i am a sad, sad pony.

edit:

i just did The Robot on a retirement home porch whilst wearing a BCBG dress, and i feel much better.

paf and bof and other french sounds.

OUI J'AI DIT *BOF* PARCE QU'ON M'A DONNE UN COIN D'OEIL A LA BIBLIOTHEQUE, ET TOUS QUE J'AI RECU, C'ETAIT CETTE PUTAIN T-SHIRT.

the french like caps lock. it's that napoleon complex.

words words words

photo(s)

have been removed, for all my bragadoccio. i think it was "nice teat." heh.

i feel like maybe i already posted these. i am senile and doddering before my time.

i think someday i need to examine the strange sense of ease with which i post naked pitchers. it coincides with a weird kind of pissiness that i don't know anyone who goes to this site IRL, which makes me cranky.

i mean think of it!!! you know how you hook up with your best friend after weirdness of long-held sexual tension, and then after that, you run down to the seven-eleven and get slurpees and everything's normal?

well, i figger that it's an automatic bypass from weirdsville. if i met sg people, we could just move on from the naked. bases covered already. or uncovered. but you know what i mean. it almost seems more civilized.

new pics in "my pics," including one titled HATS ARE RAD which is much less exciting than advertised.

also, however, is part of a lost set that i shot when i was going through a major grunge brush phase in Photoshop, and hence everything looks like the littlest Chimbley Sweep. I put in about 5 or so, and if you guys like 'em, i'll upload some more. Deal?

And now i must, must use the chicken face avatar because he has this insanely suave-and-stuffed-with-foie-gras look on his face. Like Marlon Brando after the cheese course.

http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/p4.jpg

everyone needs at least one picture of themselves with a pair of underwear on their head and a bemused expression after a night on the town!!

time to go take some advil.

AN EMAIL EXCHANGE:
(or, "asking nicely for apartment references using keywords and such")

siv 12:09 PM:

yo yo guys,

(meaning seth and dave)

so, even though i'm unemployed, i found an apartment today in northhampton!!! you will have to come visit, it is super neato, with lofts and ladders and skylights. i am thinking of putting in a giant pole, as well.

But in order to come visit, i need to get approved for it, ahahaha. I was wondering if i could use you gentlemen as character references? they probably won't call. but if they do, key words i might suggest are RESPONSIBLE and CAN DEFINITELY KEEP A JOB and NOT A DEADBEAT! anyway feel free to tell me to go ask Sheryl (awful co-worker lady) or something. oh my. thank you my saucy saucy lads.
LOVE LOVE
[siv]

dave 1:18 PM:
siv: i am a walking reference. refer to me. i will refer back on your
behalf.
luv/d

"a walking reference." i love that shit.

p.s. i now have an apartment with about 37373 lofts and ladders and skylights and such. it looks like willy wonka designed it. it makes me even more inspired to sling grounds at a local Starbucks to pay for more than the first month of it...

DIRRRTY DEEEEDS,

DONE DIRT CHEAP!

the matrix completely ripped off of "Dark City" (1998 flick with Rufus Sewell and a pre-Atkins Jennifer Connelly). I encourage you all to watch it on DVD and provide helpful commentary like "HEY!!! MATRIX DID IT!!" and "HEY!!! MATRI--" and so on.

i spent a lotalotalot of time on the site today, including the fastest chatroom this side of the mississippi. i also realized how frickin' gorgeous Gabe's second set is.

my parents are trying to coerce me into moving home to Maryland with them by basic extortion. It may be starvation times up here in mass, but when they smoke me out, i'll come out smoking.

heh, i'm getting totally hosed on/by the newest incarnation of nonuglies (the famous bitchy livejournal community). their new name is "the_exalted." i live to amuse, so i thought i'd have a good laugh and post. my favorite comment so far has been "silly faces on you make the baby jesus cry." i mean, thank GAWD i didn't show them my motoguzi.

my entry:
(in all its self-deprecational glory)

http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/cuties4.jpg
the longer the economy sucks, the more time we have on our little mitts.

http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/cuties2.jpg
weird. ass. expression. i live to amuse!

http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/theex.jpg
surprise prison shower moment!?!?! YOWZA!

http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/mmemirroir.jpg
artyness but kind of an unphotoshopped one as far as features on the ol' face go

http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/clone.jpg


http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/hatbeth.jpg
ooh, ees so kooky. these are the kodak moments we hide from significant others, heehee.

http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/2tyre34.jpg
more goofy wet hair!

http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/badhair.jpg
damned beatles haircut needs to groooowwwww!!


somehow i feel i will be a better, if less attractive, human being once i get rejected and can go take a nice hot shower. heehee.

yes, i am somewhat of a pathetic humanoid for even posting in a community of vain assholes, or needing their approbation. the jobless have a lot of free time is my only excuse. haha.

HURRR

from when i was a 'serious journalist":

one of the perks of being editor-in-chief meant that whenever a comic artist fell through, we got (were forced to) supply a replacement comic. my friend Seth had a caricature of himself and his camp friends, which i quickly adapted as my comic material. everyday: a new adventure. no explanation was ever given. i reeeeally wanted some kind of cult following, with his drawn face plastered on mugs and Wheaties boxes. But to no avail.

http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/editbeth.jpg

http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/bethcomic.jpg

and, for "comic relief" (har!):
http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/motoguzi.jpg

i just realized that many of my sg friends might not, in fact, know that i am a card-carrying member of the teeth club. i don't have many smiling pics. but here's one just in case you worried i had to have my bran mash chewed for me a la "baby wants more sauce."

http://www.girlsarewebsafe.com/beth/images/smile.jpg

ranh! !!!

edit: my hair is wet, which is why i have stupid-looking flathead.