sometimes i miss la.....or maybe just rooftop swimming pools and mimosas

8 new pictures of me (who the fuck else) in my album....every single pore, all the insomnia, the tears, the cake. for the last 6 months i have taken one picture of myself every single day...now i just need to start writing with it. i love waking up every day and feeling just a little bit older, maybe a little bit stranger...more confidence, more insecurity, more chaos.

merry xmas...i have pictures to post when i get home

for now, i have an amazing bloody mary that i made and listening to alberta cross "broken side of time"...beautiful...

running, running, running, running.........stop.

Hellllo...sorry about the lack of amazing journal entries lately (okay for like 2 years), I plan on getting a laptop someday *sigh* and I can journal my heart out in the comfort of my own bed...underneath the open window with a glass of ice tea. Sitting in front of a desk surrounded by people sort of dampens my need to let it all out. And I have a lot of writing going on in my head, just need to get it out there.

Remember to vote for me for Maiden of the Month...sign up, register, check your email, vote me a 10...if I win I can buy that fucking laptop!!!! PLEASE, yes I am begging, unless you want to buy me a laptop for my birthday on Wednesday (which would be lovely)...

www.Metalinkshop.com

Please go sign up to Metal Ink and vote for me for June's Maiden of the Month!!! If I win I get a trip to LA for some modelling sets and some $$ to pay my bills....AND you get to look at my hot pics hehe.

http://www.metalinkshop.com/index.php?option=com_forms&flag=maidenhome

i love the weather when it's over 85 degrees...dripping, oozing, sexy sweat...nothing left to do but take naked self portraits

DAMN! I'm trying to upload a photo from this stupid new phone...and i am failing. I want you all to see the epicness of the Frank Zappa easter egg It is quite amazing....hahahaha.

she was named "bad andy" after me. crawled up to my front door, drenched with rain at 2 in the morning. i was out somewhere, who knows where...that was five years ago. i call her fatsy cline.



took this yesterday. i love nude pictures in the bathroom in front of the mirror. no makeup on, insomnia, pain that has come back and again i have to go to the doctor. this time i refuse to cover it up, i'm sober and i just want to get rid of whatever it is that is trying so hard to tear apart my body. i won't even take a fucking tylenol. i'm in a little bit of a rotten mood here, but this is me at 4am. gained a little weight back, well 5lbs to me is a lot when you are so tiny to begin with....too many hormone changes with all that is going on. *sigh* i am horribly self conscience right now, and all the messages about my latest set looking like a holocaust victim isn't exactly helping. sometimes i hate the jerks that are members here....isn't this suppose to be about NOT being the girl next door playboy model and being yourself...fat or thin, big tits or small tits. well fuck you, you make me not want to be a part of this place anymore...when i could be sharing my fucking amazing beautiful self with people who do not judge.

i have a new set....in review....go look at it right now. went to vegas on valentine's day...vodka and feather pillows, met several hot ladies...Fractal shot a set.


it was cold