Alright SG I'm updating my damn blog. Casper says she will murder me if I don't so I guess that's motivation enough.
Here is a rundown of what's been going on in my life. I've been in Portland now for over three years and I've been a home owner for over two years now. Things are going well in this town and I love it. I had a job working grave yard shift at an animal ER which was emotionally draining so I went down to part time there. Now I am cocktailing at a strip club and soooo happy!! I sleep during the day (well kind of) and have more time to live my life.
I lost my little boy, Elvis, to cancer at the end of July and that really changed my life. He made it to just past his seventh birthday but it wasn't quite enough time together. My little family hasn't been the same since losing him but it's getting better as time goes on. I have my pug Lucy, my old lady Joey, and my one year old kitten Edward.
This year I got back together with the man I thought I'd marry and have children with. That just recently ended and I've just started being able to leave the house again. I'm at a point in my life where settling down and living drama/dating free sounds pretty good. It's funny, because that's the opposite of what I have to do now. Dating in this town really sucks ass.
Instagram is my obsession and I guess I'm kind of a big deal on there. My user name is lucysmom if you're into that sort of thing.
Here's some photos of me recently....I'm shooting a few sets in the next month or two and planning an SG come back sort of thing. Hopefully my sets are well received and appreciated. I'll try to stay a bit more active on the site too.

well hello SG...

A lot has changed in my life.
I may be considering doing another set....I think the time might be right.

I turned 32 recently...yep, holy crap! The years are flying by.

Oh, I got an iPhone, totally changed my life.

So, do you think SG misses me enough? haha do you think I should do another set? Thoughts, and ideas would be appreciated.

xoxo

ROZA

I think the time has come for me to take a fairly long break from SG. I am taking Pink out of Member Review as soon as the 90 days is up. I just removed R&R as well. I was apprehensive from the beginning about MR and I've never really liked it. I pretty much am not into having sets up for free on this website. Being a Suicide Girl isn't really what I thought it was going to be and I guess it's just "not for me". Some girls are willing to be naked online for free in order to have the status of being a Suicide Girl, and I am just not into that idea.
It seems like I am just not popular enough with members on this site in order to get my sets purchased and that isn't going to change anytime soon. Maybe I should just give up on the whole thing? Who knows but I see so many other sets with 5 times the comments and there just must be something about me that isn't working or isn't what the members are looking for.
Honestly, I thought moving out here to Portland was going to make me more of a part of SG. I certainly wanted to be a bigger part of it! When I got out here I realized that I was a way bigger part of it in Michigan...and even then I had to drive to Ohio! It's pretty ridiculous and pretty sad too. I am super super grateful and happy about the amazing friends I have made on the site and for the events and things I was asked to do before I moved here. The groups on here have introduced me to some of my best friends now and I love so many of the people on this site in general...I am just disappointed with the way the modeling aspect of it has gone for me and I think I need a break in order to get a different perspective.

Sorry to be a grumpasauresrex and all...This is something I've wanted to say for a long time and it's been kinda driving me nuts. I know the site isn't going to go back to the way it was before and it's me that doesn't fit. Best of luck to all the new girls out there who are seeing it for the first time with fresh eyes! Maybe in a few months I'll look at this all differently too. Take care!!

xoxo

2010 has just started and it's proving to be a very eventful year already. First off the movie I was in for SG comes out next month. Despite the fact that I'm nervous to see it, I'm pretty excited as well. Making it was definitely something I will never forget. Hopefully it is playing in Portland, I would totally get a kick out of seeing it on the big screen. Bully lives a couple of miles from me now and it would be pretty awesome to see it together. Here's the poster and a link to the trailer if you haven't already seen these things.



Suicide Girls Must Die

In other SG news I'm pretty sad that there's no one here to shoot sets with. When I moved out here I thought it would be easier but that's not the case. Hopefully one day soon there will be a new Roza set but none are in the works.

In personal news...I lost one of my best buddies in the whole world this month. I lost my kitty cat Jorge to lymphoma. I'm super grateful that I was able to give him the best care possible towards the end but that doesn't change the fact that I've never been so devastated in my life. I miss him already and my home will never be the same without his sweet little self around. I'd had him since the night he was born in my bedroom almost 12 years ago and he's been my whole world since then. I'm trying to be positive and I know that he had a good life and was loved but sometimes I'm still pretty angry about it. R.I.P Jorge Esperanza Kitty of the Golden Sea. .

I'm starting school, yet again in a few weeks. Staying motivated and working on my future career goals has been a good way for me to keep my head up. I have the best friends here I could ever imagine and Portland feels like home to me now. I'm also really looking forward to having my first spring/summer here in my new place and fixing up my yard and doing all the domestic things that I seem to really enjoy now adays.

I think that's about it for now....sorry I'm not so active on the site. Over the past few months I've sort of become a hermit here and honestly it's been nice.

I hope everyone is well....remember to treasure every moment you have with the people and the animals you share your life with. It seems to go by too fast and those are the really important things in life.

xoxo
ROZA

Where have the last few months gone? I have become a workaholic lately, that's pretty much all I have done since the end of September. It has kept me busy but also kind of put in into a funk. I swear I have cabin fever! Since I work overnights I haven't seen the sun in months and every time I drive anywhere it's in the dark. Between that and my job requiring so much of my energy I have become pretty burnt out. I won't get into it too much but I love the organization I work for but it's just not going to get me anywhere so I think it's time to move on. I'm sad to say I have been looking at my options...I have always loved staying up all night but this vampire lifestyle is really getting to me. I MISS THE SUNLIGHT and doing things during the day!

On anther note I was just thinking about 2009, since it's over...and I realized that this past year is probably one of the most eventful of my life! I got the job I always wanted, discovered what I wanted to do with my life, bought my first home, bought a new car, rescued my little girl Lucy, AND got a boyfriend, AND made a group of really amazing new friends. It has been a crazy year for me and it didn't really hit me that so much had changed until just recently. I have accomplished so much this year and I remind myself of this whenever I feel like I have nothing to show for this move to Portland.


Here are photos of some of my amazing friends, myself, and my little pug girl!

This is Chip, I think he's dreamy. He's pretty into me too...I am kind of tempted to just live happily ever after with him but I don't want to jump the gun or anything.


He made this for me!

All in all I am a pretty happy girl these days! Portland feels like home, I love my new house and my new life. I've started school again and am on my way to a new career. Life has a lot of possibility for me!

OH! I almost forgot! haha here is a sneak preview of my new set shot by Brooklyn here in my little house. Keep you eyes open for it in MR and leave it lots of love! Not sure how much I'll be shooting for SG here in the future so this might be it for a while.





I hope you are all well here on SG!

xoxo

Roza

Fall is here!! I have to say Fall in Portland has got to be the best Fall of them all! It's not too cold but it is a nice break from the heat. The colors are really pretty too...and I'm living in my first house for my first holiday. Lots to be happy and excited about. I'm making KISS pumpkins, decorating my place, and passing out candy to the little ankle biters this year.

I just got back a couple of weeks ago from my first trip home after moving here to Oregon. It was exhausting to say the least but I did have a lot of really good quality time with a lot of people. I went to my Dad's veteran reunion again which always makes his whole year! As usual it was insane and dirty and I was so glad to be home after! I took my little Lucy puggy pug on the plane with me. She was a little angel! Didn't make a peep the whole flight. When I came home Elvis was so used to his new pack over at atomicant's place he was like a different dog! He's back to normal now though which is good, I was worried there for a while.

After my Dad's reunion I had a little get together in my home town of Grand Rapids...and I actually danced. That happens so rarely that I'm glad it was documented. Anyways, it was better than great to see all my family and friends again. I had a birthday when I came back home...I was pretty tired by that time but I spent it with a few close friends. On that note, I have to mention that I have made some pretty fricken amazing girlfriends since moving to Portland. I never thought it would happen but I am so grateful for them and they have made this feel like home for me.

A couple of new sets coming up from me one shot by Cymagen if he ever finishes it!! The other one coming up was shot by Brooklyn whom I had an awesome time with! Both will be great sets....I haven't had many good experiences with MR so far so lets keep our fingers crossed for these sets. Personally I think there are a lot super hot girls on the site who will never see their hard work (or the photographers) pay off. I feel like I've become one of them....I hope my mind is changed soon, I really do! I love SG and I don't want to stop shooting! I'm hoping this crap economy starts picking up for everyone.

Ok, that being said, I've got to get started on my day. I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying Autumn wherever it is that they live! Hopefully I'll have some sneak preview shots of my new sets coming up soon too!

xoxo

ROZA

Lots and lots of stuff going on in my life these days! I've been keeping really busy working a ton and planning/saving for my first trip home to Michigan! I can't wait to see all my family and friends...most of them I have not seen in over a year!

I just had my one year anniversary here in Portland on August 4th! I can't believe I've lived here for a year. It was a pretty damn rough start so I feel like I've come a long way to finally be doing okay again. I bought my first house and have been fixing it up little by little, and I got the job I wanted which is still going really well.

Now, I guess I have decided to stir things all up again and make another huge change. I am going back to school AGAIN! I need six prerequisites to get into the nursing program at Linfield college and I can apply in January. This gives me exactly a year to get the six classes out of the way and then I'll be full time in nursing school (assuming I get accepted to start next fall).

I just decided to do this recently and now I find out I have to start classes in just a few weeks in order to be able to finish them all! Not much notice....and three years commitment along with more student loans. Honestly, I feel like this is the right thing for me to do. I feel really drawn to this and motivated. I am actually super excited to be a student again and to learn...and eventually to have a career where I can be challenged and help people every day! I just want to start right now!

Bottom line, no more social life for me! Three years of full time work and full time school starting at the end of September. That part of it is going to be really hard....and swallowing my pride to take out more student loans.

In other news I shot a set recently with Brooklyn! I can't wait to see it, something tells me it's going to be really cute! I also shot a set with my buddy Cymagen a little while ago that I'm still really excited to see up!! Also, I'm planning on taking a trip to Cali sometime in either November or December. This is dependent on whether or not I am working and whether or not I have class/money etc...There's a boy there that I need to meet! It's been a long time in the making but I'm pretty sure it has to be soon or I'll explode! Also, I want to get lots of SG sets done because I'll be taking a break when i start nursing school. I may or may not return as a model after that's all said and done....I have a feeling I'll be in a different place then.

I'm going to try to post some preview pics of both of my new sets but meanwhile feel free to leave me love on my setRR that is still in MR! Fractal shot it and I really love it and want to see it up as set of the day!!

Here's some photos I took of my little critters!!

and p.s are you following me on twitter yet? rozasuicide


xoxo

ROZA

woo hoo photo blog time!!

I'm getting ready to go out with my girls tonight, and I have to say I'm feeling better than I have in months....about myself that is. The job, the house etc..is all great but I've felt really gross and ugly for a while now and kinda lost my confidence. Well, it's back! haha...It's amazing what doing what you really love and taking care of yourself makes you look like.

Here's one more preview shot of my set Fractal shot of me last month. I also just shot a set with Cymagen so keep your eyes peeled for that one too! I haven't had the best experience with member review so let's change please!

Alright, I'm out

xoxo

Roza

Here's a little preview of my new set shot by Fractal!! Hopefully it will be up soon!


Life for Roza is pretty good these days! Portland is so beautiful in the summer time, my house is amazing, and I've got lots of fun plans for this summer. Also, I met a really awesome, cute boy that makes me super extra nerdy and happy. That's all for now.

whoa!! It's been two months since I've updated my blog! Sorry for being so lame. It seems to be another good time of year for people to come visit me so I've been pretty busy with that.
My place is coming together nicely and my puppy, Lucy, is hardly having any accidents at all anymore. I was starting to think she would never get it but turns out she's smarter than she looks!

fractal shot a set of me when she, and courtney riot came to visit Portland! It was great hanging out with them and Cymagen and I hope Courtney fell in love with this city and ends up moving here so we can get started on our garage band! Fractal was fun to shoot with and I can't wait to see my set! I love her style and her work with SG so far so I know it's going to be great.

Bully is moving here soon and I can't wait to see her little face again! Life is good, job is good, being a home owner is really good. I don't really go out much anymore and I spend most of my extra time and money working around the house but I think it's good for me.

Here's some photos of my life these days and some Cymagen took behind the scenes during my shoot. Casper is in a few too!!

....I'll try to keep in better touch with everyone!!

xoxo

Roza