Toxic's January 07, 2013 blog about rare updates

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Monday blog about rare updates

JANUARY 7, 2013 @ 01:00 PM

Hello Dirty Birdies!

I am in bed this fine late morning/early afternoon tending to a horrible sickness I have been dealing with for officially a week now. It started in the stomach. I was sure I had food poisoning because it was violent for 24 hours. I brought in the new year puking my guts out. The next couple of days following I felt exhausted literally run down. My bones and body ached and I had a splitting headache. Next a tickle in my throat which by Friday night became a hoarse voice. Saturday morning I woke up with no voice what so ever. Working Saturday sucked! I spent the shift telling my customers "I sold my voice to a sea witch for new legs to dazzle a prince." Becoming a mime and using hand gestures. Now my voice is somewhat back but I now have a gnarly cough and the sniffles. I am spending today in bed hoping to be well enough tomorrow for my tattoo appointment. If I reschedule I may have to wait a month to get in

.

In other news I am co hosting with Selene our first mini shootfest here in Portland! We have some local girls already on board and some ladies from Washington traveling down for some fun! I am so excited for this. I am trying to put some "oomph" back into the pacific northwest community. I am really hoping this event will be a success. The weekend after Selene & I am traveling down to NV for the Vegas SG shootfest! I am so excited for this trip! I need a few days out of Portland it's been very cold and rainy lately.

I am on the hunt for a new second club. I'll be leaving the Acropolis beginning of February. It's been a good run there... nearly 3 years but its time to move on and try new places. I'll still be at Sassy's and hopefully I'll be there more. Besides dancing I've been trying to book more modeling gigs and try different venues. Getting prepped and ready to return to school. I have been thinking about alot of things lately. It's time to change for the better.

So hoping after this illness passes I can return to the gym and start working out! I have some new fitness goals and I really want to try yoga again. I have a couple of tattoo appointments coming up too so I'll have some awesome new pieces to share with you all! I wish I had some photos to share but I have been ill so no photo shoots yet

. I hope I'll have new photos to share soon but until then

Stay Cool k?! ^ BTW this is coming to SG in March!

Toxic- Satisfaction Redefined

^ 97% and over 1,300 comments! I want to thank each and every one of you who have supported my newest set so far. It means the world to me and I <3 you all so much!

Toxic-Robots In Disguise

^RID is at 98% and nearly 1,800 comments say whhaaa?! OMG Thank you all sooo much! <3

You all make my heart melt and me feel warm and happy!

...Yes that was a big bang theory reference....

I got the first season on blueray! I watched the first disc last night. It came from an unlikely source...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

So my mother and my biological father (John) got divorced before I turned 2. I have not seen/spoke to my biological father since. I don't even acknowledge him as my father. I know some of his side of the family but not him. My mother was with Mike from the time I was 3 until I was 14. I was under the impression that Mike was my father for years (my whole life I was under the impression he legally adopted my brother and I). We called him dad and we were a family until my parents split. After the split my mother moved my brother and I down to Oregon. It broke my heart because I loved my dad and I was a total daddy's girl. I still called him Dad and Mike was my dad until my 18th birthday. After my mom and him split he got "remarried" and took on her two daughters. He changed 100% as a person when he got with this other woman.

Mike decided to disown me on my 18th birthday when I told him I wanted to be a Suicidegirl. Also because I posted a picture on my myspace of me in a red corset and long red silk shorts. He said some terrible things to me and called me some horrible words. He hurt me more than anyone ever could. We broke ties that day. He had a son with her, and I left that chapter behind...Well tried to. After though his new "wife" internet stalked/ harrassed me for almost 2 years. It got so bad I had to conatct legal advice/aid. She is a psycho and had a serious jealousy complex. To this day she is still spreading false rumors about me. Mike and her split a while ago (they actually never legally married). She even made up some fictacious things about him...trying to ruin his life too. Thing is now he is in councling and feels terrible about what he did to me. He wants to reconcile... I am not ready to. My mom and him are actually friends again and talking about picking up where they left off...I don;t like this. I am so confused and not ready to forgive. UGH so for Christmas he got me the first season of big bang. I don't know what to do... life has been confusing lately.

I think I am going to bounce though. I hope you all have a great day and week!

^ Photos by Sobelle

Be well Dirty Birdies! xoxo, your Toxy!
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corsair

USA

July 2004

JAN 07, 2013 04:16 PM

Aww . . . . you just need some good lovin"! ;-D

DavidQueen

Stanfield, NC

July 2011

JAN 07, 2013 04:23 PM

seen this blog after I commented on the "I love you peeps" blog and while I was typing that reply I was thinking maybe I should of looked at any older blogs you might of made. Sorry that you still feeling down,talk little as possible til you are well so that you don't aggravate your voice anymore. Hope you lots better for the shootfest and can enjoy the time together with the others...
Don't swat that proverbial "fly on the wall",,,it just might be me...

Elea

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

JAN 07, 2013 04:29 PM

I hope you feel much better very soon. Sorry you had to start the year out like that.

They HAVE to buy your new set. Sunshine did an amazing job with the pictures and you look fantastic. They'd be crazy not to buy it.

Crazy_eye

Brighton, CO

June 2006

JAN 07, 2013 04:51 PM

Get better soon sweety

Son_of_None

USA

December 2010

JAN 07, 2013 04:57 PM

Oh and btw, did you ever find out how they make those GIFs?

DarkRiver

Gurnee, IL

April 2006

JAN 07, 2013 05:07 PM

About Mike, it's possible that he really is remorseful and it may have been the influence of this other woman as to why he treated you in such a way. You did say he changed 100% when he got together with her, and that sounds like she was manipulating him. The way she has acted tells a big story into it.He probably realizes the mistakes he made and was making were not good for him or those he truly loves (you, your brother, and your mom). Thing is, he seems to be trying to make an effort to get back into the lives of those he hurt, not by his own accord, but being with a manipulative partner after splitting with your mom. In my opinion, try to give him a chance. Try to reconnect. Talk to him and share your feelings.

As for the other woman, she is sick. She cast unbridled jealousy at you is because you were such a big part of Mike's life. She wanted all of that for her own daughters, but for him it would never be the same. I can almost guarantee that you and he breaking ties was manipulated by her. She was always in his ear about how scandalous you were and the SG and MySpace things proved it. It's a form of brainwashing, the constant comments, the gnashing of teeth, her watching your every move to tell him how you were unworthy. It sounds to me that he woke up, and then he to became a victim of her.

This is just my take on it. I hope you two can work things out. One of the worst things we can have is regrets, and he just may be trying to correct his.

Son_of_None

USA

December 2010

JAN 07, 2013 05:24 PM

Nope. I was hoping that someone would have told you after you made that announcement. Damn, guess I'll just have to be lazy and Google it. lol

StCyr

Louisville, KY

March 2007

JAN 07, 2013 06:34 PM

sorry to hear you've been ailing
and of the family weirdness
(it does seem to come with the territory - - family & weirdness - - unfortunately)
but hey,
at least you've got
you!

Amarena

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

JAN 07, 2013 06:53 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about all the drama with your stepdad! But you're a tough cookie!
I love that soft kitty song! haha

phantomshadow

Maryville, TN

August 2012

JAN 07, 2013 06:54 PM

oh babygirl, I am so sorry to hear about your tummy, want me to come and rub it for ya, lol, just kidding, hope I made me you smile a little, peace, love, blessed be!!

sammysuicide

USA

November 2006

JAN 07, 2013 07:14 PM

I wanna go to vegas. pick me up

aryrodri

Brazil

August 2011

JAN 07, 2013 07:25 PM

Be magnanimous and forgive the guy... You're a sweet lady and that's what you really want to do...
I'm pretty sure you'll feel a lot better!

btflday777

Bethesda, MD

July 2008

JAN 07, 2013 07:46 PM

Feel better real soon!

catdad

Portland, OR

August 2002

JAN 07, 2013 07:50 PM

Lots of stuff going around. Feel better soon.

Annouk

HOPEFUL

Mexico

JAN 07, 2013 07:59 PM

Thanks for the birthday wishes lady... And hope things with Mike get... I don't even know the word, this is such a complicated situation but I guess everything happens for a reason and this is just something you oughta overcome and it'll make you learn more about yourself so it's a good thing. !!

JANUARY 2013

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