PICS
*computer geek*
*
i busted my right knee yesterday, i don't know how. all i know is that it hurts as hell right now, and it doesnt look pretty either.
*
no, i didnt go to the gym. instead, i cleaned the apartment from 3 to 9 pm.
*
yeah, 6 hours is a lot. but i am a meticulous person. plus Master was home and in the way. that is why i always rather do my chores when i am alone.
*
*
woke up early, again. i just am not able to go back to sleep after Master leaves for work.
*
but spent the last 2 hours editing photos to create a BME account. sharpness, focus, contrast, size... and of course, my logo.
*
some photos i just love. well, there are a lot of photos.
*
*
sometimes it can be irritating to have a man around.
*
yesterday i was quite stressed and angry.
*
no, i never talk about these things. that's why i write about these things.
*
but the order i created yesterday looks quite chaotic already today.
*
yes, i am a slave, and a domestic one. but i would be thrilled not to find anymore chocolate on the kitchen floor.
*
(last nights dishes still in the sink)
*
*
" waited..
my complicated,overrated girl
You know that I hated,we suffocated
and Overstated everything
Why can't you be bi-sexual instead of bi-polar?"
(bowling for soup - bipolar)
*
*
still got cramps today. its gonna be a tough call.
*
darn this computer!
*
and yesterday i got thru quite a few items on my list. supermarket, post office, bank, cleaning...
*
but i got laundry to do now... and its cold. and i do my laundry manually, so go figure.
*
a bitchin'...
*
*
i'm trying to keep off philosophy. but the mother-fucker just wont let me be.
*
msn conversation, with an old fuck buddy, yesterday:
him: so, are you living alone.
me: no, you know i have a Master.
him: oh, you are still doing that kind of thing?
me: have you ever seen me give up on something?
him: no. never.
me: right. i never give up. i just get bored and quit.
him: so you aren't bored yet?
me: don't think so. i finally found someone who is capable of startling me.
*
i have strange im conversations. really strange.
*
and way too many ex fuck buddys on my list
*
ouch.
*
*
i must confess that i feel jealous of foolish things.
*
luckily, me and Master have a completely different taste for women. luckily?
*
how the hell did He ever pick me?
*
but i got my 5 educational lashes last night.
*
i just feel quite off.
*
(probably the blood loss)
*
*
dunno. i feel strange.
*
(emo.)
*
*
"All we need is love and beer
And old school metal and holiday cheer
TO be happy
(All you need is someone near)
like ben and jerry
(to hold you close and pretend that they care)
can we all just, get along now
we found something that we all have in common now
we can hold hands, do keg stands
water skiing sounds great to me now
Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it
la la la la la la
all we needs a harmony and we'll convince the world to sing
la la la la la la
throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)
maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe we're a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream and a hug
All we need is love and beer
all we need is some ice cream and a hug
all we need is some ice cream and a hug
all we need is some ice cream and a hug"
(shut up and smile - bowling for soup)
*
maybe i happy song will do.
*
*
i busted my right knee yesterday, i don't know how. all i know is that it hurts as hell right now, and it doesnt look pretty either.
*
no, i didnt go to the gym. instead, i cleaned the apartment from 3 to 9 pm.
*
yeah, 6 hours is a lot. but i am a meticulous person. plus Master was home and in the way. that is why i always rather do my chores when i am alone.
*
*
woke up early, again. i just am not able to go back to sleep after Master leaves for work.
*
but spent the last 2 hours editing photos to create a BME account. sharpness, focus, contrast, size... and of course, my logo.
*
some photos i just love. well, there are a lot of photos.
*
*
sometimes it can be irritating to have a man around.
*
yesterday i was quite stressed and angry.
*
no, i never talk about these things. that's why i write about these things.
*
but the order i created yesterday looks quite chaotic already today.
*
yes, i am a slave, and a domestic one. but i would be thrilled not to find anymore chocolate on the kitchen floor.
*
(last nights dishes still in the sink)
*
*
" waited..
my complicated,overrated girl
You know that I hated,we suffocated
and Overstated everything
Why can't you be bi-sexual instead of bi-polar?"
(bowling for soup - bipolar)
*
*
still got cramps today. its gonna be a tough call.
*
darn this computer!
*
and yesterday i got thru quite a few items on my list. supermarket, post office, bank, cleaning...
*
but i got laundry to do now... and its cold. and i do my laundry manually, so go figure.
*
a bitchin'...
*
*
i'm trying to keep off philosophy. but the mother-fucker just wont let me be.
*
msn conversation, with an old fuck buddy, yesterday:
him: so, are you living alone.
me: no, you know i have a Master.
him: oh, you are still doing that kind of thing?
me: have you ever seen me give up on something?
him: no. never.
me: right. i never give up. i just get bored and quit.
him: so you aren't bored yet?
me: don't think so. i finally found someone who is capable of startling me.
*
i have strange im conversations. really strange.
*
and way too many ex fuck buddys on my list
*
ouch.
*
*
i must confess that i feel jealous of foolish things.
*
luckily, me and Master have a completely different taste for women. luckily?
*
how the hell did He ever pick me?
*
but i got my 5 educational lashes last night.
*
i just feel quite off.
*
(probably the blood loss)
*
*
dunno. i feel strange.
*
(emo.)
*
*
"All we need is love and beer
And old school metal and holiday cheer
TO be happy
(All you need is someone near)
like ben and jerry
(to hold you close and pretend that they care)
can we all just, get along now
we found something that we all have in common now
we can hold hands, do keg stands
water skiing sounds great to me now
Sail around the world and tell them all to keep singing it
la la la la la la
all we needs a harmony and we'll convince the world to sing
la la la la la la
throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)
maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe we're a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream and a hug
All we need is love and beer
all we need is some ice cream and a hug
all we need is some ice cream and a hug
all we need is some ice cream and a hug"
(shut up and smile - bowling for soup)
*
maybe i happy song will do.
*
*monday morning, won't i ever get outta bed?*
*
for the third time in 6 weeks, it's that time of the month again. it's really pissing me off now.
*
strange. the last two photo shoots it was that time. i wonder if it was that (nah...)
*
been an hour Master has left for work. i gotta get up some time soon.
*
just lingering on-line.
*
*
so for the first time ever i asked Master to hurt me yesterday.
*
i love the bruises.
*
and all my chores done, we just cuddled, and i lay in His lap as He was online.
*
later on we went to the mall with His daughter.
*
and ate till we could take no more.
*
(that has to stop, i'm hating my size)
*
and i should stop telling myself that i am just bloated. nhah. back to the stair master.
*
i guess i've been spending too much time here. my other web stuff is a bit neglected. gotta get to myspace and slave register.
*
About time to go home last night, Master's daughter started acting out, so i put on my earphones and turned my back to it. but then i got lost from Master and it felt terribly scary and awful... for five minutes.
*
we got home really late, and i had bad cramps, so we went straight to bed.
*
so much on my to do list already, and it keeps growing. i guess first thing is making some coffee...
*
awwww, caffeinne.
*
*
(new hair photos)
*
*
"surviving the insult day to day
they give you the insult to make it go away
and o-oh what can i say?
i got a wine swept smile and a well-timed mile
i've been running since i heard they'd sooner see us die
than o-oh come and die next to us"
(Jets To Brazil - Your X-Rays Have Just Come Back From The Lab And We Think We Know What Your Problem Is)
*
*
for the third time in 6 weeks, it's that time of the month again. it's really pissing me off now.
*
strange. the last two photo shoots it was that time. i wonder if it was that (nah...)
*
been an hour Master has left for work. i gotta get up some time soon.
*
just lingering on-line.
*
*
so for the first time ever i asked Master to hurt me yesterday.
*
i love the bruises.
*
and all my chores done, we just cuddled, and i lay in His lap as He was online.
*
later on we went to the mall with His daughter.
*
and ate till we could take no more.
*
(that has to stop, i'm hating my size)
*
and i should stop telling myself that i am just bloated. nhah. back to the stair master.
*
i guess i've been spending too much time here. my other web stuff is a bit neglected. gotta get to myspace and slave register.
*
About time to go home last night, Master's daughter started acting out, so i put on my earphones and turned my back to it. but then i got lost from Master and it felt terribly scary and awful... for five minutes.
*
we got home really late, and i had bad cramps, so we went straight to bed.
*
so much on my to do list already, and it keeps growing. i guess first thing is making some coffee...
*
awwww, caffeinne.
*
*
(new hair photos)
*
*
"surviving the insult day to day
they give you the insult to make it go away
and o-oh what can i say?
i got a wine swept smile and a well-timed mile
i've been running since i heard they'd sooner see us die
than o-oh come and die next to us"
(Jets To Brazil - Your X-Rays Have Just Come Back From The Lab And We Think We Know What Your Problem Is)
*
(everything in moderation. especially moderation).
*
lazy sunday with Master, at home. it feels great. although doing house chores and cooking in nothing but a hooters t-shirt is absurdly tacky.
*
and last night i was too tired to go out and booze. sad. i hate missing out on saturday nights.
*
but i felt really tired and strange, because my body was tingly all over for some reason.
*
(i'm starting to not feel so submissive. i think i need a good flogging)
*
and i spent some hours online while Master was in the pool with His daughter editing photos of my new hair do.
*
because i really don't know how i feel about it. up to now, i really like it.
*
but the photos are in the other computer, so i can't post them now.
*
nhah...
*
back to my chores. old photo, but i like it.
*
*
"Everything In Moderation (Especially Moderation)" - NOFX
39 My hair should be parted not spiked and green
My nights should end at 10 and not 6 am
But it is and they don't
I still get excited when the Adolescents play
Wake up not knowing what I did last night
Finding out and thinking that was cool and not sad
I might be an adult but I'm still a minor at heart
OK my liver is my senior part
But that's a part you can trade in
When your band has been a band longer than the Ramones
And critics coin you "the punk Rolling Stones"
That's when you know this is for life
*
*
lazy sunday with Master, at home. it feels great. although doing house chores and cooking in nothing but a hooters t-shirt is absurdly tacky.
*
and last night i was too tired to go out and booze. sad. i hate missing out on saturday nights.
*
but i felt really tired and strange, because my body was tingly all over for some reason.
*
(i'm starting to not feel so submissive. i think i need a good flogging)
*
and i spent some hours online while Master was in the pool with His daughter editing photos of my new hair do.
*
because i really don't know how i feel about it. up to now, i really like it.
*
but the photos are in the other computer, so i can't post them now.
*
nhah...
*
back to my chores. old photo, but i like it.
*
*
"Everything In Moderation (Especially Moderation)" - NOFX
39 My hair should be parted not spiked and green
My nights should end at 10 and not 6 am
But it is and they don't
I still get excited when the Adolescents play
Wake up not knowing what I did last night
Finding out and thinking that was cool and not sad
I might be an adult but I'm still a minor at heart
OK my liver is my senior part
But that's a part you can trade in
When your band has been a band longer than the Ramones
And critics coin you "the punk Rolling Stones"
That's when you know this is for life
*
"To be or not to be -
That is not the question!
I decided long ago to be!
With me, it's what to be,
Now, make me some suggestions,
Good or bad,
Which is the best for me?
When you're after fun and laughter, this aggravates you,
Some reformers say a warmer climate awaits you!
If it's naughty to rouge your lips,
Shake your shoulders and shake your hips,
Let a lady confess, I want to be bad!
If it's naughty to vamp the men,
Sleep each morning till after ten,
Then the answer is yes, I want to be bad!
This thing of being a good little goodie is all very well,
What can you do when you're loaded with plenty of health
And vigor.
When you're learning what lips are for,
And it's naughty to ask for more,
Let a lady confess, I want to be bad!
Oh, if it's naughty to rouge your lips,
Shake your shoulders and shake your hips,
Then, let a lady confess, I want to be bad!
Boop-boop-a-doop!
And, if it's naughty to vamp the men,
Sleep each morning till after ten,
Then the answer is yes, I want to be bad!
Nobody cares just how blue and how lonesome I am!
If I have troubles and laugh, why they don't give a dam-
Sel credit.
If it's wrong to let someone take,
Just a little kiss by mistake,
Let a lady confess, I want to be ba-da-da-da-da-da
Bad!"
I want to be bad - Helen Kane
That is not the question!
I decided long ago to be!
With me, it's what to be,
Now, make me some suggestions,
Good or bad,
Which is the best for me?
When you're after fun and laughter, this aggravates you,
Some reformers say a warmer climate awaits you!
If it's naughty to rouge your lips,
Shake your shoulders and shake your hips,
Let a lady confess, I want to be bad!
If it's naughty to vamp the men,
Sleep each morning till after ten,
Then the answer is yes, I want to be bad!
This thing of being a good little goodie is all very well,
What can you do when you're loaded with plenty of health
And vigor.
When you're learning what lips are for,
And it's naughty to ask for more,
Let a lady confess, I want to be bad!
Oh, if it's naughty to rouge your lips,
Shake your shoulders and shake your hips,
Then, let a lady confess, I want to be bad!
Boop-boop-a-doop!
And, if it's naughty to vamp the men,
Sleep each morning till after ten,
Then the answer is yes, I want to be bad!
Nobody cares just how blue and how lonesome I am!
If I have troubles and laugh, why they don't give a dam-
Sel credit.
If it's wrong to let someone take,
Just a little kiss by mistake,
Let a lady confess, I want to be ba-da-da-da-da-da
Bad!"
I want to be bad - Helen Kane
*
the difference is visible when Master is around.
*
and now that He is back and i have quit that awful vanilla job, it will be a true 24/7 M/s lifestyle.
*
(i love when He feeds me candy...)
*
its just sooo fascinating to observe how i can actually still be a riot grrl, and at the same time, be His submissive pet. i like that He likes to doll me up.
*
*
it felt good to come home. home is here now. with Him.
*
and our intimacy.
*
so after an 8 hour over-night bumpy bus trip, i arrived. and unpacked and tidyied up as quick as i could.
*
to doll up for Him.
*
He likes cute. He says its better than sexy. i agree. so i go for cute, every time. as He had requested, i got my nails done black. as He had requested, i corseted my genital captive rings with a black ribbon. to complement, i laced up my nipple rings as well. Ribbon overdose? well, in Fruits Basket they call it masculine romantic imagination.
*
i got some nice surprises today. One was to receive a letter. A letter! Wow, it had been years. ´Cute, in kawaii paper, and really personal.
*
*
got other surprises too. already busted my feet for the day in one of them. nhah...
*
and now i have permanent sterling silver bells for my nipple rings. cute. really cute. luckily, they don't buldge that much under the bra.
*
and peanut butter. (that is dangerous). and cute panty hose. and drooling for VS makeup.
*
but most important, Master is back. no more feeling like a "home alone" pet.
*
*
i guess Master missed me too. but i love bruises, so it's ok. it was a good workout. nhah.
*
that got me sitting funny for tonight. nhah again.
*
but then we had to hang out with His daughter. she actually finds it funny when i growl at her. 5 year olds...
*
supermarket. oh the daily life chores. turned fun by the fact i did it barefoot.
*
and now, the rock bar. Master says i look a bit trashy. fun. long live the queen Courtney...
*
*
l.o.v.e.
*
the night is young and i already got the tingly signs of a hangover.
*
(i better hit the gym tomorrow).
*
the difference is visible when Master is around.
*
and now that He is back and i have quit that awful vanilla job, it will be a true 24/7 M/s lifestyle.
*
(i love when He feeds me candy...)
*
its just sooo fascinating to observe how i can actually still be a riot grrl, and at the same time, be His submissive pet. i like that He likes to doll me up.
*
*
it felt good to come home. home is here now. with Him.
*
and our intimacy.
*
so after an 8 hour over-night bumpy bus trip, i arrived. and unpacked and tidyied up as quick as i could.
*
to doll up for Him.
*
He likes cute. He says its better than sexy. i agree. so i go for cute, every time. as He had requested, i got my nails done black. as He had requested, i corseted my genital captive rings with a black ribbon. to complement, i laced up my nipple rings as well. Ribbon overdose? well, in Fruits Basket they call it masculine romantic imagination.
*
i got some nice surprises today. One was to receive a letter. A letter! Wow, it had been years. ´Cute, in kawaii paper, and really personal.
*
*
got other surprises too. already busted my feet for the day in one of them. nhah...
*
and now i have permanent sterling silver bells for my nipple rings. cute. really cute. luckily, they don't buldge that much under the bra.
*
and peanut butter. (that is dangerous). and cute panty hose. and drooling for VS makeup.
*
but most important, Master is back. no more feeling like a "home alone" pet.
*
*
i guess Master missed me too. but i love bruises, so it's ok. it was a good workout. nhah.
*
that got me sitting funny for tonight. nhah again.
*
but then we had to hang out with His daughter. she actually finds it funny when i growl at her. 5 year olds...
*
supermarket. oh the daily life chores. turned fun by the fact i did it barefoot.
*
and now, the rock bar. Master says i look a bit trashy. fun. long live the queen Courtney...
*
*
l.o.v.e.
*
the night is young and i already got the tingly signs of a hangover.
*
(i better hit the gym tomorrow).
*
*
why is it that when people repeat kind words, we actually believe them?
*
and when they tell you over and over, it hurts when it turns out to not be true.
*
(truth doesn't exist)
*
tomorrow my metaphysical reason to keep on living will make sense. it doesnt now. at all.
*
life makes no sense.
*
(post lunch coma).
*
i am just happy i will be entitled to the minimun privacy a human being must have.
*
how the hell did i turn out myself brought up in this environment? in this town?
*
mysterious. i met a girl from church choir yesterday at the bar i was. we used to go to the same church when we were 13 or 14. i dropped out sick from hipocrasy. i turned out lost, with no faith, but happier than if i were blind. and turned out pierced. fun. the girl was quite pierced. and was punk. is that what happens to church girls when they grow up?
*
oh July Garland, i just can't walk on the sunny side of the street right now.
*
(why did someone ever have to tell me about this site?)
*
i need to get back to my journal. paper feels more comfortable than a computer screen.
*
grey days drive me insane.
*
*
i must find my subspace.
why is it that when people repeat kind words, we actually believe them?
*
and when they tell you over and over, it hurts when it turns out to not be true.
*
(truth doesn't exist)
*
tomorrow my metaphysical reason to keep on living will make sense. it doesnt now. at all.
*
life makes no sense.
*
(post lunch coma).
*
i am just happy i will be entitled to the minimun privacy a human being must have.
*
how the hell did i turn out myself brought up in this environment? in this town?
*
mysterious. i met a girl from church choir yesterday at the bar i was. we used to go to the same church when we were 13 or 14. i dropped out sick from hipocrasy. i turned out lost, with no faith, but happier than if i were blind. and turned out pierced. fun. the girl was quite pierced. and was punk. is that what happens to church girls when they grow up?
*
oh July Garland, i just can't walk on the sunny side of the street right now.
*
(why did someone ever have to tell me about this site?)
*
i need to get back to my journal. paper feels more comfortable than a computer screen.
*
grey days drive me insane.
*
*
i must find my subspace.
*
i guess Someone will not be happy with my first post.
*
but as i wait for the goodness of the seasoning to sink into the lamb and meanwhile, season my own bitterness with Judy Garland, i guess this is ok.
*
its not like the MOST important think ever.
*
but in metaphysical terms, nothing is.
*
but happiness.
*
(i should try to be happy then)
*
well, i do have the answer to THE QUESTION. 42.
*
(let's find pleasure in pain?)
*
i guess Someone will not be happy with my first post.
*
but as i wait for the goodness of the seasoning to sink into the lamb and meanwhile, season my own bitterness with Judy Garland, i guess this is ok.
*
its not like the MOST important think ever.
*
but in metaphysical terms, nothing is.
*
but happiness.
*
(i should try to be happy then)
*
well, i do have the answer to THE QUESTION. 42.
*
(let's find pleasure in pain?)
*
so i am here. nice. not on my terms, but nice. i guess i shouldnt nag in this first post.
so i probably must express my gratitude to Sg or something for giving me a consolation prize.
hum....
i hate consolation prizes. they tell me i've lost (highly competitive spirit)
*
and then i go kare kano again...
*
(bitch)
*
i'll just be happy for all the beautiful girls. and for seeing my Master tomorrow.
*
i've got lamb chops to season now. so excuse me.
*
so i probably must express my gratitude to Sg or something for giving me a consolation prize.
hum....
i hate consolation prizes. they tell me i've lost (highly competitive spirit)
*
and then i go kare kano again...
*
(bitch)
*
i'll just be happy for all the beautiful girls. and for seeing my Master tomorrow.
*
i've got lamb chops to season now. so excuse me.
*
