I'm so tired. I sound like a big fat complainer.. but seriously, im not!

So things are always so hectic around here.. Im just always running around trying to get shit done.

Ive started working 5 days a week 8hr shifts minimum. Which is fine with me because im making the big bling. I also have gotten to do a few really decent tattoos. I did a huge piece, from shoulder to elbow/ half sleeve thing on my friend (whos becoming a SG girl under the name of Knight)... ITs a greywork piece all soft shading of a woman I drew. Its kinda Mucha- ish and really classicly beatiful with flowy fabric and wavy long hair. She has flowers in her hair and flowers at the bottom off her hips. She all black and grey except for red lips, bright blue eyes, and a pink backround to bring her out... i mean bright pink. So My friend has this gorgeous bright pink and grey tattoo taking up her whole arm. She sat perfect for 3 1/2 hours too which is rare.

Speaking of tattoos, im getting Jason Scott, my friend who owns hobo's in Portsmouth nh, to tattoo me on monday. ITs gonna kill its a heart with a keyhole and crossing keys with pink or blue (havent decided) backround design and stars. Its a bit of an oldschool design with a newschool effect. im putting it below my hip tattoos and practicly on the vag. ouch.

Ive been dealing with my best friend's X boyfriend, too. They dated for 3 years and he always left her because he wanted to date other girls and party with his friends.. and my best friend just isnt into it. So after 3 years of being dumped for fun.. she broke up with him because he twas treating her like crap.. and after a few weeks she started to date someone else.. and her X floips out about how he loves her and they are meant to be together. Which is funny, because hes dating bethany and fucking andrea. But not to worry, because hes going to treat my best friend like a princess and they are going to be together forever. Eh. So hes upset and calling her everynight and crying.. so she wont talk to him because hes being crazy.. so im like trying to calm him down and make him eat and not OD. He showed up at the downtown hangout and tried to fioght her new boyfriend.. he was flipping out. Hes just lonely and afraid to be alone.. he doesnt really want her that much.. he just wants someone to treat him like she does.. ya know. Which reminds me.. Hes really hot and has a buff bod. He has a souped up racing CRX and makes a lot of money at his job. He was a baseball star in highschool and traveled around the country and is a really good skater... He always has like 3 girls confessing thier love for him at all times because hes so talented and attractive .. and hes going to college too.. Any takers? He lives in maine! ill hook you up on a date with him.. haha

letys see, what else. My friends are moving to LA and then Tahoe. ITs sad.. Josh moves every year... but comes back in the summer.. but summer is almost over.. so hes taking his girlfriend with him (whos my good friend) and that kinda sucks.

My X boyfriend is in town.. but he hasnt called me., I think hes nervous.. or angry at me. Either way we havent talked.. which is wierd since we usually hang out the second he comes into town.. ITs sad.. because even though we arent dating or anything... we are still really good friends.. and id hate to lose him. Hes just going through problems in his life.. that involve finding out he has a kid and shit.. and we argued about him being responsible.. and we havent spoken really since... i just miss him as a person.

I think we are going to grassshopper tonight, which would rule.. but i might go clean and shit first.. blah. My day off is so pathetic.. i wake up late, sit around and answer email and dye my hair.. ha..

hm.. i wonder when my pix are going up...

Its a good thing i have a really good additude, ha! I went to get my cd player installed yesterday in my car. Well, The installer guy jammed the Volvo Key into my plymoth ignition. And guess what?! It didnt fit! In fact, it didn't fit so much, that it got jammed. They had to replace the ignition and tow it places and everything. So i waited at the audio place for 2 hours until they eventually told me it would take overnight. Ha. So, I got my CD player installed for free. Over all, nota horrible deal, except that I couldnt get my car inspected or get the errands done I needed to get done. Eh.

Im at work now, which is slow, but thats nice first thing in the morning. Nothing i dislike more then not drinking coffee or tea and getting bombarded by stupid Tazmanien devil price questions. "Ehh.. how much would it cost to draw taz, but like have him smoking a fattie, but uh.. can he have a six pack next to him? I want him 1 inch in full color and detail, and I want my husband's name, Bob, right under it, and I want it on my ass. How much? I got 23 dollars." ha!

I'm at work today. Theres a lot of drama.

My boss left his wife. She has so many bills that she told him that instead of paying allimony, he could give give her the tattoo shop and shell manage it and support herself. I think that's amazing. I mean, she wants to support herself instead of just taking handouts. She's a really strong woman. So they got thier divorce and now she owns the shop. She started to date the piercer. My boss started to date his good friend's (and frequent client) wife. The other tattooist is flipping out that my boss gave the shop to her instead of selling it to him and just giving her money. So he's trying to open a shop 2 doors down. My boss' Xwife, my new boss, is stressed. Thier 18 yr old son died a year ago, and shes had a lot of hardships in her life.. now the other tattooist is hassleing her, her Xs friend.. the one her X stole his current girlfriend from, is flipping out at her, and her current boyfriend, the piercer... his X girlfriend is a crazy stalker and its just stressing out my poor new boss. I feel left out of the drama. haha..

My X boyfriend is comming to town soon. That should be akward and painful.. Not because hes my X. We've seen each other in various circumstances since our breakup over a year ago. And granted, he was a very special boy... we didnt break up for any real reason except that our dreams were carrying us in seperate directions. No, our akwardness will come from the fact that shortly after our breakup he started dating a new girl. Its the only girl hes really dated since me. Now, the problem with this.. is that she was very similar to me, except in looks... and it only lasted a month. It was very not serious... but I guess he got her pregnant. she was on Anti-biotics while on the pill, and her dr. forgot to inform her that Antibiotics cancle out any birthcontrole in pill form. Well, Hes a serious traveler.. He hasnt lived in one place for long in a couple years now. Pro Skiier, pro BMX. Writes and does photography for magazines for travel money... So I guess he kinda just avoided the pregnancy.. im not sure what he thought..he didnt tell anyone. But last month she wrote to his mother, and informed everyone that she had the baby 7 months ago and wanted to take Ryan w. to court for parental rights and then child support. It was obviously a big suprise... for his mother to find out that she was a grandmother. for everyone. I mean.. He never ever ever wanted kids. We talked about it so often.. he wanted to adopt if anything at all.. hes so political, so opinionated and against so much in our culture .. its jsut everything hes against.. but then.. he doesnt get to make the choices. so.. its a lot of drama.. and he wants nothing to do with the kid.. Its just a lot of stress...

Right now im arguing with a customer. I HATE how no one listens to me or respects me because im so young and a female. I am the best tattooist in this shop. I am the best artist in this shop.. ive worked with famous people, ive learned a lot and I really dont appreciate how fucking rude and ignorant everyone is. I should let her get a shit tattoo that wont cover the one she has.. because thats what she wants. Grrr.

Im not really sure why I am keeping up so much with this journal.. I dont even come online a whole ton, but i guess Its a good start... even if pictures arent up or anything exciting.

Tomorrow I have a full day ahead.. and Im hoping it goes well. Ill be tattooing at my old shop.. the one where I worked for 4 years... So that should be nice. It'll be different since my old boss doesnt own it.. his recent X-wife does. Wierd... but i get along with her, and she doesnt make me dress up or tell me i should wear low cut shirts or short skirts to work like a previous employer.. haha. (long story) And she doesnt even tell me I have to start combing my hair like a previous employer. (yes, i have dreds.) Blah... but anyway.

So, waking up at 9 tomorrow. Go ahead and laugh.. but when you work 12 hour days starting at noon 2 days and then 10 hour days starting at 1for 4 days a week... and you do that for months.. you get into the habit of sleeping in pretty late and staying out late. I dont even think i could go to bed before 1am if i tried. So, I havent woken up at 9 in so long... I'm not looking forward to it at all.. but I gotta pack my equiptment and get to work by 11, its a 50 min drive. And, Im really excited to be tattooing. Its been a couple weeks, and anyone who knows me will tell you that Im kinda a tattoo-a-holic. I dream tattoos, i live tattoos. Everything I see is a possible tattoo design and I dont even notice faces or people.. just thier tattoos. Issues, I know. But its actually hard to be a woman tattooist. My biggest problem with joining SG was the tattooist aspect. Ive spent 5 years of my life trying to prove to everyone that Im not just a cute girl and that I actually have talents and abbilities that go beyond just waving a tattoo machine around and giggling. Ive dealt with perverts too often and wierd stalkers. I have people who wont let me tattoo them because Im a girl and dont look old enough to be "good... and I have people who try and make me tattoo them because they want me to touch them. Its hard to be a woman and taken seriously.. and not get treated like a piece of ass in the tattoo industry. I guess it can be like that in a lot of places.. and Im certainly not complaining.. I just take my job really seriously and go out of my way to show off my talents first and foremost. And hey.. if someone is a pervert, I can always turn up the machine and drill em a little harder, not many women can make thier perverted stalkers cry.

Anyway. My post is too long...

Yesterday I hung out with my best friend. She informed me that for some odd reason, she thought a boy liked her. I said he probably did, but why did she think so.... she said, "Well, first he held my hand for like 3 hours, then I slept over his house and we made out for like an hour." What a dork. We drove to the P town and wasted a lot of time, ate french fries and chatted. One of the few people I really dislike came over with my recent X-roomate. I guess they are dating, which is just gross because she's really stupid and obnoxious. Then I found out that somehow my CDs magicly got into his(X roomie) cd case... but he doesnt know how. He said I must have put them there... haha.. ITs extra entertaining because they just happen to be like his favorite of all my Cds. It was a Dead Prez Cd, against me, a rap compilation and the Wolves... maybe a couple more. But Lars saw them in his case so I guess Cory told me because he was caught I love cory to death, but as a roomate, he can be frustrating.. but then.. most people are. I always had a lot of people staying at my house, but we had this phantom pooper... who would scrape turds on the side of the seat. But you really couldnt see it from the top view.. you had to lift the seat. So who knows who did it.. or how long it would be there.. but cory always claimed to have never done it, or seen it.. but every week when I cleaned the toilet, there'd be a crusty turd stuck to the bottom of the seat.. Like someone cut the turd off early so they could answer the phone or something..I still think it was cory. Friggen jerk. Well, I am going to actually get stuff done today, and first on the agenda is eating some cereal.

I got a new job today, which is great... since I have like 200$ in my savings. The only bad thing, is that its my old job... which I loved, I just wanted to advance, not run around and end up where I started....