So sorry you've been down, hun. Remember, even at your worst, a forced fake smile still causes the body to release endorphins and elevate your mood. I try that when I'm blue.
I am sooo sorry to hear that the past few days have been hell for you, if you need an ear, I am very available anytime you need me, please try to keep your head up babygirl, everything will be okay, peace, love, blessed be!!