it's my birthday.
love me.

married.

Update.

So aside from silly drama, I'm fine.

My phone got shut off because I was getting charged for just having it on! Nuts,eh?

Not too much is new. I got my wedding dress, and wedding chucks. I had ballet slippers but they chewed up my heels so I replaced them with sneakers. It was a sad sad day. I'm living in Georgia now and patiently waiting for my love to come home to me. 16 more days. It's so surreal. I don't have a stick of furniture in my apartment. All I have is a whackload of Betsey Johnson dresses Morgan keeps buying me as a "thank you for moving to georgia and sweating your ass off on a daily basis" present. I love him.

I have little to nothing in common with anyone here except one of the army wives. She shares my love of couture and reality tv. She introduced me to jergens natural glow moisturizer. If I didn't have Morgan, I'd marry it.

Everyone here talks really funny and it makes me really homesick. It's amazing tanning weather and walmart is fantastic..but it sucks not being able to hop on the metro and go downtown like back home. Plus living off-post sucks pretty bad because I'm miles from civilization, I have to drive to get cigarettes...drive to the track to work out, drive to get food of any kind...there is literally NOTHING within reach. Convienience apparently was the last thing on their minds when they built this place. On the bright side........ MORGAN COMES HOME SOOOOOOON.

oh hey look blonde me

love me.

I absolutely hate Alberta.
I hate nature.
I hate wilderness.
I hate that I am ALWAYS exhausted.
I hate how I left Montreal to come to an ENGLISH province, and that EVERYONE in this facility speaks French. They don't even TRYYYYY to learn English, and then they're shocked that no one will hire them. I hate it.
Also, apparently there's a big difference between a kiwi and an Aussie..but that's like saying you can taste the difference between filtered and tap : don't kid yourselves.

For serious though...I got bitched out by an aussie chick earlier today, hahaha. Best part? She asked me what part of the U.S I was from..and I'M not allowed to make the same mistake? Anus.

So back in Canmore I had....a "dispute" with a roommate which rendered me scarred for life. So what did I do? I moved 30 minutes away to Banff. What do I think of Banff so far? I loathe it. It's a few degrees above freezing. Everyone wears huge backpacks and fleece pullovers. A girl asked me if I got my Betsey Johnson bag at Ardene. A bottle of shampoo is 18$. People continuously walk by and read what I'm writing. You're gay. Get lost. Hey wow it worked...

I miss Morgan to the point of emotional exhaustion. I have no reception in the mountains so I never get his calls. I have so many errands to run all the time that I barely get to talk to him online. I got a package from him today filled with such incredible stuff. He wrote in a diary for like 2 weeks everyday and sent it to me, he gave me this little coin medal thing he got for excellence in combat, he gave me his sweater, about 50 packs of crystal light, a hot pink digital camera, the goonies, hook, pan's labyrinth, home videos of him, a swiss army knife type thing that everyone in Alberta seems to have...and now I have one too, and he made me a necklace which I instantly broke. There's other stuff but it was so overwhelmingly incredible that if I keep going I'll burst.

I miss shaine terribly. I also miss showering without worrying about creepy German kids spying on me.

Good news? I leave for Georgia saturday night. Then I spend a month killing time till I see my love..who leaves Iraq in 33 days. Arrives here in like..36, and marries me in 52. I need to shoot a set but there is a serious lack of photogs in Alberta. I guess I'll just do it in Georgia...*sigh*

I'm so tired I lost my train of thought.

I JUST WATCHED PIRATES

And WOW! That was some quality watching. Thank you, youporn.

I'm not a janine fan..I find she has kind of a harsh face...but Jesse Jane? Wow. Just wow.

See this is what happens when your boyfriend is in another country, your best friend's in another province, and your vagina is in distress.

I won't go into details. I'm at work and my boss is lurky mclurkerson.

Sooooooo I went out last night. I've decided that Jager and I must part ways. It was a mutual decision and we left off on the best of terms. I couldn't take all those sleepless nights puking my brains out, waking up with blistering migraines, passing out in strange places. I made this decision last thursday when I took like 6 shots at once, calmly walked to the bathroom, and managed to throw up on the wall, on my leggingsm on my roomate's foot...but strangely, not in the toilet.

I found a new love. This love is tequila. Tequila never makes me sick. Tequila doesn't make me feel like my heart is melting. Tequila doesn't knock me out. Tequila doesn't hurt my head. All is does is make me wanna do dirty things to Morgan, make me dance around, make me brutally honest, and, makes me like Canmore.

Wow I sound like a raging alcoholic.

Anyway. 41 days till Morgan(cuffy) gets home. Well....until he leave Iraq. He gets home in 44 days. I see him in 45. I see shaine in 44 days. I get married in 60 days.

My dress still hasn't arrived yet. I have't ordered Morgan's ring yet. I haven't dyed my hair yet. But I dooooo have my slutty wedding lingerie!!! I'd post a picture but Morgan's a lurker. Speak of married suicide girls, I'll was lurking about Sid's profile and I have to say, She had the prettiest dress I have ever seen in my life. Not to mention she's also a military wife. Everyone go love her.

In true Vendetta fashion my reception is at a pub...my wedding cake is hello kitty ice cream cake. The cutlery is my little pony. The champagne is pink. The maid of honor is a fox (shaine). I plan on eating nachos. Lots of them.

OH BEFORE I FORGET. I have nothing to wear in my hair. I'm not wearing a veil or a tiara but I'm open to other suggestions...headbands, flowers, feathers, clips, bows, whatever. If you know of anywhere or see anything, please let me know. I already have my pink sequined ballet slippers, my pink crystal necklace, my pink 10g CBR hoops, and my make up. I lack hair accessories and some kind of purse.

So organized.

love
vendetta

I hate it here.
It sucks so bad not having shaine at my house everyday like before. All I really ever do is watch trailer park boys and the office, and eat. There are no photographers that I know of in the area so I have no idea when or how I'm gonna shoot my next set.

That's not even the point of this blog. I need advice, I'm going crazy.

My boyfriend's got another 51 days in Iraq and lately it seems like all he does is say the wrong thing and all I do is make him feel like shit. I don't understand it. I'm not like this ever. I know he's stressed and I know it sucks for him to be out there because of how badly he misses me, but at the same time, I'm losing my mind. Nothing sucks more than seeing couples together every single day. Couples who don't ever appreciate each other. Here I see couples fighting over nothing and how badly it pisses me off, and I'm doing the same thing.

All I want is for this war to be over and for Morgan to come back. I would give anything. There are times where he says things that hurt me but I shake it off, because we have such limited time to talk to each other and I don't wanna waste it fighting. I'm just scared that at one point I'm gonna blow up at him and that's the last thing he needs. The worst part is I have no one to talk to about it. All I can do is call shaine back in Montreal and cry in her ear for an hour...and even then I feel like complete shit. The poor girl has the same shit to worry about and I don't wanna overload her with my problems.

Over here I can't really talk to anyone about it. My guy roomate is really passive..and a guy. The last thing I wanna do is be all like "bla bla bla my life sucks bla bla". My girl roomate and me never really ever get any time to talk. We talk when we're drunk and then I don't remember any of the advice that she gives me. I never thought I'd end up blogging about this but I have so much shit running around in my head that I just need to get it all out at once. I don't wanna fight with him. I have no idea what to do. All I want is for us to be happy and cheesy all the time like we usually are. We've had 2 fights in the entire span of our dating, both times they were resolved within an hour. Lately though it's not even fights. It's like...he says something and I either let is slide and get moody, or I call him out on it and he apologizes and I feel like a big bitch for upsetting him where he is. I love this man more than you could ever even fathom. I know this is just stress. He's been there over a year and I need to be more understanding of that. At the same time I don't want it to be like a get out of jail free card...like he can say anything and I should ignore how it makes me feel because he's stressed. Is that selfish? I feel like it's selfish.

The worst part is now that i have my head all cleared up and I think I know what needs to be said, I have no idea where he is. This is another one of those days where i won't hear from him all day and have to refrain from losing my mind. Reasons why I don't hear from him:

-Blackout (someone died)
-The cafe is closed
-Sandstorm
-Super ultra long gay mission
-Passed out
-Can't recharge his pin

And now I feel a little better. I don't want you to read this and think that me and Morgan have a bad relationship; we don't. I cross the border just to mail him packages full of toys. I write him love letters on Hello Kitty stationary. He sends me flowers every month on our anniversary, and a present in the middle of every month. He calls me just to tell me how in love with me he is. He constantly makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I sleep with the teddy bear he sent me every single night. I have never taken his dog tags off. I wear his army t shirt out in public even though it makes me look haggard.

So he just called me and I feel a million times better. I don't know if I'll mention anything today. I need advice!!!

I love him, he loves me, we're getting married in 70 days (heeeheehee)
but still, I'm losing my mind.

I have the thickest Canadian accent
I only realised this when I started making fun of people here in Canmore, Alberta, and realised they speak the same way I do.

Aside from that, there isn't much to do in Canmore. There's drinking, watching Trailer Park Boys, and eating.
That's it.
My roomates are pretty sweet for the most part.
Except one of them smokes way too much pot and it makes the bathroom smell really fucking gross.

So yeah..other than that I haven't been doing too many piercings so I've decided to pierce myself in my spare time. Hence the gauged ears and additional nose ring..I may pierce my lip or something..dunno how crazy I'm feeling.

56 DAYS TILL MORGAN COMES HOME!!!! Yay!!!!
Which means like... 74 days till I get married.


I miss Shaine so much right now. I hate being so far away from her. Life without cuffy and shaine really sucks hardcore. But I'm pretty much in love with my girl roomate who is sitting right next to me right now eating macaroni salad.

Well gotta go, time to get tattooed.
I love you all very much.


-vendetta

Prepare to congratulate me, or be jealous and judgemental.
I'm getting married on July 26th!
That's right boys and girls, in 3 months I will be officially off the market for the rest of my natural born life!
My boy comes home to me in exactly 78 days, it's now official that he leaves Iraq between the 9th and 16th of July. Giving us a minimum of 10 days to throw together some magic. The lovely shaine suicide will be acting as my maid of honor, so expect a slew of pictures.

I am the luckiest woman on the face of the earth.

So that shaine will stop bitching at me like a swindled hooker, I will blog about Plattsburgh (as she glares at me).

As you know I'm Canadian. My boyfriend is American. In order to mail a package to him in the army and have it cost as little as possible, I had to cross the border. Who was the person who decided she would swoop me off to New York? Shaine Suicide.

So she gets to my house at the ass crack of dawn (9am) on Saturday morning. After yelling at me to hurry my ass up, and talking to my boyfriend on the phone about what a retard I am, we left.

We stop at a buttfuck gas station and ask for directions. I'm surprised we didn't get gutted. We had no trouble crossing the border. We claimed to be going to a children's birthday party on "Miller Street". So sly.

Finally, after lots of Metallica, Bad Religion, and the Craft soundtrack, we arrive. We get lost...once there. So I flag down an SUV and ask for directions. They ask why I'm driving across the border to mail a package. I tell them why. They are so touched and patriotic that they drive us all the way there

Downtown Plattsburgh consists of a Walmart, a post office, and several seedy motels. Shaine insists that I tell you about how sexy the inhabitants were. TAN. Tan suits are big there. Cuordroy? Even better. We made fun of EVERYONE. Walmart? Epic. I have never seen so much stuff in my life. There are like...bible acticity games in the same aisle you can get your singing american flag counter tops. Baffling. Incredible. We bought lots of useless crap and it only came out to 50$. What a country.

The women....where do I start?
How to build a New England bombshell:
-1 part fleece pullover
-2 parts damaged hair
-1 part scrunchie
-6 parts really bad make up
- a dash of tapered jeans
-sprinkle a bad accent
-glaze with patriotism
-cook for 40 years in the middle of nowhere.

tada! mmm mmm good.
Seriously. We now understand why Americans rant and rave about canadian women. We're fucking BABES.
There are hot american gals, no doubt, but for some reason, on the border...it's not happening so much.

Shaine is such a good driver, that we got a speeding ticket! Yay! It's not her fault though...she was doing pretty good considering she was speeding, steering with her elbows, and eating crispers..and drinking gatorade. In her defence, if I hadn't mentioned the state trooper behind us, she would have never even known. Until she got pulled over.

We played the dumb Canadian card. She got a sheet saying she owed New York 50$ instead of 300, and it would appear no where on her driving record. Ka ching.

Getting back into Canada was a salted whore. They were a lot meaner. I guess everyone's fucking dying to be Canadian.

We would have extended our adventure but we really needed to poo and refused to use American toilets. I blame them for the abundance of cellulite in the direct vicinity of us at all times in Walmart. It's gotta be that.....or maybe the 94 different fast food restaurants on the same block. Who knows.

God bless America!

vendetta and shaine

NOTE: we love americans. I'm sleeping with an American, and marrying an American, thus making me, an American....This was all to say that New England is gross. We love you.