, and *drum roll* USE IT AS A PASTA SAUCE. I'm sorry but that is the trashiest, most disgusting, and personally insulting violation of perfectly good food. Do people actually do that? Do people melt cheese whiz and call it Alfredo? Seriously? Why not just put ketchup on your spaghetti and call yourself a French Canadian.
6) Amazon. com
I ordered season 1 of army wives, 5 days ago. I paid extra for faster shipping. Said shipping states that my DVDs should arrive in 4-6 business days. This is important to me, because I have already watched Six feet under, and Dexter, and now need to waste away precious brain matter on some more quality television. Why so glum, Vendetta? Well my enthralled cyber friends, I shall tell you.
Monday, I got an email from Amazon saying my item should arrive on October 1st. Why, there must be some mistake, I paid (rather, my husband paid) an extra 10$ so I wouldn't have to wait the full 12 business days. No mistake, we're just assholes who overcharge you and will make up some stupid excuse when you call to complain and in no way compensate you for the emotional and psychological damage they have no doubt caused.
How do I know they'll be such dicks?
Rewind about 10 weeks. I ordered a set of dishes of Amazon. These dishes we're super pretty, and I waited by the door for them for 1-3 business days. When I got them, SURPRISE! One was shattered into about 100 pieces. So, I called to complain. Guess what?!?!?! Once it leaves the warehouse, it's no longer their responsibility! How cool is that?!?!?! So now if I have 2 people over at our house for dessert, one of them will have to eat off a Disney princess napkin, because I have no fourth dessert plate to offer them. For that, I apologize. To Amazon, I say "Fuck you".
7) Lucky number 7, event invites on facebook.
I don't know you. Maybe we met a party 4 years ago and you opened my can of Sprite for me. Maybe you shook my hand at an outdoor concert 2 summers ago. Maybe I saw you this one time at this guy's house, and we didn't make physical or verbal contact then, or ever. All systems go, invite me to your crappy event.
I don't know you, or at least I don't know you well enough to want to come to your cocaine and cocktails birthday bash at a club I wouldn't go to if it was lined with 50s and marshmallow spread. Why is it so important that I attend? Will it just make your night to see my cynical, unimpressed face in a corner for 15 minutes before I inevitably escape to the deli across the street and eat away the memories of a shitty night? Come on. I think the worst, is when I get invited to something that I have ZERO interest in, and no affiliation with.
So and so wants to invite you to his OFF DA HOOK HIP HOP MINISKIRT AND 29$ DRINK PARTY! Why would he/she want to do that? Last I checked I wasn't any of the following:
-Into hip hop, rap, techno, metal, new wave, or house
-A whore
-A millionaire
-Owner of way too much bronzer
-Wearer of fluorescent heels
-The type of girl who pouts her lips and does a little piece sign thing in every single picture.
-Someone who wants to be tagged in an album full of people just like the ones previously mentioned.
I'm married. I'm boring. I like to stay home and watch CSI marathons on SpikeTV. I don't enjoy the taste of alcohol. My shoes are actually really cute. I never listen to music, and when I do, it's because my husband can't drive unless I'm going deaf. I'm not photogenic, I don't like being in a room that reeks of spilled vodka, sweat, and Ralph by Ralph Lauren. My idea of a good time is not grinding my posterior into a man's pelvic region to induce an erection and call it "dancing". I'm lame, but I'd rather stay home and watch Mortal Combat with cuffy and strut around in my hello kitty pyjamas and fluffy slippers. So please, don't invite me to your stupid parties. Unless I know you, like you, would actually go to this place, or have nothing better to do, I can guarantee you, I will click "no". Not even "Maybe" to give you a faint hope that perhaps I will grace your overpriced sweat brothel with my presence. I'm obviously far too kind. So, LEAVE ME ALONE.
Oh also, I don't want to join your Zombie Army, send you fake cocktails, or post daily quotes from gossip girl on my page. So to save yourself time, energy, and lack of self respect, don't bother asking me to.
It is 4:30pm and I am satisfied with the productivity of my afternoon. I hope this proved to be informative, educational, and entertaining. Feel free to leave me alone and keep your lame opinion to yourself. I get enough hate mail on InkedNation.
Regards,
Vendetta Suicide
Let me be the first to tell you that I don't care where you stand on these issues, just know that the following arguments are my PERSONAL opinion and in no way reflect the opinions of any of the following:
-Canadians
-Army wives
-Italians
-The olive skinned
-Women with 11 siblings in-law
-Residents of Quebec
-20 year old Virgos
- People who don't eat Jell-o
-And anything else that I am and you may not necessarily happen to be.
Shall I begin?
(Remember, my opinion, not yours. This is done solely for entertainment purposes and is in no way an attempt to start a personal war of "who's keyboard can create the best counter arguments and or who is more intimidating when using the CAPS lock button.")
1) Sarah Palin.
It is shocking for some to see this first argument. I have at several points in time, made clear my conservative beliefs, and political opinions. I DID vote for Stephen Harper, the Canadian alternative for a Republican President, and therefore, support many of his foreign policies, religious convictions, pro life campaign, and support for the global war on terror. Being married to an American, it was natural for me to have a slight bias for the Republican Party, i.e., John McCain. As my husband has said before, as people involved in the military (active duty, spouses, etc), it is easier to bestow your trust in a man who has served, and spent time as a P.O.W., then someone who has not. Clearly, this is a man who understands military needs.
Step right up running mate and mother of the year, Sarah Palin. To see this woman run along side a man I respect and once supported is heartbreaking. This is a woman who believes that Global Warming is no fault of mankind. This is a woman, who votes against funding for sexually educating adolescents (karma's a bitch). We are talking about a woman who blatantly compared herself to a vicious and in some cases uncontrollable breed of dog.
What really set me off was her strategy. Her way of gaining respect from the American people is to sling mud at the Democratic Party. This is no way to show Democrats how powerful a leader a republican can be. It's childish and self demeaning. I won't get into the "bridge to nowhere" story but let's just say someone is 33 million dollars richer and has nothing to show for it. How could anyone call themselves a republican, support the Bush administration, become a politician, and campaign for VICE PRESIDENT of the United States of America, and not know what the Bush doctrine is?!?! Come on, I'm French Canadian and even I had the answer to that question. She could have at least googled it prior to the interview.
Let's face it McCain is no spring chicken. The man is old, to put it bluntly. If God forbid John McCain was no longer able to physically carry out the duties of a leader of one of the world's Superpowers, someone else would have to take his place. Step right up Sarah Palin. With my husband in the military (and converting to another branch), as well as the spouses of many of my friends, and other men and women alike, the last thing I could ever want for any of them, is to see her become the Commander in chief. This woman knows about as much as I do when it comes to commanding over 600 000 men and women willing to give their lives for their Country. I know very little about how the Military works, and unfortunately, the same goes for Sarah Palin.
This to say I disagree with many of the things said about Republicans on shows like:
-The Colbert Report (which I love, regardless)
-MSNBC
-The View
-Anything other than Fox News
However, every time I hear this woman speak, I see why the mainstream media thinks so little of Republicans. Every word that comes out of her mouth is fuel (or a natural gas pipeline-(woo-hoo)) for left wing journalists all over the continent to criticize her, and unfortunately, John McCain as well. The woman is a moron. Her voice irritates me, her face, her faux beehive ponytail, the fact that we wear the same glasses, and her horrible taste in names for her children (Although Trig, Track, and Bristol are unique...to say the least). Case closed.
2) One particular republican ad campaign.
As I said, I support the republican government and I think John McCain is a swell guy, until I saw one of his ads. It basically said: Obama wants to teach children about sex in kindergarten. That horrified me, so, I did some research. Turns out Obama wants to have programs warning children at the elementary level about the dangers of sexual predators. A little bit of a truth stretch on the republican side. That's not to say Obama hasn't said things himself, or that some of the accusations against him are in fact true. That particular accusation, kind of disgusted me a smidgen. For shame.
On a few lighter notes:
3) Nanny 911!
I am all about disciplining misbehaving children. Tonight, however, I saw an episode of Nanny 911! that made me want to reach into the TV and shake the mother until she stopped moving. Let me set the scene.
-Family of 4. Daughter 9, son 5, parents both morons. The son wasn't too bad...typical little boy, liked to run around and make noise. HOWEVER, the daughter was a nightmare. This little girl was free to tell her parents to shut up, called them stupid, idiots, hit them, yelled them, screamed at the top of her lungs, THREW THINGS AT THEM, etc. How did the parents react? The Dad tried to calm her down, which is good, but the mother? Wow. She would cry when her daughter got angry. Not out of frustration, out of EMPATHY. She felt sorry that her little girl was "upset". This child did not get scolded or disciplined for the lack of respect she showed her parents. She got rewarded. 9 years old, with a TV in her room (a room she never has to clean) who beats the ever loving shit out of her little brother, and gets away with it on a daily basis.
Enter Nanny Deb. What I hate most about this show is that the parents sign up for the show, admitting that they need help and that they are at the end of their ropes. Why do I hate this? Because as soon as the Nanny starts making rules, the parents ignore them, and insist that they know better and the nanny is "Overstepping her boundaries". Are you kidding me? Like you're doing such a swell job. Next time you need parenting advice, talk to Sarah Palin.
Why does this get me so riled up? I'll tell you why. My parents were firm disciplinarians. I was a hell raiser. I mean, I was bad. I yelled, threw tantrums, and beat on the other kids at Pre School. Yet, what sets me apart from the Nanny 911! children, is that I NEVER EVER disrespected my parents.
In my 20 years of living I have never:
-Called either of my parents a name
-Cussed at them
-Refused their affection
-Confused our roles
-Refused to do my chores.
Why? Because if I did any of those things, I would get sent away to bible camp, forbidden to color in my coloring book, and worst of all, my mother would say "Honey, you are hurting Mommy right now, and if you don't stop, her heart is going to break, just like Elvis". I now know that Elvis didn't die of a broken heart, but that's beside the point. The idea of hurting my mother, or losing her, destroyed me. I LOVED (and still do) my mother dearly. Even when she wasn't around, which was often. When she actually was around, I treasured the time I had with her. I was rarely hugged, tucked in, read to, played with, or acknowledged as a child. The last thing I needed was to feel that final kind of isolation.
These kids are handed everything, and they are happy making their parents cry, and disrespecting them. I would have KILLED for my mother to take me to the park. I would have given anything for her to play barbies with me. I would have loved to have been raised by my mother and not by a Nanny for 10 years of my life. I never got to truly know my parents, and they never got to truly know me. I will never make the mistake of having someone else raise my children, as my parents did. For that, the families of Nanny 911! are worthy of one of my rants. Those kids don't know what it's like to have parents who don't care, and don't see how truly lucky they are. The grass is most certainly not greener on the other side.
4) The Catholic Church.
I was raised Catholic. My husband is Catholic. We come from a long line of practicing Catholics. Although there is an endless list of things the Catholic Church does wrong, I choose to focus on one. Money.
I got married in a Courthouse on a Wednesday afternoon, with no family or friends around. We had a party later that week at a bowling alley. For our families, that just wouldn't cut it. So, my mother has begun the rigorous planning of a traditional Italian wedding to take place next fall. Here's where the magic happens.
The church, charges 800$ for the 30 minute ceremony. Also, the church charges 100$ for the aisle carpet. Furthermore, the church demands a "voluntary" donation of 50$. All of this does not include flowers, which will be an additional 1000$. So far, the church is asking for 950$. Already, that is pretty ridiculous, but, it gets better. Today, I received a letter in the mail, saying that cuffy and I MUST attend pre-marital classes. Three to be exact. The cost? 100$ a class. 300$ total. Why should I take a class telling me how to be married, when I already am? Why should a priest, who is single, tell me what my marriage should be? Why should I have to sit through lectures about the damnation caused by birth control, and how we shouldn't sleep with our in-laws? That's ridiculous. 1250$, for something we paid 20$ to have done a year and a half prior.
I am so disgusted by how the Catholic Church exploits its followers for everything they have. On top of everything, they pass the collection basket around TWICE at the ceremony. 250 guests, let's say 200 at the church. 5$ each, 1000$ for the church. 2250$. I must admit it's a lucrative business, but it almost sickens me. The Catholic priest is the only one I see rolling up to work in a Benz. The only religious worker I see wearing a Rolex to mass. Catholic nuns are forced to take a vow of poverty when they become nuns. This means no personal property. No salary. Double standard? Maybe? I think so.
5) The cheese whiz commercial.
I'll keep this short and sweet. This particular commercial shows us all the fun things we can do with cheese whiz. My favourite? You can melt it, and *drum roll* USE IT AS A PASTA SAUCE. I'm sorry but that is the trashiest, most disgusting, and personally insulting violation of perfectly good food. Do people actually do that? Do people melt cheese whiz and call it Alfredo? Seriously? Why not just put ketchup on your spaghetti and call yourself a French Canadian.
6) Amazon. com
I ordered season 1 of army wives, 5 days ago. I paid extra for faster shipping. Said shipping states that my DVDs should arrive in 4-6 business days. This is important to me, because I have already watched Six feet under, and Dexter, and now need to waste away precious brain matter on some more quality television. Why so glum, Vendetta? Well my enthralled cyber friends, I shall tell you.
Monday, I got an email from Amazon saying my item should arrive on October 1st. Why, there must be some mistake, I paid (rather, my husband paid) an extra 10$ so I wouldn't have to wait the full 12 business days. No mistake, we're just assholes who overcharge you and will make up some stupid excuse when you call to complain and in no way compensate you for the emotional and psychological damage they have no doubt caused.
How do I know they'll be such dicks?
Rewind about 10 weeks. I ordered a set of dishes of Amazon. These dishes we're super pretty, and I waited by the door for them for 1-3 business days. When I got them, SURPRISE! One was shattered into about 100 pieces. So, I called to complain. Guess what?!?!?! Once it leaves the warehouse, it's no longer their responsibility! How cool is that?!?!?! So now if I have 2 people over at our house for dessert, one of them will have to eat off a Disney princess napkin, because I have no fourth dessert plate to offer them. For that, I apologize. To Amazon, I say "Fuck you".
7) Lucky number 7, event invites on facebook.
I don't know you. Maybe we met a party 4 years ago and you opened my can of Sprite for me. Maybe you shook my hand at an outdoor concert 2 summers ago. Maybe I saw you this one time at this guy's house, and we didn't make physical or verbal contact then, or ever. All systems go, invite me to your crappy event.
I don't know you, or at least I don't know you well enough to want to come to your cocaine and cocktails birthday bash at a club I wouldn't go to if it was lined with 50s and marshmallow spread. Why is it so important that I attend? Will it just make your night to see my cynical, unimpressed face in a corner for 15 minutes before I inevitably escape to the deli across the street and eat away the memories of a shitty night? Come on. I think the worst, is when I get invited to something that I have ZERO interest in, and no affiliation with.
So and so wants to invite you to his OFF DA HOOK HIP HOP MINISKIRT AND 29$ DRINK PARTY! Why would he/she want to do that? Last I checked I wasn't any of the following:
-Into hip hop, rap, techno, metal, new wave, or house
-A whore
-A millionaire
-Owner of way too much bronzer
-Wearer of fluorescent heels
-The type of girl who pouts her lips and does a little piece sign thing in every single picture.
-Someone who wants to be tagged in an album full of people just like the ones previously mentioned.
I'm married. I'm boring. I like to stay home and watch CSI marathons on SpikeTV. I don't enjoy the taste of alcohol. My shoes are actually really cute. I never listen to music, and when I do, it's because my husband can't drive unless I'm going deaf. I'm not photogenic, I don't like being in a room that reeks of spilled vodka, sweat, and Ralph by Ralph Lauren. My idea of a good time is not grinding my posterior into a man's pelvic region to induce an erection and call it "dancing". I'm lame, but I'd rather stay home and watch Mortal Combat with cuffy and strut around in my hello kitty pyjamas and fluffy slippers. So please, don't invite me to your stupid parties. Unless I know you, like you, would actually go to this place, or have nothing better to do, I can guarantee you, I will click "no". Not even "Maybe" to give you a faint hope that perhaps I will grace your overpriced sweat brothel with my presence. I'm obviously far too kind. So, LEAVE ME ALONE.
Oh also, I don't want to join your Zombie Army, send you fake cocktails, or post daily quotes from gossip girl on my page. So to save yourself time, energy, and lack of self respect, don't bother asking me to.
It is 4:30pm and I am satisfied with the productivity of my afternoon. I hope this proved to be informative, educational, and entertaining. Feel free to leave me alone and keep your lame opinion to yourself. I get enough hate mail on InkedNation.
Regards,
Vendetta Suicide
Update.
So aside from silly drama, I'm fine.
My phone got shut off because I was getting charged for just having it on! Nuts,eh?
Not too much is new. I got my wedding dress, and wedding chucks. I had ballet slippers but they chewed up my heels so I replaced them with sneakers. It was a sad sad day. I'm living in Georgia now and patiently waiting for my love to come home to me. 16 more days. It's so surreal. I don't have a stick of furniture in my apartment. All I have is a whackload of Betsey Johnson dresses Morgan keeps buying me as a "thank you for moving to georgia and sweating your ass off on a daily basis" present. I love him.
I have little to nothing in common with anyone here except one of the army wives. She shares my love of couture and reality tv. She introduced me to jergens natural glow moisturizer. If I didn't have Morgan, I'd marry it.
Everyone here talks really funny and it makes me really homesick. It's amazing tanning weather and walmart is fantastic..but it sucks not being able to hop on the metro and go downtown like back home. Plus living off-post sucks pretty bad because I'm miles from civilization, I have to drive to get cigarettes...drive to the track to work out, drive to get food of any kind...there is literally NOTHING within reach. Convienience apparently was the last thing on their minds when they built this place. On the bright side........ MORGAN COMES HOME SOOOOOOON.
oh hey look blonde me
love me.
So aside from silly drama, I'm fine.
My phone got shut off because I was getting charged for just having it on! Nuts,eh?
Not too much is new. I got my wedding dress, and wedding chucks. I had ballet slippers but they chewed up my heels so I replaced them with sneakers. It was a sad sad day. I'm living in Georgia now and patiently waiting for my love to come home to me. 16 more days. It's so surreal. I don't have a stick of furniture in my apartment. All I have is a whackload of Betsey Johnson dresses Morgan keeps buying me as a "thank you for moving to georgia and sweating your ass off on a daily basis" present. I love him.
I have little to nothing in common with anyone here except one of the army wives. She shares my love of couture and reality tv. She introduced me to jergens natural glow moisturizer. If I didn't have Morgan, I'd marry it.
Everyone here talks really funny and it makes me really homesick. It's amazing tanning weather and walmart is fantastic..but it sucks not being able to hop on the metro and go downtown like back home. Plus living off-post sucks pretty bad because I'm miles from civilization, I have to drive to get cigarettes...drive to the track to work out, drive to get food of any kind...there is literally NOTHING within reach. Convienience apparently was the last thing on their minds when they built this place. On the bright side........ MORGAN COMES HOME SOOOOOOON.
oh hey look blonde me
love me.
I absolutely hate Alberta.
I hate nature.
I hate wilderness.
I hate that I am ALWAYS exhausted.
I hate how I left Montreal to come to an ENGLISH province, and that EVERYONE in this facility speaks French. They don't even TRYYYYY to learn English, and then they're shocked that no one will hire them. I hate it.
Also, apparently there's a big difference between a kiwi and an Aussie..but that's like saying you can taste the difference between filtered and tap : don't kid yourselves.
For serious though...I got bitched out by an aussie chick earlier today, hahaha. Best part? She asked me what part of the U.S I was from..and I'M not allowed to make the same mistake? Anus.
So back in Canmore I had....a "dispute" with a roommate which rendered me scarred for life. So what did I do? I moved 30 minutes away to Banff. What do I think of Banff so far? I loathe it. It's a few degrees above freezing. Everyone wears huge backpacks and fleece pullovers. A girl asked me if I got my Betsey Johnson bag at Ardene. A bottle of shampoo is 18$. People continuously walk by and read what I'm writing. You're gay. Get lost. Hey wow it worked...
I miss Morgan to the point of emotional exhaustion. I have no reception in the mountains so I never get his calls. I have so many errands to run all the time that I barely get to talk to him online. I got a package from him today filled with such incredible stuff. He wrote in a diary for like 2 weeks everyday and sent it to me, he gave me this little coin medal thing he got for excellence in combat, he gave me his sweater, about 50 packs of crystal light, a hot pink digital camera, the goonies, hook, pan's labyrinth, home videos of him, a swiss army knife type thing that everyone in Alberta seems to have...and now I have one too, and he made me a necklace which I instantly broke. There's other stuff but it was so overwhelmingly incredible that if I keep going I'll burst.
I miss shaine terribly. I also miss showering without worrying about creepy German kids spying on me.
Good news? I leave for Georgia saturday night. Then I spend a month killing time till I see my love..who leaves Iraq in 33 days. Arrives here in like..36, and marries me in 52. I need to shoot a set but there is a serious lack of photogs in Alberta. I guess I'll just do it in Georgia...*sigh*
I'm so tired I lost my train of thought.
I hate nature.
I hate wilderness.
I hate that I am ALWAYS exhausted.
I hate how I left Montreal to come to an ENGLISH province, and that EVERYONE in this facility speaks French. They don't even TRYYYYY to learn English, and then they're shocked that no one will hire them. I hate it.
Also, apparently there's a big difference between a kiwi and an Aussie..but that's like saying you can taste the difference between filtered and tap : don't kid yourselves.
For serious though...I got bitched out by an aussie chick earlier today, hahaha. Best part? She asked me what part of the U.S I was from..and I'M not allowed to make the same mistake? Anus.
So back in Canmore I had....a "dispute" with a roommate which rendered me scarred for life. So what did I do? I moved 30 minutes away to Banff. What do I think of Banff so far? I loathe it. It's a few degrees above freezing. Everyone wears huge backpacks and fleece pullovers. A girl asked me if I got my Betsey Johnson bag at Ardene. A bottle of shampoo is 18$. People continuously walk by and read what I'm writing. You're gay. Get lost. Hey wow it worked...
I miss Morgan to the point of emotional exhaustion. I have no reception in the mountains so I never get his calls. I have so many errands to run all the time that I barely get to talk to him online. I got a package from him today filled with such incredible stuff. He wrote in a diary for like 2 weeks everyday and sent it to me, he gave me this little coin medal thing he got for excellence in combat, he gave me his sweater, about 50 packs of crystal light, a hot pink digital camera, the goonies, hook, pan's labyrinth, home videos of him, a swiss army knife type thing that everyone in Alberta seems to have...and now I have one too, and he made me a necklace which I instantly broke. There's other stuff but it was so overwhelmingly incredible that if I keep going I'll burst.
I miss shaine terribly. I also miss showering without worrying about creepy German kids spying on me.
Good news? I leave for Georgia saturday night. Then I spend a month killing time till I see my love..who leaves Iraq in 33 days. Arrives here in like..36, and marries me in 52. I need to shoot a set but there is a serious lack of photogs in Alberta. I guess I'll just do it in Georgia...*sigh*
I'm so tired I lost my train of thought.
I JUST WATCHED PIRATES
And WOW! That was some quality watching. Thank you, youporn.
I'm not a janine fan..I find she has kind of a harsh face...but Jesse Jane? Wow. Just wow.
See this is what happens when your boyfriend is in another country, your best friend's in another province, and your vagina is in distress.
I won't go into details. I'm at work and my boss is lurky mclurkerson.
Sooooooo I went out last night. I've decided that Jager and I must part ways. It was a mutual decision and we left off on the best of terms. I couldn't take all those sleepless nights puking my brains out, waking up with blistering migraines, passing out in strange places. I made this decision last thursday when I took like 6 shots at once, calmly walked to the bathroom, and managed to throw up on the wall, on my leggingsm on my roomate's foot...but strangely, not in the toilet.
I found a new love. This love is tequila. Tequila never makes me sick. Tequila doesn't make me feel like my heart is melting. Tequila doesn't knock me out. Tequila doesn't hurt my head. All is does is make me wanna do dirty things to Morgan, make me dance around, make me brutally honest, and, makes me like Canmore.
Wow I sound like a raging alcoholic.
Anyway. 41 days till Morgan(cuffy) gets home. Well....until he leave Iraq. He gets home in 44 days. I see him in 45. I see shaine in 44 days. I get married in 60 days.
My dress still hasn't arrived yet. I have't ordered Morgan's ring yet. I haven't dyed my hair yet. But I dooooo have my slutty wedding lingerie!!! I'd post a picture but Morgan's a lurker. Speak of married suicide girls, I'll was lurking about Sid's profile and I have to say, She had the prettiest dress I have ever seen in my life. Not to mention she's also a military wife. Everyone go love her.
In true Vendetta fashion my reception is at a pub...my wedding cake is hello kitty ice cream cake. The cutlery is my little pony. The champagne is pink. The maid of honor is a fox (shaine). I plan on eating nachos. Lots of them.
OH BEFORE I FORGET. I have nothing to wear in my hair. I'm not wearing a veil or a tiara but I'm open to other suggestions...headbands, flowers, feathers, clips, bows, whatever. If you know of anywhere or see anything, please let me know. I already have my pink sequined ballet slippers, my pink crystal necklace, my pink 10g CBR hoops, and my make up. I lack hair accessories and some kind of purse.
So organized.
love
vendetta
And WOW! That was some quality watching. Thank you, youporn.
I'm not a janine fan..I find she has kind of a harsh face...but Jesse Jane? Wow. Just wow.
See this is what happens when your boyfriend is in another country, your best friend's in another province, and your vagina is in distress.
I won't go into details. I'm at work and my boss is lurky mclurkerson.
Sooooooo I went out last night. I've decided that Jager and I must part ways. It was a mutual decision and we left off on the best of terms. I couldn't take all those sleepless nights puking my brains out, waking up with blistering migraines, passing out in strange places. I made this decision last thursday when I took like 6 shots at once, calmly walked to the bathroom, and managed to throw up on the wall, on my leggingsm on my roomate's foot...but strangely, not in the toilet.
I found a new love. This love is tequila. Tequila never makes me sick. Tequila doesn't make me feel like my heart is melting. Tequila doesn't knock me out. Tequila doesn't hurt my head. All is does is make me wanna do dirty things to Morgan, make me dance around, make me brutally honest, and, makes me like Canmore.
Wow I sound like a raging alcoholic.
Anyway. 41 days till Morgan(cuffy) gets home. Well....until he leave Iraq. He gets home in 44 days. I see him in 45. I see shaine in 44 days. I get married in 60 days.
My dress still hasn't arrived yet. I have't ordered Morgan's ring yet. I haven't dyed my hair yet. But I dooooo have my slutty wedding lingerie!!! I'd post a picture but Morgan's a lurker. Speak of married suicide girls, I'll was lurking about Sid's profile and I have to say, She had the prettiest dress I have ever seen in my life. Not to mention she's also a military wife. Everyone go love her.
In true Vendetta fashion my reception is at a pub...my wedding cake is hello kitty ice cream cake. The cutlery is my little pony. The champagne is pink. The maid of honor is a fox (shaine). I plan on eating nachos. Lots of them.
OH BEFORE I FORGET. I have nothing to wear in my hair. I'm not wearing a veil or a tiara but I'm open to other suggestions...headbands, flowers, feathers, clips, bows, whatever. If you know of anywhere or see anything, please let me know. I already have my pink sequined ballet slippers, my pink crystal necklace, my pink 10g CBR hoops, and my make up. I lack hair accessories and some kind of purse.
So organized.
love
vendetta
OCTOBER 2008
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