PICS
There are times when I think I'm the most amazing person in the world and I'm witty, intelligent and worldly. Then someone or something comes along and blows all of that out of the water. I feel stupid, naive, and lacking.
Don't mistake this for sympathy plea.
I use these moments to try and improve myself. I try harder, learn more, accept my flaws and work towards fixing them. I'm becoming a better person, even if it's a struggle against my own instincts.
Yesterday I was laughed at because I said I wanted to be a nicer person.
It's big to accept that others do things better than you, right? Things you want so badly to succeed in but will always be behind the game; I can appreciate the work of others without jealousy.
Sometimes.
Why did it take so long for me to embrace that being lower on a totem pole was not, in fact, a bad thing? What are we without goals? What are goals if not improvement of self? I want to be a better person, but I won't be a bleeding heart. I've always been a bit cold.
I'm ok with this.
Before I thought being distanced was a good thing. I thought that being removed gave me perspective. I thought that it protected me, or elevated me above the rest. That somehow knowing everything but not being effected by it made me a strong person.
I was wrong.
So days when I realize that I'm just starting to understand the world don't scare me as much anymore. I want to have real connections with people. I want friends that aren't afraid to be happy and have fun, and look stupid while doing it.
Two weeks ago I admitted that my viewpoint on the world was narrow and that I hoped to improve it.
It was a discussion on gender equality. I had thought I was one of the most open people in the world, that I was accepting of everyone. I've stood for the rights of people to love who they love. But during that discussion I said things I had thought to be true at the time. I had it very clearly pointed out to me that some of my views were antiquated and still sexist.
I didn't argue. Because they were right.
There is a time in my life where I wouldn't have been able to do this. I would have fought until the bitter end, driving home my point with a hard resolve best left for debate teams and not friendly conversation.
I allowed someone to tell me I was wrong and heard their argument out.
I learned about myself and my relations to others. I opened myself to the viewpoints of those who walked different paths than I and had different experiences and thus different views. I came to the conclusion that I was indeed narrow minded.
I learned something about myself I would have otherwise not, or even denied.
It's still memorial day for another hour. I want to thank all of the troops who have given their service to protect this country.
I want to give my grandfather a hug, but I can't, and having been able to for a few years now. But that doesn't mean the want goes away. He served in WW2, Korea, and Vietnam.
I don't want to waste their efforts and sacrifices on a life where I'm not my best. It's a waste to be unhappy and to make others unhappy. It's a waste to be hateful and bitter. I was lucky enough to be born in a country of wealth and of freedom. I appreciate that fact every day. The best way to show it is to be happy and enjoy what life has given me.
I'm trying to be a better person.
Don't mistake this for sympathy plea.
I use these moments to try and improve myself. I try harder, learn more, accept my flaws and work towards fixing them. I'm becoming a better person, even if it's a struggle against my own instincts.
Yesterday I was laughed at because I said I wanted to be a nicer person.
It's big to accept that others do things better than you, right? Things you want so badly to succeed in but will always be behind the game; I can appreciate the work of others without jealousy.
Sometimes.
Why did it take so long for me to embrace that being lower on a totem pole was not, in fact, a bad thing? What are we without goals? What are goals if not improvement of self? I want to be a better person, but I won't be a bleeding heart. I've always been a bit cold.
I'm ok with this.
Before I thought being distanced was a good thing. I thought that being removed gave me perspective. I thought that it protected me, or elevated me above the rest. That somehow knowing everything but not being effected by it made me a strong person.
I was wrong.
So days when I realize that I'm just starting to understand the world don't scare me as much anymore. I want to have real connections with people. I want friends that aren't afraid to be happy and have fun, and look stupid while doing it.
Two weeks ago I admitted that my viewpoint on the world was narrow and that I hoped to improve it.
It was a discussion on gender equality. I had thought I was one of the most open people in the world, that I was accepting of everyone. I've stood for the rights of people to love who they love. But during that discussion I said things I had thought to be true at the time. I had it very clearly pointed out to me that some of my views were antiquated and still sexist.
I didn't argue. Because they were right.
There is a time in my life where I wouldn't have been able to do this. I would have fought until the bitter end, driving home my point with a hard resolve best left for debate teams and not friendly conversation.
I allowed someone to tell me I was wrong and heard their argument out.
I learned about myself and my relations to others. I opened myself to the viewpoints of those who walked different paths than I and had different experiences and thus different views. I came to the conclusion that I was indeed narrow minded.
I learned something about myself I would have otherwise not, or even denied.
It's still memorial day for another hour. I want to thank all of the troops who have given their service to protect this country.
I want to give my grandfather a hug, but I can't, and having been able to for a few years now. But that doesn't mean the want goes away. He served in WW2, Korea, and Vietnam.
I don't want to waste their efforts and sacrifices on a life where I'm not my best. It's a waste to be unhappy and to make others unhappy. It's a waste to be hateful and bitter. I was lucky enough to be born in a country of wealth and of freedom. I appreciate that fact every day. The best way to show it is to be happy and enjoy what life has given me.
I'm trying to be a better person.
Oh hey, I speak!
(skip to 4:06)
Bob, Squeak, and I did an interview at Wondercon about SG.
I still can't think of anything that nobody knows about me. At least not anything interesting. I'm sure there are mundane details of my life that people don't know.
Also, it's really surreal to listen to your own voice. Really.
ps. mmmm macaroni
(skip to 4:06)
Bob, Squeak, and I did an interview at Wondercon about SG.
I still can't think of anything that nobody knows about me. At least not anything interesting. I'm sure there are mundane details of my life that people don't know.
Also, it's really surreal to listen to your own voice. Really.
ps. mmmm macaroni
Ok, whoever got me sick at Wondercon can eat a dick!
Otherwise, Wondercon was great!
Myself, Bob and Serial
R3X, Squeak, Dino, Me, Bob, Maddigan, Serial
Dice, Dino, and Me
Me, Dino, Maddigan, Bob, Nixon
Fiercest Hit Girl ever! No smiling, because Hit Girl wouldn't smile.
This guy took pics with us, went and printed them, then came back to get them signed. That is some speedy turnaround.
Another guy also printed pics that he took with us and gave us copies. That was really sweet.
And yet another guy found out who was at the booth, printed pics from our sets, then had us sign them.
I love it!
Also this.
More pics live here!
Otherwise, Wondercon was great!
Myself, Bob and Serial
R3X, Squeak, Dino, Me, Bob, Maddigan, Serial
Dice, Dino, and Me
Me, Dino, Maddigan, Bob, Nixon
Fiercest Hit Girl ever! No smiling, because Hit Girl wouldn't smile.
This guy took pics with us, went and printed them, then came back to get them signed. That is some speedy turnaround.
Another guy also printed pics that he took with us and gave us copies. That was really sweet.
And yet another guy found out who was at the booth, printed pics from our sets, then had us sign them.
I love it!
Also this.
More pics live here!
I GOT FUCKING HIRED FULL TIME!!!
Fuck yeah, my internship turned into a full-time salaried position with full benefits and a 401k. I'm so happy that I keep just smiling randomly. To anyone not in the know I must look absolutely daffy.
Guys... Guys, this means I can quit Starbucks! I CAN FUCKING QUIT STARBUCKS!
GaaaaaaaaahHhhhh!!!!!
Fuck yeah, my internship turned into a full-time salaried position with full benefits and a 401k. I'm so happy that I keep just smiling randomly. To anyone not in the know I must look absolutely daffy.
Guys... Guys, this means I can quit Starbucks! I CAN FUCKING QUIT STARBUCKS!
GaaaaaaaaahHhhhh!!!!!
I've been using my tumblr again.
And I've made a few more items for my etsy
I've made a facebook page
I've purchased and ipod touch.
My twitter is a bit neglected lately, but it's because I've been working a lot. And nobody really cares about that.
I think I'm getting good at this social networking business.
_____
I'm selling some clothes and stuff if you are interested.
____
My cat is hilarious!
___
I think that's about it for updates right now.
And I've made a few more items for my etsy
I've made a facebook page
I've purchased and ipod touch.
My twitter is a bit neglected lately, but it's because I've been working a lot. And nobody really cares about that.
I think I'm getting good at this social networking business.
_____
I'm selling some clothes and stuff if you are interested.
____
My cat is hilarious!
___
I think that's about it for updates right now.
This week I managed to bypass 2 riots. Yes 2.
If you didn't hear the Bay Area went absolutely bat-shit this week. The San Francisco Giants won the world series on Monday, and San Francisco exploded. I was watching an illegal stream of Fox's Spanish station coverage of the game on a laptop at work. As soon as my coworkers and I saw the result, we cheered, turned off the computer and got the fuck out. I rode my bike up to civic center BART station just in time to meet part of the crowd dispersing from Civic center plaza. I got on BART , which started to fill quickly, and got myself home. I turned on the TV to watch the city devolve into ridiculousness.
People were mowed down by cars.
Fires were lit. Screaming and honking horns was to be had.
Today I was at work when the verdict of the Oscar Grant case came in. I work next to the SF precinct, so all the cops who came in were a bit nervous about the night ahead. I was also a bit nervous about the my trip home since the last news from the case resulted in riots in downtown Oakland.
A Footlocker was broken into. Fires were set. Cars were damaged, Things were trashed.
So tonight, near the end of my shift, I receive a call from my boyfriend. Apparently the rioters are streaming through my neighborhood. Apparently the crowd decided to head east from downtown. The broke through a construction site that was blocking off an entire block and marched into the yards between out building and the neighbors. They were climbing on the roofs of the houses next to us.
The white house you can see is just 4 doors down from us.
I tell him to let me know if it calms down soon so I can come home. Half an hour later he calls again. Apparently the riot police have quartered off our block and trapped 150 protesters on our street. So I call my friend to come pick me up from Ashby station and head to her house to wait it out.
It was a bit surreal coming home at 11p. Me and my friend drove up the blocks leading to my house and I was surprised because everything seemed normal. As soon as we turn the corner to my street we're blinded by the bright light of a police car in the center of the road, and the entire block is trashed. I'm actually surprised that there wasn't more destruction. Our neighbors are out in the street assessing the damage and attempting some cleanup. A cop is searching int he trunk of a stopped car. I don't know what for. And I don't really care. I just take my bike inside and open my apartment, happy that my boyfriend and my cat are fine.
If you didn't hear the Bay Area went absolutely bat-shit this week. The San Francisco Giants won the world series on Monday, and San Francisco exploded. I was watching an illegal stream of Fox's Spanish station coverage of the game on a laptop at work. As soon as my coworkers and I saw the result, we cheered, turned off the computer and got the fuck out. I rode my bike up to civic center BART station just in time to meet part of the crowd dispersing from Civic center plaza. I got on BART , which started to fill quickly, and got myself home. I turned on the TV to watch the city devolve into ridiculousness.
People were mowed down by cars.
Fires were lit. Screaming and honking horns was to be had.
Today I was at work when the verdict of the Oscar Grant case came in. I work next to the SF precinct, so all the cops who came in were a bit nervous about the night ahead. I was also a bit nervous about the my trip home since the last news from the case resulted in riots in downtown Oakland.
A Footlocker was broken into. Fires were set. Cars were damaged, Things were trashed.
So tonight, near the end of my shift, I receive a call from my boyfriend. Apparently the rioters are streaming through my neighborhood. Apparently the crowd decided to head east from downtown. The broke through a construction site that was blocking off an entire block and marched into the yards between out building and the neighbors. They were climbing on the roofs of the houses next to us.
The white house you can see is just 4 doors down from us.
I tell him to let me know if it calms down soon so I can come home. Half an hour later he calls again. Apparently the riot police have quartered off our block and trapped 150 protesters on our street. So I call my friend to come pick me up from Ashby station and head to her house to wait it out.
It was a bit surreal coming home at 11p. Me and my friend drove up the blocks leading to my house and I was surprised because everything seemed normal. As soon as we turn the corner to my street we're blinded by the bright light of a police car in the center of the road, and the entire block is trashed. I'm actually surprised that there wasn't more destruction. Our neighbors are out in the street assessing the damage and attempting some cleanup. A cop is searching int he trunk of a stopped car. I don't know what for. And I don't really care. I just take my bike inside and open my apartment, happy that my boyfriend and my cat are fine.
