holy hell. it is -43 with windchill out there. when i was walking the boy to the bus station i thought i was going to curl up and die of hypothermia on the street. and i still have to leave the house tonight for work. i am working freaking 22.5 hours this week. it is going to be insane. i work every day but wednesday, which is when i am going to get my labret pierced. i just made the appointment. i have wanted to for sooo long and i figured i should stop putting it off--"i'll do it after i tell my parents, when i find a job that'll let me, blah blah blah" i'm just going to do it. being impulsive rules.

on another note, this weekend with the boy was absolutely wonderful. it'll be almost 3 weeks till we see eachother again but i think it'll pass quickly enough. and when i go to see him next, it will be for 8 days. that will be absolutely heavenly, except i will feel a little bad because i know my cat will be missing me.

also, i dyed my hair again on friday night. now it's back darker than it was before i dyed it last week. i will post pictures sometime soon.

yesterday a guy from hotornot messaged me. my profile on that site says "maybe we would be friends if i was ugly and wierd too", as a deterrent from people i will definitely hate messaging me. anyway this guy messaged me and cut me down, though not neglecting to mention that if he wanted younger women he could get them, and then said that the world didn't want me for my beautiful body, which in his opinion was not a very nice body at all. this in itself is a retarded comment, as you can only see my face and arm in the photograph i posted. i'm a little shocked/amused that someone wasted their time just to be rude to me. and also, the guy deleted the match so i couldn't reply back to him.

anyway, on to less lame things--

today is a wonderful day. i feel super pretty and i have a couple hours left before i have to go to work, which i'm assuming will go by quickly because it's friday. then, after work i will come home and tidy up a bit and then i get to go meet the boy at the greyhound station and thus this weekend promises to be quite lovely. tonight we are hanging around here. tomorrow we are going to the provincal museum with michael, and in the evening watching movies with joe from work. and on sunday the boy gets to meet my mom and brother, which will be interesting to say the least.

i wish i could fastforward to the part when he gets here, though.

yay! i got my haircut and it looks really short and cute. and the colour i dyed it last night doesn't seem so heinous anymore, so i am posting pictures.

also, tonight i get to see my mom and little brother. that will be nice. and tomorrow i see the boy. that will be unbelievably wonderful.

and a post-script:

walking home from work was wonderful. my mom was here and it was great to see her. rose and i painted our nails and watched donnie darko. life is good.

i had this fucking amazing vivid dream about being in the desert. nevada i think. there was this valley with mountains all around, and scrubby bushes going up the sides of the valley. everything there was sand or concrete coloured, except these beautiful hanging potted plants. every balcony had them. they were so green it almost hurt.

having ink smeared all over my fingers from my leaky fountain pen makes me feel like a writer.

i am really fucking tired of everything.

i need to drop classes and become a part time student. soon i will be working 30 hours a week and i can't do that and school. i am already hopelessly lost in biology, and i forgot to drop sociology before the drop date so now i have to pay fucking 50% of the tuition for a class i have been to twice.

i am so stressed out. i don't know what to do with myself. i feel like i am 3 steps away from dropping out of school entirely and that is a horrible, horrible feeling. i know it's not an excersisable option. but right now i wish it was.

tonight michael golf came over. i had started pre-drinking with rose and tyson because they went to a preppy bar for a friend's birthday. i was drinking rum and coke while i made chocolate chip cookies and rice crispy squares. i feel so fucking domestic lately.

rose and tyson went to the bar and mike golf and i smoked a cigarette sized joint. then we played donkey kong country 2 and my playing was worse than usual because all i could concentrate on was the background pattern on the screen, instead of the action in the foreground.

also, my cat had this strange obsession with licking my fingers where i'd held the joint. maybe it reminded her of my mom, who is a chronic. not that i let my cat lick my fingers for any prolonged length of time. she just wouldn't stop until i swatted her bum.

then michael and i were talking about the ghost in my house (who rings the doorbell late at night, the motion sensor lights don't go on though so i know it's not a person) and the doorbell started ringing like crazy. it was only rose and tyson, thankfully. i was almost shitting my pants.

tyson is a psychic. i had a huge deja vu while making cookies today and he started saying things i was thinking about (talking about the matrix and stuff) and it just made the room spin faster.

i can't believe how warm it's been. the walk to and from school and work was absolutely amazing.

today i had a retard moment. i showed up for class, thinking i was super late. the halls were all quiet. so i popped into the classroom i was supposed to be in for anthropology and everyone gave me dirty stares. i sat down and realized that i was definitely not listening to anthropology. so i asked the guy beside me what class it was and he replied 'engineering 406'. ha. ha. oops. so i went to check when/where my class was and it was in that room, only at 930. no wonder i got freaky stares, i came halfway through the class. sometimes i fucking amaze myself.

HAHAHA on icq this guy just messaged me and i told him i was a student. he asked what i was studying, i reply 'sociology'. 'so, you like getting into people's heads, huh?' 'um....no, that's psychology.' dear god. why do these people insist on searching me out.

i have just felt really good the past few days. serene, almost.

tomorrow i am hanging out with mike golf and we are going to smoke weed. that'll be a good time. he even said i could buy weed off of him to take with me on my next calgary trip. now that will be delightful.

ok. i deleted the emo part.

today was a million times better than yesterday. i went to my classes but not to my lab. i really like my history class. it's history of women and we have to do this huge report at the end of the semester on anything conerning women from the middle ages to 1960. i think i will do standards of beauty as influenced by advent of filmmaking. i think that's the most scholarly sentence i have ever written in my life. it's a class of 30 girls and one guy. i love the ratio. i am just dying to make girl friends since i don't really have any.

i skipped my lab because i didn't have the lab book which is a lame reason. i was feeling shitty for a bit today but rose (my roommate) completely cheered me up.

i called in sick to work (apparently the formaldehyde fumes from dissecting a perch in my bio lab gave me a splitting headache ) and rose and i got all domestic. we went to the store and got baking ingredients. we made baking powder biscuits and soup for supper, and then made chocolate chip cookies for dessert. we hung out and watched 'new waterford girl' which the boy leant to me, and it was really good.

it was so fucking gross when we were putting jam on our biscuits--we found my old roommate's hair IN THE JAM!!! rose said "i think the jam is hairier than my boyfriend" and we fell on the floor laughing. we have such a good time cooking. we are the biggest dorks though. we always take pictures of our baking accomplishments. i posted some of the pictures from tonight.

then we hung out in my room and i took pictures of random things (like my crotch) and we looked at this site and talked about which girls we liked best and why. fuck i have an awesome roommate.

i got a card in the mail from my mom today. it really cheered me up. and i talked to my dad, asked him for tuition and book money, and he is depositing 300 more than i asked for, so i think i will sneak 70 dollars out of that 300 and get a tattoo with it. or rather the 3 star tattoos i want. but i'd rather just take the whole 300 and get the huge tattoo on my back that i want.

i realize that this entry is all over the place and bravo to those who trudged through it.

I UPLOADED PICTURES AND EVERYONE SHOULD LOOK AT THEM. except maybe not because then it will become apparent how dorky i am and i won't have friends anymore.

tomorrow i am done class at 1230 and i think i'm gonna come home and play some super nintendo. donkey kong country 2 fucking rules.

xoxo
rin

dear god, i think today will never end.

i got up on time for class but didn't go to my first one. it was english and we are in the divinity unit so basically my prof preaches and it's fucking lame. PLEASE ANDY WEAVER TELL ME MORE ABOUT BEING A CATHOLIC I TRULY WANT TO KNOW. not only that but i have to write a fucking lame essay on divinity. do i even believe in anything? so how am i supposed to have a basis for this fucking thing?

clearly i'm not in the best of moods. last night michael's sister phoned me. she told me some stuff and asked me not to tell michael. today i asked michael if clark had phoned him about kate and then he demands to know what she's told me. puts me in a fucking awful place because i told her i wouldn't tell. and i don't know whether i should keep my word to her or tell michael to help him out cause he is my best friend. he is the biggest asshole when he is angry. he fights dirty.

sociology was lame. my prof doesn't know how to make a point.

then i went to work, and it wasn't bad because i worked with tamaki. it was just busy and i am super worn out. one girl threw out her back so i will be working probably every day for the next 2 weeks. won't that be fun.

THE WHINY PART ENDS HERE
******
on the upside. i got to wear my legwarmers today. i looked really nice. it was warm out and i bought groceries, but i didn't have enough money to get any chicken. i got marshmallows to make rice crispy squares and got home and realized i had no rice crispies.

it was such a nice walk home from whyte ave. so warm. i was singing and it was really nice. i really, really need to start working on my solo project, but i say that every day. also i need to stop being shy abuot my voice. if i'm making a freaking solo album with a whole bunch of other amateurs it really can't be that bad.

ok so today wasn't terribly, write-offably heinous. but it is sometimes so hard to concentrate on the positive.