Mediocre. But that's mostly because I have it in my head that I have to overly rely on my personality for fear that I bring nothing else to the table.

But I've told to the contrary numerous times which makes me feel good.

And I say you shouldn't think less of yourself. Your blogs are always fun to read, and I'm willing to bet you're just as cool a person in, uh, person.

-TM

Being a comic professional, I can answer from the other side of the table:

I've often thought I had my "game face" on, thinking I was wearing a winning smile, only to have someone walk up to me and ask me, "What's wrong?" I guess I look miserable when I think I'm looking cheerful. Comic cons are an ordeal when they're business. I've only started enjoying the few I attend now that I mainly go to socialize with buds in the industry and not so much to hustle my wares (or worse yet, look for work).

Hah- you are hardly "clumsy and huge and stupid or dull and spazy"- you are far from all of those things! I find you lovely and graceful and funny and kind and sweet. So hush

I always think that people percieve me as annoying and akward. But i dunno

Well, what was going through my head today at Wondercon was, "Damn! she is adorable!"

i have a terrible internal critic


so i have no idea what people think of me


some people i love and respect seem to feel the same way about me


and i get some good shit done, good for other people, good for my family, good for the whirled maybe


so i judge myself as basically decent

(tho i have never learned to spell decently or is it descently? i dunno, and i judge myself too damn lazy to get up for the dictionairy, besides my diction is fine, i just cant spell)


it's hard when it's hard, and when i get anxious i can't sleep either wondering if i am a fuckin embicile


tonight i cant sleep becuase i just finished 2 rockabilly compilations for my dad's 62nd birthday. one all cats from 56-58, the other all contemporary acts still touring, your deke dikersons, big sandys, etc. gotta wrap em and put em in the mail.

then i'm gonna watch robert duvall in The Apostle, and then pass the fuck out


rock on suri!

I used to worry all the time about what people thought of me...in some ways, I still have that problem.
But over the years, I've learned, or rather, have been learning to not care what people think of me. It's what I think that matters. (Now I've just got to change what I think of myself. )
If others think ill of you...that's their Damn problem, not your's!! If they can't think well of you, that's their loss.
Of course, this sounds like an easy position to take, but like alot of answers, it's much harder than that. I'm still learning to ignore when others shun me, but humans are very much social creatures. We almost have a "need" to belong.
But I'm better that I was.
I learned a long time ago that trying to be like someone else isn't going to make you happy. You have to be yourself.

Don't question how people think of you, whatever they think of you doesn't matter as long as you like you.

And people see me as someone who has no regard for anything including himself, and I'd have to say they're right. I'm too worried about everyone else and their problems while I put myself second so they don't get mad at me.

people see my as this short little thing that gets drunk and says inappropriate things at inappropriate times then goes home and everyone is either confused, likes me or thinks i'm a dick.

I've been feeling similar to you... big, clumsy, stupid, and dull. I felt a moron all this week at work, so I wrote this on my blog:

Sometimes, I think my kindness is mistaken for weakness
My unassuming nature as naivete
My shyness for being cold
My modesty as self-hate
My caution for being slow
And my pout as a frown.

I can totally relate to your blog, I want to come off as sexy, confident, and smart but always feel foolish in the end. You shouldn't worry though, you are incredibly adorable and you seem like a real sweetheart too! I know if I saw you out somewhere that I would be sneaking mulitple peeks, whilst trying not to look as if I'm staring. You've got a look that's so appealing!

you are beautiful Suri!! I think the only thing people see in me is that i'm short!

Hey doll its JIMMY!!! lol, thank you so much for being my friend! you definatly made it not so boring there! and no need to be insecure, and i love your set but i must say (and please dont be offended) your much more beautiful in person! hope all is well, i will definatly start writting you on this thing! scratch that it wont let me request friendship :'( maybe you can request me!!!

*Jimmy*