SuicideGirl: Thanatogenous
suicidegirl

Thanatogenous closet perv

I’m private
 
OCTOBER 15, 2012 @ 02:16 PM


I've been meaning to write this blog for a while:

Dearest SG,
So many things have changed in the past 5 years of my life and I feel I've almost come full circle. My personality has gone from a young and wild barely 21 female, through a period of self-confident - still spontaneous young adult, to cynical stranger to myself and now coming out of the darkness of deep depression. I am no longer the same person I was when I first joined SG.
Suicide Girls has brought me some of the greatest relationships and absolute best times in my life. This site helped me to realize how lovely I was and to accept my body as is, flaws and all. However, all the goodness came with a great deal of disappointment and heartache. I don't wish to elaborate on this topic other than to mention it has led to me not being as involved as I once was. I really had some great conversations here and I'm thankful for that. (You know who you are wink ) I am supremely grateful to Suicide Girls for introducing me to a new world and facilitating in some of the best years of my life - but - times, they are a'changin'...

As you most know I've been in California the last 2 years and the experience has not been a good one. It has forced me to learn a lot and I have completely changed my view of everything I once understood. From economics, politics, environmental beliefs, spirituality, love, health, how I view society, almost everything I did/believed is now drastically different. The experience has been very difficult and it will get harder as I change more things about myself for the better. Part of that has to do with another relocation.

Coming early 2013, I will be moving to an undisclosed location in Tennessee. My plan is to homestead and to be as self-sustainable as possible. Ultimately I want to live my life, no punching clocks, no working for the man.

I still plan on attending tattoo conventions and shooting for magazines but my activity on this site will be limited; unless there is an overwhelming urge for my return - which I doubt would happen. wink If you want to stay in touch follow me on intagram: @badassthana I update there on a daily basis. I also have a twitter but I reserve it for people I have actually spoken to in person. My twitter is usually pretty depressing as I use it to bitch and generally complain about the world so I'm not sure you would enjoy it anyway...


This is what I look like currently - consider it my date stamp

Until next time -

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Comments
Creolla

Creolla

HOPEFUL

USA

JAN 30, 2013 09:45 PM

maybe we will run into each other at farmers market sometime! * goes to scope out the sustainable living group for thantagenous posts*
I may know of a well seated 17 acres of prime homesteading land that me and the BF can't afford but, have been drooling over for months close to your desired area smile

Stiles

Stiles

Miami Beach, FL
November 2002

MAY 29, 2013 05:18 PM

California can be a rough place to get a solid foundation going. The cost of living, the often cut-throat rat race nature of the place, the emphasis on having a veneer of success at all cost, the tendency of it to chew up and spit out many of the younger people who move there with a certain vision of how it would be/should be.

It's a harsh wake up call that can be made easier by coming out with a lot of money, a job lined up ahead of time and a good bunch of quality friends already there... but I'm guessing you know all this now, right? I had fun living in L.A. and a better time living in Oakland and I'll move back sometime later, with no illusions and more preparation.

I hope you find satisfaction in your living situation. Onward and upward, y'know?

All_Eyes

All_Eyes

Williamsburg, VA
May 2013

JUN 14, 2013 11:32 PM

I hope you've broken out and flourished since this blog post.

I battled a very dark depression for many years. Only these last few months has the world taken on a lighter, more beautiful hue.

It's nice to know what it feels like to love life.

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