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I'm going through another maybe-I-should-be-a-lesbian phase again.
Granted, the internet and cable were out for a day so I watched season 3 and 4 of the L word all day yesterday so this isn't exactly coming from nowhere. Daniela Sea is so ridiculously hot to me. A great combination of masculine and feminine.
I might even like her more than my long time crush....
I've always thought I was too picky when it came to women but due to way too much time to think and possibly a few glasses of wine I've changed my mind. I like very specific things in men, why would I not be specific with women as well. I'd love to meet a girl who dresses boyish but still wears some smudgy eye liner. A girl who can fix cars and get dirty but still has great tits. A girl who likes to be a little dominant in the relationship. For some reason I usually get crushes on super girly girls but then I realize I don't actually want to kiss them..I just want to put them in my pocket and look at them.
Maybe Portland will be a good place to try out some girls. Lord knows Chris' friends will be taking me to the right places to meet them.
And according to them our new house is right around the corner from a lesbian bar. Unfortunately it's supposed to be where the old girls hang out. Like old old.
In other news, Frankie and I have been doing a lot of this:
Oh and Goomis as well.....
Granted, the internet and cable were out for a day so I watched season 3 and 4 of the L word all day yesterday so this isn't exactly coming from nowhere. Daniela Sea is so ridiculously hot to me. A great combination of masculine and feminine.
I might even like her more than my long time crush....
I've always thought I was too picky when it came to women but due to way too much time to think and possibly a few glasses of wine I've changed my mind. I like very specific things in men, why would I not be specific with women as well. I'd love to meet a girl who dresses boyish but still wears some smudgy eye liner. A girl who can fix cars and get dirty but still has great tits. A girl who likes to be a little dominant in the relationship. For some reason I usually get crushes on super girly girls but then I realize I don't actually want to kiss them..I just want to put them in my pocket and look at them.
Maybe Portland will be a good place to try out some girls. Lord knows Chris' friends will be taking me to the right places to meet them.
And according to them our new house is right around the corner from a lesbian bar. Unfortunately it's supposed to be where the old girls hang out. Like old old.
In other news, Frankie and I have been doing a lot of this:
Oh and Goomis as well.....
I'm feeling like a god damn teenager.
I'm going to prove that it is scientifically impossible to stay at your parents house for a month in your childhood bedroom and not become a total asshole.
I'm lazy, whiny, horny and I'm taking free food for granted.
However, the parents left today on a two week trip. I'm alone in a big ol' house stuffed with food, alcohol, cable tv, a hot tub and two puppies....pooooor me. I really need to shut up.
I'll feel less whiny once Buckets gets here.
I just woke up from a dream in which i was making out with this fabulously shaggy haired man who would not fuck me no matter what I tried....because my parents were near by. See? Teenage dreams. It was terribly lovely to be making out with someone who thought I was a hot bitch though. I've not been feeling all that magically hot. Hopefully I can pull some hotness together before Buckets gets here.
Or at least before I move to PDX...because really, who am I kidding, there will be boys. I've been basically off the boys since the great Weeping Boyfriend debacle of '08. Chloe agrees that even though there might have been a few boys since then there really weren't any boys. As in tasty, worth having sex with when not totally hammered new boys. I'm soooo looking foward to my first few weeks in town when I can trick innocent boys into thinking I'm fabulously witty and sexy and then sleep with them before they figure out I'm ridiculously geeky and I snort when I laugh. It's my favorite window of time.
In other news:
Ridiculous pictures of me and Chloe from that Comic Con after party....free drinks+trixie&chloe=baaaaad.
I am awesome:
I am smirky:
I miss my extensions. And I want my god damn boob job.
Uhhhh...other than that......
I'm going to prove that it is scientifically impossible to stay at your parents house for a month in your childhood bedroom and not become a total asshole.
I'm lazy, whiny, horny and I'm taking free food for granted.
However, the parents left today on a two week trip. I'm alone in a big ol' house stuffed with food, alcohol, cable tv, a hot tub and two puppies....pooooor me. I really need to shut up.
I'll feel less whiny once Buckets gets here.
I just woke up from a dream in which i was making out with this fabulously shaggy haired man who would not fuck me no matter what I tried....because my parents were near by. See? Teenage dreams. It was terribly lovely to be making out with someone who thought I was a hot bitch though. I've not been feeling all that magically hot. Hopefully I can pull some hotness together before Buckets gets here.
Or at least before I move to PDX...because really, who am I kidding, there will be boys. I've been basically off the boys since the great Weeping Boyfriend debacle of '08. Chloe agrees that even though there might have been a few boys since then there really weren't any boys. As in tasty, worth having sex with when not totally hammered new boys. I'm soooo looking foward to my first few weeks in town when I can trick innocent boys into thinking I'm fabulously witty and sexy and then sleep with them before they figure out I'm ridiculously geeky and I snort when I laugh. It's my favorite window of time.
In other news:
Ridiculous pictures of me and Chloe from that Comic Con after party....free drinks+trixie&chloe=baaaaad.
I am awesome:
I am smirky:
I miss my extensions. And I want my god damn boob job.
Uhhhh...other than that......
Entertaining:
-Watching Sex and the City (the movie) with your grandma and having her laugh at all the sex scenes.
-Drinking a bottle with your mom and yelling at the TV during Top Model. ( I know I said a month of no drinking...but I was really REALLY mad and so I broke down when my mom brought out the wine glasses.)
-Watching two dogs under ten pounds try to chase deer out of the backyard.
Not entertaining:
-The fact that we have secured a house in Portland but now we might not be able to move in until November 1st. I'm stuck in limbo. I haven't worked since July. I only do well in Humboldt for a week at a time...I cannot do another month here.
Luckily......
My dearest Buckets is coming to stay with me for two weeks. We'll hang out here for a bit and then make the drive up to Oregon together. He'll make the time go by sooooo much faster.
I'm so looking forward to a fresh start in Portland. The people that I've met up there so far are so warm and amazing. Everyone is going out of their way to try and help me get up there faster. People I barely know have offered rooms and dogsitting. I'm excited to start some healthy friendships.
But no boys.
Yup.
Sure.....
-Watching Sex and the City (the movie) with your grandma and having her laugh at all the sex scenes.
-Drinking a bottle with your mom and yelling at the TV during Top Model. ( I know I said a month of no drinking...but I was really REALLY mad and so I broke down when my mom brought out the wine glasses.)
-Watching two dogs under ten pounds try to chase deer out of the backyard.
Not entertaining:
-The fact that we have secured a house in Portland but now we might not be able to move in until November 1st. I'm stuck in limbo. I haven't worked since July. I only do well in Humboldt for a week at a time...I cannot do another month here.
Luckily......
My dearest Buckets is coming to stay with me for two weeks. We'll hang out here for a bit and then make the drive up to Oregon together. He'll make the time go by sooooo much faster.
I'm so looking forward to a fresh start in Portland. The people that I've met up there so far are so warm and amazing. Everyone is going out of their way to try and help me get up there faster. People I barely know have offered rooms and dogsitting. I'm excited to start some healthy friendships.
But no boys.
Yup.
Sure.....
Day 3 of the month of blogging....
If you don't know what I'm talking about then start two days back and read from there.
For those of you who have no idea where Humboldt is....it's about five and a half hours north of San Francisco and seven hours south of Portland. So basically, in the middle of nowhere. Gorgeous, right on the beach, in the heart of the redwoods and very isolated.
Today I took Frankie and went out driving up the coast to visit the lighthouse. The lighthouse looks out over where both of my grandfathers had their ashes sprinkled. It's also where most of my family will end up. We're not a graveyard loving bunch. Everyone buried at sea there has their name on the lighthouse wall. I go up and say hi to my grandpas every time I'm home. I'm guessing I'll be spending a fair amount of time there in my month here. It's nice to talk to them and it's a stunning view. I took a video and some pictures but unless you see it in person I can't explain how amazing it is.
Then I went to another beach down the road and forced Frankie to hike down all the stairs to the water. He was so not happy with me and kept trying to go back to the car. We only stayed long enough to take some pictures. It's so insanely beautiful here today. I'm so glad that I've lived so many places because it makes me truly appreciate the beauty in my backyard. If I had never left then all this would seem boring to me.
Until tomorrow, SGland....
If you don't know what I'm talking about then start two days back and read from there.
For those of you who have no idea where Humboldt is....it's about five and a half hours north of San Francisco and seven hours south of Portland. So basically, in the middle of nowhere. Gorgeous, right on the beach, in the heart of the redwoods and very isolated.
Today I took Frankie and went out driving up the coast to visit the lighthouse. The lighthouse looks out over where both of my grandfathers had their ashes sprinkled. It's also where most of my family will end up. We're not a graveyard loving bunch. Everyone buried at sea there has their name on the lighthouse wall. I go up and say hi to my grandpas every time I'm home. I'm guessing I'll be spending a fair amount of time there in my month here. It's nice to talk to them and it's a stunning view. I took a video and some pictures but unless you see it in person I can't explain how amazing it is.
Then I went to another beach down the road and forced Frankie to hike down all the stairs to the water. He was so not happy with me and kept trying to go back to the car. We only stayed long enough to take some pictures. It's so insanely beautiful here today. I'm so glad that I've lived so many places because it makes me truly appreciate the beauty in my backyard. If I had never left then all this would seem boring to me.
Until tomorrow, SGland....
day two of the month of journal entries....
In case you're just tuning in, I've decided to write and photograph the month I'm spending at home in Humboldt before my house is ready in PDX. It's supposed to help me from going nutty. Today I've still be nutty though.
Today I played the push up game with my mom, ate homemade soup and visited my grandma and step grandpa. They told me stories about my brother having psychic visions when he was a kid. My grandma is taking me to play bingo with her this week so please cross your fingers that I win some cash.
I've been trying to come up with ways to make money while here. I only have about three weeks to kill and jobs are very scarce here. Making minimum wage for three weeks isn't going to help much. I thought about selling prints or making stuff to sell to you guys but I doubt that would make much either. Money is serious stressing me out. I'm no good at not working, it makes me restless.
And now, inevitable dog photos. They're my constant companions here and an endless source of entertainment for me.
We play in the backyard and chase each other. I tried to catch them in action.
And random pretty stuff...
That's all for today. I'm off to see a movie.
In case you're just tuning in, I've decided to write and photograph the month I'm spending at home in Humboldt before my house is ready in PDX. It's supposed to help me from going nutty. Today I've still be nutty though.
Today I played the push up game with my mom, ate homemade soup and visited my grandma and step grandpa. They told me stories about my brother having psychic visions when he was a kid. My grandma is taking me to play bingo with her this week so please cross your fingers that I win some cash.
I've been trying to come up with ways to make money while here. I only have about three weeks to kill and jobs are very scarce here. Making minimum wage for three weeks isn't going to help much. I thought about selling prints or making stuff to sell to you guys but I doubt that would make much either. Money is serious stressing me out. I'm no good at not working, it makes me restless.
And now, inevitable dog photos. They're my constant companions here and an endless source of entertainment for me.
We play in the backyard and chase each other. I tried to catch them in action.
And random pretty stuff...
That's all for today. I'm off to see a movie.
This whole growing up thing is pretty darn amazing. Epiphanies left and right.
Here's the news:
-We got a house in Portland. A lovely place in the southeast near lots of food and bars. My room is bigger than some people's apartments and I'll be paying more than $200 less in rent than I did in San Diego.
-The bad news is that the house won't be ready for us until October 15th. My choices were to stay in a terrifying basement on a couch up in PDX or come back to Humboldt and hang with my parents for a month. I picked the cushy house with homemade food and a big ol' bed. Duh.
I've only been back in Humboldt for two days but I've already run through the emotional gamut. I associate being here with feelings of failure. It's tied to things that happened to me at 18 years old. I'm trying to let go of that and just let myself relax. It's hard for me to go out and do things here. I tend to hermit myself at my parent's home. In a way I'm re-enacting the situation from ten years ago. I need to cut that shit out.
So I've decided that I'll update my journal every day for the month that I'm here. I'm hoping it will inspire me to go out and do things so that I'll have something to say here. Besides, it's so damn pretty here I should really be out taking pictures. AND there are a few girls on here whose journals I love to read and when they go months without updating I get annoyed. So on the off chance that any of you like reading my journals, then for the next month you'll get a new treat every day...with lots of pictures because if you're anything like me then your attention span is gnat-like.
First off, the goals of this month are:
-No alcohol or soda.
-No white sugar or crazy processed foods.
-Taking daily walks with the mum and the dogs.
-Sitting my ass down at my dad's baby grand and learning to play. He's teaching me to read music and I've been able to decipher part of a song I love. It thrills me to be able to play part of it.
-Writing, writing and more writing.
-Lots of pictures.
-Hanging out with my Grandma and listening to her crazy tales of monkeys as pets and 150 days aboard a boat bound for Guam.
-Getting out of the house, onto the beaches and trails and not feeling like a loser.
And now, some pictures.
The place I stayed at in SD before I left town had 11 dogs. Most of the time only five or six were running around. It was amazing.
Dinner time usually looked like this:
I said goodbye to SD beauty:
and goodbye to some SD beauties:
and hit the road to with Chloe. We stopped in Orange for beer and a show:
The headed to Oakland to see my soon to be roommate and best friend Ryan:
Then we drove on up to Humboldt where these two dorks were basking in the sun and waiting for me:
A quick trip to PDX to get a house resulted in seeing my darling Gina:
and sitting in the yard, looking at porn mags and drinking beer like this....god knows why...
Oh and how amazing is it that on the 5 there is a place that sells "sweet cron". I'm assuming it's corn since all their signs imply it with a corn graphic...but seriously, four different signs say "sweet cron."
That's all for now, I better get my ass moving if I want something to put up here tomorrow!
Here's the news:
-We got a house in Portland. A lovely place in the southeast near lots of food and bars. My room is bigger than some people's apartments and I'll be paying more than $200 less in rent than I did in San Diego.
-The bad news is that the house won't be ready for us until October 15th. My choices were to stay in a terrifying basement on a couch up in PDX or come back to Humboldt and hang with my parents for a month. I picked the cushy house with homemade food and a big ol' bed. Duh.
I've only been back in Humboldt for two days but I've already run through the emotional gamut. I associate being here with feelings of failure. It's tied to things that happened to me at 18 years old. I'm trying to let go of that and just let myself relax. It's hard for me to go out and do things here. I tend to hermit myself at my parent's home. In a way I'm re-enacting the situation from ten years ago. I need to cut that shit out.
So I've decided that I'll update my journal every day for the month that I'm here. I'm hoping it will inspire me to go out and do things so that I'll have something to say here. Besides, it's so damn pretty here I should really be out taking pictures. AND there are a few girls on here whose journals I love to read and when they go months without updating I get annoyed. So on the off chance that any of you like reading my journals, then for the next month you'll get a new treat every day...with lots of pictures because if you're anything like me then your attention span is gnat-like.
First off, the goals of this month are:
-No alcohol or soda.
-No white sugar or crazy processed foods.
-Taking daily walks with the mum and the dogs.
-Sitting my ass down at my dad's baby grand and learning to play. He's teaching me to read music and I've been able to decipher part of a song I love. It thrills me to be able to play part of it.
-Writing, writing and more writing.
-Lots of pictures.
-Hanging out with my Grandma and listening to her crazy tales of monkeys as pets and 150 days aboard a boat bound for Guam.
-Getting out of the house, onto the beaches and trails and not feeling like a loser.
And now, some pictures.
The place I stayed at in SD before I left town had 11 dogs. Most of the time only five or six were running around. It was amazing.
Dinner time usually looked like this:
I said goodbye to SD beauty:
and goodbye to some SD beauties:
and hit the road to with Chloe. We stopped in Orange for beer and a show:
The headed to Oakland to see my soon to be roommate and best friend Ryan:
Then we drove on up to Humboldt where these two dorks were basking in the sun and waiting for me:
A quick trip to PDX to get a house resulted in seeing my darling Gina:
and sitting in the yard, looking at porn mags and drinking beer like this....god knows why...
Oh and how amazing is it that on the 5 there is a place that sells "sweet cron". I'm assuming it's corn since all their signs imply it with a corn graphic...but seriously, four different signs say "sweet cron."
That's all for now, I better get my ass moving if I want something to put up here tomorrow!
OCTOBER 2008