PICS
"..and sometimes i am glad they are here, dying in the sun, uprooted, tricked by their heartlessness, the same faces, the same set, hard mouths. fulfilling the emptiness of their lives under a blazing sun."
"..let her live with stones and sky, with the wind blowing her hair to the end. let her go that way.'
-fante.
leaves fetched
months ago,
carried by soft hands
that never wished to bear
roses,
only this bouquet,
elegant in death and without
pretension,
dried,
resting atop one pile of
books
out of so many
that they soon
will become the shelves
for which other things will rest upon.
more books, i'm sure..
particles floating
towards them
in beams of sun
when one wakes at
just the right moment
of the afternoon.
<3 Rexx
"..let her live with stones and sky, with the wind blowing her hair to the end. let her go that way.'
-fante.
leaves fetched
months ago,
carried by soft hands
that never wished to bear
roses,
only this bouquet,
elegant in death and without
pretension,
dried,
resting atop one pile of
books
out of so many
that they soon
will become the shelves
for which other things will rest upon.
more books, i'm sure..
particles floating
towards them
in beams of sun
when one wakes at
just the right moment
of the afternoon.
<3 Rexx
mid-day musings.
amid mid-day listenings:
grails - doomsdayer's holiday
gojira - the way of all flesh
nirvana - bleach
nails - unsilent death
contentment
watching snow fall
from a familiar watering hole window
and from the door,
pile up
while beer slides down
i've peered through these
panes of glass
something like
eight-hundred days out of
the past
nine-hundred and twelve..
point five.
give or take.
(apathy towards dates and new years)
tis the season for soups in bake shops, coffee shops, delis, and the like all up and down my little old town, one mile, one street neighborhood here in pittsburgh.
and soups, i am certainly not apathetic towards.
nor to the couple of miles of street stretching in either direction from my abode.
its one of the most charming places for afternoon wanderings.
never too many steps without a cat asleep in a store window.
miles of graves spun with endless trees,
flawless in any weather,
even capable of being lost in..
always nice, close to home,
if you like uncertainty and such things
i suppose i have a grand affection for this town.
it will be sad to leave and leaving is in the future
but leaving
i also have a grand affection for
so, we shall see.
i've been working in downtown pittsburgh for years now
it is hell for wind in the winter, the way it whips through the buildings.
i want to buy one thousand tiny scarves and bundle up every cold pigeon that i see.
in addition to being a hermit i have gone out and done some things
me and the boy went home virginia for a few days for the holidays
ate cookies, had family time
had late, drunk nights with old friends time
got to check-in to my favorite sleazy motel
last week i checked out the dangerous curves ahead burlesque show at the rex theatre here
pretty nifty, tits and ass. beer. personality.
also caught some killer local bands: heartless and code orange kids as well as a pretty sick band, death rats from d.c.
getting really nineties and going to see the lemonheads next week? thinking about it.
'the individual is lost in the destiny of the species and the eternal movement of the spheres..the primordial sea indefatigably repeats the same words and casts up the same astonished beings on the same seashore..the delicate equilibrium between humanity and nature, man's consent to the world, which gives ancient thought it's distinction and its refulgence, was first shattered for the benefit of history by christianity'
-albert camus
tis the season to be jolly that all signs reading "happy birthday, jesus" are or will soon be removed.
lie to your children about santa, not jesus.
all of my lightbulbs are burnt out however i am without ladder and cannot even reach them standing on a chair. in addition, all of my candles have burned down to the nubs.
i'm off of work until thursday.
santa got me a membership to the amazing aviary we have here
i plan to spend a good chunk of tomorrow with the birds
until then i plan to be naked
light up some good greens
do yoga
and read my night away
by flashlight.
live well, my love biscuits.
i hope your wintery days are sweet until we meet again.
<3 Rexx
amid mid-day listenings:
grails - doomsdayer's holiday
gojira - the way of all flesh
nirvana - bleach
nails - unsilent death
contentment
watching snow fall
from a familiar watering hole window
and from the door,
pile up
while beer slides down
i've peered through these
panes of glass
something like
eight-hundred days out of
the past
nine-hundred and twelve..
point five.
give or take.
(apathy towards dates and new years)
tis the season for soups in bake shops, coffee shops, delis, and the like all up and down my little old town, one mile, one street neighborhood here in pittsburgh.
and soups, i am certainly not apathetic towards.
nor to the couple of miles of street stretching in either direction from my abode.
its one of the most charming places for afternoon wanderings.
never too many steps without a cat asleep in a store window.
miles of graves spun with endless trees,
flawless in any weather,
even capable of being lost in..
always nice, close to home,
if you like uncertainty and such things
i suppose i have a grand affection for this town.
it will be sad to leave and leaving is in the future
but leaving
i also have a grand affection for
so, we shall see.
i've been working in downtown pittsburgh for years now
it is hell for wind in the winter, the way it whips through the buildings.
i want to buy one thousand tiny scarves and bundle up every cold pigeon that i see.
in addition to being a hermit i have gone out and done some things
me and the boy went home virginia for a few days for the holidays
ate cookies, had family time
had late, drunk nights with old friends time
got to check-in to my favorite sleazy motel
last week i checked out the dangerous curves ahead burlesque show at the rex theatre here
pretty nifty, tits and ass. beer. personality.
also caught some killer local bands: heartless and code orange kids as well as a pretty sick band, death rats from d.c.
getting really nineties and going to see the lemonheads next week? thinking about it.
'the individual is lost in the destiny of the species and the eternal movement of the spheres..the primordial sea indefatigably repeats the same words and casts up the same astonished beings on the same seashore..the delicate equilibrium between humanity and nature, man's consent to the world, which gives ancient thought it's distinction and its refulgence, was first shattered for the benefit of history by christianity'
-albert camus
tis the season to be jolly that all signs reading "happy birthday, jesus" are or will soon be removed.
lie to your children about santa, not jesus.
all of my lightbulbs are burnt out however i am without ladder and cannot even reach them standing on a chair. in addition, all of my candles have burned down to the nubs.
i'm off of work until thursday.
santa got me a membership to the amazing aviary we have here
i plan to spend a good chunk of tomorrow with the birds
until then i plan to be naked
light up some good greens
do yoga
and read my night away
by flashlight.
live well, my love biscuits.
i hope your wintery days are sweet until we meet again.
<3 Rexx
"does progress really exist?"
it all seems just a series of rearrangements.
i miss wild nights. the way my hair looks in the morning in a trashy motel mirror. tapping cigarette ashes daintily into a tiny, plastic cup, one of two. the cellophane on the floor, beer cans. feeling eyes on my ass bending over admiring smudged eyeliner and the reflection of a tumultuous bed. the whole scene sweetly disheveled. knowing the coffee is foul but brewing it anyhow. because its there, included in the thirty-five dollar package.
i love a good roast but more so
the shitty diner variety
always on the verge of burnt
just weak enough so that you can
say yes
all night
grasp the warm mug and sip
over conversation
even
fall asleep to the rising of the sun
do you ever feel in the middle of the night that every time the waitress shuffles over with the pot,
"more coffee?"
(and it never matters how she says it: friendly, jaded, or indifferent)
and you say
"yes",
that it somehow freezes time. or prolongs it? or just makes you question it?
i overdosed on salt last night. but i cannot help it. it is delicious.
thanksgiving was good. i had to work but eventually got around to making the meal. we made pulled pork instead of bird. the turkey was of the wild and liquid variety.
i'm dying to shoot a new set.
i'm dying for a road trip. it doesn't have to be too far, just sexy and strange.
i do not feel that i have much to say, these days. to anyone.
and so i don't.
but it is not that i am not thinking one million thoughts.
the spoken word has never been my forte. sometimes i just let it go.
i noticed the first frost dusted atop the grass and leaves this morning on a brisk walk home.
hibernation season.
less people on the streets = more rexx on the streets.
i should be doing school work but i would much rather read the night away
and that is just what i think i'll do.
i come across so many pretty girls around here that read the greats, my greats, and write most wonderful things. where are they in the real, near world?
i'm so thankful at times that i stumbled across the s.g. universe five years ago.
if it weren't for here, i may have given up on humanity completely!
well, i'm sure that isn't so.
but we do have a nice thing here, don't we?
even if i never speak to some people just reading their lovely thoughts and actions and quirks is enough.
just knowing they do exist.
it is a dull sea out there in the tangible world sometimes,
everything looks the same as far as the eye can see.
only you know what's beneath the surface
and it sure is not anything worth bothering with.
i am very glad for the ripples.
thank you, ripples.
well, i suppose i have confused you enough by now.
happy days and sweet dreams till next time, my love biscuits.
rexxy, out.
<3
it all seems just a series of rearrangements.
i miss wild nights. the way my hair looks in the morning in a trashy motel mirror. tapping cigarette ashes daintily into a tiny, plastic cup, one of two. the cellophane on the floor, beer cans. feeling eyes on my ass bending over admiring smudged eyeliner and the reflection of a tumultuous bed. the whole scene sweetly disheveled. knowing the coffee is foul but brewing it anyhow. because its there, included in the thirty-five dollar package.
i love a good roast but more so
the shitty diner variety
always on the verge of burnt
just weak enough so that you can
say yes
all night
grasp the warm mug and sip
over conversation
even
fall asleep to the rising of the sun
do you ever feel in the middle of the night that every time the waitress shuffles over with the pot,
"more coffee?"
(and it never matters how she says it: friendly, jaded, or indifferent)
and you say
"yes",
that it somehow freezes time. or prolongs it? or just makes you question it?
i overdosed on salt last night. but i cannot help it. it is delicious.
thanksgiving was good. i had to work but eventually got around to making the meal. we made pulled pork instead of bird. the turkey was of the wild and liquid variety.
i'm dying to shoot a new set.
i'm dying for a road trip. it doesn't have to be too far, just sexy and strange.
i do not feel that i have much to say, these days. to anyone.
and so i don't.
but it is not that i am not thinking one million thoughts.
the spoken word has never been my forte. sometimes i just let it go.
i noticed the first frost dusted atop the grass and leaves this morning on a brisk walk home.
hibernation season.
less people on the streets = more rexx on the streets.
i should be doing school work but i would much rather read the night away
and that is just what i think i'll do.
i come across so many pretty girls around here that read the greats, my greats, and write most wonderful things. where are they in the real, near world?
i'm so thankful at times that i stumbled across the s.g. universe five years ago.
if it weren't for here, i may have given up on humanity completely!
well, i'm sure that isn't so.
but we do have a nice thing here, don't we?
even if i never speak to some people just reading their lovely thoughts and actions and quirks is enough.
just knowing they do exist.
it is a dull sea out there in the tangible world sometimes,
everything looks the same as far as the eye can see.
only you know what's beneath the surface
and it sure is not anything worth bothering with.
i am very glad for the ripples.
thank you, ripples.
well, i suppose i have confused you enough by now.
happy days and sweet dreams till next time, my love biscuits.
rexxy, out.
<3
no work until the night
+ porn
+ air
+ coffee
+ lacy black skivvies
+ fresh blackberries
------------------------------
= good morning in my bed.
things i am reading:
Bukowski - War All the Time
Celine - Death on the Installment Plan
things i am listening to:
Air - Moon Safari
Blut Aus Nord - MoRt
Skinny Puppy - Cleanse, Fold, and Manipulate
Pig Destroyer - Phantom Limb
Caravels - Floorboards
Humble Pie - Smokin'
Earth - The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull
all over the place.
i registered for more classes next semester.
after which i should be able to delve into the realm of mortuary studies and also
plan to be leaving the pitts with my boo for a last hoorah in richmond
bourbon + root beer
long walks
leaves
spliffs
fall + winter
a good time to let falling leaves and wind pelt you in the face
remind yourself you're alive
perhaps the thing would be to slit the throats of all those who don't catch on, d' you think? and let more of them, more of the poor, be born--and so on until some lot came along who understood the joke, the whole of the joke..as you go on mowing a lawn until the grass is really good and lush. (celine)
traffic is perpetually growing more abhorrent.
immobile, metal heaps.
thousands in every direction all attempting to converge in a state of repetitive mediocrity
at a limited number of intersections.
seven billion human beings and counting. and counting. and..
your studies won't be any use to you here, my lad. you haven't come here to think, but to go through the motions that you'll be told to make..we've no use for intellectuals in this outfit. what we need is chimpanzees. let me give you a word of advice: never say a word to us about being intelligent. we will think for you, my friend. don't forget it.'
i turn my head and walk on.
brush the trunk of a tree with my fingertips in passing.
happy, at least, that i've clung to my guts and my soul
for twenty four years
and that the sidewalks remain empty for me.
remnants of a mickey mouse stamp on my hand
but the heavy beer and the iggy pop and the vintage smutty film was perfect last night
and so i do not mind
that is the least we can do for ourselves in this life
not mind
if you can't love it at least don't mind it and if you mind it
leave it.
don't think about it. just fuck it to oblivion. vamoose. smithereens. nothingness. gone.
don't mind.
the day, as we have deemed it, is young and beautiful in more ways than one.
i'm going to knock out a paper i've to write, do some naked yoga
and then frolic about in it as i see fit.
goodbye, my love biscuits..
remove the cucumbers from your eyes!!
you cannot carpe the diem with pants on.
<3 Rexxy
+ porn
+ air
+ coffee
+ lacy black skivvies
+ fresh blackberries
------------------------------
= good morning in my bed.
things i am reading:
Bukowski - War All the Time
Celine - Death on the Installment Plan
things i am listening to:
Air - Moon Safari
Blut Aus Nord - MoRt
Skinny Puppy - Cleanse, Fold, and Manipulate
Pig Destroyer - Phantom Limb
Caravels - Floorboards
Humble Pie - Smokin'
Earth - The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull
all over the place.
i registered for more classes next semester.
after which i should be able to delve into the realm of mortuary studies and also
plan to be leaving the pitts with my boo for a last hoorah in richmond
bourbon + root beer
long walks
leaves
spliffs
fall + winter
a good time to let falling leaves and wind pelt you in the face
remind yourself you're alive
perhaps the thing would be to slit the throats of all those who don't catch on, d' you think? and let more of them, more of the poor, be born--and so on until some lot came along who understood the joke, the whole of the joke..as you go on mowing a lawn until the grass is really good and lush. (celine)
traffic is perpetually growing more abhorrent.
immobile, metal heaps.
thousands in every direction all attempting to converge in a state of repetitive mediocrity
at a limited number of intersections.
seven billion human beings and counting. and counting. and..
your studies won't be any use to you here, my lad. you haven't come here to think, but to go through the motions that you'll be told to make..we've no use for intellectuals in this outfit. what we need is chimpanzees. let me give you a word of advice: never say a word to us about being intelligent. we will think for you, my friend. don't forget it.'
i turn my head and walk on.
brush the trunk of a tree with my fingertips in passing.
happy, at least, that i've clung to my guts and my soul
for twenty four years
and that the sidewalks remain empty for me.
remnants of a mickey mouse stamp on my hand
but the heavy beer and the iggy pop and the vintage smutty film was perfect last night
and so i do not mind
that is the least we can do for ourselves in this life
not mind
if you can't love it at least don't mind it and if you mind it
leave it.
don't think about it. just fuck it to oblivion. vamoose. smithereens. nothingness. gone.
don't mind.
the day, as we have deemed it, is young and beautiful in more ways than one.
i'm going to knock out a paper i've to write, do some naked yoga
and then frolic about in it as i see fit.
goodbye, my love biscuits..
remove the cucumbers from your eyes!!
you cannot carpe the diem with pants on.
<3 Rexxy
hello, my love slices.
its a warm fall day here in the pitts. quite nice. had a lovely stroll home through the leaf-showered graves.
the yellows are my favorite.
its been awhile since my last blog. i could bother with all the fill-ins but i am currently plagued with sniffles and sneezes and my brain can't handle such reminiscences at the moment. a few random thoughts and highlights should suffice for meow.
for halloween i was a polar bear who ate a kid who climbed over the fence at the zoo:
PB's have been my favorite animal since before i can even remember so it was about time i put myself in their shoes.
i got some black and white film from years ago developed. these are from a road trip i took to mexico city with zepp101 to see radiohead. (who will be touring again this year at last and i couldn't be happier about it)
i spent this past weekend in nyc which was an all out raging good time. the food, the beer, the whiskey, the babes, and everything else was just what i needed. i've been working my ass off and those three days away felt like a forgotten dream. it gave me the push i needed to drop job number two. i saved up a bit and i just don't want to do it anymore. i miss being broke and happy. having time. surviving on free loaves of bread from the bakery with fifty cent cans of tomato soup for dipping. reading, writing all day. watching the birds. wandering for miles on end. having the time to really know who i am. having time to be in love. merely having time to think. to listen to music in the foreground. to buy five pornos for 19.95 (a damn good deal. damn!)
humanity. what scum. mostly.
i took the advice of charles bukowski and picked up celine:
a few pages left and i already got a finely used copy of death on the installment plan as well.
i have found a new favorite writer to add to my list.
there is a stinkbug in here causing a ruckus.
he is pelting his noisy body into all sorts of things.
but i still find him an adorable little adventurer of sorts.
i don't ever run and i wish my nose wouldn't either.
GIVE ME A HOT TODDIE OR GIVE ME DEATH!!!
OR JUST PLAIN BOURBON, DAMNIT!!!
well i do suppose this has been short.
but hopefully, sweet.
a little afternoon romp..
then to work i go.
more free time coming up and thus..
i shall talk to you soon.
why do we always say 'i hope life is peachy!' ?
well,
i hope life is fuckin' zucchini.
peace and love, baby.
<3 Rexx
its a warm fall day here in the pitts. quite nice. had a lovely stroll home through the leaf-showered graves.
the yellows are my favorite.
its been awhile since my last blog. i could bother with all the fill-ins but i am currently plagued with sniffles and sneezes and my brain can't handle such reminiscences at the moment. a few random thoughts and highlights should suffice for meow.
for halloween i was a polar bear who ate a kid who climbed over the fence at the zoo:
PB's have been my favorite animal since before i can even remember so it was about time i put myself in their shoes.
i got some black and white film from years ago developed. these are from a road trip i took to mexico city with zepp101 to see radiohead. (who will be touring again this year at last and i couldn't be happier about it)
i spent this past weekend in nyc which was an all out raging good time. the food, the beer, the whiskey, the babes, and everything else was just what i needed. i've been working my ass off and those three days away felt like a forgotten dream. it gave me the push i needed to drop job number two. i saved up a bit and i just don't want to do it anymore. i miss being broke and happy. having time. surviving on free loaves of bread from the bakery with fifty cent cans of tomato soup for dipping. reading, writing all day. watching the birds. wandering for miles on end. having the time to really know who i am. having time to be in love. merely having time to think. to listen to music in the foreground. to buy five pornos for 19.95 (a damn good deal. damn!)
humanity. what scum. mostly.
i took the advice of charles bukowski and picked up celine:
a few pages left and i already got a finely used copy of death on the installment plan as well.
i have found a new favorite writer to add to my list.
there is a stinkbug in here causing a ruckus.
he is pelting his noisy body into all sorts of things.
but i still find him an adorable little adventurer of sorts.
i don't ever run and i wish my nose wouldn't either.
GIVE ME A HOT TODDIE OR GIVE ME DEATH!!!
OR JUST PLAIN BOURBON, DAMNIT!!!
well i do suppose this has been short.
but hopefully, sweet.
a little afternoon romp..
then to work i go.
more free time coming up and thus..
i shall talk to you soon.
why do we always say 'i hope life is peachy!' ?
well,
i hope life is fuckin' zucchini.
peace and love, baby.
<3 Rexx
with a constant access to a meter of time
we do not realize time
how wonderfully unique and how innumerable
are the changes in each moment
the outing of a light
sway of a curtain
twitch of a dog's ear in a window up above
a wildly dancing branch
it's then seemingly complete stillness
(and how i wish to be so wildly blown by wind and yet remain rooted
and yet i suppose that i am. my endless hair my branches)
i have not appreciated time fully until i am removed from its noticeability in measurement
tonight i did not watch minutes tick by
i watched moments occur
the tiniest nuance seemed not to escape my eye or cease to be admired
i realize my self and my place in these moments
shift the body to feel new moments
seek the other changes that occur just as this created moment occurs
almost feeling the turn of the earth
vibrations of ending and beginning
what is over, gone, will never again occur just as it were
i realize without this awareness of time as we have managed to disperse it
that i am no longer waiting
i am noticing new details in this place i nightly stand
i feel as though life is more susceptible now to spontaneous interactions
i feel more open to actions that occur around me
encounters that may happen
i feel neither patient nor impatient
these concepts no longer exist
if time were not specifically measured in hours and minutes
if hours and minutes were not specifically assigned to certain activities
could the universe function?
or i suppose the question is
could humanity function? and if the inevitable is relentless disorder would it be of a superb sort?
or would this create disfunction in the entire universe?
well i suppose none of those questions really matters
though i did lose my phone on saturday and paying hardly a bit of attention to time throughout the days since then has been quite refreshing. and thus i rambled.
a strange coincidence that after i rambled these thoughts in my head the other night i stumbled across this today while reading:
"The tick tock of our watches is so mechanically jerky that we no longer have ears subtle enough to hear the passage of time."
-Bachelard
in other news..
after over two years without having a computer..
(drum roll, please.)
rexxy finally got herself a macbook.
and so perhaps we will be seeing a bit more of each other around these parts? hmm?
till next time my love oats..
<3 Rexx
chirp.
what a lovely day.
the sun is bright and pure, not a cloud in the sky.
there is a chill in the air so slight it barely raises a goose bump on my bare arms.
suspended ghosts sway in the breeze and i think how i'd like to, too.
an unexpected weekday afternoon, free.
awoke to sun, wrote a paper, did yoga
(all naked.)
made extra crisp, peppered bacon, spicy scrambled eggs, a bagel with cream cheese and raspberries, a huge glass of orange juice and a pot of french roast, black as the devil's dick.
(sadly, not naked.)
i have been working, working, working and within the next year i hope to move into a house free of roommates where i can open all of the windows and make bare skin the norm for all activities.
life has been beautiful.
watching tigers frolic and play like pet kittens
staring an elephant in the eye
which seemed to engulf my entire being,
mere inches away, through glass.
sharing a mutual love of fancy eyelashes with a giraffe
drinking every pumpkin beer i can get my hands on
eating pumpkin pancakes
and pumpkin cookies
drinking pumpkin spice manhattans and
pumpkin spice bourbon coffskey
surrounding myself with ghoulishness
succeeding in online schooling
reading the poetics of space
watching young frankenstein and all available films full of horror and gore
fucking
extreme incense and candle burning
advancing nicely in my naked yoga-ing
chili making
biscuit baking
adventure taking.
listening to:
narrows - new distances
black elk - always a six never a nine
mogwai - the hawk is howling
neurosis - enemy of the sun
tis the season to be jolly.
october is my favorite month of the year.
i have not taken any wild adventures wide and far in some time now
and i have realized that i'm ok with that
i've been delving far more deeply into all of the marvelous culture and activity that pittsburgh has to offer
it is a magnificent little city and i'm loving finally experiencing it fully after all these years
i feel that we often do not get to know our own location and explore it quite as deeply and with the same verve that we do when we travel to somewhere new and unfamiliar
working my rexxy ass off has been paying off
and now the work has leveled out to a normal pace
(which i tend to keep less than the normal work pace of most )
and i feel accomplished in a way that i have not in years
my feet are itching for a bus seat and pavement flowing hundreds of miles behind me so
next weekend a small adventure to new york city perhaps or perhaps elsewhere will ensue
though my burning love for kati rolls is in need of a quenching...
how i wish i had not put off getting a passport as i am dying to attend the everything to do with sex show. i do suppose it is not possible to acquire a passport in two weeks. next fucking year.
well, my love berries, i just wanted to say hello and catch up and share some thoughts.
how has everything been with you?
i'm going to go sip coffee on the porch
head to work for a few hours
and then its off to rich's fright farm. my first haunted house of the year!
peace and love, baby.
<3 Rexxy
what a lovely day.
the sun is bright and pure, not a cloud in the sky.
there is a chill in the air so slight it barely raises a goose bump on my bare arms.
suspended ghosts sway in the breeze and i think how i'd like to, too.
an unexpected weekday afternoon, free.
awoke to sun, wrote a paper, did yoga
(all naked.)
made extra crisp, peppered bacon, spicy scrambled eggs, a bagel with cream cheese and raspberries, a huge glass of orange juice and a pot of french roast, black as the devil's dick.
(sadly, not naked.)
i have been working, working, working and within the next year i hope to move into a house free of roommates where i can open all of the windows and make bare skin the norm for all activities.
life has been beautiful.
watching tigers frolic and play like pet kittens
staring an elephant in the eye
which seemed to engulf my entire being,
mere inches away, through glass.
sharing a mutual love of fancy eyelashes with a giraffe
drinking every pumpkin beer i can get my hands on
eating pumpkin pancakes
and pumpkin cookies
drinking pumpkin spice manhattans and
pumpkin spice bourbon coffskey
surrounding myself with ghoulishness
succeeding in online schooling
reading the poetics of space
watching young frankenstein and all available films full of horror and gore
fucking
extreme incense and candle burning
advancing nicely in my naked yoga-ing
chili making
biscuit baking
adventure taking.
listening to:
narrows - new distances
black elk - always a six never a nine
mogwai - the hawk is howling
neurosis - enemy of the sun
tis the season to be jolly.
october is my favorite month of the year.
i have not taken any wild adventures wide and far in some time now
and i have realized that i'm ok with that
i've been delving far more deeply into all of the marvelous culture and activity that pittsburgh has to offer
it is a magnificent little city and i'm loving finally experiencing it fully after all these years
i feel that we often do not get to know our own location and explore it quite as deeply and with the same verve that we do when we travel to somewhere new and unfamiliar
working my rexxy ass off has been paying off
and now the work has leveled out to a normal pace
(which i tend to keep less than the normal work pace of most
)and i feel accomplished in a way that i have not in years
my feet are itching for a bus seat and pavement flowing hundreds of miles behind me so
next weekend a small adventure to new york city perhaps or perhaps elsewhere will ensue
though my burning love for kati rolls is in need of a quenching...
how i wish i had not put off getting a passport as i am dying to attend the everything to do with sex show. i do suppose it is not possible to acquire a passport in two weeks. next fucking year.
well, my love berries, i just wanted to say hello and catch up and share some thoughts.
how has everything been with you?
i'm going to go sip coffee on the porch
head to work for a few hours
and then its off to rich's fright farm. my first haunted house of the year!
peace and love, baby.
<3 Rexxy
hello there, my love biscuits.
its been awhile..
pumpkin beers have arrived,
leaves have begun to warm hue.
and before we know it those pumpkin beers will turn to chocolate stouts
those leaves will have fallen,
their branches only barren until cozily tucked in by snow.
bourbon and hot, hot coffee will warm the body and the soul and taste their tastiest, somehow.
curled up
bodies warm, faces chilled
in the morning whipped by wind but its all
sugar on the rim
i've been a busy bee.
working a million hours a week between two jobs
started three online classes
and in between: arcades, huge cheeseburgers, bourbon-caramel-pretzel milkshakes, strip clubs, museums, out of town visitors, baseball games, grill-outs, book reading, nerdin', sewin', lovin, rockin.
bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
bzzzz
bzzzzzzzzz
and now the work is dying down and just in time for fall and winter
when i must be freeeeeeeee
to wander wander wander
and wonder wonder wonder
and relish the skin, bones, and soul that i am
and relish the feeling of skin on skin
(face still chilled outside of blankets)
and bones upon bones upon bones
(for halloween is upon us and skeletons rule anyways.)
reads since we last spoke:
play the piano drunk like a percussion instrument until the fingers begin to bleed a bit - bukowski
san francisco blues - kerouac
the origin of species - darwin
next on my bookshelf:
- journey to the end of the night - celine
-the poetics of space - gaston bachelard (i read about this in annalee 's blog. stoked on it!)
-the complete rimbaud - rimbaud/wallace fowlie
well, its been short and sweet.
but someone nearby has turned on the television and i can't stand it.
not even the sound.
especially the sound of a man's voice saying :
"its nearing fall and everyone is getting excited about all the new shows.."
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
on second thought,
be excited about those shows.
stay inside,
don't wait till winter.
cater to my misanthropic rapture!!
i'll be back soon!
i'm alive and life is lovely.
i hope you are amazing tonight.
pumpkinpatchesandbaconandrainbowsandjazzcowsforeverrrr.
<3 Rexxy
its been awhile..
pumpkin beers have arrived,
leaves have begun to warm hue.
and before we know it those pumpkin beers will turn to chocolate stouts
those leaves will have fallen,
their branches only barren until cozily tucked in by snow.
bourbon and hot, hot coffee will warm the body and the soul and taste their tastiest, somehow.
curled up
bodies warm, faces chilled
in the morning whipped by wind but its all
sugar on the rim
i've been a busy bee.
working a million hours a week between two jobs
started three online classes
and in between: arcades, huge cheeseburgers, bourbon-caramel-pretzel milkshakes, strip clubs, museums, out of town visitors, baseball games, grill-outs, book reading, nerdin', sewin', lovin, rockin.
bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
bzzzz
bzzzzzzzzz
and now the work is dying down and just in time for fall and winter
when i must be freeeeeeeee
to wander wander wander
and wonder wonder wonder
and relish the skin, bones, and soul that i am
and relish the feeling of skin on skin
(face still chilled outside of blankets)
and bones upon bones upon bones
(for halloween is upon us and skeletons rule anyways.)
reads since we last spoke:
play the piano drunk like a percussion instrument until the fingers begin to bleed a bit - bukowski
san francisco blues - kerouac
the origin of species - darwin
next on my bookshelf:
- journey to the end of the night - celine
-the poetics of space - gaston bachelard (i read about this in annalee 's blog. stoked on it!)
-the complete rimbaud - rimbaud/wallace fowlie
well, its been short and sweet.
but someone nearby has turned on the television and i can't stand it.
not even the sound.
especially the sound of a man's voice saying :
"its nearing fall and everyone is getting excited about all the new shows.."
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
on second thought,
be excited about those shows.
stay inside,
don't wait till winter.
cater to my misanthropic rapture!!
i'll be back soon!
i'm alive and life is lovely.
i hope you are amazing tonight.
pumpkinpatchesandbaconandrainbowsandjazzcowsforeverrrr.
<3 Rexxy
been reading of sperm whales
larger than dinosaurs yet more comparable
to kittens wearing mittens,
rolling about in the sea
"...middle of solitary seas , you find him unbent from the vast corpulence of his dignity, and kitten-like, he plays on the ocean as if it were a hearth."
once they have grown jaded by their kind
drift round and round the world
all alone
for eternity
and feed the leagues of life below in their death
i think of them as i sit alone on my porch
the afternoon is warm, but not hot
my coffee is strong and rests in its mug
upon my legs
balance /ˈbæləns/ [bal-uhns]
noun
1. a state of equilibrium
every so often the wind and its chimes keep me company
the ant on the railing,
the sound of flapping wings,
a shadow
grazing the rooftop across the way..
its bird bursts into the sky as if through a portal in the atmosphere
a product of addiction walks by
smoking a newport
wide as her shriveled arm.
eyes sunken but not dead.
humming along to an invisible tune
"she gored the dark waves in her madness"
hendrix riffs blasting
from a small red car out front..
it is the pot-bellied neighbor driving away.
oh, all the solitary creatures of today
each with a certain verve
knowingly no better than the other
and i wonder if a lone whale in its hundredth year
is thinking of us up here
above water,
all of us that realize life decays,
every morsel of it,
and therefore live it most preciously,
(as a part of the earth, not a slave to false kingship)
knowing
that humanity wears no crown.
music:
neurosis - enemy of the sun
bloody panda -summon
godflesh - street cleaner
coffee.
sunshine.
happiness.
"..for there is no folly of the beasts of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men"
hello and ta'ta baby.
<3 rexx
larger than dinosaurs yet more comparable
to kittens wearing mittens,
rolling about in the sea
"...middle of solitary seas , you find him unbent from the vast corpulence of his dignity, and kitten-like, he plays on the ocean as if it were a hearth."
once they have grown jaded by their kind
drift round and round the world
all alone
for eternity
and feed the leagues of life below in their death
i think of them as i sit alone on my porch
the afternoon is warm, but not hot
my coffee is strong and rests in its mug
upon my legs
balance /ˈbæləns/ [bal-uhns]
noun
1. a state of equilibrium
every so often the wind and its chimes keep me company
the ant on the railing,
the sound of flapping wings,
a shadow
grazing the rooftop across the way..
its bird bursts into the sky as if through a portal in the atmosphere
a product of addiction walks by
smoking a newport
wide as her shriveled arm.
eyes sunken but not dead.
humming along to an invisible tune
"she gored the dark waves in her madness"
hendrix riffs blasting
from a small red car out front..
it is the pot-bellied neighbor driving away.
oh, all the solitary creatures of today
each with a certain verve
knowingly no better than the other
and i wonder if a lone whale in its hundredth year
is thinking of us up here
above water,
all of us that realize life decays,
every morsel of it,
and therefore live it most preciously,
(as a part of the earth, not a slave to false kingship)
knowing
that humanity wears no crown.
music:
neurosis - enemy of the sun
bloody panda -summon
godflesh - street cleaner
coffee.
sunshine.
happiness.
"..for there is no folly of the beasts of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men"
hello and ta'ta baby.
<3 rexx
slayer ruled.
chocolate (s)layer cake with maple and chocolate icing also ruled.
(complete with upside-down cross constructed of cinnamon chips)
a goodwill store recently opened mere blocks from my house. my first purchase:
i am taking four classes in the fall. easy peasies to get back into the groove.
i won't pretend that i know exactly where its going from there...
but i have some idea and feel groovy about the start.
items on my current to-do list of things to research and then put into action:
*planting herbs and possibly some veggies
*starting a compost pile
*making a quilt of leathers. preferably the size of a wall. i want a leather wall.
the senses and things as of late:
reading: moby dick
listening: bohren & der club of gore - black earth
nadja - desire in uneasiness
the secret - solve et coagula
the devil and the sea - heart vs. spine
tasting:
(pulled and baconized!)
seeing: lovely photos of gogo
feeling: that uber suculent exhaustion one feels after a day of water and sun. groovy, isn't it?
tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my set, technicolor, shot by cherry going into member review. another that shall sadly rest in peace. perhaps one day i'll see the front page again?
i've been enjoying walks home from work at night. following old paths, discovering new. cool, breezy, human-less darkness is a much relished glaze over the hot, over-populated days. always noticing and appreciating little things, like how many hundreds of spiders of varying size and activity hang from the railing of one bridge i cross. it is mind blowing to me. (i adore the urban dwellings of animal and insect life) some feed, some spin. some descend or ascend on their mighty strands of silk to simply linger above the calm night water. like i do, neither wanting to be here nor there. at either end of the bridge lie excessive quantities of people, lights, cars, billions of flickering television sets, jobs that make us wonder why we're here. after being tainted by all we must trudge through to reach what we call home, or really any destination of true desire, there is the good stuff. all that we want and need besides these bits of magic woven sporadically into our world. often when the day is done i wonder about all that in-between stuff that fills me with visible disgust. but when i'm sitting in the middle of a river on a bridge with the city on one end and at the other, a mountain full of fancy houses with blinking televisions so big they are visible from a mile away..and yet i am touching neither one, iall clutter of the mind disappears and i begin to think thoughts they way i wish to be able to write or express them to others. spiders by the hundreds, thousands even, living their lives and filling my soul with wonder as they hang so freely over the city, some coupled, most alone between two rungs. they aren't human but i do suppose they have their own troubles to deal with. and what about this mallard floating effortlessly in the waters toward the east, fading into the distance.. i'd like to pick his brain. here i feel able to think unobstructedly and sometimes i linger so long that i start to wonder about my place in this world. my physical place, i mean. where do i need to be? i'm uncertain if it is here, but are all places the same? they seem not so, when i've been a stranger in them. or perhaps i just thrive on that feeling of uncertainty and impermanence. i do need to travel somewhere new, soon. for kicks. and in the not too terribly distant future i'd like to put some distance between myself and city life, not just for a visit. and not necessarily a distance that is extreme (for in the face of a pro-man, pro-technology, sacrifice-environment reality, it is difficult to achieve). all i know is that i can't continue to immerse myself in such a disgusting quantity of bodies day in and day out. but for now, we'll stick it out, the spiders, the mallard, all of the preciously inhuman creatures of the pennsylvanian lands and i. with my most beloved human and a few others that i hold dear, scattered across america and beyond. i cross the bridge at last, pass confidently through any remaining murk, and carry on to where the love and the music and the beer and the books and the hours spent staring out of windows and so much is good. traipse through the rest without a care. simple.
look closer and neglect no glimmer of what makes life grand, for you.
as for the rest,
fuck it.
my tummy is grumbly.
to the kitchen and beyond..
<3 Rexx
chocolate (s)layer cake with maple and chocolate icing also ruled.
(complete with upside-down cross constructed of cinnamon chips)
a goodwill store recently opened mere blocks from my house. my first purchase:
i am taking four classes in the fall. easy peasies to get back into the groove.
i won't pretend that i know exactly where its going from there...
but i have some idea and feel groovy about the start.
items on my current to-do list of things to research and then put into action:
*planting herbs and possibly some veggies
*starting a compost pile
*making a quilt of leathers. preferably the size of a wall. i want a leather wall.
the senses and things as of late:
reading: moby dick
listening: bohren & der club of gore - black earth
nadja - desire in uneasiness
the secret - solve et coagula
the devil and the sea - heart vs. spine
tasting:
(pulled and baconized!) seeing: lovely photos of gogo
feeling: that uber suculent exhaustion one feels after a day of water and sun. groovy, isn't it?
tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my set, technicolor, shot by cherry going into member review. another that shall sadly rest in peace. perhaps one day i'll see the front page again?
i've been enjoying walks home from work at night. following old paths, discovering new. cool, breezy, human-less darkness is a much relished glaze over the hot, over-populated days. always noticing and appreciating little things, like how many hundreds of spiders of varying size and activity hang from the railing of one bridge i cross. it is mind blowing to me. (i adore the urban dwellings of animal and insect life) some feed, some spin. some descend or ascend on their mighty strands of silk to simply linger above the calm night water. like i do, neither wanting to be here nor there. at either end of the bridge lie excessive quantities of people, lights, cars, billions of flickering television sets, jobs that make us wonder why we're here. after being tainted by all we must trudge through to reach what we call home, or really any destination of true desire, there is the good stuff. all that we want and need besides these bits of magic woven sporadically into our world. often when the day is done i wonder about all that in-between stuff that fills me with visible disgust. but when i'm sitting in the middle of a river on a bridge with the city on one end and at the other, a mountain full of fancy houses with blinking televisions so big they are visible from a mile away..and yet i am touching neither one, iall clutter of the mind disappears and i begin to think thoughts they way i wish to be able to write or express them to others. spiders by the hundreds, thousands even, living their lives and filling my soul with wonder as they hang so freely over the city, some coupled, most alone between two rungs. they aren't human but i do suppose they have their own troubles to deal with. and what about this mallard floating effortlessly in the waters toward the east, fading into the distance.. i'd like to pick his brain. here i feel able to think unobstructedly and sometimes i linger so long that i start to wonder about my place in this world. my physical place, i mean. where do i need to be? i'm uncertain if it is here, but are all places the same? they seem not so, when i've been a stranger in them. or perhaps i just thrive on that feeling of uncertainty and impermanence. i do need to travel somewhere new, soon. for kicks. and in the not too terribly distant future i'd like to put some distance between myself and city life, not just for a visit. and not necessarily a distance that is extreme (for in the face of a pro-man, pro-technology, sacrifice-environment reality, it is difficult to achieve). all i know is that i can't continue to immerse myself in such a disgusting quantity of bodies day in and day out. but for now, we'll stick it out, the spiders, the mallard, all of the preciously inhuman creatures of the pennsylvanian lands and i. with my most beloved human and a few others that i hold dear, scattered across america and beyond. i cross the bridge at last, pass confidently through any remaining murk, and carry on to where the love and the music and the beer and the books and the hours spent staring out of windows and so much is good. traipse through the rest without a care. simple.
look closer and neglect no glimmer of what makes life grand, for you.
as for the rest,
fuck it.
my tummy is grumbly.
to the kitchen and beyond..
<3 Rexx
