hi there my love biscuits.

i initially typed "love muffins"...but then i was struck by an overwhelming craving for biscuits.

so how is everyone this evening?

it is friday night. woooo! or something.

i feel like cooking something delicious and smothered in cayenne pepper. making a pot of coffee. reading. relaxing. listening to tunes. maybe drink a beer and socialize but....probably not. most of my roommates are out of town. house to myself. = got my eyes set to hermit-ize also = no pants cooking. bahahaaaa. don't get that often when you reside in a home with five men.

as of right now i'm down the street borrowing my best friends computer to look at boobs. her room is nice and sunny. i love it. i am listening to outbreak. i love that too. she has a kati roll sign on the wall. i really love that.

and speaking of kati roll...!!!!

i spent three weekends in a row in pittsburgh which is far too long for me to EVER be in one place. the travel bug had bitten long ago and the wound was now at an unbearable point of festering. so last weekend after work i could no longer stand it and ran to the megabus ten blocks away and skedaddled to new york city. i arrived around one a.m. where my super awesome friend zepp101 met me. we immediately proceeded to kati roll and devoured shami kabaab rolls. after said devouration we made haste to ace bar and drank delicious beers and had amazing and much needed conversation and awesome laughs and good times until the bars shut down at 4 a.m. zepp101 rules.

we then wandered the streets for a few hours, suffered some mild confusion getting the subway back to jersey, but sustained our lives with a stash of peanut butter cookies i had heisted from my bakery earlier that day. made friends with a very sweaty european boy. finally making it back to jersey around 7:30 a.m.

awoke later to pound down the he-man breakfast at the mark twain diner. i had this the first time i came to jersey and refuse to leave without it ever since. 2 pancakes. shitload of bacon. 2 sausage. 2 eggs. 2 french toast. plus a vanilla milkshake and a few cheesestix =

we then picked up some folks. pounded beers in the parking lot of citifield. mets game was fucking awesome although they lost but really i just love the smell of hot dogs and fries and watching tens of thousands of people getting drunk and crazy at sporting events while of course drinking beer myself.

and of course...dundundundun dundunnnnn.....CHARGE.





then back to jerz and there were beers and blunts and cool cats and i dug i dug i dug and in the morning i was on a bus again whisked back to the pittsburghian lands feeling fulfilled.

on wednesday at approximately 5:00 a.m. i awoke after falling asleep at 4:15 or so to the sound of creaking breaks. a bus. a huge grey schoolbus. with a rexxy boyfriend i hadn't seen in a month!!!!!!! i've been awaiting the whole time for the arrival of gifts from enola at my digs to play their pittsburgh stop on tour. i was happyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappy. so happy. i can't even express the happiness. after that i had ungodly and glorious amounts of sex and continued being happyhappyhappy until alas the time came to put clothes on and go to the show. which rocked. they rock. then i said peace out again as they scurried off.

in one week i am skipping town again
to the beach!
then to richmond!
for good times!
and deftones!
FUCKING DEFTONES!!!!!!!!!
FUCKING DEFTONES TWICE IN THE PAST FOUR MONTHS!

wooooo!

i think i ask off of work for than anyone else in the history of mankind.
people are always saying "don't you need money?"

well, obviously not, sherlock.
who does?

work for a week. have money. do the same thing everyday. NO
don't work for a week. see deftones. swim in ocean. have lots of sex and endless good for the soul times. YES
its all in ya head.

thats why god or someone made spaghetti and peanut butter to sustain life when need be. and sex for endless hours of free entertainment. and pittsburgh for cheap beers and cheap living. and brains.

and life is good. so good. far too good to waste working all the time.

and fuck....i may not go back after this. i'm still sitting on a free round trip bus ticket to anywhere greyhound may carry me... though i am still loving the free baked goods and delicious fresh breads every day. so, who knows. and who needs to know, really?

wing it and swing it. . thats how i do.

i have been babbling for awhile now and my tummy is rumbling so i'm going to head back to my own humble abode and enjoy the rest of the evening in sweet solitude.

my new set is still in mr if you havn't checked it out! i shot technicolor with cherry at hell city in columbus back in may. it was an aaabsolute blast! she rocks and this is definitely my favorite set that i've done so far so all the sweet comments from you guys have meant alot! it is the most true to rexxy-liciousness for sure. i be hopin.





on that note i'll be leaving.

i hope you all have wonderful evenings. what are you up to tonight?

k now. ciao and meow.

<3 Rexx

i wish i lived in a world where we didn’t put so much of our faith into machines

at any given hour of any given day, at some intersection, somewhere
with not a car in sight,
there’s always one person that stops.
waits for the walk sign.
goes.
never a car in sight.

i always laugh a little.

its not that serious, baby.

most things aren't.

in other news i spent sunday at the zoo.

spent a good while staring at the sea dragons and jelly fish
and thinking:
how can one succumb to the worries of the world
how can we live with obstacles to what we truly want
(obstacles are only in the mind. they only exist if we allow them to exist)
how can we take anything too seriously besides living life to the fullest,
for what we want and love and not what's easiest. what will raise the least question,
when such wondrous and seemingly impossible creatures exist as these?

a thought that somehow made sense and didn't at the same time,
but it was there.

i moved on to the penguins and was standing transfixed as they zipped past through the water
children were screaming. pointing. crying. complaining. poking the glass.
running into me and everyone.
strollers took up space.
people looked unhappy, took up space.
couples held hands and stopped and walked on.
some smiled and it was nice,
some took up space.
babies shit their diapers.
penguins dove and swam
and didn't care.
the world stood still.
people looked hurried, dissatisfied,
took up space.
i just didn't understand the sadness and strange clarity in that moment at all
but i did understand, perfectly.

i smiled and walked on.
wondering what do i really want, now.

whats next.

i could use a drink over good conversation flowing like the hair of a mermaid in the sea.
flowing like the sea itself.
meaning something like the sea
(in winter, sunrise, noone around)

i could use the sea.

something deep and wondrously paralyzing.



anyway i'm at the coffeshop and my time is out.

this probably makes no sense at all

<3 Rexx

p.s. thanks again for all the sweet comments on my new set
technicolor

hi babies

i'm just listening to a mixture of converge and bugs chirping outside.
fiddling with a crossword puzzle.
nibbling on yummy chinese food from the sketchy corner joint.
but somehow the sketchy corner joint is always the best there is in any given city...
actually, sam wo in san francisco is the best and it happens not to be located on a corner...



i miss R3X , partner in sam wo crime.

i miss traveling the entire country by myself, i should do that again sometime...

or perhaps not alone. takers?

life is at a strange point.
i'm renewing a lease which i have never done.
actually, i have never even lived anywhere for an entire year.
i am twenty-three. i havn't stopped moving since i moved out at eighteen.
i get antsy.
i'm actually on the brink of antsy now but i am content in pittsburgh and don't wish to leave at the moment.

i do however feel that a big change in life is needed, of some sort, and that i will want to leave before the year is up.
change my job? coffeeshop? roommates? pants?

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.

and thats ok.

do i want to go back to school? maybe.

the truth is, i just don't know. and i'm comfortable with that and things will come as they will. life is enjoyable. and i feel confident that soon i will know. or i will just suddently be overwhelmed by one of my crazy ideas and days later find myself living in an igloo or roaming the californian streets because i was craving an in n' out burger or writing insane poems in the middle of the desert with nothing but my trusty tiny traveling pack.

a few new adventures coming up. a visit to jersey/new york to visit zepp101. the boyfriends tour finally hitting pittsburgh so rexx can lovelovelove and have unfathomable quantities of sex. a potential trip to the beach. another potential trip to another beach. boyfriend returning from tour aka trip to virginia. FUCKING DEFTONES IN VIRGINIA AGAIN. deftones in pittsburgh.

and well of course those little everyday adventures i like to embark on like trips to zoos and long nights on the patio with whiskey and my best friend or wandering for hours in search of books or coffee or strangers. anything can be an adventure if yinz got soul

well i don't even know what i'm talking about.

i just started rambling and now who knows where the fuck i have led you. but i guess tis how it goes sometimes.

talk to me loves. do you have anything crazy coming up? adventures? moves? life changes?

what are you reading? what are you doing when you log off?

actually fuck all of that. simply...what are your thoughts?

enquiring rexxys want to know.



also thank you so much for all of the nice comments on my new set in mr by the super amazing cherry !!! it really means alot kiddos. and i mean that. it was incredible meeting cherry, she is super nice and great to work with and i had a blast, as i did the entire hell city weekend. oh, good times. anywho this is my favorite set yet, i think it really shows my true colors and you can see a bit of my little soul, somehow. we'll see what happens.

technicolor
]



i will leave you with the contents of the fortune cookie that came with my nomnoms tonight:

"Silence is a virtual. Especially at Dinner time, for telemarketers"

french vanilla gas station cappuccinos never cease to amaze me.

august already! when did this happen?

its one of those cloudy sundays thats great for no real reason at all.
or maybe it is the cloudiness or the quiet of my house at last or the way everything outside seems to be completely void of motion.

i conquered the interpretation of dreams today. horrah! freud you crazy fucker!
traded in some booksies yesterday for some new ones. or old ones, rather.
got bukowski - the most beautiful woman in town hst - the proud highway and nietzsche - the birth of tragedy.

=

life is good, simple. with just the perfect dash of whiskey nights and insanity.

i'm about to go see yo la tengo in a field for free then retire back to nakedness, books, coffee, candles, incense, and my room for the evening.

then all night i shall wait and wait for it to storm. relentlessly. it looks as though it might and i'm in the mood.

it would be perfect.

dripping wax and lightning bolts.
lying naked in the dark.

i hope you are having a wonderful day my lovely loves. till we meet again...



<3 Rexxy

p.s. something new tomorrow from me and cherry for your viewing pleasure. oh what oh what could it be? keep your eyes peeled and i hope you like.

just showered
velvet underground
incense burning
it feels nice to relax
stay up all night
time of evening when the sky is still blue
but the streets have grown dim
reflections in windows appear more like watercolor paintings

i've grown accustomed to the red and yellow and brick houses
in rows
outside my bedroom window
and finally i don't mind the familiarity
night after night
or knowing i'll be back
after getting gone, again
into the night
emerging into the rising sun, like from a wave
somewhere new
another ticket tucked neatly away
in its little blue envelope
ready to carry me off

no need to wake
no need to sleep
the road trailing off is part of me
like the tiny lines on my hands,
read by psychics late nights in new york
or the scars on my ankles
born late nights elsewhere
to remind me of my past,
old habits dying hard

i don't think i'll ever be able to explain my lust
for late nights and disappearing
and white dashes unveiled by headlights
one by one then gone again
into the black sea of night
as i'm gone again from them.
even when the roads are quaint and empty
i still see them imprinted in darkness whirring by and by and by
forever
curled up in a tiny bus seat
to myself
happy as a pollen drunk bee on a sunflower
or maybe just as happy as the sunflower itself,
waving boldy, alone, in a barren plain
or in the market on a monday
towering above a grey city that seems to cower in the distance
like the people cowering early mornings in the rain
as i dance along half soaked beneath my umbrella smiling at them

millions of tiny dashes lingering on the backs of my eyes
even when i'm fast asleep and asphalt pours
behind me like a jamaican waterfall
like one week ago
waking up to bumps and buslights i stirred and stretched
and stood out in the warm blanket
of the dead of night in late july
for a moment
and i couldn't fathom it,
i couldn't fathom the world. the universe.
i couldn't fathom it at all
and that was alright
it was actually quite perfect

the world. one giant hotel with one billion rooms.
and i always did like the smell and the comfort and the strange familiarity
and everything temporary
and i'm satisfied
checking in and out forever,
my mind and body
and one thousand miles away my soul is curled up at home
sleeping soundly

COFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

first cup all day and it is a huge one. i'm feelin the jittahz comin on.

life life life. just been grillin and chillin and swimmin and sexin and jammin and readin and workin and wanderin and thinkin and lovin and beersin and weedsin and all that jazz.
bawfriend is leaving for tour later this week so i just bought my bus ticket to scurry down to virginia and back to catch some jams and say tata and that means i'm ONE TICKET away from a free ride to anywhere. oh the possibilities. if you want some heavy pleasure in your ears you should go see them and maybe i will come hang out with you too. i'm always trying to hit the road.

sunshiiineeeee is everywhere and i love it but i wouldn't mind a rainy day.

sunshine on muh doggie.

sunshine on muh bed.

sunshine on muh happy rexxy cheeks.




led zeppelin and planes going by
and the hush of a gentle yet persistent breeze
and little red bellied birds
talkin about life and the weather
untying the bathing suit from around my neck
i close my eyes for a second just breathing in
the faint aroma of the sea that lingered all the year
and somewhere waves are breaking
my little heart
to know that i can't reach out and touch them
and write on these pages lying down
in the sands they shatter upon
i turn the stereo off
to let a pure voice
and the gentle twang of a guitar
trickle down from the third floor
i think of winter
clutching hot coffee in a big black mug tightly
to my chest
with the window cracked,
naked,
blowing smoke and tiny contemplations
out into the frigid air
and now its a muggy evening
curtains drawn
broken fan blowing hot air around
and my disheveled hair
on a disheveled bed
lying naked in a bath of sex and smoke-filled air
two empty water glasses lingering on the bookshelf
outside is breathless, still.
i'm lying still.
i'm a hundred miles down the road
with the wind in my hair,
smiling.



<3 Rexxy

hi my loves

i am computer-less once again as you may have been able to tell. i by chance acquired one for a week or so but now its back to our little coffee shop rendezvous together.

well...technically maybe not rendezvous...but i like the sound of it.

i once looked up the definition and recall one option being:
"the process of bringing two spacecraft together"

...i wish we were doing that right now. we'd be some pretty cool motherfuckers now wouldn't we?

ahh, space. ahh, the universe. ahh, lying on roofs late at night for hours on end just talking about and wondering at such things.


coffee + cinnamon =

even on this most sweltering of days i get my coffee hot.
i don't know what it is, the iced just doesn't have the same effect on my bwains and my soul .



i had typed a whole big blog up and wouldn't you know....i got so into type type typing away that i didn't notice my time had run out and lost the whole thing. jesus pissing shitting christ. but, no matter. i'll give you a little quickie then come back for more soon, i can always use a wander and a cup of beehive java.


life is good. simple summer life. long peaceful morning walks to work before the sun gets too hot. busy silly days at the bakery. nights with books and coffee and drinks and thoughts and music and friends.crazy adventures scattered here and there. i am two greyhound tickets away from earning one free ticket to anywhere ...

and i'm almost exactly one year from the day i departed for my last huuuuge adventure.

needless to say whats been on my mind, as of late

somewhere old, somewhere new? somewhere permanent, somewhere the waters are blue?

hehe. i guess we will find out!


anyways babycakes i'm taking myself on a date for a gyro and used books.

till we meet again...



<3 Rexxy

abhorrent |abˈhôrənt; -ˈhär-|
adjective
inspiring disgust and loathing; repugnant

ORIGIN late 16th cent.: from Latin abhorrent- ‘shuddering away from in horror,’ from the verb abhorrere (see abhor ).


yesterday around seven p.m. i was strolling home from a leisurely afternoon reading at the coffee shop, when much to my dismay i came across a cheese puff, swarming with ants, lying in the fresh green grass.

stopped dead in my tracks, i lingered as hundreds of tiny gluttons stifled one of the many sickening and blatantly unnecessary creations of man.
though it appeared upon closer inspection that in this now subdued attack, brought on by lust and greed,
the attackers themselves had long since become the stifled ones.

suddenly feeling like a jackass slowing down to gawk at a car wreck or an unknowingly exposed ass crack or something equally as tragic, i tore my eyes from the sick, sad sliver of the world before me.

though the awful reality no longer burned on my retinas,
a far more repulsive vision crept into my mind.
the sort of vision that deeply disturbs, worse than freddy in the night...

a entire train full of obese, drooling, willing humans unleashed upon a cheese puff the size of a wal-mart super center. (or a target great land, whichever is larger.)

a train full of humans atop a monstrosity of a cheese puff squirming,
inhaling,
worshiping,
CLINGING DESPERATELY,
(a desperation i can only compare to titanic passengers clinging to the last life raft)
...clinging to life itself.

by the time an innocent pedestrian happened upon the scene en-route to her humble abode from the quaint little coffee shop down the road, death lingered heavily in the air.

it had become a battlefield of motionless bodies all just alike and with every last salty, stinking breath sucked out by processed cheese.

oh and the doom did not halt there, with these visions, for i knew that as i enjoyed the sun and the breeze and the way the children danced on the graves atop the hill that afternoon, that hundreds of millions of living, breathing human beings were glued to their television sets awaiting that same filthy yet deserved fate, with the curtains drawn so as not to be disturbed by the radiance of the sun, only that of the television itself and of the microwave preparing sunday dinner for the kids.

oh but lets not speak for the light of heart,
these beings were not merely glued then nor are they ever, but cemented.
and not merely cemented, but dumping the cement willingly onto themselves as they viciously dry humped the television during commercial breaks until they became one with the box and sucked into the vortex of bullshit never to return again.

a place where all are mindless,
robotic,
indistinguishable from the next.
always with too full stomachs,
wishing for fuller wallets,
buying fully loaded entertainment centers.
full of shit and bones and empty souls and washed-out brains.
full of an abhorrent satisfaction with mediocrity.

and before they know it they are plastered dead to a fucking cheese puff, festering in the summer sun.

my room is hot and muggy
but the fan in the window is blowing in air that smells like rain
and its kind of nice if you're just lying still...



i've been listening to fugazi all day in my underwear.

it is rainy rainy rainy and i don't mind.

i don't mind at all.


i plan to spend all night reading and writing and being a nerd in my room.
i don't feel like drinking or putting on clothes.
yes, i am a wild woman.


anywho. i have access to a computer for the next week. CRAZY.
so i thought i would just stop in and say hello.

so hello. i hope you are enjoying the rain or the sun or whatever you have where you are. and goodbye.

<3 Rexxy

sriracha overload on my eggs this morning =

a pleasant mixture of shock and extreme happiness.

hothotdamn! what a fabulous past few weeks its been.

it all began with hell city (pictures to come soon)

on the drive up my man and stevezilla and i listened to highway to hell as we closed in on the final miles of the drive and then blasted thunderstruck as lightning began to flash through the sky and zepp101 held out his hand and lo and behold the largest most electrifyingly epic lightning bolt of them all! twas surely a sign of greatness to come.

upon arrival (far later than planned due to a necessary gorging at waffle house) we immediately began to pound pbrs then proceeded to drink in cheaper bars with warning and her dude aaronis who are pretty much the shit and i would like them to adopt me. well there were many shots of whiskey and shitloads of beers and demolishment of bathrooms via six rolls of paper towels and jams and shaking of ass and, upon realizing we were in the midst of a wedding party, an old men named hanz buying all of our drinks at the end of the night of which i have no complaints...

i woke up the next day and was properly hung over but after shoving a massive five guys burger into my face i was feeling just fine. met a bunch of lovely suicide ladies at the convention, wandered, checked out some incredible tattoo work, pouted over being too broke to get any, sipped pabstses, hung the fuck out, got a tiny gore fix watching the freak show, handed out awards, hung out some more, woke up early on sunday and shot a set with cherry with the help of radeo who were both super awesomely cool and fabulous and it was the most pleasuriest of pleasures to meet them!

hung around the convention a bit longer sunday then zoomed back to pittsburgh to catch helmet.

a band opened for them named the last vegas. they were the biggest collection of douche i have ever seen on a stage. they made statements such as:
"we're the last fucking vegas and we're going to kick your ass! with rock and roll..."
while wearing huge bellbottoms and belts made of ten thousand scarves and leather jackets in the blistering heat. but i did want to thank them for the laughs ...

helmet was solid. good old nineties rock. can't go wrong.

after this me and my man set out on a road trip to milwaukee to see fucking deftones. stopped in chicago for a night and returned to the drool-worthy kuma's corner for some dank ass burgs. give me a pile of grease and blast death metal for my ears and i am a happy girl. kumas makes me a very happy girl. last time i got the slayer burger, this time i went for the black sabbath:



yeah. that was IN ME. every last drop of the fucker.

ok so i left a tiny bit. TINY. sue me.

arrived in milwaukee. stumbled upon the summer home of CAPTAIN PABST. captain. fucking pabst. the man that grew dem hops son. dear sir: when i can not afford the bitterest of ipas and the chocolatiest of stouts: I SALUTE YOU.



ok so onto more important matters. i've been waiting to see deftones since the fucking 90's and they rocked my goddamned little rexxy world. they played for almost TWO HOURS. chino was lookin fly. stefans hair was gnarley as always. new bass player held it down. set list was jizzworthy.

Rocket Skates
Diamond Eyes
CMND/CTRL
Feiticeira
Knife Prty
Elite
You've Seen The Butcher
Sextape
Royal
Birthmark
When Girls Telephone Boys
Minerva
Prince
Beauty School
Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)
Around the Fur
Lotion
My Own Summer (Shove It)
Passenger
Change (In the House of Flies)
Encore:
Root
7 Words

thank you, deftones.
thank you, the rave, for being a sick venue.
and thank you, crowd, for being die hard and mosh-tastical.

back to pittsburgh we went and the last days of my 'vacation' were spent grilling out. sunshine. beers. whiskey. sex. and great times.

i definitely needed the road in my life. two road trips in one week? even better. fucking in every state along the way? even even better. i am a happy rexx. i've been a happy rexx for a very long time now.

needless to say i've got the fuckin bug again. the travel bug that is.
the insanity bug.
the i need to do something radical sometime soon bug.

well...one of my random stream of consciousness blogs is soon to come but i'll stick to updates for now.

sunday i said goodbye to the boy and walked down the street to my best friends abode upon which we made beer floats. BEER FLOATS. double chocolate stout and vanilla ice cream. and reminisced about our wild lives while sipping booze and smoking cigs on the porch like old men.

seriously...beer floats. try it sometime.

alright well today i returned to the bakery. and 'normal' life or something of that nature and hopefully its not for long. i don't like to be without some form of insanity for more than a week or so at a time...

i'm about to go make some spaghetti smothered in sriracha and catch up on my nerdosity while burning incense and listening to some jams. i'm feeling jazzy. perhaps some gil scott-heron. and definitely books. i havn't read in about a week and a half and woe is me. i'm catching up on my mythology and my past of being a complete latin geek (latin student of the year 2004 mother fuckers) which is quite breezy reads and am debating whether to begin the idiot or house of the dead next...and by next i mean maybe tonight. man. i love me some dostoevsky. i sense an up all-nighter of books and pen and paper coming on...

who wants to brew me a cup a joe?

ah. the divine combination of java and delicious word candy is to die for, to me.

well yes. my tummy is a rumbling and i can tell the dog wishes to frolic in the grass before the sun goes down so i'm going to go get on these things.

that is what i have been up to.

life is grand.

tell me about yours?
what are you doing?
what are you listening to?
what are your thoughts on hot dogs wrapped in bacon?
who lives by an ocean and wants a visit soon?



k babays...till next time

<3 Rexx