ok so, after a long absence. i have returned to SG! let me fill you in on my life. i miss you friends :-)

well i don't live in pittsburgh anymore, i moved to richmond, VA and am much happier here so far. definitly don't want to stay here forever but its comfortable for now....its some strangely unexplainable new level of happiness for me. i guess i just needed to chill and slow down the pace for a bit....

although i fucking miss the shit out of the bars in pittsburgh. especially the smilng moose.

its so effing expensive here its crazy! like, where the fuck is the cheap beer at the bar you fucks! and bars without douchebags who have never seen a tattooed girl before? please die.

i got my right half sleeve started!!!! YAYAYAYAY no pics of it in my set but, i will get some soon. its the painting danse macabre by michael wolgemut. <3 gothic art. and dead shit. on my body. fuck yeah. so yeah i always do things impatiently and out of order, so i now have 2 incomplete half sleeves. haha oh well.

well i bought a car. a shitty little 900 dollar cavalier. it is green. and dented. it suits me :-)

i work at nordstrom and it is kind of funny to me. because i pretend to be classy and care about selling high heels.....

then as soon as i'm off that clock its tats, booze, and a delicious camel light. (what? you think because i've been gone and moved to another state that i'm not still an alcoholic? no worries there!)

its ok. i could use more hours but i'm kind of lazy. so...fuck it.

found a sweet ass loft apartment downtown that i can move into in a week, only problem is the roommate is a bit off....

maybe slightly mental? i have no idea. i have a feeling he will annoy me a bit but he is an amazing artist, the apartment is great, i can afford it, and in a way i find his kooky ways amusing and kind of endearing. craiglist founded roommates....the way to go.

i wanted to live with a dude....but not one of my friends. because really i'd rather just live with a stranger. i'm wierd. but oh well. i got him really shit faced the other night to make sure he wasn't some pussy light weight. and he has no friends yet becuase he just moved from maryland. he had fun. it was cute. i am a bad influence....

but! the apartment! is in a renovated old brewery (perfect. alcohol in the bricks) has floor to ceiling windows in the living room and my room. my own bathroom. thank god. exposed brick and piping everywhere. MASSIVE loft space in my room! def turning that into a little love shack :-D

um..yeah. so i guess i'm going to move in with him. i'm going to be broke as fuck. i hate security deposits.

life is good. if you read my previous blog you will see that i have no slept in about 38 hours now....

when do you reach the point of legal insanity?

um...i missed sg. hello again. hope everyone is having a lovely sunday night. i need to get some fucking sleep. wish me luck.

i want this:

hey guess whatie kiddos??? i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!! let me tell you about my night...

RECAP:
....of another crazy night in the life of heather.



it is 9 am on sunday, i have not been to bed.




went to visit potential future roommate at apartment downtown, drank a few, ventured to a cool bar down the road from the future apartment which had a fabulous tales from the crypt pinball machine, where we proceeded to become slightly intoxicated.

while engrossed in convo with the roomie my brother decides to order mass quantities of whiskey and beers (not to my knowledge)

leave to meet up at another bar for my friends birthday where my brother claims he knows how to get to.....

immediatly get pulled over by the cops because i am (sober and retarded) too dumb to put my headlights on thanks to daytime running lights and lack of driving for the past 3 years...

doing a pretty great job of dealing with the popo until the drunk brother (i still don't realize his point of intox) decides to start dropping the f-bomb to the cop asking why the fuck he is pulling over his little sister....

after about 10 minutes of shutting him the fuck up and convincing mr officer that i, sweet and innocent looking little heather stubbs, have not had a sip to drink that night, he lets us go...


about 20 minutes of me driving later...my brother admits that he is blackout drunk and really has no idea how to get to the bar we are aiming for.



we are the greatest family ever known.



luckily we are right next to chacha's where jay is. yay!..so we get out.....fucking mile long line to get in and almost last call....

jaywoodz saves the day! he is jesus! we get in pronto! i am finally able to get drunk! yes!

.......no.



proceed to the bar. order 4 beers. success..

beers empty ( 5 minutes later, yeah, i was thirsty) my brother claims to be grabbing the next round...


..we wait..
and wait...and wait some more...

he is gone.



i go to get the real next round because i am an alcoholic and cannot wait or fathom the fact that intoxication may not occur for me if i don't immediatly order way too many beers than i need.



3 beers in hand. turn around. MY BOSS is standing there, shocked to see me in a state of tweeked out obliteration.



drunk bumps into me.



I SPILL THREE BEERS ON MY BOSS AND ALL OF HER FRIENDS.



speechless and definitly not drunk to deal with this scenario, i flee the scene without even an apology, enter the patio with the remaining alcohol, to the striking view of my brothers feet flying over the patio courtesy of 2 or 3 bouncers............

what the fuck? i try to call after him but he is too fast and bleeding profusely from the foot. i am panicking. but my brother is a smart human being, and the situation is slightly hilarious. so,



i drink more.


last call.


i am calling my brother over and over. sam is calling my brother. bar empties. return to car. i continue to call brother while sam searches by foot all surrounding alleys for my brother. 45 minutes later sam returns. no brother. my phone is almost dead.



i drop sam off.



i am still not drunk to a point of satisfaction and driving on the interstate calling and texting everyone in my phone because i am so wired that i can't fathom going to bed. it is 3 am. no hope. i get to my parents house. change. get in bed....

alas, A TEXT!

I drive 30 minutes to midlothian where i hang with marco, watch the sun rise, i must be fucked up at this point, when alas, ANOTHER TEXT! THE MISSING BROTHER!

i must rescue.



it is not quite 6:30 a.m........my phone dies. i have my charger. just drive.



drive 30 minutes to downtown richmond, park at gas station to charge phone.

i am a dumbass (left the charger at my parents) fuck it! i am god! i can find invisible bleeding drunken man!

30 minutes later, rounding the bend.....bleeding boy in red polo waving hands, I HAVE FOUND HIM!

i have no idea how this happened......

it is now 7:30. we stumble into waffle house. i, a haggard mess, he, missing flip flop and bleeding beyond profusley at this point with no idea what has happened to him...

we explain we are related...waffle house loves us. we are heroes. we feast on waffles.



i am still awake, it is now 9:11 a.m....i work at one...i must not sleep...i am completely insane....

....i have no idea how i will face my boss 4 hours.



....thanks for listening.


(i actually wrote this at 9:11 am..it is now 10:37 p.m....i have yet to go to sleep.....)

its good to be back :-)

so, i have been 21 for a week. and my bank account is already draining. i knew this would be bad.

for the past 6 years i've already drank more than most of age people consume in their lifetime, and i can only see it continuing to get worse.

if it weren't for my addiction to deliciously hoppy 7 dollar drafts (and the fact that i work in a bar with 42 of them, readily available for me after a long stupid shift of burger and beer service)...it might be ok....

for the love of christ i drink bloody marys for breakfast!

so, maybe i have a drinking problem.

oh well. it works for now. and i'm sick of hearing about it.


drink specials don't matter to me because i despise crappy beer and i generally try to stay away from mixed drinks other than bloody marys and gin/tonic because they disgust me. same goes for mixed shots. if it isn't whiskey..tell it to fuck off.

i guess this wouldn't really matter if i wasn't moving in a month (that security deposit and rent combo will be killer) and buying a car i guess it would be alright....so maybe i'll just use all the self control that i have to cut down on my alcohol consumption for the next month, and then pick up a second job once i'm in richmond to support my habits. :-)

got some new ink started on my right arm the other day. my birthday present to myself. maybe i should finish the left one first, but oh well. i get antsy.

my first attempt at a relationship in the past 2 years failed. of course. because apparenlty i'm too much of a wild child for anyone to handle. and if you can't handle my lifestyle you can pretty much fuck off anyways. plus i decided that 2 years really wasn't enough time and i still don't want to settle down. shit, i just turned 21.

i don't understand why everyone graduates from high school and feels the need to graduate, secure a "real" job, and find the love of their life as fast as humanly possible.

slow the fuck down and stop taking life too seriously!

i'm happier than 90 percent of people i know and have experienced so much more, and this is what i do for a living, currently:


okkkkk hope everyones good , i haven't updated in forever. kbye.

FUCKING BRAIN DRILL IS TONIGHT! ohhhh man. one of their first shows ever. i'm so pumped and ready for absolute brutality to break loose.

its sunday and my room is filled with sunshine.
i'm drinking cheap wine in mass quantities, by myself.
reading some more of the great shark hunt.
and listening to beck and old school modest mouse.

this day would be so perfect if i didn't work in a few hours....perhaps i should slow down the drinking, in that case....or, maybe not. :-)


Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Looking kind of anxious in your cross armed stance
Like a bad tempered prom queen at a homecoming dance
And I claim I'm not excited with my life any more
So I blame this town, this job, these friends
The truth is it's myself
And I'm trying to understand myself
and pinpoint where i am
When I finally get it figured out
I've change the whole damn plan
Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon
I've changed my mind so much I cant even trust it
My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself
-modest mouse


>>> hi from the bed (err...mattress on the floor) that i refuse to leave until 4 p.m. hehe

well, i just got back to pittsburgh. surprisingly it wasn't freezing or snowing, much to my delight, because my phone is dead. my charger is in virginia. i had no means of contacting anyone because who the fuck memorizes phone numbers in this day and age. and if i had to come back to this god foresaken town and immediatly be forced to trudge home from the greyhound station while cursing the wind chill and frozen precipitation....well lets just say it wouldn 't have been pretty. i may even have made such an irrational decision as to not even leave the station, but buy a bus ticket to somewhere warm, sunny, and west and peace out of p-town once and for all.



actually, in all honesty, the thought crossed my mind. several times. and when you are sitting on a bus for ten hours straight, watching the road and the miles fly by, with entirely too much time to think and contemplate everything in your life, you have to wonder...what if i just did it? for under $99 you can get your happy ass anywhere you want to go in the united states of america my friend. (or so claimed the envelope holding my bus ticket). granted it might take you over a million years. not to mention global warming or the plague may take your life before you reach a suitable destination, considering greyhound is THE slowest form of transporting yourself around this country.



i actually don't mind, however. because i like long car rides. i love people watching. i love random conversation with people i know i will never see again in my life. i love the fact that maybe i will see them again, and how crazy that would be. i love that noone can contact me for that amount of time. i love crappy gas station food. i love the combination of sitting on my ass, reading, and listening to music. i love coming up with hilarious and/or disgustingly inappropriate things that D.O.T. could stand for other than department of transportation in the sign that says NO SMOKING ON THIS BUS BY ORDER OF THE D.O.T!

(demolishing orphuses [of] toddlers. droopy ostrich tits. deranged [by] oral [from] trannies. dingy old toenails. detractable orange testicles....well, this activity was more so implemented on the ride to virgina last thursday. i had a nice collection going. but i'm tired. and i don't remember. but err, you get the idea...)



but yeah. the ten hours of traversing the highway alone with your thoughts. headed to a place you really have no desire to return to (and you KNOW this is so, when you are going somewhere 5 hours away...yet are cursing the fact that the 10 hours its taking is way too soon to be back there...) your phone is inoperable. you've consumed so much coffee that your vision is blurring and you feel as though you just blew a fat line off of that piss-ridden bus station toilet that you couldn't bring yourself to use. and you are slightly outraged at the fact that you just paid 2 dollars for a bag of cheetos from a vending machine....you aren't exactly thinking rationally. especially when you've been reading anything by hunter s. thompson.



which, by the way..i'm reading the great shark hunt right now. obviously, its hst, and its awesome. but i just can't get into the second section on nixon. i tried for over an hour to get through like 20 pages but my brain was not having it. i hate not reading things in their entirety. but politics seriously do not interest me at all. i sometimes wonder if i will ever even register to vote. oh well. i don't care.



anyways..back to what i was saying. obviously, i came back. but if i had had either 1. a traveling buddy. or 2. a few drinks in me ..... my ass might still be on a greyhound bus. at least to ride around for a few more days and avoid the inevitable return to "the daily grind". ::cheesy horror film music plays::.

well shit, now that i rambled about that nonsense for a fucking year...





i came into contact with some pretty funny characters on the bus this weekend. on the way up, i was paired with a female forest ranger complete with cowboy hat. a friendly pediatrition who gave me a cig break buddy until we hit washington. a jamaican and his crying baby. and that was it. on the entire bus. reading thompson, i couldn't help but think of what kind of hilariously fucked up drawings ralph steadman could come up with on a greyhound trip. arriving in richmond an elderly man decided to start a conversation by telling me his dad just died which caused him to acquire 350,000 dollars, in addition to the 51,000 he just got from selling his classic harley on ebay, and that he had just quit his job that morning and was going wherever the wind blew. (ok, so i don't know if this is true...but if so....that's one lucky dude, besides the dad part.) then there are always the ranters, who scream bloody murder about the incompetency, filth, lack of reliability, and of course, the slowness, of everything having to do with greyhound. i want to strangle all of these people with their luggage tags. seriously, what the fuck do you expect? its greyhound. it will never change. and its fucking cheap. leave the poor employees alone. and my ears as well. thanks. my favorite on the return trip was the bling-tastic homeboy sitting next to me. i have never in my life seen such a wide array of rings, bracelets, watches, necklaces, and earrings adorning the bodyparts of one person. and i have also never seen someone, for TEN HOURS STRAIGHT, raising the roof, nodding their head, and continuiously making various facial expressions (which i suppose were related to whatever thug-tastic tunage was occuring in those 'diamond' studded headphones...) he never stopped, trust me. he was in my peripheral vision the entire time . crazy.



so yeah, a great weekend was sandwiched with some interesting travels as well. i always think back to the people i met who had been on the bus for something crazy like 5 days and how fucking happy they must be right now to be showered, sleeping in a bed, eating food that isn't sketchy, sitting on a toilet without fear of what sort of gona-sypha-herp-aides is lurking there. godspeed random road friends.

the bus went the exact same route that lessard-tard and i took when we moved to virginia beach. i couldn't help but laugh out loud (literally. really loud. by myself. i was that guy) thinking about how for the rest of life i will remember october 15th, 2006...hungover as hell. attempting to purchase alcohol between stops. apparently bus stops and their surrounding gas stations don't believe in the sale of beer or liquor. which results in desperatly scraping the resin out of my bowl in an attempt to get high on the 15 minute layover in baltimore. then snorting stackers off of a beat up copy of kerouac's on the road... just to see what sort of reaction the sound could get from the dark, silent bus. in a forced state of sobriety, we had to amuse ourselves. (i'm sure no one suspected the kid with the gauged ears and the girl in the jack daniels sweatshirt spouting off vulgarities, laughing insanely at random, and smoking way too many cigarettes). then there was john-loo. the silly asian bus driver who couldn't speak english and didn't know what state he was going to, but never wiped his ridiculously large grin off of his face. (a few days later, i named a motel room plant after him. so you know he was special). anyways making all those same stops made me remember that rather hilarious day in 06.



i go back to work tomorrow night. thats ok i guess. i have like, no hours for some reason. but whatever. after this week i better be back to 6 days a week. because i'm turning 21 very soon. and we all know what that is going to mean for my bank account.... :-D



man, i am fucking tired. i don't even think this entire blog of my rambling even had a point anywhere. i just felt like writing one.



i can't wait to get a phone charger tomorrow. i feel naked without it. even though i really don't use the phone for anything but my excessive text messaging habits. i just remembered that i get paid tomorrow, too. that is always fun at the end of the month when the entire thing goes straight to rent and bills. yay! :-)



there is a fucking fly buzzing around in my room. i have never seen a fly in this house, and now there is one. in my room of all places. and its a huge one at that. this must be a bad omen. "hey heather, this is pittsburgh writing. i just wanted to welcome you back with this god damned fucking mutant fly".

it is going around in a circle over and over and barely missing my head every time. what a jerk.



i'm going to stop typing now and catch up on some much needed sleep. i will probably read this tomorrow and wonder what the hell i thought i was accomplishing by writing this blog. i hope someone finds some sort of amusement out of tonight's babbling :-)

so i scurried off to virginia for a few days, which explains my recent mia-ness. but, now i am back! horray!

so, i live with 5 girls.

i really don't get along with the majority of girls out there in the normal world. well, i get along with everyone. i just don't really enjoy their company i suppose. if i lived with bad ass chicas like all the lovely ladies of SG, it might be different.

but i don't.

i'm sick of the bitching, the whining, the constant needing to "hang out" and "talk". about stupid meaningless shit that i don't give a flying fuck about. i don't care about your boyfriend who you clearly have the worst relationship every with and has broken up 29 times with you or pissed you off because you found an earring in his bed....again. i don't care that you think you are fat and feel bad about the cookies that you ate earlier. i care about alot of things, really, i do. but i need some fucking intelligent conversation.

i feel like i am constantly having stupid bullshit talk with the people i live with. half the time its just fucking awkward and i'd like to avoid it at all costs. also, sometimes, I JUST DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE. i'm not a loner. but i work every day, and sometimes i get sick of being around 10ur938409 people and i just want to chill out. i'm a very independent person. on my day off half the time i'd rather wander downtown listening to music, grab coffee, shop, or do whatever on my own.

a strange realization i came to, since i moved here in may. or mainly just since the fall....i really havn't been hanging out with anyone. i'm at work until 6 every day, and i work with my friends, so i guess i feel like i hang out there. haha other than that i see my roommates, the guys down the street, and other than that..yeah. its wierd. it doesn't even bother me. haha i guess i needed a break from people for awhile. i've gotten sick of the coming and going of friends so i've been sticking to those close by whose company i enjoy and trust. and i havn't minded. i used to fill my life with so many different people and plans, but i realize now.....it was just a fill in. there are a few VERY VERY close friends who i've grown apart from and it makes me incredibly sad, because we lived together and shared an amazing part of our lives....but i guess that happens. and maybe one day we'll come to a point in our lives where we can share that again.

stuff is wierd. but its ok. and there was a time when i wasn't ok with it. and i'm glad that i am.

wow..i am vague sometimes. haha

anyways, back to what i was saying. being alone and having privacy, EVER is impossible. because two girls that live upstairs have to walk through my room to get to their rooms. i fucking hate it.

i knew coming into this situation last may that i would hate it because i knew i'd have no privacy and the fact that i don't like living with girls. i've always lived with guys, or a combination of guys and girls, and that is how i'd like it to be. ugh. all of this estrogen is kicking my ass....its not that bad now i guess. i just got really annoyed because my room was entered and exited 6 times in the past 7 minutes. so i decided to vent since i was already logged on to sg. on the other hand, i took this room because i knew noone else would and i'm just a peacemaker like that. plus, i'm probably the most open person in this household and i don't get offended or embarrassed at all if i'm just laying around in my underwear (which is...always) or doin my thang and someone walks in. this is the only part that amuses me about this strangely placed little bedroom. :-)

when i move to richmond i am definitly getting a place of my own and i can't waaaaaaaaaaaait. i've never had my own place but i feel that for this next year or so of my life that i live there its the best way to go. foooo'sho. its going to be a sexy, hippie, macabre style little shindig that will smell constantly of nag champa and coffee. and i can't wait :-D



errr...also. about the moving thing. i'm going to be needing to purchase a car here soon. problem is, when i went through my whole little wild and crazy 2 month move to virginia beach, i got arrested. and i never went to court. therefore i have three misdemeanors on my record that aren't taken care of, granted...its for stupid shit. but i'm sure the judge doesn't care about that. haha my question, will i still be able to register a car that i buy at the dmv with this on my record??

i need answers!

anywho i'm in a pretty fabulous and relaxed mood right now. i'm in one of my random "making an effort to cut down on my terrible drinking problem" phases. so this is my 3rd sober night/day in a row. the most i've made it in almost 2 months. i feel good. i've just been hanging at home, reading a grateful dead book, finding new music, getting enough sleep for once. its been kinda nice.

i'm doing another shoot with lightfall photo tomorrow. i got a fabulous new pair of fetish boots i havn't gotten to wear yet. so i'm bringing those along. definitly excited to see how these turn out!


um....i think i'm going to go make pancakes now or something, because i am le'hungry.

hope you are having a good day loves!

hi kiddos.

i havn't blogged in like a week. sooooooooo....updates!

well, nothing is really new at all, actually. sorry.
i'm going home at the end of the week for a few days, always makes me happy. get to see this boy that i am rather fond of. a very new and different thing for me, being the queen of single and crazy. i think i like it, but...i'm just hoping i don't mess things up. because i usually let me emotions frighten me away from the good fellas in life. we'll see what happens. hopefully things just continue to get better. :-D

it was semi warm today which i appreciated even though it rained all day. but at least this damn snow is melting away for now. i'm tired of ice skating my way around town to get to work every day.

i woke up after a very drunken night on a couch the other day and then stepped outside, still significantly intoxicated, and of course slip and bust my ass in the first 3 seconds of being outdoors. noone was around. but it was pretty amusing.

blahblahblah. ok so this point of this blog is to prove that my life is entirely too boring at the moment.

i need spice. i need insanity. i need a drink. i need CHANGE. right meow.

oh my god. i broke my ipod..

this is a SEVERE tragedy in my life.

someone help me! computer nerds! electronic wizards! moral support?!?!?!?!

I FUCKING NEED YOUUUUUUUUUUU.