EVEN THO ITS ANNOYING AS FUCK TO USE MY SMART PHONE AND ITS LIL SCREEN TO GET ONLINE AND MANUVER AROUND THE KICKASS SITE KNOW AS sg, SEEING ALL OF YOUR LOVELY NAKED BODIES AND THE SWEET WORDS AND COMMENTS AND LETTERS FROM THE MOST AMAZING SITE MEMBERS ON THE WEB! IM NOT THE GREATEST AT KEEPING UP TO DATE ON MY BLOGS OR THREADS OR VIDEO DIARIES......SHOCKING I KNOW! EVEM WHEN I DO HAVE COMPUTER ACCESS ITS DIFFICULT FOR ME TO STAY CONSISTANT AND ROUTINE EVERYDAY WITH POSTING AND TAKIN PICS! IM SORRY CUZ IT SUX I KNOW....... I HAVE BEEN CONSCIOUS OF THIS MY WHOLE LIFE CUZ MY MOM <WHO I LOVE SUPER MUCH> WAS VERY OFTEN LATE OR TARDY TO ALMOST ANYTHING SHE HAD PLANNED OR TOOK ME TOO..... SO NEEDLESS TO SAY I NATURALLY VOWED NOT TO BE LATE OR UNPROMPT IN LIFE LIKE MY MOM. OFCOURSE HERE I SIT 25YRS OLD AND TRYING TO FIND THE MOST AFFECTIVE WAY TO APPROACH~ATTACK~ALIENATE FOR GOOD MY HANDICAP CONCERNING PUNCTUALITY! AND THAT ISNT EVEN A 17TH OF ALL THE OTHER JUICY~GUSHY DETAILS I NEED TO FILL YOU ALL IN ON ABOUT THE LAST ALMOST 2YRS THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN ACTIVE AND ALIVE ON THE SITE!! LET ME TELL YOU ALOT HAS HAPPENED IN THAT SHORT CHUNK OF TIME AND IM BEGINING TO REALIZE THAT IM GUNNA HAVE TO BREAK IT ALL DOWN AND FILL YA IN ON MY CRAZY SKINNY STRIPPER BITCH LIFE IN EPISODES EVERYDAY..... AND I WISH I HAD ALL THE PICTURES AND VIDEO THAT WERE TAKEN OVER THE LAST 2YRS BUT LIKE SOME OF MY PRIDE MOST OF THE PICTURES ARE OFF WANDERING THE WORLD OR THE BEDROOM FLOOR OF SOME ASSHOLE GUY WHO LEFT JUST AS MUCH OF AN IMPRESSION ON ME AS THE MEMORY OF HOW IT GOT THERE!

GLAD IM BACK ON THE SITE.....I SHOULDVE BEEN THIS WHOLE TIME.....IT SURE WOULD HAVE HAD SOME PEOPLE TO TALK TO ABOUT ALL THE FUCKED UP SHIT I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO APPROPRIATELY DEAL WITH AND FEEL ABOUT. I REALLY DO APPRECIATE YALL STAYIN IN TUCH AND BUGGIN ME EVEN THO I WASNT ACTIVE OR ABLE TO LOG IN AND POST...... IT IS BEING ACKNOWLEDGED AND APPRECIATED BY MYSELF VERY MUCH RIGHT NOW!! SO THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SUPER FUCKIN GROOVY!! I WILL POST A PIC OF ME RIGHT NOW SO U CAN SEE WHAT I LOOK LIKE IN CURRENT REAL LIFE-NESS. IM KINDA HIGH AND CANT THINK TOO STRIAGHT AT THE MOMENT BUT I WILL POST AGAIN LATER!

hello i am back…….

I will be posting more regularly…missed y'all

Hello All it is really hard to be active on the site without internet access....but im going to be in LA very soon and will have the chance to change that!!! ive just been dancing my ass off at the clubs here in portland!! i love it!! im gunna try and travel alot this year and do alot more on the site. i have a Mohawk now!! wish i could post pictures....hopefully soon!!

YOU CAN SEE THE EXOTIC MAGAZINE COVER I AM IN ON MYSPACE.COM AT MY SORROW SUICIDE PAGE OR GO TO XMAG.COM.
PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT A COPY OF THE MAGAZINE SIGNED??
I WILL SIGN AND MAIL OUT COPIES FOR LIKE 5BUCKS A PIECE.

I just needed a week or so to think things through. things have changed with my job situation so im just dancing full time now,,,,,,i love it tho!! im on the cover of the exotic magazine for febraury and im so stoked!!! ive met a new guy and he is very different than what im use to which is very refreshing.... but i have been thinking about girls alot more lately!! ok im at work and have to go... new set soon!!!

So I'm in oakland airport bout an hour away from flying back into pdx. I'm not excited about leaving cali or cuming back to ptown. I had a lot of fun on my trip! But there were sum things that had changed, he didn't look at me the same way as often as b4. Only when we r alone this time. I'm cuming home with an open mind and heart..filled with clarity but oozing confusion out my pores. I know the heart is stronger than the mind but not every battle is won with strength either. I now understand the full meaning of love, and how easy it is to realize u are capable of doing so with every inch of your being but just not being able to speak about . That secret that eats away at your insides and leaves fuzzy shit behind. Not a bad fuzzy feling but no matter what u say to them or who u talk it out with u never really seem right...that fuzzy tingle is always there through all chaos and pain....but when he looks at me through his honest eyes i Can still feel it. The tingle is now a full vibration, a hum. Joy that I just don't feel often enough. He makes me high..without drugs but with them both I can float without care and know that in his presemce ill b ssafe a happy, aand I can feel the inevitability of that. He may not relaize now what I can provide and how understandably I can love and need to b loved the same way. For loving sorrow may sound sad I choose to see it as a more of a shakespearian point of view on love. Real love cums from true hearts. True hearts are often scarred just because they r true. If life g u the chance to find someone true of heart when there's no truth left in your own heart its telling u to hold onto that person....keep their energy in your life, and true thoughts of them in your heart. Yes only time will tell if I will ever b yours...would u ever want me to b? At one point I was certain of the answers to these questions but now I have wonder. But u will never tell me will u? I wouldn't expect u to....id always wondered if u would ever take me into your life someday at at this point I'm willing live in wonderland for a while with white rabbits, cheshire cats, n living decks of cards that will decapitate u with one word from the queen! I'm up for a little adventure and heartbreak. Id want u to b the one to break my heart if I came to it. Your love and heartbreak u give would still fill sorrow with joy...the same lil fuzzies that just linger in the back of your heart and stomach! I kno u will see the different kind of love and support I can bring into your life...and that no time will ever change the love I have to support your mind, body, soul, and pocket. I'm true 2myself now and have been for a while...and when u love truly u can except that not everyone wants to, or has the strength to love u back the way u need. But with loving u, I've learned that that the power of the heart goes beyond strength and is truly undeniable! We had a willingness to open our hearts to the truth when we first met and I kno that when its time to set aside the untrue lovers in our life you may b left with that fuzzy lil feeling....and ill be in wonderland when u r ready to love me truly. True love may not always have romance but romance will always want to have true love. Ill always kkep my heart open to being loved...but when u say your ready my heart will close and wonderland will become a reoccuring dream....a place one should only visit if their willing to dream of you forever. I'm still a lil out of it from last night so that may sound like mushy babble.

HELLO EVERYONE!! WOW THE WEATHER HAS BEEN CRAZY OUT HERE!! THE HOLIDAYS WERE GOOD! SPENT ALOT OF TIME WITH MY FAMILY! WENT BACK TO RHODEISLAND AND HAD A GREAT TIME. I GOT SNOWED IN AT MY PARENTS HOUSE FOR ALMOST A WEEK!! IT WAS FUN THO.... JUST BEEN WORKING ALOT. MY APARTMENT LIVINGROOM GOT FLOODED BACAUSE A PIPE FROZE OVER A BURST!! NOT FUN CLEANING THAT UP...MY CARPET IS STILLED RIPPEED UP...UGH!!
SO IM GOING TO OAKLAND-LIVERMORE CALIFORNIA FROM JANUARY 5TH-10TH!! IM SUPER EXCITED!! I HAVE A PHOTOSHOOTIN OTREGON AND CALI IN THE WORKS SO ILL HAVE SUMTHING UP SOON!! NOW THAT IM SETTLED IN MY APARTMENT IT FEELS GOOD TO BE IN MY OWN!! i WONT BE WORKING AS MUCH IN JANUARY SO IM GOING TO GET AS MUCH SHOOTING TIME IN AS I CAN!!
I STILL DONT HAVE MY WON WORKING COMPUTER WITH INTERNET SO ITS HARD FOR ME TO POST PICS...BUT IM STILL WORKING ON IT!!
HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT HOLIDAY!!
ANYONE FROM THE BAYAREA HIT ME UP...ID LOVE TO HEAR BIUT FUN THINGS TO DO IN THE AREA!
HERE ARE SOME PICTURES FROM HALLOWEEN!! A LITTLE LATE.......BUT WELL WORTH IT! MY LADY FRIEND PEYTON AND I HAVING SUM FUN!!

HELLO SG WORLD!!!! IVE MISSED U SO SO MUCH!! I HAVE EASIER ACESS TO A COMPUTER NOW AND WILL BE ONLINE ATLEAST ONCE A WEEK, TO START. I APOLOGISE FOR NOT BEING ACTIVE AND OR STYING IN CONTACT WITH YOU ALL. IT IS NOTHING PERSONAL.....WELL ON MY END IT IS. ON TOP OF NOT HAVING COMPUTER ACCESS I ALSO NEEDED TO TAKE SOME TIME OUT FOR MYSELF. MY RELATIONSHIP TOOK A TURN FOR THE WORSE AND I LOST MY JOB. NOW THAT IVE HAD A LITTLE TIME TO BREATHE AND GET MY LIFE IN ORDER AND BACK ON TRACK IM FEELING MUCH BETTER ABOUT WHERE I AM AT THIS POINT OF MY LIFE!! I STILL HAVE SO MANY THINGS IM IMPROVING, WORKING TOWARDS, AND CHANGING BUT THUS IS THE PROCESS OF LIFE.
UPDATE:
I AM NOW SINGLE
I AM NOW WORKING 3 JOBS
I NOW HAVE PURPLE HAIR
SHIT I HAVE TO GO......TALK TO YA LATER!!