PICS
This girl and I were talking yesterday about what is categorized in the DSM-IV as Body Dysmorphic Disorder...it is the right diagnosis because I know in my own head that I am not fat but yesterday I became suddenly preoccupied with my stomach especially when I sat down...I just felt this intense focus on the fat surronding my abdomen and wanted to start ripping away my flesh to tear it off.....if I had not have needed to get ready for work I am sure that it would have escated into a panic attack....fun stuff. Anyway, the girl I was talking to said she could relate (except for the flesh pulling stuff, I didnt want to sound like a complete loon) I dont know what it is, perhaps poor posture making my belly slump, but the thoughts are starting to creep again. I think the lunch prompted it, it has gotten bad to where I don't even want to eat anymore. Not that I am going to turn into an ana-freak, but I guess I cannot be satisfied unless something is wrong with me. Don't you wish you had my life?
OCT 01, 2004 01:08 PM
No, I don't think I could do nearly as well as you. And you are a helluva lot more gorgewous than me. 
OCT 01, 2004 02:02 PM
OCT 01, 2004 07:22 PM
OCT 02, 2004 02:51 PM
I hate more when I actually start a project and do something really creative then go back to continue and hate what I've done. 
Not the best reason not to bother, but it sure does save a lot of frustration.
I had a panic attack once right before bed. I was plucking my eyebrows and started noticing all the stuff that wasn't symmetrical about my face. I scrutinized it at every angle and stared so long I was convinced I was hideous.
It took all my willpower to put the damned mirror down and go to sleep. When I woke up in the morning I was fine.
It's really crazy what you can let your mind wander into if you let it. 
OCT 10, 2004 09:38 PM
I don't think it's a bad thing that you're aware of it... but perhaps focusing on it so much could lead to a bit of an unhealthy obsession. I'd say to just keep reminding yourself that you know in your head that you aren't fat and every time you need reassured, say hi to me and I'll flatter you to no end. 
