PICS
I've been working a lot and getting comfortable in my new position at the mortuary. I just embalm, dress and casket now, which is a much needed change form having to deal with the public. I work a 40 hr work week so its left me a lot of time for soul searching and exploring.
Went to a dilapidated naval base. It was so surreal and reminded me of what it would be like after the apocalypse.
I didn't have the best view for the Planting Moon Eclipse but it made some awesome shadows in the house.
The eclipse was a reminder of our insignificance in this vast cosmos and was a turning point for me. The Dali Lama says that the point of life is to be happy and I agree with this completely. Happiness is a fleeting emotion and I vow to chase it every moment I'm alive.
Coming out of a year of deep depression and suicidal tendencies has been more difficult than I could have imagined. I have changed my lifestyle; I work out often and eat naturally, very low carb/gluten, high protein and vegetables. Its been making a big difference in my mood swings and lack of motivation. Although I did just overdo it and had a bad day where I was weak and completely unmotivated. I'm just eager to look and feel better so I push it to hard, I have to take it slow, ease into it.
Another factor that I notice contributed to my physical insecurities was that I haven't really been involved in this site as much as I used to be. SG has given me opportunities I would have never had without this community but also has caused me some heartache and disappointment. I have learned that even though we can't control the world, we can help to shape our destiny in how we view certain situations. In short, try to look on the bright side and act accordingly. I am looking forward to lurking around SG and going to events more often.
doolittle gifted this awesome shirt to me via delivery by Blanch last time I was in AZ. I love it and it has become one of my favorite shirts now! Thanks so much ladies!
I also have the amazing opportunity to attend SDCC so I have been contemplating wardrobe choices and obsessing a little on what I should wear. Any suggestions from folks that go to these sorts of things often? I have a million options if it was a tattoo convention, but comic con O_o
Another venture is to get the fuck outta CA and move back across the Mississippi. I'm trying to find work in East Tennessee, near the smokies. I want to have a small farm, be a taxidermy and live a completely sustainable existence. A girl can dream right?
Catch ya on the flip side
JUN 07, 2012 09:20 AM
Love the shadow photos, I hope you find your inner calm and settle on self love because you are way too gorgeous and awesome and amazing to hate yourself 
and if you need someone to remind you of that, I am always available
JUN 07, 2012 09:33 AM
JUN 07, 2012 10:22 AM
good for you. day by day one sluggish movement at a time. At least your sliding forward and not backward and thats what counts. I often think of insignificance in the grand scheme of things. I also look at it positively like yourself.
I spend every second I can trying to enjoy ever minor aspect of life. Especially cause my genetics has always been working against me and keep me fairly sick weather it be minor or major issues.
Sometimes i allow other people not trying to see things in a positive light upset me but as time progresses I just cut ties with these people. If they cannot flow towards a more positive life I can only wait so long before I fear of being drug into the muck with them.
Keep doing what your doing.
Though I may not truly know you
I believe in you 
I believe in the human spirit
JUN 07, 2012 11:28 AM
If you couldn't tell from my profile pic, i have been battling alcoholism and depression for most of my life. This year I lost my marriage and quit the job I held for seventeen years. I have held onto my pets and my house and am working out everyday. Somedays I am the living dead, others I feel like I could conquer the world. Knowing that you are not alone is the greatest present you can get. Thank you for sharing, your words make it easier to get through today.
JUN 07, 2012 12:37 PM
JUN 07, 2012 12:37 PM
Lurking is a good thing . I find it the best way ( for me at least ) for me to participate on the interwebz . I do make the occasional ninja post , and then run away .
However I don't make progress . I do try to make forward motion through my life , which at this time means not dying . No job , but not negative about it at all ( yet ) . I was totally burned out at my last job , which led to the reasons I got fired . I'm glad to hear you're back doing what you prefer to do at yours .
And while I'd love to see you do more sets , you need to do what's best for you . And you rock either way 
JUN 07, 2012 12:49 PM
glad to see you'll be back around sg.... i'm just getting back in to being on here more now that i am shooting. i'd LOVE to get to shoot you someday
glad you're feeling better...hate that you ever felt bad! 
love your face!
JUN 07, 2012 05:06 PM
JUN 07, 2012 06:43 PM
I find it sad when an amazing, sexy and incredibly beautiful woman feels this way.
I love the eclipse pics and the ones of yourself of course. Your sets are truly awesome!
Kevy
JUN 07, 2012 06:48 PM
Hey girl, nice to know you are OK since your last blog and you are right in all you said. Life is difficult, but also is short, so why live in misery? Take care girl and hope to see more of you here
Wish you the best and good vibes from my part.
JUN 07, 2012 09:15 PM
Hope you find happiness.
JUN 08, 2012 08:59 PM
JUN 09, 2012 01:12 AM
Glad to hear that you are doing better! Best of luck with everything you have planned for the future
JUN 14, 2012 11:28 PM
JUN 15, 2012 08:38 PM
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