i went to jail it was horrible. it was the worst experience of my life i had multiple concussions and injuries and never got to see the medical person the whole time i was there which was like 24 hours or so. i was also in isolation the whole time. and they beat me up twice. oh i'm really bitter right now and i hate everything and keep talking about suicide to everyone in my life and they keep freaking out on me. life is so fucking stressful i realy wany to jump off the bridge. i wish i would die in my sleep. i'm in so much pain. and my wrist got re broken.

i dont mean to insult the desingers of the site but the new layouts that keep coming out suck why fix something thats not broken?

I dont have much else to say life is forever shitty

well i went on a vacatoin and the site changed a little it says i have no hearts. what do the hearts represent. ps i miss all my ramones and old music that got stolen and several computers died and serveral ipods were stolen and lost so i missing so much music. any music donations would be appreciated.

anyway disneyland could have been better i hope to go back some day with my kids (i have no kids or marriage blah blah blah) the best ride was space mountain the worst ride was mr toads wild ride because the people who worked it were assholes and i smashed the consol that runs it with my fist. damn i wish we had got that on tape. but did tape somethings that were going to try to make a short film with.

The LA trip was very stressful it would have been better if i had gone alone and had more control over things besides the fact i paid for most of it.

anyway i'm ver sucidal these days its out of control my disorders and depressions are at there worst. i wish constantly i were never born.

I"m in LA i'm going to hang out with an old friend tonight and tommorow i'm going to DISNEYLAND!!! i hope this cheers me up. siiigh depression

i'm gonna let you all know something kinda personal about me but it takes up me whole life. I constantly feel like i'm waiting to die and that i want to die. i'm so bi polar. i'm so very unstable and i feel like its never going to change. and sometimes i feel selfish because i'm depressed oh its like a bad ride that never ends.

what is your favorite city in the world?
would you want to live there?

i'm already living in my favorite city but maybe theres another place out there thats better I just don't know.

and a hole group of fat chicks had the nerve to say to me and my lover "look at the couple" apparently they made some other comments like "sand nigger" (he's indian) ooooo if i would have known that then i woulod have spit in there fat faces. they all looked the same wearing hoodies and sweatpants.


I( really hope he doesnt sell car and we go to l.a. this weekend.)

theres been all this talk about moving but i dont really want to move out of my city i'm totally down to move to another place in this city . but i will make comprimises if needed.

where would you like live?

I went to the eye doctor today. I was hoping my new medi-CAL insurance would cover a contacts for a year but they dont. So I got the regular eye examine and picked out the best glasses I could find on the insurance rack. I havent had a free pair of glasses in a long time i usually buy vintage ones and pay for it myself. The doctor also said the glasses i'm wearing are too strong. i never know what to belive with doctors their all different.

anyway my neighbor is inviting us over for dinner I rarely do things life this so it should be a entertaining night.

what place makes you happiest in the whole world?

i love san francisco the most out of all the places i've been what about you?

I'm really good at making myself feel worthelss but thats about all i'm good at. I was terrible junkie my veins are so tiny. Now everytime someone trys to draw blood at a doctors office or something its a challenge for them. I went to some medical research thingy and they gave me 20 bucks just for drawing my blood to see if I qualify for the study. I've got to learn more about this drawing blood thing and getting money for it rather it be market reasearch or a blood donation. Hey I used to shoot up drugs everyday I sure as hell can take giving blood. ooo and it got my excited why they had a purple turnikit i've only seen rubber colored ones or whatever.

Seee how much life sucks, here I am bragging about 20 bucks for some task that took some crowded smelly bus rides to get to. I did ride my bike a short distance the other day to the store but I don't think i'm ready for the road yet. not until i get a new bike seat and post can my seat is a little too short and thats really bad knees especially with knee problems. uugh i wish i knew where all my bike tools went.


anyway i feel like l've complained too much already. and if anyone reads there they sure as hell dont comment.

I only have friend any one in San francisco want to get to know each other I've very shy though