I don't really know where to begin. So many thoughts exploding my brain these days. It's all good, and it's all positive, but for some reason humans feel the need to figure out what pushed them to this point, if they are even lucky enough to get a nudge, and I guess that's where I'm at.

Lots of things were happening at once. And for now, it's my theory that these things all happened for a reason. I was waiting for a sign, for a twist of the arm, to finally push me in this direction. I don't know why it's so hard to for us to do what really should come natural to us, but after a series of events here I am.

I was shooting on a rooftop in Puerto Rico when I came to the decision. This is it. Here I go. I'm putting all of my things in storage, selling the rest, and bouncing. There have been some trips I've been putting off. So, I can be a slave to my rent or I can just go. I'll spend a month shooting and pasting and stenciling in Europe, and then I'll spend a month in Bali sorting it out. Mentally and spiritually. And then I'll base out of Mammoth for a bit. And then maybe I'll just keep going. LA will always be "home", for the record.

So here I stand mid August, I've been on a travel job since mid July. I'm still not home. And I have till the end of the month to sort out my life. I want to get it all just put away, flush away all the loose ends, so I can get on the plane and sleep, and land and create.

I have just over 2 weeks to close the current Polaroid show at my gallery, open the next show, then close La Compound, move out of my house, move out of my studio, and organize a 6 country tour of Europe, and make sure I save enough for Bali. I have to get a new Passport, I have to ship art, make a new poster design, screen print it, cut stencils, make stickers, process my thoughts, love my dog as much as I can because I will miss her so while I'm gone, somehow get that 800 pound photo booth somewhere safe, organize my hard drives, hopefully get some more work in the meantime, and get dozens of other ducks in a row. My current state of being is overwhelmed. This is the chaos that is going to precede some freedom.

The conflicts that go through my head are for starters: guilt. Why do I feel guilty for giving it all up to be free? Other people need to work, and have real jobs, or else the world would fall apart. It's not like everyone can just take off to an island, or else who would fly the plane, who would make the cameras that I shoot on, etc? Obviously even the simplest of lives needs responsible people to help operate it. So why should I feel OK with fucking off? But then I guess I reassure myself about how hard I've worked. I know this is my time to create. And maybe somehow some of it might be contagious or inspire some sort of change.

It's also hard to walk away from my gallery, and my studio. I love that space so much. That place feels good. I love the Downtown LA Arts District. I really was proud that I had finally become an adult and was going to see something through to a long term. But like one of my camera men told me, it is just time to move on. So many great things came out of that space. I collaborated with great artists, made new relationships, and got a snowboard design deal with Arbor. La Compound is not over. But I have to remember to not always find ways to over-complicate my life.

It also seems to be semi-weird timing for me because I'm almost in some sort of a nesting mode. I'm all about home improvement magazines and plans of what I would do with my next garden. I feel like making a home and settling down. So perfect timing to go travel by myself for 2 months or more? Somehow I have to believe it is.

And here I go. I believe this is a series of adventures. I know it's a metamorphosis of sorts. I want to share it. Because I believe the instinct to slow your pace of life is something that is strangely familiar to everyone of us, and something we all avoid, because we are trained to behave otherwise. I believe that the more you know, the less you need. I believe that I want to make a life, not a living. And I know that it's not a case of being done with This, just a case of being ready for what's Next. It's going to be a wild ride I think. I'm full of love, and sometimes doubt, but mostly excitement and passion and power. I can do whatever I want. And that makes me feel more grounded and in control than anything else.

I am looking to collaborate with artists and models in Europe. Please contact me at getherphoto@gmail.com if you are interested in collaborating or have something in one of these cities I should know about. Here is my tentative schedule but it might change a few more times (I will continue to keep it updated here) :

BARCELONA 9/10-9/15
MILAN 9/16-9/20
BERLIN 9/21-9/25
LONDON 9/26-9/30
PARIS 10/1-10/5

And for now in Los Angeles, Radeo will be at the closing of the Instant show at my gallery signing prints. Polaroids by Cherry and myself are installed as well. It should be a fun time. Here is the flyer:





After this closing, Eva Huber and Ryan Bonsall are going to live in the studio for the week and install another world surprise for you. This will open on August 17 and run until the end of the month.

The exhibit is called Ultimate Stupid.

ULTIMATE:
The best, greatest, or most extreme of its kind.

STUPID:
Lacking intelligence or common sense

EVA HUBER & RYAN BONSALL PROUDLY PRESENT THIS AUGUST, 2012, THE ULTIMATE STUPID:
(A collaborative effort in artistic expression which some may deem fitting to one or both of these definitions)


ABOUT THE ARTISTS:
Eva Huber is a 28 year old tattoo artist who lives in Massachusetts.
She is currently in the process of publishing her first book,
12 Sleeves 12 Months.
for more on Eva, please visitor website www.tattoosbyeva.com

Ryan lives in Amherst Massachusetts and spends most of his free time and not free time drawing.



If you wanna see pics of the trip I'm on Instagram as @sawacide
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo