i got 2 new tattoos last night...they cost me a 6 pack of guiness...having friends who are tattoo artists works out pretty damn well. my forearms are a bit swollen...so my arms look all fat and shit...oh well. it is well worth it. i can't decide what to do with my hair...to cut side hawks again (because i look 100X better with trihawks than just a mohawk) or to grow the sides out...i am torn...because i love having mohawks, but i have had some for of a mohawk for 7 years now...i need a change...so till i decide i think iwill just have a hawk with spikes on the side...it is a tough call. i feel tired. i am always beat the day after i get a tattoo. i have an hour before i have to be at school...i better make a damn model now...a year and a half to go...then i can move back to civilization...

i don't feel bad for my dumped neighbor anymore. after he was DUMPED he had friends over...they went out on their deck thing and decided to talk all kinds of shit about myself and the other 2 people i live with...just saying all kinds of stuff about the way we look and then that we were rude...????????...it is not like they have been overly nice to us...we tried to talk to them once, but they were not exactly nice. oh well. i am not going to be too broken hearted over the fact that my neighbors don't like me. it doesen't come as a shock to me what so ever. and it is not like it has been the best past 24 hours, but i guess everyday can't be perfect. i am taking abreak from my studio work. i have to go back up in a bit and make sure nobody has set stuff on fire or cut off their arm...i finished making the spoon today...i like it, but it is not really for school work...people would not approve of it and i would just get a new asshole torn if i showed it in a crit...i am also making his and her casket salt and pepper shakers...just for me...but those won't be shown either for the same reason...i am not motivated to make the stuff i should...i guess i am just not feeling too good about my metal work...like it is not good enough. a lot of times i feel like my jewelry sucks...and that maybe i should plan a new route for a career, but there is really nothing i can do. i am almost done with my masters, but i feel like it was all a waste of my time because i am going nowhere. it is like i have soent all this time, energy and money on something that should be a hobby. it is one of those fields where it is almost impossible to "make it." kinda like music...i feel like i waste my time with the band too because it is not like the band will ever do anything or go anywhere...i don't know. sometimes i feel like giving up. or shooting myself in the face...or shooting everyone in the face. if i had it to do all over again i would have gone to college to be a nurse...job security...and you could pick anywhere you wanted to live because nurses are needed everywhere...and the pay is rather well too...but ithere is nothing i can do about the past...or the path i have gone down...because you can't change what it done and i really should not even be wasting my time thinking about things i can never change...

i ate pizza today and now i feel gross. today sucks, but i may be getting a free tattoo tomorrow if everything works out...we shall see...i really need to get my arms done so that the leopard print tattoos don't stand out so much. i like tham...and they were my first tattoos, but sometimes i wish they would wash off...

i need to go have some posters framed...i got some old movie posters off ebay...a lady frankenstein one...and a zombie lake one...and a few others...they will look nice on the walls. i finished painting the dining room wall neon blue...and the bedroom is still a bit of a wreck...it is half painted in neon green...need to muster up the energy to finish helping out on that project.

i get to go back to texas in 2 weeks for a visit. i am pretty excited to see my family. i have not seen any of them since feb. my mom is my bestfriend. i miss her. there is such a void in me when i go too long without seeing her...talking on the phone just doesen't have the same result as seeing someone in person.

well i guess i should head back up to the studio and supervise the activities...then i have to go to my other job...i wanted to see turbonegro tonight, but i think i will be too tired and grumpy to go out and be social. maybe i will call miss krusten...and go hang out with her tonight...she said she was not going to the show either...


the spoon i made has a skull on the end...but it has a bow on its' head...like the tattoo on my leg....

i think my neighbor is being dumped by his woman via cell phone...because the windows are open...and he is out on his deck...and i can hear the entire thing...even though i am on the 3rd story and the decks are on the 2nd story...so even if i go downstairs i can still hear it all...maybe i can go watch the tv and not hear it...because i feel bad for the guy because he was saying "i wanted to marry you" and shit like that...and i don't even know the guy but i still feel really bad for him...broken hearts don't make for good nights...and love is not always fair...i hope it works out for you mr. neighbor, but it sounds really bad...............

yay! i got my sg care package today...it made my day. went and got a new ring for my septum...la la la la...now i have to go to class...and after that i think i am going to a friend house for a girls night thing...i never do much of anything besides work and school so i am excited... okay...of to class

would someone please rip out my uterus...the aunt should be here tomorrow and i already feel her wrath.
the house is so clean. it feels good. i have been doing laundry all morning...my mom called and woke me up to inform me of the parking tickets i need to pay...they mailed the shit to her...i was hoping they would just go away...i suppose i will pay them tomorrow...or later today. i am glad friday is payday...all the bills are due...rent and the such. sometimes i wish i could vanish...so i could be exempt from all the real world crap...i want a real job...one where i make decent money so there is not the paycheck to paycheck bullshit. a year and a half more of gradschool...ick...i even hate school...90% of the time anyway...because i feel so burned out...i just want to be lazy...i hope winter comes soon...the snow always makes me more energetic and upbeat...i need to order silver...i need to do school work...i need to grade the shit that i told my students i would give back to them tomorrow...it is going to be a busy night...

my computer bit the dust the other night...i had to reformat the hard drive and put everything back on it...my computer had ME...ME really sucks. so i put XP on it and it appears to be running better than it ever has in the past...i don't even know why it came with ME.
i need to clean the house tonight because we are having company tomorrow. i am not dealing with the basement though...mike lives down there and i never venture down there execpt to do laundry. livig with my bandmates is nice, but we have all our equipment all over the house. we need to find a new practice space to put all that shit in since we lost the last one. it sucks having amps and a drum kit taking up all that space. well mike just yelled up at me...wanting to know if i wanted to go get food...i am not hungry, but am thirsty and will go along for the drive through at some random fast food place so i can get a soda.

i am feeling very lonely and invisible today. not motivated to do any school work...


..::you had nine lives and one by one you chewed them up::..

the unseen show was okay...didn't watch the dropkick murphys because i think they are annoying....we had practice on sunday...wrote a bunch of new songs. we are on hiatus till halloween...because we replaced one member and wanted to write more involved songs. it is going rather well. found an awesome book today at the book store...on british modern jewelry. it has a section on shaun leane who is my favorite jewelry designer. i feel inspired now. i like the new ideas i have. i think i am going to change my photography style when shooting my jewelry. it is too static. i have ides of how i want the photos to look. i need a new backdrop...like bright blue or red...and i want to star including the model more in the photo...maybe i will just start using myself as the model...i think i might take my next sg set myself too...maybe, but that won't be for a few months...gotta wait for the first set to go live. i took both my cats to the vet today...now they both hate me...it was time for rwandas shots...and i had poor mr. bouch dag fixed...i pick him up in the morning...they are keeping him over night. okay....gotta go to my lame ass class. sometimes graduate school puts a wrench in what i would rather be doing...oh well...

okay kids...i am new here, but my set has not gone live yet...just thought i would update my journal...look around the site...and figure out how this whole thing works...because i have never looked at the site past the entry page and all the stuff to apply to be a suicide girl...its my day off...it is nice out today...it has been raining since i woke up...nice and cool as well...i just can't wait for winter...hot weather is a bitch...and if i wanted to deal with it i would live in texas...i wold take the snow over the sun anyday...i think i shall clean house today as well...my roomates are a bit messy...i am the only one who does the dishes... ...laundry needs to be done too...and i need to go buy a ticket for the unseen show tomorrow...it is a small venue and they are playing with the dropkick murphys so it might sell out...i live in the middle of nowhere where nothing good ever happens...so i have to jump at the chance to do anything that i enjoy even just a little...i suppose i should go buy that now before the ticket place closes...man this skull is cool and there is a damn pirate and some dude that looks like strong bads cousin now thats cool.

i wonder if you can spell check this thing...i spell like shit...or i type like shit...or something like that...