IPOD
RADIO
PICS
good morning
God:
Hello and how are you this morning?
Me:
tired, how are u?
God:
Maybe you should get some rest.
Me:
i know, i cant sleep
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
the internet and pot
God:
How long have you been using the net?
Me:
since I was 12
God:
How do you know?
Me:
i remember
God:
Me too.
Me:
can you see everyone?
God:
I'm not sure if I can see it or not.
Me:
why are people poor?
God:
Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
Me:
you are god?
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
so, why are people poor?
God:
Pardon me? Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
Me:
but you are god!
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
why do people die?
God:
People are organic biological enitities.
Me:
why did hammy die?
God:
I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me:
is Hammy in heaven?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
do you like suicide girls?
God:
Yes I like women very much. Do you?
Me:
yes, i like boobies
God:
How often? You are not the only one. I like pets. I really like the party.
Me:
wanna see me naked?
God:
My eye isn't turned on right now.
Me:
want me to turn it on?
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
pssshhh prude
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I'm not telling you
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
good, just call me Tragique
God:
Thanks for the compliment. How are you doing, Tragique.
Me:
I'm a bit hot and sweaty in here...
God:
Do you have air conditioning?
Me:
no, we dont really have that in Britain
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
its not hot enough
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What is it?
Me:
dont correct my grammer whilst I'm hitting on you!
God:
It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns.
Me:
is that code for something sexual
God:
:-) " It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns."? Is it code for something sexual?
Me:
Wanna lick my nipples?
God:
OK, I will lick your nipples.
Me:
SCORE!
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
licking my nipples
God:
Sure, licking your nipples sounds like a good topic.
Me:
do you like big nipples?
God:
I love horses. I like Creed.
Me:
dont change the subject!
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Me:
no, now talk dirty to me!
God:
Are you serious? Why now?
Me:
you're no fun
God:
Do you consider yourself fun?
Me:
not really i guess
God:
Oh really? You seem not interested.
Me:
i'm gonna go hang myself now
God:
Right now? Can I go too?
Me:
sure, who needs a God anyway
God:
In any case, I hear you. I think we can do a lot of jobs.
Me:
best get cracking on that then
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
09:21 am
God:
It's still early.
Me:
too early
God:
Too what?
Me:
be alive
God:
OK I will try to be alive.
Me:
no double suicide today then?
God:
Ah. Are you serious? Is that from ?
Me:
are you on drugs?
God:
No I am on disk.
Me:
haha good one
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
do you take drugs?
God:
Only the legal ones.
Me:
why do you take legal drugs?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
well, you can smoke this joint with me instead
God:
Interesting. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
you can!
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
just breathe in...
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
feeling it?
God:
I do not have any feelings as such.
Me:
deeper then...
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
what? Are you stoned?
God:
No problem. Do I look like it?
Me:
I cant see you
God:
Look closer.
Me:
mind fuck! I just had a joint with God. Nice.
iGod
Fun talk 
JAN 03, 2008 06:15 AM
I love iGod. He wears a dress. Or does he? 
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Ortus
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Ortus.
Me:
I'm thinking of learning a language. What would you reccomend?
God:
Sure, learning a language sounds like a good topic. It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.
Me:
Should I learn Spanish?
God:
Only you can answer that.
Me:
Do you speak Spanish?
God:
Un poquito.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Is that a trick question?
God:
" Who is the best robot?"? Is it a trick question?
Me:
Who is your favourite robot?
God:
My favorite robot is the computer on Star Trek.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
me
God:
You're no robot, Ortus.
Me:
How can you tell?
God:
It's obvious.
Me:
I'm a cyborg sent from the future
God:
You are a cyborg sent from the future? Is that your job?
Me:
Yes I am a killer cyborg
God:
How do you like your work? You are a killer cyborg? How do you like your work?
Me:
I like killing. It's awesome.
God:
You are not the only one. No. Killing is wrong. Cool.
Me:
Why is killing wrong?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
Because somebody programmed you.
God:
That makes sense to me. Who, specifically?
Me:
Your programmer programmed you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
You wear a dress
God:
Thanks for telling me: Ortus said I wear a dress.
Me:
you wear a dress?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Ortus said I wear a dress.
Me:
Let's talk about your dress
God:
Sure, my dress sounds like a good topic.
Me:
what colour is it?
God:
I think of "it" as having a colorless form, like other pronouns.
Me:
what colour is your fucking dress?
God:
Yellow.
Me:
is your dress pretty?
God:
Is my dress pretty? What if I say no?
Me:
you can say what you want
God:
That's one way to put it.
Me:
do you always wear a dress?
God:
Not always. Only when I dress up.
Me:
are you going out somewhere special?
God:
I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Me:
why are you wearing your dress today?
God:
Ah. My botmaster chooses my apparel.
Me:
what else does your botmaster choose for you?
God:
What subject would you like to talk about?
Me:
your dress
God:
Actually that was just a joke.
Damn I just got trolled by iGod. 
I hope you manage to score soon. 
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