SuicideGirl: Salome
suicidegirl

Salome loves the beer and the broads and the broads and the booze yeah

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MARCH 29, 2008 @ 06:50 AM | 60 COMMENTS

What the living blue hell happened here? I come back after a wonderful break and everything is monkeyfucked.

(No, I'm not whining OMG SINKING SHIP WTF BBQ 4 DOLLARZ!1!!one! It's just overwhelming. Usually when staff redesigns the site they tinker with it for a while, so I hope when they're done jiggering the changes are more to my liking.)

I had a nice break away from SG. I'm overflowing with creative ideas, I watched tons of movies,
wrote a bunch of reviews of horror movies, nursed a bad injury, limped my way through circus lessons, finished two books, caught up on animal maintenance, saw a play, practiced an audition piece, got a new job ... It's amazing how productive I am when I'm not spending so much time on the damn internet.

I guess I just have to not be a lurking wanker, and be more efficient in my perusal of boobs and boards. Even though the most epic of Hope-Cthulhus is still causing drama, and SGs are still causing drama, and members are still causing drama, I come back to find an amazing article about an even more amazing woman, comments from some of my favorite SGs and members, a movie possibility, and an SG-related project that doesn't seem to have been announced anywhere so I can't talk about it, but is a nerd's dream come true.

A HUGE, HUGE THANK YOU to Alfaduetto, who bought me the Bible of reptile medicine. I know it's neither your fault nor Amazon's fault, but the next time you encounter UPS I respectfully request that you set them on fire. It was easier to get a Russian visa than it was to get my fucking package.

I've changed my mind; I don't like the Chicago smoking ban after all. Rather than walking into a bar that stinks of cigarettes, bars now smell like a trixie's bathroom: too much cheap Bath and Body Works perfume, and farts. I'll take the smell of cancer over B.O. and bad cologne any day.

In between episodes of my horror review videos with Coralee, I've taken to reviewing horror movies. Last night I watched Teeth, which features a refreshingly original concept in horror films. While it was funny, it painted the blackest picture of male-female relations I've encountered since Victorian writings. While I hate to label myself a "feminist" because of the connotations the word has, as a female-positive thinker I don't really know how to feel about the film's message. Here are my thoughts, and I'd be curious to hear the opinions of anyone out there who has seen the film.

On that note, this wins for funny of the week.

MARCH 21, 2008 @ 10:29 AM | 52 COMMENTS

MARCH 12, 2008 @ 09:21 PM | 101 COMMENTS

I am profiled in an article about Suicide Girls who dance burlesque!

YAAAY NEW SET! Coralee and tmronin are amazing people.

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The set was supposed to be called Hard Rock Chicago, but oh well. SG Chicago knows the set is dedicated to them. smile I love you guys. Thank you not only to SGC, but to everyone who liked the set. Thank you for your nice comments on the set -- we do read them and they make me a happy girl.

Coralee and I are also very, very silly. Here is the third installment of our horror movie reviews, if you like the video please comment on it!

More super news today! I got my NEW TOY! It will be suspended in the air. I will dance on it. It will be awesome.

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That's me in my new shirt, the one that proves I'm a porn star:

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Over the weekend I went to the 10th annual Lebowski Fest what-have-you with trocc and notoriousDUG. And the Dude.

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So 28 hours of misery later -- 28 hours I should have spent on my sickbed -- we think that a repo man towed the wrong car, and when he discovered his mistake, he left it unlocked yet undamaged in front of a fire hydrant 7 blocks away for the cops to find. My man is livid, but frankly, I'm pleased the car still had a transmission. According to a repo man that my man knows, it happens all the time. Shit, I'm just glad it was repo that grabbed my car and not the city.

I'm excited to have lunch with Dorsal Friday, it's been too long since I've seen that pretty lady. smile



Thank you again for your kindness about our set. smile Though I have to say, reading through the comments reminded me of a conversation I once had with my college boyfriend. I was saying that I couldn't understand why men liked watching lesbian porn so much. The girls are into each other, they're not into guys.

The ex replied: "You're thinking too much into it. This is how men think: One woman good, two women better."

Me: "Yes, but they're not gonna invite --"

Him: "One woman good, two women better."

Sorry, no Coralee-Salome sandwich for anyone. Except maybe Ginary, because she asked nicely. wink

Once more for good measure:

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MARCH 2, 2008 @ 07:46 PM | 113 COMMENTS

This is what I do. (This is all I do.)

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In the last three weeks I've had about, oh, four hours total of spare time. This is what I do with it:

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(That's Kiss_Ton and Gilli - who still could use some feedback on her lovely rejected set, shot by AlissaBrunelli.)

Many thanks to Alfaduetto and MaxK for their generosity and always-kind words!

How does one change the key of a song? I am musically retarded, help plz.




I am also retarded with sewing. I own a sewing machine, but it frightens me.




There are a lot of things I need to get under control; unfortunately, many of these things are things I have no control over. So it goes.











I think I will start up an aquarium of cichlid fish. Cichlids are beautiful, aggressive fish who always pick one fish in the tank to be the low fish on the totem pole, and chase and harass this fish whenever they encounter it. The glass walls of the aquarium trap the bullied fish in with its aggressors, and its life consists of fear and hiding. Should the fish become stressed and die, or its keeper takes pity on the fish and removes it from the tank, the remaining cichlids will choose a new whipping boy, and the social cycle common to man and beast begins again. So it goes.

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After 40 enjoyable years of the George Romero paradigm, I'd like to see a (good) zombie movie made along the lines of the original Bela Lugosi, voodoo-style films of the 1930s and 40s. When rent pays itself, I will write it. Life-in-death eternal servitude is much more horrifying than the momentary pain of being eaten alive.

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Performing is a profession for the most seasoned of masochists, the most experienced of junkies.





I am shit at sewing.





I need a person who can rig circus equipment, stat.

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Spending time with Coralee always makes me feel better. Expect a new video soon -- it's the return of our horror reviews, and this time, we review movies about Scary. Fucking. Clowns.

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FEBRUARY 11, 2008 @ 08:03 AM | 106 COMMENTS

My good god, I have never been so tired, cold, or humiliated in my life. Yes, I live, and here are pictures to prove it.

HAVANA! I love you girls so so SO much!
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Lil Tuffy's Winter Ball! If anyone has any pictures of me on stage, pretty please let me know. My costumer, especially, would love pictures for her portfolio.
Sydni!
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Nixon!
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Dino!
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Sydni AND Dino!
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Me, Noir, and an octopus with a kippah:
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The Dirty Show!
Still chasing down pictures of me and the Flaming Dames, but here are some other lovely ladies. PLEASE - if anyone has any photos of the amazing creation that was Vivid's hair on Friday, I must see them!
Suri! She is one of the cutest, most interesting people I have ever met. She's also my daddy. (Vivid is my mommy). We make a great family. You should see us at breakfast.
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Fuck Rockstar. It tastes like butt.
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I got to see Campbell again!
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The most wonderful Annisa!
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BREAKAWAY PANTS!
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SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I can't be open or candid, online or in real life, to anyone, and it makes everything so much worse. And please don't make it even worse by asking, or worst of all, assuming you know what's wrong or why I can't spill all of the most private or even most mundane details of my life on the internet for the whole world to read. Just because I'm naked and occasionally write a few words of little note, a couple people think they have license to psychoanalyze me. I give everyone here what I can give, and what I'm willing to give. Sorry if that's not enough, but you get no more than face value.

FEBRUARY 2, 2008 @ 11:12 AM | 52 COMMENTS

I guess the new procedure for getting a set up is to beg for votes. I'm not really comfortable with this kind of system, but if that's the way things work nowadays I guess it's better to work within the system rather than fight a losing battle. Four sets from four wonderful girls deserve to be on the front page. Please help get them the recognition they deserve.
Calamity - Chromatic
Bindi - Couch Surfer
Dorsal - Cute and Cozy

AND, a set from a good friend of mine, Gilli, who's a fellow cast member on the World of the Weird Monster Show. She's worked really hard and wanted this for a long time, and she and Alissa Brunelli took some beautiful photos. Please go look at her set and if you like it, leave a comment, or two.

So, since I've decided to work the system rather than fight it: I'm also giving you all an incentive to comment on Gilli's set and tell other people about it: Once Engine House 13 reaches 800 comments, I will post a preview picture from my upcoming multi set with Coralee. So be sure to tell everyone about Gilli's set.

CLICK HERE TO SEE GILLI'S SET


(Yes, that's right, the ultimate Chicago multi set has been accepted!!)

TONIGHT, I'm at Lil Tuffy's Winter Ball in San Francisco. Not only will I be there, but I will be shaking my shit for your enjoyment there. I am also struggling to fit into one of my costumes, and panicking about performing alongside such stars as Nixon. It should be a good time, and Christ knows I'll need some drinks.

FEB 8 and 9: I'm performing, again, at Detroit's DIRTY SHOW. I'm dancing with with Annisa's troupe The Fat Bottom Girls, and doing my own stuff. Double panic.

I always say I'll get back to all of you, and I'm usually shockingly late, but I always do. Give me a couple weeks, mmkay? I'm busy practicing and panicking in all my waking hours that are not wasted working.




HOLY SHIT, I just noticed that's ME on the poster! (Though lil_tuffy generously gave me a nicer costume and bigger tits.) SHIT! No pressure. BOB SAGET!


JANUARY 28, 2008 @ 08:26 PM | 54 COMMENTS

I know, I've been AWOL. I apologize. But this is why:

THIS SATURDAY I'm at Lil Tuffy's Winter Ball in San Francisco. Not only will I be there, but I will be shaking my shit for your enjoyment there. I am also struggling to fit into one of my costumes, and panicking about performing alongside such stars as Nixon. It should be a good time, and Christ knows I'll need some drinks.

FEB 8 and 9: I'm performing, again, at Detroit's DIRTY SHOW. I'm danicng with Annisa's troupe The Fat Bottom Girls, and doing my own stuff. Double panic.

I always say I'll get back to all of you, and I'm usually shockingly late, but I always do. Give me a couple weeks, mmkay? I'm busy practicing and panicking in all my waking hours that are not wasted working.








HOLY SHIT, I just noticed that's ME on the poster! (Though lil_tuffy generously gave me a nicer costume and bigger tits.) SHIT! No pressure. BOB SAGET!





Also, it smells like a backed-up drain in my apartment. Fuck Chicago weather, and fuck salt too.

Edit: ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now let's just hope this really, really hot multi with Coralee goes up within the year, eh?
JANUARY 20, 2008 @ 06:08 PM | 55 COMMENTS

Midwest SGs are fucking awesome.

People I love:
Meow
Vivid
Dorsal
Bindi
Annisa
Bully
Yoyo
Copper
Havana
Zero
Tini
Adalae
Rainbow
Kaylee
AlissaBrunelli
Vectrexxx
PunkNiteMike
my hopeful friend who shot an amazing set this weekend
Meow's friend and my fellow Pictionary Mastah jonnieboy
The Tourette's Guy
and many others

Things I don't like:
Mapquest
The public planning commission of Fort Wayne, Indiana
Drama
Winter
Having to leave Columbus and go to work puke

SG night at Havana rocks my socks. Everyone should go. Srsly. (Just behave yourselves.)

LOOK WHAT I GOT FROM BINDI, who is the cutest pregnant woman ever and an amazing herpetoculturist. (Oh for chrissake, google it)

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This brings the number of my children to seven. I love them.



I am also babysitting two beautiful bearded dragons that Bindi sold me for a friend of mine. Look at these two pretty girls!
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I wish I could make a living from being an SG. This is too fucking fun.

Don't forget to come to LIL TUFFY'S WINTER BALL; I will be performing.

Also check out Detroit's Dirty Show; Annisa and I will be performing there also!

Pictures from Havana coming soon! biggrin

JANUARY 8, 2008 @ 05:07 AM | 91 COMMENTS

YAY NEW SET! Please comment on it if you haven't already! biggrin



Life is good, I would enjoy it more if I could actually sleep though.

If you're in the Bay Area, come to the SG Winter Ball! I'll be performing two burlesque numbers there.

If you're in Detroit, I will be at the Dirty Show on Feb. 8 and 9 performing burlesque there both solo and with Annisa.

I have to go to work but I'll update when I get home.

PS- Coralee and I have a multi being photoshopped right now. Cross your fingers it gets accepted.

PPS - I haven't responded to your comments because I've been busy having girlsex. I feel so glowy. I want more!

Update 1/12: I'm coming down hard from the girlsex. I feel very inadequate and awkward right now. It doesn't help that some blind cocktard tagged my new set with "fat". Really? Seriously? 105 and ribs showing? "Fat" is really stretching it, you body dysmorphic dipshit.
DECEMBER 25, 2007 @ 02:59 AM | 138 COMMENTS

It's time for that obligatory, precious, nostalgically saccharine Year in Review that interests absolutely no one but the writer. Since I love the sound of my own voice (figuratively), y'all are going to sit through it.

2007 was not what I expected, in a very good way. I finally abandoned both the middle class mandate to Have a Career, and the middle class expectation that higher education would make said Career easy to get. Simply put, I quit dicking around in jobs i 'd quit after a year, and finally got serious about this acting business. Once I did that, I was surprised by the amount of work I was actually able to get, despite being old (for a woman in entertainment), tattooed, and with no connections. Next year I have three confirmed burlesque performances, one confirmed and one possible theatrical lead role, and two movies. Fucking not bad, eh?

2007 also surprised me with so many wonderful people, who I met mostly through all this performance-related work, that I now call good friends. Not insincere, kiss-kiss-darling, what-have-you-done-for-me-lately friends, but people who make my life richer for being in it. You know who you are (you damn well should!) if I can keep working with you and hanging out with you in 2008, then life can only get better.

And ... Scene


Speaking of loving to hear myself talk:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Also, I am highly amused by Wendy's set, for many reasons. Maybe everyone is still locked in that enforced family togetherness, because I figured more people would get their panties in a twist about it. I find it hilarious when someone looks at photos on a porn site and sputters about "poor taste". Look back at early sets, by Katie, Al, Mia -- this is what SG is supposed to be about.

(And before one person fucking dares call me a hypocrite and invokes Nana, comparing this to the child rape set is apples and oranges.

As one person huffed, Wendy's set starts no dialogue. This is true. But I think it's an interesting exploration of the function of nudity in art. While Fra Angelico, Wendy's stated inspiration, doesn't seem to have a nude Madonna in his works, the Madonna is sometimes shown with her breast bared to feed the Christ child -- it's 5:30 in the damn morning and I am too tired to go search out examples. Renaissance painters also broke the mold as far as content of paintings -- no longer limited to strictly religious iconography, nude subjects appeared in anatomical studies, depictions of classical mythology, and sometimes even portraits of rich patrons. Even the post-Inquisition religious society of Europe accepted nude images of God and of Adam in the Sistine Chapel.

Art is all about context. Those Neanderthals who look at a work by Jackson Pollock and trot out that oh-so-clever criticism that their child could do that are missing the point. Pollock did something new for the time, exploring and changing boundaries in technique, materials, composition, and process. While Pollock's work isn't really to my taste, I can appreciate his contribution to artistic development.

So what is Wendy's context? Does the context of its appearance on a porn site negate any possible artistic value? Could one or all of the photos be considered to have artistic value if they appeared first in a gallery rather than SG? Up for debate, really. Duchamp, who I loathe, illustrated this very question by signing a urinal with a fake name and putting it in a museum (several times). I don't LIKE this art, but I understand its significance. Amid rapidly changing concepts of what constituted art, Duchamp pointed out the problem of how art is defined, and who does the defining.

Am I putting Wendy on a level with Duchamp? Hardly. Frankly, I find Wendy's body a more appealing piece of art than anything by that French hack. I bring it up because the tired Art vs. Porn debate will likely be revived by this set -- and if it isn't, it should. I like when people think.

Back to the original point: Isn't it hypocritical, you accuse, to decry Nana's Nazi child rape set and glorify Wendy's? No, actually. Look at the context: suicidegirls.com, a nudie site created for the purposes of titillation and redefining the pin-up photo. Hardcore fetishes like Nazism and rape fantasy were never part of the picture and therefore inappropriate for this context. Looking back at classic, pre-Alberto Gonzales sets by SG heavy hitters like those already named, Wendy's set fits in perfectly as a scandalous, sacrilegious, poke at mainstream concepts of what is beautiful and what is acceptable. The most basic goal of an SG photoset is show some sexy pictures, and on that level, Wendy's set is successful. Anything beyond that is up for debate.
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SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I have a hedgehog, and his name is Snuffleupagus!

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He is still very nervous and easily frightened because he just came home yesterday. There are so many weird smells and sounds he won't even eat his favorite worms when we're awake

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We're just going to talk to him and give him treats for the next couple days until he starts getting used to us. Then maybe he'll want to cuddle with his ima.

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This is what the word "hedgehog" looks like in Russian. We call Snuffly this too:

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It's pronounced "yozh". It's a funny word.

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