PICS
Well go me! I'll be doing a mini tour from Vancouver Island to Victoria February 12-14. Come see me perform!
xoxo
Sydni
(If you haven't, go mbate to my new set and tell them you love it)
Oh, and hahahaha!
xoxo
Sydni
(If you haven't, go mbate to my new set and tell them you love it)
Oh, and hahahaha!
What to do and not to do as a good burlesque performer.
(Copied and pasted from my blog on myspace: www.myspace.com/Thechocolateglamazon)
Let's face it kids. There's good burlesque, and bad burlesque. You've seen it. You've wanted to ask for your money back. Bad music, boring awkward performers, girls that look like they just walked off the street and are trying it for the first time....
Not everyone likes the same thing, but here's a few things that some of my peers and I have discussed.
1. Get a name and make it yours. Make it unique. If you are trying to rip off a more famous performer than yourself with your name, you suck. I'm sorry, but you do. I'm sure you think you're being clever, or somehow it will make you seem more interesting, but unless you're an interesting performer, it doesn't matter what your name is. Also, make sure you can get away with your name. NO ONE but Ultra could pull off that fucking name, because he's Ultra fabulous. If your name has the word "Sassy" in it, make sure your are, etc.
2. If you decide to be a peeler, please look at yourself from all angles in the mirrors.
*Cut off your tags please!
*Please gussy up your underwear a bit. Sears panties look bad.
*the tinier the better! Hottie McNaughty and I were having a conversation the other night about this. She's not into the thong, but she is into butt cleavage. I'm a big fan of tiny thong underwear. We both agree that there should be some element of risque in your panties.
*Wearing a corset every act is boring.
*Wearing ruffle butt panties every act is VERY boring
*Wearing black fishnets every act is annoying.
*you don't have to have tassels on the pasties. Not twirling? Don't worry about tassels!
*just because you might be a big girl doesn't mean you have to wear huge granny panties. For a great reference, please go to youtube and watch videos of Dirty Martini. I want to do Dirty things to Dirty Martini. She's simply fabulous.
3. HAVE STAGE PRESENCE!
Sorry, you can't buy this. Granted, not everyone has me on their favorite burlesque gal list, but I've been told since I was 15 that I had amazing stage presence. What I've witnessed over the years of being obsessed with watching live performances, is that you can't buy it. You either have it, or don't. This does not mean that having stage presence will make your act especially interesting unless you make it so. Conversely, I've seen amazing dancers have no stage presence, and unfortunately, maybe they should just teach. It's that French je ne sai quoi thing, ya know?
4. If your going to do the "Classic" strip tease thing, at least be really good at it. I recommend watching videos of Catherine D'Lish, and then perhaps considering giving up altogether. I rarely do "classic" numbers because I can't take myself that seriously. I would simply start laughing on stage. It's not my cup of tea, and it may not be yours either.
5. Ladies, please stop with the Cock in the Mouth face (CITM) throughout your whole act. It looks icky. Try smiling! Try closing your mouth! I personally suggest practicing face expressions in the mirror while mimicking your act to the music. This is how you will find out if you are a culprit of CITM.
6. If you are embarrassed to be on stage, we will be embarrassed for you. This makes an awkward situation. If you can't be fierce when you step on the stage, (Nerves are normal-I have to do funny breathing and talk to myself before I get on stage) THEN STAY THE FUCK OF THE STAGE. Go take some great classes from some of the greats, like Miss Indigo Blue, do some soul searching as to whether you've really found your calling and then stick to your guns.
7. Be courteous. BE ON TIME! sure, sometimes you have to be late, but either prearrange it or have your producer on speed dial. There are a few chronically late performers in this town, and they are fucking with the start times of shows. So be on time! And producers: start punishing.
8. Do your damn hair please. Okay? Thanks. This means brushing, curling, pinning setting etc. Your costume DOES INCLUDE your hair. Invest in quality wigs. I learned that the hard way. Miss Indigo Blue was so good as to point that out to me.
9. MAKEUP: if you aren't wearing eyelashes, I'm disappointed in you. Actually, a lot of us are. We can't see your eyes from back here! you look unfinished! If you are uncomfortable wearing makeup, you are in the wrong art form. Perhaps you should consider a different avenue. Take a makeup class. More is *usually* better on stage. Just watch the blush. *shudder*
PS: yes, you do need lipstick and liner. It makes the occasional intentional CITM face look amazing.
10. Shoes. Yes.....we are looking at your feet. And some of your shoes are ugly. Chunky heels are a little outdated, depending on the look your going for. Again, if you can't dance or walk in at least 3" stilettos, you might be in the wrong line of work.
*this does not include those of you trained dancers that use ballroom or character shoes. I get it, they're more sturdy for the awesome stuff you're about to do. -Just remember-rhinestones and appliques can totally go on shoes too. Spice em up!
11. Watch a ton of burlesque. Submerge yourself in it. Swim in it! Breathe it. If you just want to take off your clothes in cute little costumes and have men oogle you, I suggest a trip down to your local strip club on contest night to get it out of your system.
12. You don't have to have a ton of money to put into your costume (though it is nice), you need to pay attention to how it fits, and the tiny touches, the embellishments and alterations. It's how it looks, not how much it costs. But unfortunately, I've seen some acts that just look cheap. If you're no good at putting together a costume, hire someone to do it for you. Seriously, it's better this way.
13. If you can't get past your body flaws for the 3 minutes you're on stage, none of us are. If you're walking on the stage thinking about how chubby you feel, it's going to show on your face. You're going to look uncomfortable, and that's when people are going to go to the bar or grab a cigarette. True story.
14. Don't get hammered before or during your show. I've done it before. It aint pretty, and you are ripping off the audience. *silently apologizes for some past actions*
15. If you can't twirl, just don't. Please.
If I would have had someone tell me all this stuff, I would have been better off sooner.
Now that's done, go comment on MY SET "T&A IN THE USA" and make my inauguration dreams come true!
xoxo
Sydni
(Copied and pasted from my blog on myspace: www.myspace.com/Thechocolateglamazon)
Let's face it kids. There's good burlesque, and bad burlesque. You've seen it. You've wanted to ask for your money back. Bad music, boring awkward performers, girls that look like they just walked off the street and are trying it for the first time....
Not everyone likes the same thing, but here's a few things that some of my peers and I have discussed.
1. Get a name and make it yours. Make it unique. If you are trying to rip off a more famous performer than yourself with your name, you suck. I'm sorry, but you do. I'm sure you think you're being clever, or somehow it will make you seem more interesting, but unless you're an interesting performer, it doesn't matter what your name is. Also, make sure you can get away with your name. NO ONE but Ultra could pull off that fucking name, because he's Ultra fabulous. If your name has the word "Sassy" in it, make sure your are, etc.
2. If you decide to be a peeler, please look at yourself from all angles in the mirrors.
*Cut off your tags please!
*Please gussy up your underwear a bit. Sears panties look bad.
*the tinier the better! Hottie McNaughty and I were having a conversation the other night about this. She's not into the thong, but she is into butt cleavage. I'm a big fan of tiny thong underwear. We both agree that there should be some element of risque in your panties.
*Wearing a corset every act is boring.
*Wearing ruffle butt panties every act is VERY boring
*Wearing black fishnets every act is annoying.
*you don't have to have tassels on the pasties. Not twirling? Don't worry about tassels!
*just because you might be a big girl doesn't mean you have to wear huge granny panties. For a great reference, please go to youtube and watch videos of Dirty Martini. I want to do Dirty things to Dirty Martini. She's simply fabulous.
3. HAVE STAGE PRESENCE!
Sorry, you can't buy this. Granted, not everyone has me on their favorite burlesque gal list, but I've been told since I was 15 that I had amazing stage presence. What I've witnessed over the years of being obsessed with watching live performances, is that you can't buy it. You either have it, or don't. This does not mean that having stage presence will make your act especially interesting unless you make it so. Conversely, I've seen amazing dancers have no stage presence, and unfortunately, maybe they should just teach. It's that French je ne sai quoi thing, ya know?
4. If your going to do the "Classic" strip tease thing, at least be really good at it. I recommend watching videos of Catherine D'Lish, and then perhaps considering giving up altogether. I rarely do "classic" numbers because I can't take myself that seriously. I would simply start laughing on stage. It's not my cup of tea, and it may not be yours either.
5. Ladies, please stop with the Cock in the Mouth face (CITM) throughout your whole act. It looks icky. Try smiling! Try closing your mouth! I personally suggest practicing face expressions in the mirror while mimicking your act to the music. This is how you will find out if you are a culprit of CITM.
6. If you are embarrassed to be on stage, we will be embarrassed for you. This makes an awkward situation. If you can't be fierce when you step on the stage, (Nerves are normal-I have to do funny breathing and talk to myself before I get on stage) THEN STAY THE FUCK OF THE STAGE. Go take some great classes from some of the greats, like Miss Indigo Blue, do some soul searching as to whether you've really found your calling and then stick to your guns.
7. Be courteous. BE ON TIME! sure, sometimes you have to be late, but either prearrange it or have your producer on speed dial. There are a few chronically late performers in this town, and they are fucking with the start times of shows. So be on time! And producers: start punishing.
8. Do your damn hair please. Okay? Thanks. This means brushing, curling, pinning setting etc. Your costume DOES INCLUDE your hair. Invest in quality wigs. I learned that the hard way. Miss Indigo Blue was so good as to point that out to me.
9. MAKEUP: if you aren't wearing eyelashes, I'm disappointed in you. Actually, a lot of us are. We can't see your eyes from back here! you look unfinished! If you are uncomfortable wearing makeup, you are in the wrong art form. Perhaps you should consider a different avenue. Take a makeup class. More is *usually* better on stage. Just watch the blush. *shudder*
PS: yes, you do need lipstick and liner. It makes the occasional intentional CITM face look amazing.
10. Shoes. Yes.....we are looking at your feet. And some of your shoes are ugly. Chunky heels are a little outdated, depending on the look your going for. Again, if you can't dance or walk in at least 3" stilettos, you might be in the wrong line of work.
*this does not include those of you trained dancers that use ballroom or character shoes. I get it, they're more sturdy for the awesome stuff you're about to do. -Just remember-rhinestones and appliques can totally go on shoes too. Spice em up!
11. Watch a ton of burlesque. Submerge yourself in it. Swim in it! Breathe it. If you just want to take off your clothes in cute little costumes and have men oogle you, I suggest a trip down to your local strip club on contest night to get it out of your system.
12. You don't have to have a ton of money to put into your costume (though it is nice), you need to pay attention to how it fits, and the tiny touches, the embellishments and alterations. It's how it looks, not how much it costs. But unfortunately, I've seen some acts that just look cheap. If you're no good at putting together a costume, hire someone to do it for you. Seriously, it's better this way.
13. If you can't get past your body flaws for the 3 minutes you're on stage, none of us are. If you're walking on the stage thinking about how chubby you feel, it's going to show on your face. You're going to look uncomfortable, and that's when people are going to go to the bar or grab a cigarette. True story.
14. Don't get hammered before or during your show. I've done it before. It aint pretty, and you are ripping off the audience. *silently apologizes for some past actions*
15. If you can't twirl, just don't. Please.
If I would have had someone tell me all this stuff, I would have been better off sooner.
Now that's done, go comment on MY SET "T&A IN THE USA" and make my inauguration dreams come true!
xoxo
Sydni
Thanks for all the love on my new set up in Member Review!! Keep the love coming and I may get a chance to go up on inauguration day!!!
In other news, I am very tired and very inspired. I just got done with a weekend of BurlyCon, a convention consisting of classes, discussions and workshops all pertaining to producing and performing burlesque. While there, I had the honor of taking classes from Catherine D'lish (my mom even bought me a private lesson!) who can tout Dita as her protege. She also makes all of Dita's costumes, as well as her own. This woman is epic. This woman called me entertaining and talented, and I almost turned bright red, which is hard to do, you know, with all the melanin. This is Catherine:
I'm so excited for burlesque. Again. I know, it doesn't take much.
I am currently excited for two projects, one involving a kiddy pool filled with fake koolade, and a watermelon chair. I am going to piss people off. Heh.
xoxo
Sydni
In other news, I am very tired and very inspired. I just got done with a weekend of BurlyCon, a convention consisting of classes, discussions and workshops all pertaining to producing and performing burlesque. While there, I had the honor of taking classes from Catherine D'lish (my mom even bought me a private lesson!) who can tout Dita as her protege. She also makes all of Dita's costumes, as well as her own. This woman is epic. This woman called me entertaining and talented, and I almost turned bright red, which is hard to do, you know, with all the melanin. This is Catherine:
I'm so excited for burlesque. Again. I know, it doesn't take much.
I am currently excited for two projects, one involving a kiddy pool filled with fake koolade, and a watermelon chair. I am going to piss people off. Heh.
xoxo
Sydni
Today I am so proud to be an American.
I am so inspired by Obama and the message of hope he carries to us as a nation and to the world.
As someone who at times has in the past struggled to be proud of either race I am, I am so proud and honored to be both.
Go make my inauguration dreams come true by commenting on my set and getting it on the front page on that day.
YES WE CAN!
xoxo
Sydni
I am so inspired by Obama and the message of hope he carries to us as a nation and to the world.
As someone who at times has in the past struggled to be proud of either race I am, I am so proud and honored to be both.
Go make my inauguration dreams come true by commenting on my set and getting it on the front page on that day.
YES WE CAN!
xoxo
Sydni
Tomorrow my new set, "T&A in the USA" goes up in Member Review. I hope you show it some love. It's been a long time since I've shot. My friend and show photographer POC photo (here's his Flickr) shot it for me. Below are 2 teasers.
It would mean a lot to me if it got accepted, for a multitude of reasons, one being my feeling that this set accurately depicts my personality and aesthetic, and another having to do with seeing how different you can really be on this site and get something accepted.
I'm particularly excited for weird PM's. Those are my favorites. I get a lot of jollies out of those.
xoxo
PS: Go out and VOTE! GO OBAMA GO!
It would mean a lot to me if it got accepted, for a multitude of reasons, one being my feeling that this set accurately depicts my personality and aesthetic, and another having to do with seeing how different you can really be on this site and get something accepted.
I'm particularly excited for weird PM's. Those are my favorites. I get a lot of jollies out of those.
xoxo
PS: Go out and VOTE! GO OBAMA GO!
My set goes up in Member Review November 3rd. Just in time for the election. I hope to get all your love, since it's fabulous, and I haven't shot a set in years.
I'll post a teaser on November 1st.
In other news, Niko and I are no longer boyfriend and girlfriend. We both don't know what this means yet, as we both don't want to be with anyone else and still love each other a lot. Niko has a lot to figure out, and I feel like my insides are being pulled out and set on fire. I'm devastated, but I don't know what to expect because neither of us know if it's really over.
I kept it secret for awhile since we've technically been apart for a few months now, but we see each other about 2-4 times a week and talk every day. See? Confusing. Everyday I wake up a little more confused and sad. I cry a lot, but I'm completely unwilling to tell him to go away and neither is he. Things changed when he began his new business. I don't know how to hope, but I don't know how to give up on him either.
I kinda hope Samling is reading this, because her advice is the only kind that ever made sense. I need some sense in my life lately; I'm completely tongue-tied and unable to even make make basic decisions like "what should I eat today?" "should I wash my hair?".
So yeah. I don't know how long I'll be out of it, but some of you know that I've not been around very much lately. Now you know why. I can't even focus. I spend most of my time trying to escape reality by reading, staying away from booze (which means staying away from my friends who love booze), and staring at walls till I go to sleep.
Welcome to my personal hell.
I'll post a teaser on November 1st.
In other news, Niko and I are no longer boyfriend and girlfriend. We both don't know what this means yet, as we both don't want to be with anyone else and still love each other a lot. Niko has a lot to figure out, and I feel like my insides are being pulled out and set on fire. I'm devastated, but I don't know what to expect because neither of us know if it's really over.
I kept it secret for awhile since we've technically been apart for a few months now, but we see each other about 2-4 times a week and talk every day. See? Confusing. Everyday I wake up a little more confused and sad. I cry a lot, but I'm completely unwilling to tell him to go away and neither is he. Things changed when he began his new business. I don't know how to hope, but I don't know how to give up on him either.
I kinda hope Samling is reading this, because her advice is the only kind that ever made sense. I need some sense in my life lately; I'm completely tongue-tied and unable to even make make basic decisions like "what should I eat today?" "should I wash my hair?".
So yeah. I don't know how long I'll be out of it, but some of you know that I've not been around very much lately. Now you know why. I can't even focus. I spend most of my time trying to escape reality by reading, staying away from booze (which means staying away from my friends who love booze), and staring at walls till I go to sleep.
Welcome to my personal hell.
Uploaded my set today. *looks up at profile pictures* can you guess? Let's see if it gets accepted. You'll know when I know!
*crosses fingers*
xoxo
Sydni
*crosses fingers*
xoxo
Sydni
1. I love my new set! I should be uploading it this weekend. *crosses fingers* I'm aching to tell you the title of it because I'm so fucking clever, but I wouldn't dream of giving it away.
2. I have been sucked into the Twilight series. I read the first one within a 24 hour period, this including sleep and working 8 hours. I'm a sucker for a vampire novel.
3. I spent money I do not have for this book. It should have gone to gas. Ugh.
4. This morning I left Niko all cute and cuddly in my bed. I came home to find my bed made with a piece of paper simply saying "love you" on it. I love him so.
xo
Sydni
2. I have been sucked into the Twilight series. I read the first one within a 24 hour period, this including sleep and working 8 hours. I'm a sucker for a vampire novel.
3. I spent money I do not have for this book. It should have gone to gas. Ugh.
4. This morning I left Niko all cute and cuddly in my bed. I came home to find my bed made with a piece of paper simply saying "love you" on it. I love him so.
xo
Sydni
