i just wanna say to my lovely Thora..MUUUAAAAH ! and you're beautiful !! xoxoxoxo

Thanks for coming down to kalx. Good luck on the playdays.

I'm not -all- that aware of what this co-op is.. but if it's name is Lust Lady it can't be anything shy of groovy ^_^

that was Barry for the Nuns?

I can get a recording of our interview. i just e-mailed you let me know where to send the cd.

i haven't gone since my friend gabrielle worked there years back, it was fun cuz' i knew a lot of the girls who worked there...i don't know what i would as a stranger...

Hi Thora,

Sounds like things - despite hiccups - are going well.

Everything OK?

*pout* I wish I could for both...but I am broke and nowhere near the rockin event... Good luck tho'!

dahlia video shoot ohm pdx

hi

Hey I've been to Leipzig. I was there for 3 days for a Network 21 seminar.

2 new sets? so fast? wow...I guess they don't come up for a while. So many other girls coming up too.

Yeah...I feel energised and focused right now. All of my energies are on getting to England and getting on with it you know? There is a sense of freedom of knowing I'm leaving the drudgery. Perhaps I'm just jumping into something worse, but for now, the bliss of feeling like I'm being freed from something.

Friend? You mean Linda right? She's having a chaotic time. I'm trying to be as calming and grounding for her as possible. She brings up all sorts of wierd thoughts in me. I find I can intellectualise every thing I feel and think around her, put it under a microscope. And news from her is that the 'Mother' (goddess? actual person?) has chosen her to be a representative of all witches in Sweden. Or at least that's what the senior witches have told her, and they are grooming her for the role. So she's got that coming up over the next few years. Her little herbal business is picking up too.

hmm...almost as soon as I found her, she's now in something much bigger than me and I already feel small and forgotten.

Network 21 is a third party expansion into the Internet Age for Amway. Yeah, yeah I know, I've heard all the crap...

But, I was curious and due to a last minute cancellation, I got to go for free. I saw three days of 10,000 people in a huge expo hall. Although it was a bunch of pep talks and success stories, I felt like I was in a temple and all these people were sending their energy to some Aztec God. It was spooky. I'm not interested in it. I can't sell something I don't believe in. I certainly have no intention of bowing down with the others.

England...I should be there by mid-August since school terms begin September 1st.

Re: Linda. I feel really silly now. I am just repeating what she told me without editing except for perhaps my own conclusions about what it means. I am very ignorant here. I can always ask her more about it. We are planning to have a dinner together this Friday. There's lots I want to pick her brain and experience for. To use a metaphor, everytime she lets me lift a stone up, a completely different bug than expected skitters out from under it. The girl has more veils, glamors and layers than you can shake a stick at.

Yes, I did mean glamour in that very sense. But there is only enough energy behind them for them to exist. Anyone who bothers to look - with sincerity - will see them dissolve. The times we have hung out, especially when others were around, to see her put on one person for others and then only half-heartedly put that person on for me and rapidly switching between several others. I find it fascinating and I simply must dig deeper. She has issues of trust...well, a fuckload of issues in general...

It makes you think about what we take for granted in our superficial scans of others.

I wouldn't really say I'm charmed. It's that 'Noble Knight' in me she's awakened. I want to help her and protect her....but there's really very little I can do for her because it's her struggle not mine. In fact I probably couldn't do what she's doing. I'd be an arrogant fool to assume I could take on her burdens. So I do what I already do well. I am solidly here. I am me.

Now I have all the sensitivity of a cement block when it comes to auras and energies, but nevertheless around her I get confusing inner signals all the time. She says she always brings chaos to men that get near her. Perhaps that's what that is. I can't make any sense of it and I am very, very curious. I want to know why and I want to know what. Being around her is as much an education about me as it is about her.

I am sure I am just as much a curiousity to her and I do admit to enjoying that attention. I mean, here I am, this guy and I can NOTICE things. I know my soul burns a bright noble colour, that I have untapped power and yet I am so terribly ignorant of how to use it. I KNOW things and yet I am so very foolish too. I am full of my own paradoxes too. And without knowing why, she trusts me...not with everything certainly...but more than she would give anyone credit for in just a few meetings.

I appreciate the warning. You hope it's just being cautious? If you're wrong, how bad are we talking here? Do you think I have an unhealthy infatuation? If so, it wouldn't be the first time

I am drawn to them.

[Edited on May 13, 2003]

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nisi