PICS
I feel as though a blog is in order, mainly to thank ALL of you for your wonderful comments on my set 
You guys really know how to make a girl blush! I wish I had a computer that I could access more often to get back to all of your lovely messages, comments, questions, etc. I promise someday I will!!!
Lots has happened in the past couple weeks, between my set coming out, and other turning points in my life. I moved out and in with my dad again. I'd rather not get into details merely out of respect for others, but someday when things are a bit settled I'll be sure to elaborate.
Thank you guys again for all of your support
You guys really know how to make a girl blush! I wish I had a computer that I could access more often to get back to all of your lovely messages, comments, questions, etc. I promise someday I will!!! Lots has happened in the past couple weeks, between my set coming out, and other turning points in my life. I moved out and in with my dad again. I'd rather not get into details merely out of respect for others, but someday when things are a bit settled I'll be sure to elaborate.
Thank you guys again for all of your support
HELLO KITTY KATS!
My set goes up in fiiiiiiiiiiive fucking hours, and I will be Z'ing in bed.
I'm pretty pumped though!
Sooo....
in other news. in the past week or so. I worked and learned, learned, learned. I've cried, I've fought, I've hated myself and loved myself. I have eaten Sour Patch Kid after Sour Patch Kid. I've smoked bowl after bowl. I've made new friends. Real keepers. I've strengthened existing bonds. Vinyl_ especially. I name drop her every chance I get. I attended an event that was pretty out of my element for me. Lots of people, in a bar, very very intimidating.
Actually I'd like to pause for a sec to talk about that. I am not socially anxious in a number of situations. I can feel comfortable walking up to someone and introducing myself without hesitation in an open, and more one-on-one situation. I can reveal myself completely to someone I don't even know, if I feel comfortable. But in situations where it's a party, or a lot of people in general are involved...even if I know EVERYONE...it feels suffocating. Like all the walls are closing in on me. It panicks me. Literally. I was at this event for over three hours, and felt like I was holding my breath at least 83% of that three hours. And the more people that surround me, the more alone I seem to feel. I wish I could get over this thing about myself, but I can't complain too much because I've come a long way with my social issues.
On the other hand, I'm having an easy time making great connections with people, and it's my favorite thing.
Also, I've been noticing things about myself, too. I tend to make a lot of connections to people that are probably fairly misunderstood. I always have. I think I gravitate towards them instantly because they interest me the most. I feel like a lot of people would consider these people problematic, but to me they are full of life.
I like people that make mistakes. I like people that do things impulsively and with passion, even if those things are fucked up...even if they effect ME negatively.
People think I get fucked over. Oh, I do. And I do get upset about it. But I get the fuck over it right away. Why? Because who the fuck cares. We're all humans here. We all shit, we all piss and cry, and fuck, and fuck other people over intentionally and unintentionally alike, we all fucking LIVE. I just don't care. It's pretty hard to lose me forever once I'm in your life. And I hate to have enemies even if they're appropriate to have. I do not like to judge people, even though I unintentionally will more often than I care for. But, when I have means of controlling it, I do. I do not like to call other girls sluts and whores 98% of the time. I do not like to call people weird and when I have, it left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel terrible when I do not live by this. I feel terrible when I say I hate someone.
Tomorrow I could die. Tomorrow anyone I know or EVERYONE I know could die. I just don't want to waste my fucking time arguing or hating shit. This is how I see things: if I would cry if that person died, should I spend what might be my last moments here fighting with them?
I just feel this way.
I had a lot of good talks today. It was refreshing. I saw my dog's waggy tail, and I saw my mother dearest. I made plans to see my best friend who I barely EVER get to see. I ate something delicious, I listened to good music.... I spent time outside just to be outside because I can't fucking stand being inside anymore.
I dyed my hair. Just a brighter hue of my natural shade.
I rocked at pool today, and that never happens.
weeeelllll..............I don't know what else say. But I hope you all enjoy my set, and I'll be in touch
meeeeeow!
My set goes up in fiiiiiiiiiiive fucking hours, and I will be Z'ing in bed.
I'm pretty pumped though!
Sooo....
in other news. in the past week or so. I worked and learned, learned, learned. I've cried, I've fought, I've hated myself and loved myself. I have eaten Sour Patch Kid after Sour Patch Kid. I've smoked bowl after bowl. I've made new friends. Real keepers. I've strengthened existing bonds. Vinyl_ especially.
I name drop her every chance I get. I attended an event that was pretty out of my element for me. Lots of people, in a bar, very very intimidating. Actually I'd like to pause for a sec to talk about that. I am not socially anxious in a number of situations. I can feel comfortable walking up to someone and introducing myself without hesitation in an open, and more one-on-one situation. I can reveal myself completely to someone I don't even know, if I feel comfortable. But in situations where it's a party, or a lot of people in general are involved...even if I know EVERYONE...it feels suffocating. Like all the walls are closing in on me. It panicks me. Literally. I was at this event for over three hours, and felt like I was holding my breath at least 83% of that three hours. And the more people that surround me, the more alone I seem to feel. I wish I could get over this thing about myself, but I can't complain too much because I've come a long way with my social issues.
On the other hand, I'm having an easy time making great connections with people, and it's my favorite thing.
Also, I've been noticing things about myself, too. I tend to make a lot of connections to people that are probably fairly misunderstood. I always have. I think I gravitate towards them instantly because they interest me the most. I feel like a lot of people would consider these people problematic, but to me they are full of life.
I like people that make mistakes. I like people that do things impulsively and with passion, even if those things are fucked up...even if they effect ME negatively.
People think I get fucked over. Oh, I do. And I do get upset about it. But I get the fuck over it right away. Why? Because who the fuck cares. We're all humans here. We all shit, we all piss and cry, and fuck, and fuck other people over intentionally and unintentionally alike, we all fucking LIVE. I just don't care. It's pretty hard to lose me forever once I'm in your life. And I hate to have enemies even if they're appropriate to have. I do not like to judge people, even though I unintentionally will more often than I care for. But, when I have means of controlling it, I do. I do not like to call other girls sluts and whores 98% of the time. I do not like to call people weird and when I have, it left a bad taste in my mouth. I feel terrible when I do not live by this. I feel terrible when I say I hate someone.
Tomorrow I could die. Tomorrow anyone I know or EVERYONE I know could die. I just don't want to waste my fucking time arguing or hating shit. This is how I see things: if I would cry if that person died, should I spend what might be my last moments here fighting with them?
I just feel this way.
I had a lot of good talks today. It was refreshing. I saw my dog's waggy tail, and I saw my mother dearest. I made plans to see my best friend who I barely EVER get to see. I ate something delicious, I listened to good music.... I spent time outside just to be outside because I can't fucking stand being inside anymore.
I dyed my hair. Just a brighter hue of my natural shade.
I rocked at pool today, and that never happens.
weeeelllll..............I don't know what else say. But I hope you all enjoy my set, and I'll be in touch
meeeeeow!
Hi guys! I don't have a lot to say at the moment because I actually can't hang around for too long... Vinyl_ and myself are off to a "prom dress fashion show" that we agreed to do for a friend. haha, yow!
Basically, i just wanted to take a moment out to show my appreciation for all the lovely ladies that have sets out right now
[click the pics for awesomeness]
First and foremost...if you haven't seen Pilot's new set yet, you better get your freaking tush over to it right MEOW...it's the cutest thing since baby cheetahs
and while we are lovin' on the ever so talented Alissa's work, let's take a moment to appreciate the adorable Casanova's new set
and ZOMG! Glitch! she never disappoints
please stay tuned for more hotness!
Basically, i just wanted to take a moment out to show my appreciation for all the lovely ladies that have sets out right now
[click the pics for awesomeness]
First and foremost...if you haven't seen Pilot's new set yet, you better get your freaking tush over to it right MEOW...it's the cutest thing since baby cheetahs
and while we are lovin' on the ever so talented Alissa's work, let's take a moment to appreciate the adorable Casanova's new set
and ZOMG! Glitch! she never disappoints
please stay tuned for more hotness!
I was just bouncing around the Hopefuls group, giving some helpful suggestions and it made me think about my journey on SG over the past two years.
When I shot my first set with my friend Megan two years ago, I never realized how much really goes into a good set. I have learned so much along the way, and it's interesting how many different experiences I've had.
I realized today that I've shot with four different photographers for SG, and every one of them had a different way of doing things. Then I remembered the photographer I shot with at the tattoo shop that I get all my work done at, and felt a little salty. The only photographer that I ever paid, and I didn't even get a finished product from her.
The whole experience sucked, really. She came ill prepared with no good lighting or anything. She used the UV lights that the shop had which left me pale and overexposed in almost all the shots she took of me. She wasn't friendly, and she constantly was talking over me, so I had trouble discussing any of the set details with her, or asking her questions (since I was such a newbie at that point, and had a LOT of them). She had me pose with a bottle of booze, despite the fact that I kept telling her that I don't drink, and that the set was supposed to reflect ME and my personality. My body looked distorted in half the shots...like I was in a funhouse. Her computer broke, apparently, mid-edit of my set, and she gave it to me unfinished. I tried to coordinate with her and ask if I could have the originals so that I could have it edited elsewhere, but she refused. The editing she had already done was terrible.
Before I had even shot with her, I had sent her all the information from SG for the photographic requirements, and told her to look it through before she even agreed to it, to make sure she was up for all that work, and that she understood what they expected. She replied "Come on, I've been a photographer for [blank] years and I know how to use photoshop mmkay?" or something to that effect. Then, later, after having shot my set, and me paying her, she shoots me an e-mail bitching about all the editing she realized she had to do when she finally read through the SG guidelines. "I didn't realize it was so extensive, blah blah blah, I should have charged you more for this"
WTF.
It was just a shitty experience, and a waste of my $100 considering I didn't even get to submit the set. I sent the set over to Anatomik and he sort of shook his head in disapproval at the quality and suggested I don't even waste my time submitting it because the quality was so bad.
The woman reamed me out, accusing me of expecting too much out of her and being a bitch about the situation (and I wasn't at all.... I was totally patient with her, despite how much BS she gave me) and pulled a high-school move and deleted me off of her myspace. Haha.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this experience, because seeing all these new hopefuls and the beginning of their journey, reminded me of the trials and tribulations I've been through so far.
I do reckon I've pulled out a couple great sets out of my experiences prior to my upcoming set, though.
(Uzumaki)
(Still Life)
all props to Anatomik for giving me that wonderful experience.
then I quit for awhile... and I never really expected to start again, until the very lovely Alissa offered me the opportunity, and I just couldn't pass it up. And I couldn't be more pleased to be back and getting naked for you kittens.
I can't fucking wait to hopefully rock your socks off in exactly two weeks from today. I hope that everything I had learned along the way paid off.
When I shot my first set with my friend Megan two years ago, I never realized how much really goes into a good set. I have learned so much along the way, and it's interesting how many different experiences I've had.
I realized today that I've shot with four different photographers for SG, and every one of them had a different way of doing things. Then I remembered the photographer I shot with at the tattoo shop that I get all my work done at, and felt a little salty. The only photographer that I ever paid, and I didn't even get a finished product from her.
The whole experience sucked, really. She came ill prepared with no good lighting or anything. She used the UV lights that the shop had which left me pale and overexposed in almost all the shots she took of me. She wasn't friendly, and she constantly was talking over me, so I had trouble discussing any of the set details with her, or asking her questions (since I was such a newbie at that point, and had a LOT of them). She had me pose with a bottle of booze, despite the fact that I kept telling her that I don't drink, and that the set was supposed to reflect ME and my personality. My body looked distorted in half the shots...like I was in a funhouse. Her computer broke, apparently, mid-edit of my set, and she gave it to me unfinished. I tried to coordinate with her and ask if I could have the originals so that I could have it edited elsewhere, but she refused. The editing she had already done was terrible.
Before I had even shot with her, I had sent her all the information from SG for the photographic requirements, and told her to look it through before she even agreed to it, to make sure she was up for all that work, and that she understood what they expected. She replied "Come on, I've been a photographer for [blank] years and I know how to use photoshop mmkay?" or something to that effect. Then, later, after having shot my set, and me paying her, she shoots me an e-mail bitching about all the editing she realized she had to do when she finally read through the SG guidelines. "I didn't realize it was so extensive, blah blah blah, I should have charged you more for this"
WTF.
It was just a shitty experience, and a waste of my $100 considering I didn't even get to submit the set. I sent the set over to Anatomik and he sort of shook his head in disapproval at the quality and suggested I don't even waste my time submitting it because the quality was so bad.
The woman reamed me out, accusing me of expecting too much out of her and being a bitch about the situation (and I wasn't at all.... I was totally patient with her, despite how much BS she gave me) and pulled a high-school move and deleted me off of her myspace. Haha.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this experience, because seeing all these new hopefuls and the beginning of their journey, reminded me of the trials and tribulations I've been through so far.
I do reckon I've pulled out a couple great sets out of my experiences prior to my upcoming set, though.
(Uzumaki)
(Still Life)
all props to Anatomik for giving me that wonderful experience.
then I quit for awhile... and I never really expected to start again, until the very lovely Alissa offered me the opportunity, and I just couldn't pass it up. And I couldn't be more pleased to be back and getting naked for you kittens.
I can't fucking wait to hopefully rock your socks off in exactly two weeks from today. I hope that everything I had learned along the way paid off.
*streeetch*
Alright. An up to date blog is due, and now's the perfect opportunity for me to write one being stuck at home sick and all. I woke up this morning drenched in sweat and with my eyes swollen and crusted shut...not a pretty sight. After sitting up for a bit and drinking some coffee I'm feeling a little bit better, though. I am just gonna take the rest of the day and evening easy so I can get back up on my feet tomorrow.
I hate missing work... I feel like I'm missing out on precious time that could be spent learning. So you know what I do when I don't feel well enough to even draw? I sit here and stare at my tattoos trying to pick apart the shading and lines, so that I can apply it to my work. Observe, observe, observe...that's what I'm spending most of my time doing. Not even just at tattoos, or tattoos being done, but at everything around me. The shapes and colors of the world around me. The way light hits certain objects, and the shadows that are cast upon others. I notice a change in my art, and so I hope it is helpful to tattooing as well.
At any rate. Disney World was a blast. Twas myself, my mother, and my brother.
That would be us at the "Sci-Fi Dine In Theatre"... an AWESOME restaurant that is like an indoor drive-in theatre...oh yeah, you even sit in these awesome cars
But you know... I could go on and on about my trip, so we'll start with some key photographs...
Another badass restaurant we ate at.
Me...drunk for the first time in a few years...wearing my MOTHER'S fugly bathing suit. I forgot mine, okay!
OH yeah.
FAVORITE.
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
My brother and myself
Anyway, it was a great time. The ride home though, not so much. Lots of turbulence, which I've never had experience with...and since I'm high-anxiety and panic even in ground transportation...I freaked out just a little. I did read about turbulence when I got home though, and I'm a little reassured about flying again. A little.
And unfortunately, just days after I returned back home, I got this fucking virus or infection, or whatever it is. I blame it on the fact that my immunities were compromised by the stress of traveling...the bad flying experience, all the crappy food I ate, and keeping things organized during our trip since I was the only one who knew what was going on, haha.
Also, guess what? My set comes to MR in less than a month
I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!
Also... my boobs have gotten lots bigger...can you tell?
Alright. An up to date blog is due, and now's the perfect opportunity for me to write one being stuck at home sick and all. I woke up this morning drenched in sweat and with my eyes swollen and crusted shut...not a pretty sight. After sitting up for a bit and drinking some coffee I'm feeling a little bit better, though. I am just gonna take the rest of the day and evening easy so I can get back up on my feet tomorrow.
I hate missing work... I feel like I'm missing out on precious time that could be spent learning. So you know what I do when I don't feel well enough to even draw? I sit here and stare at my tattoos trying to pick apart the shading and lines, so that I can apply it to my work. Observe, observe, observe...that's what I'm spending most of my time doing. Not even just at tattoos, or tattoos being done, but at everything around me. The shapes and colors of the world around me. The way light hits certain objects, and the shadows that are cast upon others. I notice a change in my art, and so I hope it is helpful to tattooing as well.
At any rate. Disney World was a blast. Twas myself, my mother, and my brother.
That would be us at the "Sci-Fi Dine In Theatre"... an AWESOME restaurant that is like an indoor drive-in theatre...oh yeah, you even sit in these awesome cars
But you know... I could go on and on about my trip, so we'll start with some key photographs...
Another badass restaurant we ate at.
Me...drunk for the first time in a few years...wearing my MOTHER'S fugly bathing suit. I forgot mine, okay!
OH yeah.
FAVORITE.
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
My brother and myself
Anyway, it was a great time. The ride home though, not so much. Lots of turbulence, which I've never had experience with...and since I'm high-anxiety and panic even in ground transportation...I freaked out just a little. I did read about turbulence when I got home though, and I'm a little reassured about flying again. A little.
And unfortunately, just days after I returned back home, I got this fucking virus or infection, or whatever it is. I blame it on the fact that my immunities were compromised by the stress of traveling...the bad flying experience, all the crappy food I ate, and keeping things organized during our trip since I was the only one who knew what was going on, haha.
Also, guess what? My set comes to MR in less than a month
I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!
Also... my boobs have gotten lots bigger...can you tell?
Today's a day in pictures. Today's a day in memory of my dreads. In memory of my past. Feeling nostalgic. Feeling frisky. Feeling slightly frustrated. Feeling artistic...
Last night I pulled the last of my dreads out.
At last! Pigtails and myself re-united!
Oh and then I decided it was time for a mini photoshoot with my kitties.
Last night I pulled the last of my dreads out.
At last! Pigtails and myself re-united!
Oh and then I decided it was time for a mini photoshoot with my kitties.
And as I was saying... I was feeling frisky...
Consider that your "appetizer" until April 4 when my set comes out... in case you missed that news yesterday.
hmm what else?
if you haven't had enough nudity for the day, check out my new video
Other than that. I wrote something dedicated to my dreadlocks that I'll post in my next blog.
Also, trying to conjure up the words for the emotions I'm experiencing right now. Not sure there are words, but I'm gunna do my best.
I wish I knew what was right. I feel like what is "right" is an inconsistent variable and that makes me uneasy. What I think is right, never seems to work out too well for me when it regards others.
I am still frustrated with the things that I have no control over. As always. But this time, it's sadder. I can't explain it. At least not without revealing more than what I feel comfortable with. It's less in that dark and depressing realm, and just plan SAD, if you know what I mean. Heartbreaking. I feel like a child inside right now. I wish I knew how to deal with these things, or cope with them, or whatever it is that needs to be done about it. But something does, because emotionally, it's getting tiring.
Eh. I can't even do this right now.
At any rate... I tattooed my cousin Joe yesterday. It went pretty well! I'm thinkin' it's my best line work so far, but I haven't done hardly any yet, so that's not saying much 
I just know that I fucking love tattooing so much it hurts, and I'm really glad it's my life from here on out. At this point, there's pretty much nothing in this world that I love more than my job, except maybe Smokey...
Okay kittens ...that's all for now..
Ummm...are you ready for this?!!?!?!
April 4 at 5 PM! Thanks to Alissa for being fucking awesome and Pilot and VinylMonroe as well for helping out!!! I fucking love you guys.
April 4 at 5 PM! Thanks to Alissa for being fucking awesome and Pilot and VinylMonroe as well for helping out!!!
I fucking love you guys. 
Getting pretty fucking pumped to take a road trip this weekend with Mz VinylMonroe to Ohio to meet/shoot with/party with Alissa and a number of other girls!
Can I also just remind everyone how much I love VinylMonroe? It's been a week full of heart-to-hearts with her, and today it got a little sappy when we expressed how happy we are to have each other in our lives! aww! It's been such a long time since I've had a friend like her. If ever, really.
So here's to happy times and friendship!
I will miss my Smokey for the weekend though.
Can I also just remind everyone how much I love VinylMonroe? It's been a week full of heart-to-hearts with her, and today it got a little sappy when we expressed how happy we are to have each other in our lives! aww! It's been such a long time since I've had a friend like her. If ever, really.
So here's to happy times and friendship!
I will miss my Smokey for the weekend though.
here on SG's main page today the featured groups are weight loss, health and fitness, and there was one for bodybuilding too...
and it's just rubbing in my face the fact that I have not been active lately. I was supposed to go to the gym last night and instead got caught up in talking to my mom until midnight at her house. I needed to vent about things on my mind, that only she could really understand. That I could trust telling only her. It was very much needed....but then so is my fitness and I've been slacking.
Speaking of. I'm a little worried about my mom. Everytime I see her she looks thinner and more frail than the last time. The moment she emerged to greet me, I had taken notice of her tiny little legs. You can always tell when my mom or myself are struggling with eating matters when our thighs start to fade away. We're the type of gals that naturally have some meaty thighs. Something that we both also struggle with accepting.
At any rate. the things that have been plaguing me, are those types of things that I have no control over. precisely the sort of thing I HATE and end up having trouble accepting.
Regardless, life isn't that bad otherwise, and I have been loving my cats, and my job.
Also, I've been loving this pretty lady VinylMonroe who I highly recommend everyone to drop in and say hi to. Trust me. Yon won't be disappointed.
and it's just rubbing in my face the fact that I have not been active lately. I was supposed to go to the gym last night and instead got caught up in talking to my mom until midnight at her house. I needed to vent about things on my mind, that only she could really understand. That I could trust telling only her. It was very much needed....but then so is my fitness and I've been slacking.
Speaking of. I'm a little worried about my mom. Everytime I see her she looks thinner and more frail than the last time. The moment she emerged to greet me, I had taken notice of her tiny little legs. You can always tell when my mom or myself are struggling with eating matters when our thighs start to fade away. We're the type of gals that naturally have some meaty thighs. Something that we both also struggle with accepting.
At any rate. the things that have been plaguing me, are those types of things that I have no control over. precisely the sort of thing I HATE and end up having trouble accepting.
Regardless, life isn't that bad otherwise, and I have been loving my cats, and my job.
Also, I've been loving this pretty lady VinylMonroe who I highly recommend everyone to drop in and say hi to. Trust me. Yon won't be disappointed.
