PICS
so you want the whole story? here it is.
this is how it went down. this blog is not to get back at anyone. im just tired of keeping it all inside.
croft wanted a seperation. time apart. he said he couldn't deal with my bipolar disorder anymore. he was sick of me not doing things around the house. and he couldn't trust me. things were just different. this was not how i felt. i was asked to leave so we could spend some time away from each other. i spent the next few days staying in different places, and just avoiding "home".
i went to maryland. i had sex with captainbackfire. im not sure if im supposed to share this fact or not. someone tell me otherwise...i do not regret this. its something i had to do for myself. i had to find out for myself. i don't really feel like explaining my full intentions, i feel as if most of it is bipolar reasoning. but i will not apologize for it. isn't this what a seperation is for? to figure things out on your own? apparently not.
when i got home croft asked so i told him. i would never lie to him. he barely reacted. i thought we were still "working things out". i go to stay at my parents house that night. i had been getting increasingly more homesick everyday. especially going through such a hard time, i just needed the comfort of my own bed. i told him i wanted to come home. he explained that after what "i did" he couldn't look at me the same way and wanted a divorce. fine.
i have been staying in the apartment with him until i find my own place. there are no hard feelings, and were still best friends. i hope things can stay this way, but the realist in me says otherwise.
he's been hanging out with his ex. as if this didn't hurt enough already.
my heart tells me that i need someone. that i need to fill this hole. that i need to grab on to whatever i can. my mind tells me that it would never work. that i need time alone. that i need to be selfish and take care of only me. i still don't know which one to believe.
you tell me.
this is how it went down. this blog is not to get back at anyone. im just tired of keeping it all inside.
croft wanted a seperation. time apart. he said he couldn't deal with my bipolar disorder anymore. he was sick of me not doing things around the house. and he couldn't trust me. things were just different. this was not how i felt. i was asked to leave so we could spend some time away from each other. i spent the next few days staying in different places, and just avoiding "home".
i went to maryland. i had sex with captainbackfire. im not sure if im supposed to share this fact or not. someone tell me otherwise...i do not regret this. its something i had to do for myself. i had to find out for myself. i don't really feel like explaining my full intentions, i feel as if most of it is bipolar reasoning. but i will not apologize for it. isn't this what a seperation is for? to figure things out on your own? apparently not.
when i got home croft asked so i told him. i would never lie to him. he barely reacted. i thought we were still "working things out". i go to stay at my parents house that night. i had been getting increasingly more homesick everyday. especially going through such a hard time, i just needed the comfort of my own bed. i told him i wanted to come home. he explained that after what "i did" he couldn't look at me the same way and wanted a divorce. fine.
i have been staying in the apartment with him until i find my own place. there are no hard feelings, and were still best friends. i hope things can stay this way, but the realist in me says otherwise.
he's been hanging out with his ex. as if this didn't hurt enough already.
my heart tells me that i need someone. that i need to fill this hole. that i need to grab on to whatever i can. my mind tells me that it would never work. that i need time alone. that i need to be selfish and take care of only me. i still don't know which one to believe.
you tell me.
-sassie!
i won't have to quit doing fucked up shit for anyone but me...
so i've been partying a lot lately.
in bmore.
at the bikini contest.
i got everyone to wear sg stickers!
ryan's birthday last night at the gay bar!
i got really drunk, made out with two girls, danced my ass off, and flashed my boobies a lot!
don't forget to check my new set in member review!
her middle name was boom.
-sassie!
so i've been partying a lot lately.
in bmore.
at the bikini contest.
i got everyone to wear sg stickers!
ryan's birthday last night at the gay bar!
i got really drunk, made out with two girls, danced my ass off, and flashed my boobies a lot!
don't forget to check my new set in member review!
her middle name was boom.
-sassie!
do you think we can get it to 300? lets do it! her middle name was boom.
i got this fan art in the mail today from norritt! thank you so much!
pretty good, a?
you're not the other woman
you're just another
another hobby for a guy like me
i don't want to be the vunerable one.
-sassie!
i got this fan art in the mail today from norritt! thank you so much!
pretty good, a?
you're not the other woman
you're just another
another hobby for a guy like me
i don't want to be the vunerable one.
-sassie!
new set! lets get it to 200 comments!
her middle name was boom.
i fucked someone with words, broke a promise
you forgave but you won't forget
i pray the day will come when you see i was numb
till you burned me with your cigarette
but each fight leaves my vocal chords shattered
i sing with my gums spiked with glass
i pray and i beg like a dog
hump your leg till you spay my sorry, broke ass
why do you always have to push me far away from you?
all i want is to stay with you
so naive, each time you leave, i always still believe in you
know that im holding you down
now you're out on the town
the courage you found is spitting in spite of me
leaving me dead on the ground
cater to me or i'll punch myself until my face is blue
later you'll be just as sorry as me for the things you do
if im an arrogant prick, shitting out heart attacks
then you're the queen of the damned: feelingless, devoid of tact
hey, im the crazy one here!
im dying of a deep regret
but i can't stand these nights i've spent alone, awake, begging
tearing my face apart like cheap leggings
im sorry, my love, im gone
you keep egging this on
what did i just do?
pack my shit up and go, im getting wasted
pack my shit up and go, im gonna face this
what did i just do?
-sassie!
her middle name was boom.
i fucked someone with words, broke a promise
you forgave but you won't forget
i pray the day will come when you see i was numb
till you burned me with your cigarette
but each fight leaves my vocal chords shattered
i sing with my gums spiked with glass
i pray and i beg like a dog
hump your leg till you spay my sorry, broke ass
why do you always have to push me far away from you?
all i want is to stay with you
so naive, each time you leave, i always still believe in you
know that im holding you down
now you're out on the town
the courage you found is spitting in spite of me
leaving me dead on the ground
cater to me or i'll punch myself until my face is blue
later you'll be just as sorry as me for the things you do
if im an arrogant prick, shitting out heart attacks
then you're the queen of the damned: feelingless, devoid of tact
hey, im the crazy one here!
im dying of a deep regret
but i can't stand these nights i've spent alone, awake, begging
tearing my face apart like cheap leggings
im sorry, my love, im gone
you keep egging this on
what did i just do?
pack my shit up and go, im getting wasted
pack my shit up and go, im gonna face this
what did i just do?
-sassie!
choking on the thought of leaving
drinking to keep from sobbing...
theres no telling what i'll do if i don't return to you.
i've got my car, my alkaline trio cds, and my sleeping bag. i think i'll be ok.
thanks to everyone who has sent me pms or comments. i really appreciate all the support. i probably won't be able to write back to everyone...im not sure if i'll have internet where im going next, but just know that i love you guys.
last night i stayed in md. i needed to get away from everything that vaugely resembled anything i call home. i don't know what i would do without the friends i've made on here.
-sassie!
drinking to keep from sobbing...
theres no telling what i'll do if i don't return to you.
i've got my car, my alkaline trio cds, and my sleeping bag. i think i'll be ok.
thanks to everyone who has sent me pms or comments. i really appreciate all the support. i probably won't be able to write back to everyone...im not sure if i'll have internet where im going next, but just know that i love you guys.
last night i stayed in md. i needed to get away from everything that vaugely resembled anything i call home. i don't know what i would do without the friends i've made on here.
-sassie!
could you tell me the next time that you're choking?
cause i'll rush right over
to shove some dirt right down your throat
its nothing i have against you
you're just a creep
and you can't remember the last five years
whats a bond if it dissolves in water?
besides, i'd rather forget the days we spent
than try to stay afloat in shallow water
-sassie!
cause i'll rush right over
to shove some dirt right down your throat
its nothing i have against you
you're just a creep
and you can't remember the last five years
whats a bond if it dissolves in water?
besides, i'd rather forget the days we spent
than try to stay afloat in shallow water
-sassie!
loading your activity feed...