This is a lot to read so grab a nice cup of joe.

As for me i am sooo amazingly unbelievably in love with life right now. I had such an epiphany. Be positive always. If you are only good can happen. Be realistic. Realize that money is an object that no matter what amount you will never be happy with what you grasp so get over it. Value REAL things. Realize that you should be grateful for everything, and respect others for being here as well. Understand what you want in life and do it. Nothing can hold you back from anything. Be confident. EDUCATE YOURSELF on everything. Read everything you can, talk to everyone you can. Be open. Be happy. Life is great. If you feel yourself tripping evaluate the situation. Be mature. Communicate. Do not be hostile. Never avoid situations always confront issues constructively. Think before you act and speak. Always remind yourself of what you really want and why you desire it. You are born alone and you will die alone. You came into this world with nothing and you will leave with nothing. It is not a pessimistic point of view it is a REALISTIC one.

Greed, hate, power, loneliness, confusion, anger, ignorance has all played a part in shaping our lives. It is up to each individual to create there own beliefs. For at least 18 years (for others less, but still significant time) we have been sheltered and taught what to believe and how to live through out elders our surroundings, all things we were brought up to believe are safe are reliant. An average life expectancy is anywhere from 79 to 82 , is society trying to tell us that the behaviors we learn in our first 18 years are those of what we are to base the rest of our life on. I understand that these are our most influential years but imagine, imagine never crossing the borders of your town, your state, your country. Thats crazy. Your entire life you will live in a circle and although you will learn in books and watch your television while you come home from you nine to five to your twelve room mansion and your luxury vehicle you will never experience real life. You will never see what life COULD be. The rich are happy but because of what reason. So that their money will be appreciated by people exactly like them. Or is it because they have to live their entire life fearing the thought that everything they have everything they own could vanish, simply disappear. And do you know what that does to people it scares them and do you know what fear does it creates a world that we live in today. A fucking rat race. A rat race that only matters to those who want it to matter, and even worse those who don't even know its going on around them. EDUCATE YOURSELF. and no i am not talking about our fucking joke of a school system. which in itself is a sham. Read things that matter and investigate. never believe the first thing you see or are told. Back it up. Understand what you believe in.

I did not write this for criticism or to make a stand. All i wanted was to release perhaps the smallest tiniest fifth of what whirls in my brian every millisecond of the day. And i love it. Would not have it any other way.

I do not believe in god. I do not believe we have souls. I believe in science. I believe that people should do what they love and love what they do only for positive realistic necessary reasons. i don't think we should all be hippies running around with shit stuck to our asshole hairs, although if thats your gig i wont judge. Just live life. and love it for what it is not for anything else.

And try with all of your might not to be melodramatic. We all know we regret it in the morning.


and also (on a much much smaller scale)what i don't understand. I do not understand girls on this site who are offended by what guys say or what people say or by anything that comes out of peoples mouths. If you do not know these people WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE? so they think yo mamas a whore and your fat and blah blah blah does it really matter? If it does then grow some balls, and don't go posting yourself fucking naked on the internet and expect only positive responses. alright enough with that.

and trust me i do not believe i am some guru. im just spewing.

heres new years.

Here is balboa island adventure.

Lately I've been listening to radiohead and poison the well. Both are amazing. but really any music is.

I'm going to San Francisco tomorrow for a few days.

Then in may ireland - london - amsterdam- paris- spain- italy - greece- egypt - then home hopefully to switzerland.