IPOD
RADIO
PICS
Ugh.
I feel powerless. I've done everything in my power to achieve my goals, but I'm still at the mercy of the Powers that Be, at the mercy of other people, at the mercy of fucking poverty.
This is a dangerous feeling. This is the kind of feeling that prompts me to do rash things like take off for the weekend without telling anyone, or move to the other side of the world, or say/do things I later regret. Just to prove that I do have some control over my life.
But I don't. So I guess I'll go do a fetish shoot today, buy something I can't afford, and sulk until something explodes.
Wednesday: Fetish shoot didn't happen. I drove all the way down to 37th and the fucker wasn't home. I'm not doing any more TFP shoots off Model Mayhem anymore. My ulcer is acting up but I no longer have health insurance. Also, we've had to turn off the heat in my apartment. It was always really cold, but our December gas bill was $500. I can't feel my feet right now, and we're locked into our lease until March 31. I pay an obscene amount of money for an apartment I can't even sleep in because it's too cold. I don't know what to do.
I feel powerless. I've done everything in my power to achieve my goals, but I'm still at the mercy of the Powers that Be, at the mercy of other people, at the mercy of fucking poverty.
This is a dangerous feeling. This is the kind of feeling that prompts me to do rash things like take off for the weekend without telling anyone, or move to the other side of the world, or say/do things I later regret. Just to prove that I do have some control over my life.
But I don't. So I guess I'll go do a fetish shoot today, buy something I can't afford, and sulk until something explodes.
Wednesday: Fetish shoot didn't happen. I drove all the way down to 37th and the fucker wasn't home. I'm not doing any more TFP shoots off Model Mayhem anymore. My ulcer is acting up but I no longer have health insurance. Also, we've had to turn off the heat in my apartment. It was always really cold, but our December gas bill was $500. I can't feel my feet right now, and we're locked into our lease until March 31. I pay an obscene amount of money for an apartment I can't even sleep in because it's too cold. I don't know what to do.
**UPDATE**: Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? I've put you on my ignore list so you'll LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. If you'd READ my journal, you'd see a thoughtful explanation of why I choose to show what I show. That seems to have satisfied everyone else who wants to see pink, but not you. You're crossing the line from plain rudeness to harassment. Learn some manners before you get zotted. 
No. I will not show you my cunt. Yes, this is a nude site, but if all I was trying to accomplish was show beaver I'd sign up for fuckmeuptheass.com, not SG. So stop fucking asking.
While I'm on the subject of rudeness, don't request my friendship without even leaving a comment to introduce yourself.
Tomorrow I'm doing a fetish shoot and will update with a better I'm-going-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of-you picture:
Edited when less annoyed to say: I'm flattered that so many people are so enchanted with me that they're interested even in the flaps of skin between my legs. Really. So I found something for you:
No. I will not show you my cunt. Yes, this is a nude site, but if all I was trying to accomplish was show beaver I'd sign up for fuckmeuptheass.com, not SG. So stop fucking asking.
While I'm on the subject of rudeness, don't request my friendship without even leaving a comment to introduce yourself.
Tomorrow I'm doing a fetish shoot and will update with a better I'm-going-to-beat-the-fuck-out-of-you picture:
Edited when less annoyed to say: I'm flattered that so many people are so enchanted with me that they're interested even in the flaps of skin between my legs. Really. So I found something for you:
So the master's thesis is sent in. Now I have to get a real job. Trouble is, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Everyone always asks "well what do you love doing?" I love acting but I can't make a career out of it. I've tried journalism because I like writing and the legal profession (anti-police brutality work) because I like sticking it to the Man, and I liked the content of my work but couldn't stand the associated bullshit: the naked scabby ambition, the egos and self-promotion ... I just wanted to do some good work then go home and watch a movie. I don't know. Maybe I'm just a lazy, impatient baby.
Edited to add: Here's a photo from a follow-up set I decided not to submit. First SG, then the world.
Edited to add: Here's a photo from a follow-up set I decided not to submit. First SG, then the world.
What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Had sex with a woman
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any New Year's resolutions last year, but this year I'm going to really try to eat better.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not very close.
5. What countries did you visit?
England, France, Germany
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
a job that's fulfilling
7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 7. The day my fiance and I got together
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Leaving London and resolving to be a better person because of it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Letting that resolve lapse
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I developed an ulcer
11. What was the best thing you bought?
my new laptop
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My sister's, for being so strong and facing up to her psycho ex and father of her daughter
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Bush's
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Becoming an SG Limbo Girl!
16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Clutch - The Mob Goes Wild
17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Happier. I've put myself in a much better situation.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Seen my little brothers
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Fucking around on the internet
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I am introducing my Jewish fiance to Christmas. I'm making roast lamb.
21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
Yes!
23. How many one-night stands?
Two
24. What was your favourite TV program?
Arrested Development
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I have enough things to worry about without adding hatred to the mix
26. What was the best book you read?
Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger. There's no topping it.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
OPETH
28. What did you want and get?
My old friends.
29. What did you want and not get?
A decent job.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Devil's Rejects
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I won second place at a strip club amateur night.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?
A Democratic presidency
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Fashion?
34. What kept you sane?
Define sane.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Angelina Jolie
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I can't answer this. I've stopped reading the newspaper and watching the news because it just makes me angry and aggravates the ulcer, and there's NOTHING I can do about it.
37. Who did you miss?
my little brothers
38. Who was the best new person you met?
My man.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
When I left London all my worldly possessions fit into two suitcases and a backpack. For two months I dragged that backpack and suitcases from couch to couch, living with my friends until we resurrected our college apartment. The mere fact that I know so many kind-hearted generous people, who are willing to let me crash at their apartments, is more valuable than all the Christmas presents in the world.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"You see us coming and you all together run for cover
WE'RE TAKING OVER THIS TOWN"
Had sex with a woman
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any New Year's resolutions last year, but this year I'm going to really try to eat better.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not very close.
5. What countries did you visit?
England, France, Germany
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
a job that's fulfilling
7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 7. The day my fiance and I got together
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Leaving London and resolving to be a better person because of it.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Letting that resolve lapse
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I developed an ulcer
11. What was the best thing you bought?
my new laptop
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My sister's, for being so strong and facing up to her psycho ex and father of her daughter
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Bush's
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Becoming an SG Limbo Girl!
16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Clutch - The Mob Goes Wild
17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Happier. I've put myself in a much better situation.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Seen my little brothers
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Fucking around on the internet
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I am introducing my Jewish fiance to Christmas. I'm making roast lamb.
21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
Yes!
23. How many one-night stands?
Two
24. What was your favourite TV program?
Arrested Development
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I have enough things to worry about without adding hatred to the mix
26. What was the best book you read?
Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger. There's no topping it.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
OPETH
28. What did you want and get?
My old friends.
29. What did you want and not get?
A decent job.
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Devil's Rejects
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I won second place at a strip club amateur night.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?
A Democratic presidency
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Fashion?
34. What kept you sane?
Define sane.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Angelina Jolie
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I can't answer this. I've stopped reading the newspaper and watching the news because it just makes me angry and aggravates the ulcer, and there's NOTHING I can do about it.
37. Who did you miss?
my little brothers
38. Who was the best new person you met?
My man.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
When I left London all my worldly possessions fit into two suitcases and a backpack. For two months I dragged that backpack and suitcases from couch to couch, living with my friends until we resurrected our college apartment. The mere fact that I know so many kind-hearted generous people, who are willing to let me crash at their apartments, is more valuable than all the Christmas presents in the world.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"You see us coming and you all together run for cover
WE'RE TAKING OVER THIS TOWN"
Grrr. A week full of trivial annoyances, most of them involving the mail.
I was waiting to update until I got the photos from my shoot with DSean, but they're lost in the mail or something which is disappointing because the few I saw on the day were kick-ass.
Nor have I gotten my welcome-to-SG care package, so no pink panties for me.
I think there's been some sort of bureaucratic snafu, from what I hear on the Limbo board so hopefully it will arrive soon.
My 4-year-old laptop started to eat shit a couple months ago so I ordered a new one last week, and they haven't even shipped it yet! They better do it soon because I have a dissertation to finish (so says the girl who is updating her SG journal instead of writing said dissertation).
The mail did bring me a present this week, but not one I was expecting: my grandma's world-famous sugar cookies decorated especially for Christmas! Of course, I ate the whole box and now need to spend the rest of the week at the damn gym to make up for it.
Hopefully some sexy pictures will arrive soon to bump this grumpy post off.
I was waiting to update until I got the photos from my shoot with DSean, but they're lost in the mail or something which is disappointing because the few I saw on the day were kick-ass.
Nor have I gotten my welcome-to-SG care package, so no pink panties for me.
I think there's been some sort of bureaucratic snafu, from what I hear on the Limbo board so hopefully it will arrive soon.My 4-year-old laptop started to eat shit a couple months ago so I ordered a new one last week, and they haven't even shipped it yet! They better do it soon because I have a dissertation to finish (so says the girl who is updating her SG journal instead of writing said dissertation).
The mail did bring me a present this week, but not one I was expecting: my grandma's world-famous sugar cookies decorated especially for Christmas! Of course, I ate the whole box and now need to spend the rest of the week at the damn gym to make up for it.
Hopefully some sexy pictures will arrive soon to bump this grumpy post off.
I am the most impatient person EVER.
Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not really bitching, but I just read in the Limbo Girls thread about how long girls generally wait to be queued and then to go live, and it depressed the hell out of me. Fuck, I submitted my new profile photo (the one they've got up now is appalling; it doesn't even look like me) and I'm already antsy, thinking "goddammit! it's just a yay or nay, approve the thing already!"
I think I counted about 123 or so current Limbo Girls. It's very sad-making especially because some of those girls are fucking HOT. I understand that there's a backlog and we have to be fair to all the current SGs and the girls who have been waiting, but a childish part of me says "Wah! I want to go live NOW!"
But I've got two photo shoots scheduled in the next week and possibly a third, so I'll just have to put up pretend sets in the meantime for your voyeuristic enjoyment.
Of course, all this posing means I'm going to have to stop eating so much cake.
Fuck it, it was a celebration of going pink! Hooray again!
Question for you:
What do you consider worth waiting for (and you'll wait for with a minimum of complaining)?
Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not really bitching, but I just read in the Limbo Girls thread about how long girls generally wait to be queued and then to go live, and it depressed the hell out of me. Fuck, I submitted my new profile photo (the one they've got up now is appalling; it doesn't even look like me) and I'm already antsy, thinking "goddammit! it's just a yay or nay, approve the thing already!"
I think I counted about 123 or so current Limbo Girls. It's very sad-making especially because some of those girls are fucking HOT. I understand that there's a backlog and we have to be fair to all the current SGs and the girls who have been waiting, but a childish part of me says "Wah! I want to go live NOW!"
But I've got two photo shoots scheduled in the next week and possibly a third, so I'll just have to put up pretend sets in the meantime for your voyeuristic enjoyment.
Of course, all this posing means I'm going to have to stop eating so much cake.
Fuck it, it was a celebration of going pink! Hooray again!Question for you:
What do you consider worth waiting for (and you'll wait for with a minimum of complaining)?
OCTOBER 2005
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31