I'm done my first semester of Nursing school on Thursday. I aced my clinical portion. I'm just really happy to have three weeks off where waking up at 5 won't be a regular thing.

Sinnah, unfortunately, came to visit just as I was entering my finals period and anyone that has known me for a while knows I am not the biggest delight during this time. She made it out of here without a scratch but I can't wait to see her again in just a few months.


I've been dating someone exclusively for 6 weeks and it's going surprisingly well. We are a lot alike and so have a bit of trouble from communicating a little too much (ha ha) but I'm really, really happy. I've had a lot of trouble with closing off and lying in the past to my partners, but I work on that every day. There have been particularly tough moments as I am not the type of girl to care what anyone is doing all day, constant phone calls, questioning whereabouts, etc. And everyone around me was making me feel like I was the weird one for not finding certain situations jealousy-provoking or "not caring enough". Finally, I just realized that I don't have to perceive relationships the way they are publicly portrayed for mine to be successful.

I'm ending this blog with a beautiful photograph story. I get teary every time I look at it so don't click this link unless you're ready to really feel something. It's an excellent reminder of what loss is... something that is so easy to forget. I've had many disputes over the belief of hope. I don't know what I think of it as many a time it has proven to only cause more pain.
This photo really hits home, for an entirely different reason, but at the same time because I believe I can understand how the woman feels in that situation. And it's not fun.

New blog? New blog.

An adorable french Canadian girl came by my place yesterday and took her clothes off in my living room. That seems to be a regular occurrence lately. Not complaining. I've got some photographic evidence for ya! But not just yet....

First, Alle has got a new set up on Zivity, The Hunting.... Where she hangs out with a bunch of dead, stuffed animals.



If anyone needs a trial account I've got about 32 to give away.

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Otherwise! I'm on my March break and I haven't stopped moving around. WHY?! Mistake. I'm tired and cranky. My libido needs to calm the fuck down.




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Finally... I'm nood in MR. It's been 3 years since the last time I was in there. La Gazelle was shot in Morocco where the locals would continually refer to me as "la gazelle". Check it out and leave me some lovin <3




You can find me on
Instagram: shainesuicide

It feels like all I do is hurt people. I can't seem to get attached. Do any of you feel this way? All I want is honesty and people to enjoy my free time with. No games, no expectations.

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In other news, I just sent in a new set of Kendall. Om noms.



Oro's set is now up on Zivity, Ocean of Lust.


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As for me, I'll be noods in MR for the first time in 3 years on March 2nd. Shot by p_mod in Morocco under the influence of lots and lots of hash.

Here are some recent shots of former SG Oro. Some ladies and I rented out a loft a week ago and had a bit of a shootfest.





.. And then something completely different.





I am now editing photographs of Alle, Kendall, Cori and torigaelle. Seriously, what a great way of escaping from the mess that is currently my life. <3

Sup SG?

I'm sure a lot of you have seen, but if you haven't, I had my first SG set bought and go live on January 4th. The bodacious Kendall and I shot Bone Meal in my living room back in August. You're welcome.



I've had these random bursts of creativity lately, usually sprouting about late at night, which include giving life to weird trees and galactical flowers on my apartment walls. In terms of photography, I have made many plans to shoot many beautiful assets... uhh ladies.

I just finished editing a set of Rubix that we shot on Saturday for Zivity.





Otherwise, I spent five weeks traveling all over Europe back in November where I fell in love with people, places and a freedom I can't say I've ever really felt before. For the first time in my life I really felt in charge of my own time and desires. Coming back to my life in Montreal was particularly difficult but I arrived with a different perspective and, once again, rearranged my life. I've stepped a bit further out of my box and have encountered some new lifestyles and easy-mindedness. Sadly I've also come home to a lot of jealousy and competition, but as life has proven on several occasions - can't have the good without the bad.

I capture a majority of my life on film. Being back in Morocco, in particular, really set off some weird lucid memories of my childhood. I wish I had had more than just five days to visit but I did the best I could to capture and remember what I could. Here are some favorites:





And an accidental double exposure that I fell in love with:



Unfortunately the film I used in Scotland was sabotaged and so I only have digital photos, but fuck, I ain't complainin.




What else?

While in Morocco, p_mod and I shot a set. Although being in front of the camera again was a bit off putting for me, I think we did a pretty good job. You should be able to see it beginning of March.



With a lot of research and help from nerdy friends I was able to teach myself how to reconstruct my laptop into a bad ass machine.
I'm back in school and completely absorbed in my program.
Obsessed with building my own furniture from scratch.

And, as always, putting my life on Instagram.





You can follow me on...
Instagram: @shainesuicide
Twitter
Flickr

I took some pics of the beautiful Cori. She melts my heart and makes me say "yay" a lot.

There are three men on a train. One of them is an economist, one of them is a logician and one of them is a mathematician. They have just crossed the border into Scotland and they see a brown cow standing in a field from the window of the train.
The economist says, "Look, the cows in Scotland are brown."
The logician says, "No. There are cows in Scotland of which one at least is brown."
The mathematician says, "No. there is at least one cow in Scotland, of which one side appears to be brown."