PICS
so this one time i got shit-faced and slammed my car into a tree...
....and ever since then nothing has really made much sense at all. why am i living here? what in the living fuck am i doing? what the hell happened to everything that was supposed happen this summer? and this past year? and the past three years?
three years is a long time. i've been alot of places. and done alot of things.
and where am i? sitting in my childhood room in chester fucking virginia.
this initially had promise and i still think it might. but i don't think this is what i'm looking for. actually, i don't know what i'm looking for. and for the first time in my life, i'm really not ok with that.
part of me wants to do something irrational like move to another state just to avoid the financial turmoil and time consuming bull-shit that is going to continue to fuck up my existence from this dui. part of me wishes i would wake up and still have a decent car, money in the bank, and a beer in my hand. part of me is convinced that the reason for all of this might pop up sometime before i die. part of me feels completely empty and in question of whether or not there is any reason for me to stay in this town. part of me is still wondering why i came back here. part of me is wondering why it feels like everyone went disappearing. all of me wants to figure any of this out. all of me also wants to have a stimulating conversation with....anyone. part of me hopes i'm still capable of such conversation because genuine human interaction has been scarce these days.
this summer has been pretty lame. i've seen the ocean once. i have camped none. i have been nowhere. i made one road trip so far, and it was by myself. and that was probably one of the best times i've had all summer. i've realized that there are some people i considered good friends that vanished into thin air when i couldn't drink anymore, and that was really disappointing. i've only been to 2 shows. i havn't really tried anything new. i hated my job entirely too often. i totalled my car. i got a dui. my identity got stolen. i definitly havn't lived enough. laughed enough. or gotten enough out of....anything.
by the way. for those who don't know...i have been sober for three and a half weeks now. this is the longest in the history of me drinking (circa 2003) that i havn't indulged in a tasty alcoholic beverage or twenty. i'm not sure what i think about it...
i'm also still living at my parents house because chesterfield virginia is the worst place you could possibly get a dui in the united states. but in the back of my head...i'm wondering if maybe its a good thing i didn't move out....because maybe i'm not going to be here for all that long after all. maybe. everything is maybe these days.
"i had nothing to offer anyone except my own confusion"
i have basically concluded that whoever said "you are better lost than found" is completely right. (roger clements? maybe?) because trying to find my foundness did nothing but drain me. i think i made the mistake of listening to too many people along the way. and not the right people for me, personally, to be listening to. i don't feel like there is anyone in this town or its general vicinity that i can truly relate to and be completely open with anymore. i'm not sure where everyone went...or....maybe i went somewhere....
sigh.
i signed up for classes this fall. i don't know if i really want to do that or not...it was kind of an irrational decision brought on by excessive sobriety. the admissions counselor asked me why i had dead people on my arm and if it had anything to do with my educational program of choice. i told her i didn't really want to do funeral services i just wanted to dress up the bodies and put makeup on them. she wasn't very helpful.
i am going to pittsburgh this weekend. or early next week. i have a secure feeling that it will provide some mental clarity. i could use a long drive by myself with good jams and a pack of smokes. it will be a little escape from reality i guess, although for some reason nothing happening here really seems like reality to me. so maybe i'm escaping "reality" for a dose of reality. yeah....that's what i'm doing. i could really give a fuck less if i have to quit my job for this. i refuse to let this entire summer become a lame ass, adventure-less, risk-free waste.
sorry, that's not my style.
and corporation is definitly not my style.
and i'm not going to cramp my style for corporation. because when that happens....heather stubbs has died and you should exorcise the demon of societal normalcy from my body, kill me, finish sleeving out my dead arms, then cremate me yourselves while making smores from the flames and scatter my ashes somewhere on the west coast because i still have yet to go there after several years of failing to do so.
anyways, we'll see if my car makes it to pittsburgh. its almost as old as i am.
i feel like i used to be good at this writing thing, but now not so much. my head is full of jumbled thoughts but they are mostly confused thoughts. i just had to try and sort through it all. i feel that this was quite a meager and unsuccessful attempt. but i feel better. this is theraputic for me when i have noone to talk to, sorry you had to endure the babblings.
i have lots of fun things to do tomorrow like shop for lawyers, visit my friends at the dmv, try and find a job thats more heathery. my bank account is still frozen thanks to the fuck face who stole my identity, but i got 5 dollars today for opening an account. so maybe i'll do something cool. like buy an ice cream cone.
a song i honestly havn't heard once in a couple of years came on the ipod today. it brought back the bitter burn of cheap vodka and conversations shared on smoky balconies late at night.
i hear songs like that alot, and it makes me miss the past. then there's this void from the past year and a half where there are no songs that bring back memories like that. i want my life to be at the point again where 2 years from now i'll be sitting on a plane and a song comes on and i'm like damn, that was a good time in 2008, i'll never forget it. if there isn't a soundtrack to a period of your life, you've skipped a beat.
i've skipped a few beats.
i've grown up alot since those times, and can't really relate to alot of people my age now. which has been different, being here in virginia. i love thinking about the songs that reminded me of when i did nothing but be this completely insane party girl. and hell yeah i miss that. i'm fucking twenty one. but its not for me 24/7 anymore and i realize that. but what i'm after is that same sort of intensity, directed in other ways. i want to live a life that i can remember and not have these forgotten years when i was lame as shit in the prime of my youth just standing still. doing the same shit. knowing i'm not happy. and continuing to do the same shit. fuck this.
i really need to burn some nag champa. and smoke a cigarette.
....and ever since then nothing has really made much sense at all. why am i living here? what in the living fuck am i doing? what the hell happened to everything that was supposed happen this summer? and this past year? and the past three years?
three years is a long time. i've been alot of places. and done alot of things.
and where am i? sitting in my childhood room in chester fucking virginia.
this initially had promise and i still think it might. but i don't think this is what i'm looking for. actually, i don't know what i'm looking for. and for the first time in my life, i'm really not ok with that.
part of me wants to do something irrational like move to another state just to avoid the financial turmoil and time consuming bull-shit that is going to continue to fuck up my existence from this dui. part of me wishes i would wake up and still have a decent car, money in the bank, and a beer in my hand. part of me is convinced that the reason for all of this might pop up sometime before i die. part of me feels completely empty and in question of whether or not there is any reason for me to stay in this town. part of me is still wondering why i came back here. part of me is wondering why it feels like everyone went disappearing. all of me wants to figure any of this out. all of me also wants to have a stimulating conversation with....anyone. part of me hopes i'm still capable of such conversation because genuine human interaction has been scarce these days.
this summer has been pretty lame. i've seen the ocean once. i have camped none. i have been nowhere. i made one road trip so far, and it was by myself. and that was probably one of the best times i've had all summer. i've realized that there are some people i considered good friends that vanished into thin air when i couldn't drink anymore, and that was really disappointing. i've only been to 2 shows. i havn't really tried anything new. i hated my job entirely too often. i totalled my car. i got a dui. my identity got stolen. i definitly havn't lived enough. laughed enough. or gotten enough out of....anything.
by the way. for those who don't know...i have been sober for three and a half weeks now. this is the longest in the history of me drinking (circa 2003) that i havn't indulged in a tasty alcoholic beverage or twenty. i'm not sure what i think about it...
i'm also still living at my parents house because chesterfield virginia is the worst place you could possibly get a dui in the united states. but in the back of my head...i'm wondering if maybe its a good thing i didn't move out....because maybe i'm not going to be here for all that long after all. maybe. everything is maybe these days.
"i had nothing to offer anyone except my own confusion"
i have basically concluded that whoever said "you are better lost than found" is completely right. (roger clements? maybe?) because trying to find my foundness did nothing but drain me. i think i made the mistake of listening to too many people along the way. and not the right people for me, personally, to be listening to. i don't feel like there is anyone in this town or its general vicinity that i can truly relate to and be completely open with anymore. i'm not sure where everyone went...or....maybe i went somewhere....
sigh.
i signed up for classes this fall. i don't know if i really want to do that or not...it was kind of an irrational decision brought on by excessive sobriety. the admissions counselor asked me why i had dead people on my arm and if it had anything to do with my educational program of choice. i told her i didn't really want to do funeral services i just wanted to dress up the bodies and put makeup on them. she wasn't very helpful.
i am going to pittsburgh this weekend. or early next week. i have a secure feeling that it will provide some mental clarity. i could use a long drive by myself with good jams and a pack of smokes. it will be a little escape from reality i guess, although for some reason nothing happening here really seems like reality to me. so maybe i'm escaping "reality" for a dose of reality. yeah....that's what i'm doing. i could really give a fuck less if i have to quit my job for this. i refuse to let this entire summer become a lame ass, adventure-less, risk-free waste.
sorry, that's not my style.
and corporation is definitly not my style.
and i'm not going to cramp my style for corporation. because when that happens....heather stubbs has died and you should exorcise the demon of societal normalcy from my body, kill me, finish sleeving out my dead arms, then cremate me yourselves while making smores from the flames and scatter my ashes somewhere on the west coast because i still have yet to go there after several years of failing to do so.
anyways, we'll see if my car makes it to pittsburgh. its almost as old as i am.
i feel like i used to be good at this writing thing, but now not so much. my head is full of jumbled thoughts but they are mostly confused thoughts. i just had to try and sort through it all. i feel that this was quite a meager and unsuccessful attempt. but i feel better. this is theraputic for me when i have noone to talk to, sorry you had to endure the babblings.
i have lots of fun things to do tomorrow like shop for lawyers, visit my friends at the dmv, try and find a job thats more heathery. my bank account is still frozen thanks to the fuck face who stole my identity, but i got 5 dollars today for opening an account. so maybe i'll do something cool. like buy an ice cream cone.
a song i honestly havn't heard once in a couple of years came on the ipod today. it brought back the bitter burn of cheap vodka and conversations shared on smoky balconies late at night.
i hear songs like that alot, and it makes me miss the past. then there's this void from the past year and a half where there are no songs that bring back memories like that. i want my life to be at the point again where 2 years from now i'll be sitting on a plane and a song comes on and i'm like damn, that was a good time in 2008, i'll never forget it. if there isn't a soundtrack to a period of your life, you've skipped a beat.
i've skipped a few beats.
i've grown up alot since those times, and can't really relate to alot of people my age now. which has been different, being here in virginia. i love thinking about the songs that reminded me of when i did nothing but be this completely insane party girl. and hell yeah i miss that. i'm fucking twenty one. but its not for me 24/7 anymore and i realize that. but what i'm after is that same sort of intensity, directed in other ways. i want to live a life that i can remember and not have these forgotten years when i was lame as shit in the prime of my youth just standing still. doing the same shit. knowing i'm not happy. and continuing to do the same shit. fuck this.
i really need to burn some nag champa. and smoke a cigarette.
someone stole my identity! fuck! this is really obnoxious. haha
i finally managed to get them out of my email account and froze my bank account, so now they are emailling me from fake addresses threatening to "expose my picture and SSN" if i don't give them my personal information so they can have my [lack of] money......
my life is ridiculous.
i'm feeling like a roadtrip sometime soon. and a new job.
big things. big things.
mother of shit i need alcohol in my life. i've been sober for THREE WEEKS.
ok...i'm lying. i drank 2 beers the other day. i couldn't take it anymore. but that doesn't even really count right?
so how is everyone? good i hope.
i need some new tunes. preferably metal. suggest brutality for me to jam to.
god damnit. all those times that little box popped up asking if i wanted to renew my norton anti-virus, i should have done it. then this sick fuck wouldn't be trying to screw with me. i mean they could have picked someone who actually has money....hahaha
i finally managed to get them out of my email account and froze my bank account, so now they are emailling me from fake addresses threatening to "expose my picture and SSN" if i don't give them my personal information so they can have my [lack of] money......
my life is ridiculous.
i'm feeling like a roadtrip sometime soon. and a new job.
big things. big things.
mother of shit i need alcohol in my life. i've been sober for THREE WEEKS.
ok...i'm lying. i drank 2 beers the other day. i couldn't take it anymore. but that doesn't even really count right?
so how is everyone? good i hope.
i need some new tunes. preferably metal. suggest brutality for me to jam to.
god damnit. all those times that little box popped up asking if i wanted to renew my norton anti-virus, i should have done it. then this sick fuck wouldn't be trying to screw with me. i mean they could have picked someone who actually has money....hahaha
sooo life is good, once again. it will be even better when i get my ID back, which should be here by now...not really sure what the deal is with that. but it would be nice if i could at least purchase my own cigarettes.
went to warped tour yesterday for the first time, i was skeptical of it being full of 16 year old teeny boppers and their shitty pop punk bands but it was actually pretty decent. normajean played memphis as their last song and it was epic. dillinger was only on tour for a week and i got to catch their last show, always amazing. i was DEF in need of diving into a few good mosh pits. feelin rough today, but its that good rough. like had crazy sex all night rough. or got my ass trampled in the pit at a sick metal show rough. haha
bought a car to replace mr. totaled cavalier today. sigh....1989 toyota camry folks. i never thought i would EVER drive a vehicle that is almost as old as i am but hey...i argued the guy down to 500 bucks and my totalled car and he's installing my cd player for me.....HA, not bad. runs like a champ. good gas mileage. and toyotas last for decades.
i'm sorry....but wear a short skirt to check out a car and you've got yourself a deal baby. men are so weak when it comes to the ladies . you guys know its true. :-)
so...yeah...at least its black...it'll match all my clothes....hahaha i'm bringin piece of shit cars back...no lie.
but yeah just wanted to let you guys knoooowwwww that i'm in higher spirits now. randomly decided to take some classes in the fall. i want to study mortuary science and play with the dead so...i'm doing that. hopefully in a year and a half i'll be licensed to embalm and then i'll probably just never use the degree.....
but school = loans and discounts and "well, i'm in college" is always a good excuse for well..practically anything. plus...it might look good in court? eh...yeah. we'll see how it goes. i havn't been in college for over 2 years now.
hope everyone is doing well.
went to warped tour yesterday for the first time, i was skeptical of it being full of 16 year old teeny boppers and their shitty pop punk bands but it was actually pretty decent. normajean played memphis as their last song and it was epic. dillinger was only on tour for a week and i got to catch their last show, always amazing. i was DEF in need of diving into a few good mosh pits. feelin rough today, but its that good rough. like had crazy sex all night rough. or got my ass trampled in the pit at a sick metal show rough. haha
bought a car to replace mr. totaled cavalier today. sigh....1989 toyota camry folks. i never thought i would EVER drive a vehicle that is almost as old as i am but hey...i argued the guy down to 500 bucks and my totalled car and he's installing my cd player for me.....HA, not bad. runs like a champ. good gas mileage. and toyotas last for decades.
i'm sorry....but wear a short skirt to check out a car and you've got yourself a deal baby. men are so weak when it comes to the ladies . you guys know its true. :-)
so...yeah...at least its black...it'll match all my clothes....hahaha i'm bringin piece of shit cars back...no lie.
but yeah just wanted to let you guys knoooowwwww that i'm in higher spirits now. randomly decided to take some classes in the fall. i want to study mortuary science and play with the dead so...i'm doing that. hopefully in a year and a half i'll be licensed to embalm and then i'll probably just never use the degree.....
but school = loans and discounts and "well, i'm in college" is always a good excuse for well..practically anything. plus...it might look good in court? eh...yeah. we'll see how it goes. i havn't been in college for over 2 years now.
hope everyone is doing well.
ladies aaaaand gentlemen.....
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
ok so i had pretrial this morning and saw my probation officer.
EVERY DAY FROM NOW UNTIL AUGUST 26TH (AKA, THE ENTIRE SUMMER) I AM TO WAKE UP BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 6 AND 8 AM....MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY AND SUNDAY. AND CALL TO SEE IF I AM BEING RANDOMLY TESTED FOR ALCOHOL AND DRUGS THAT DAY. TEHREFORE I, HEATHER, THE BIGGEST ALCOHOLIC OF EVERYONE I KNOW, MUST BE SOBER EVERY FUCKING DAY AND NIGHT UNTIL MY COURT DATE.
is this possible?
what am i going to do?
seriously..............................i am speechless.
this week has been bad enough considering i havn't gone more than 3 days without drinking heavily since oh, 2004???????????????????????
and noone i know does anything but drink. i really don't even know if i'm capable of being around it and not taking a sip. and i can't even do that, because once i've had one i know i won't stop.
this is ludacris.
i mean i guess its an opportunity for me to better myself and find new friends and hobbies and explore life a bit....but i also can't even leave the state or general area in case my color is called the next morning.
everything happens for a reason.....i'm just waiting for this one.
so if anyone wants to take me out for applejuice or something, holla atcha girl rex!
shitfuckcuntbitchmotherfucker. omggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry, i had to get that out of my system :-)
p.s. tegan coddington is freaking amazing. if you havn't seen her deviant art you should check it out, i want to get some of her work tattooed on my dead people arm haha. i think i'll start putting the 150ish bucks i was spending on alcohol every week into a tattoo fund? expect full sleeves by the fall :-D
well, hope everyone has a lovely weekend. i must now find new forms of debauchery other than the drink and the drug to feed my wild side.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
ok so i had pretrial this morning and saw my probation officer.
EVERY DAY FROM NOW UNTIL AUGUST 26TH (AKA, THE ENTIRE SUMMER) I AM TO WAKE UP BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 6 AND 8 AM....MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY AND SUNDAY. AND CALL TO SEE IF I AM BEING RANDOMLY TESTED FOR ALCOHOL AND DRUGS THAT DAY. TEHREFORE I, HEATHER, THE BIGGEST ALCOHOLIC OF EVERYONE I KNOW, MUST BE SOBER EVERY FUCKING DAY AND NIGHT UNTIL MY COURT DATE.
is this possible?
what am i going to do?
seriously..............................i am speechless.
this week has been bad enough considering i havn't gone more than 3 days without drinking heavily since oh, 2004???????????????????????
and noone i know does anything but drink. i really don't even know if i'm capable of being around it and not taking a sip. and i can't even do that, because once i've had one i know i won't stop.
this is ludacris.
i mean i guess its an opportunity for me to better myself and find new friends and hobbies and explore life a bit....but i also can't even leave the state or general area in case my color is called the next morning.
everything happens for a reason.....i'm just waiting for this one.
so if anyone wants to take me out for applejuice or something, holla atcha girl rex!
shitfuckcuntbitchmotherfucker. omggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry, i had to get that out of my system :-)
p.s. tegan coddington is freaking amazing. if you havn't seen her deviant art you should check it out, i want to get some of her work tattooed on my dead people arm haha. i think i'll start putting the 150ish bucks i was spending on alcohol every week into a tattoo fund? expect full sleeves by the fall :-D
well, hope everyone has a lovely weekend. i must now find new forms of debauchery other than the drink and the drug to feed my wild side.
so the moment everyone in my life has been waiting to say i told you so has finally arrived. i consider this rock bottom. especially because everything was going so so so well in richmond so far.....
until i decided to get my car last night and drive home after drinking. by some miracle after i lost control of my car i ended up missing the telephone pole that would have killed me by about an inch. the way my car was headed the police said they have no idea how by the laws of physics or just common sense that the car missed the pole because of the way the skid marks were placed....and although my memory is vague my last clear vision was of that fucking pole coming right after me. and for the first time in my life i sat there, completely calm, and basically accepted the fact that i was going to die....and then the pole was gone, the airbags deployed, and the guy across the street was already there helping me out of my totalled car.
unfortunatly for me he had already called 911 to report an accident. i was far from sober. completely failing the field sobriety test and blowing a .17. i'm thankful he was there to help because my phone landed in the wet grass and died immediatly....but why why WHY did he have to call the cops.
jail was ok. there was some incredibly hot boy with dreads sitting next to me. and your usual hilarity of the drunk tank at 2 a.m. i ended up with a blanket somehow which never happens, so i actually slept some. they had hash browns and scrambled eggs for breakfast? and then i ended up getting a cool cell mate who proceeded to make me die of laughter making fun of everything going on outside of our little window and counting how many cookies the guard could shove in his mouth before the creepy ass mexicans in cell 102 popped up in the window again....
cops are the laziest mother fucking pieces of shit.
my anger management issues kind of sucked because i ended up mouthing off to the cops when i was still intoxicated and they were being pretty rude and annoying so i couldn't contain it any longer.
that probably won't look good in court.
the magistrate also found my charges from virginia beach which i failed to appear in court for...twice...
after i swore under oath that i had never failed to appear in court.
i then had to pay 300 bucks to get my car back. its pretty much totalled but i'm hoping that isn't really true and it can be fixed....i mean, who needs airbags, really....
the guy who towed my car actually had some sick tattoos though so that was cool. and i ended up bumming cigarrettes from both him and the magistrate (what?). because they took my id. so guess what? no cigarettes for me for the next 7 days.
.....my car is gone.
.....my phone is gone.
......i have a dui
.....i can now kill chances of moving to a new place because i'm going to have wicked fines and car repairs
.....i'm surprisingly calm
i just don't really feel up to serving the mandatory 5 days of jail time. that effing sucks.
well.....just thought i'd share.
looks like i might need to take some nakie photos and try to get a set up on here and make some moolah to get me out of this shizhole i have gotten myself into.
....i'm done with drinking for awhile. i'm just over it. its not fun anymore. unless its a deliciously hoppy ipa that i can enjoy for the taste then fuck it.
back to square one.
again.
sigh.
everything happens for a reason?
until i decided to get my car last night and drive home after drinking. by some miracle after i lost control of my car i ended up missing the telephone pole that would have killed me by about an inch. the way my car was headed the police said they have no idea how by the laws of physics or just common sense that the car missed the pole because of the way the skid marks were placed....and although my memory is vague my last clear vision was of that fucking pole coming right after me. and for the first time in my life i sat there, completely calm, and basically accepted the fact that i was going to die....and then the pole was gone, the airbags deployed, and the guy across the street was already there helping me out of my totalled car.
unfortunatly for me he had already called 911 to report an accident. i was far from sober. completely failing the field sobriety test and blowing a .17. i'm thankful he was there to help because my phone landed in the wet grass and died immediatly....but why why WHY did he have to call the cops.
jail was ok. there was some incredibly hot boy with dreads sitting next to me. and your usual hilarity of the drunk tank at 2 a.m. i ended up with a blanket somehow which never happens, so i actually slept some. they had hash browns and scrambled eggs for breakfast? and then i ended up getting a cool cell mate who proceeded to make me die of laughter making fun of everything going on outside of our little window and counting how many cookies the guard could shove in his mouth before the creepy ass mexicans in cell 102 popped up in the window again....
cops are the laziest mother fucking pieces of shit.
my anger management issues kind of sucked because i ended up mouthing off to the cops when i was still intoxicated and they were being pretty rude and annoying so i couldn't contain it any longer.
that probably won't look good in court.
the magistrate also found my charges from virginia beach which i failed to appear in court for...twice...
after i swore under oath that i had never failed to appear in court.
i then had to pay 300 bucks to get my car back. its pretty much totalled but i'm hoping that isn't really true and it can be fixed....i mean, who needs airbags, really....
the guy who towed my car actually had some sick tattoos though so that was cool. and i ended up bumming cigarrettes from both him and the magistrate (what?). because they took my id. so guess what? no cigarettes for me for the next 7 days.
.....my car is gone.
.....my phone is gone.
......i have a dui
.....i can now kill chances of moving to a new place because i'm going to have wicked fines and car repairs
.....i'm surprisingly calm
i just don't really feel up to serving the mandatory 5 days of jail time. that effing sucks.
well.....just thought i'd share.
looks like i might need to take some nakie photos and try to get a set up on here and make some moolah to get me out of this shizhole i have gotten myself into.
....i'm done with drinking for awhile. i'm just over it. its not fun anymore. unless its a deliciously hoppy ipa that i can enjoy for the taste then fuck it.
back to square one.
again.
sigh.
everything happens for a reason?
HAHAHAHAAH ok update. so i moved everything into the new place with the somewhat wierd roommate that i at first thought the place was cool enough to deal with...
until he asked me for a ride to his doctors appointment AT THE MENTAL INSTITUTION.
so, needless to day, i found out he worked the next night and by the cover of darkness stealthily moved all of my shit back out with the help of my brother....
i feel bad because i kind of fucked him over but i'm sorry, i am pretty crazy and open minded but i am NOT living with a fucking mental patient! what the fuck!
so anyways browsed craigslist again...met 2 awesome people in an awesome apartment tonight so hopefully they like me and i can live there. easy as pie :-) sweeter location too...walking distance to all the good bars in richmond! perfecto!
the calming down the drinking is going well. had a few beers last night and caught up with a good friend. tonight its straight jammin to reggae sitting on my ass and loving it.
i also bought new running shoes today to force myself to go to the gym. because i am pretty physically unactive since i got a car haha i figured if i paid 100 bucks for running shoes i would feel bad if i didn't use them on a regular basis. plus, that way i will have a hobby besides getting completely and utterly shitfaced to occupy my freetime :-)
i'm visiting pittsburgh in 2 weeks too. yay!
life is good.
....p.s. i have a set in member review, check it out and let me know what you think!
PPS:::: i posted this blog awhile back. and i will repost it here. because for the love of shit why the fuck are you on here being a major creepo with no picture or anything filled out on your profile. you are paying money to lurk bad ass naked chicks who probably don't want some seventy year old wrinkly balls son of a bitch paying 20 bucks a month or whatever to jerk off and not even talk to anyone. this is a community of cool ass people. get your fucking moneys worth. obviously we all want to see boobies, but...at least pretend not to be a fucking creep about it.
old blog:::::
if you are going to request someone's friendship on here,
why would you even bother if you don't have a single damn thing filled out in your profile, no picture of any sort, don't send a message, etc etc.
this isn't myspace people.
come the fuck on.
until he asked me for a ride to his doctors appointment AT THE MENTAL INSTITUTION.
so, needless to day, i found out he worked the next night and by the cover of darkness stealthily moved all of my shit back out with the help of my brother....
i feel bad because i kind of fucked him over but i'm sorry, i am pretty crazy and open minded but i am NOT living with a fucking mental patient! what the fuck!
so anyways browsed craigslist again...met 2 awesome people in an awesome apartment tonight so hopefully they like me and i can live there. easy as pie :-) sweeter location too...walking distance to all the good bars in richmond! perfecto!
the calming down the drinking is going well. had a few beers last night and caught up with a good friend. tonight its straight jammin to reggae sitting on my ass and loving it.
i also bought new running shoes today to force myself to go to the gym. because i am pretty physically unactive since i got a car haha i figured if i paid 100 bucks for running shoes i would feel bad if i didn't use them on a regular basis. plus, that way i will have a hobby besides getting completely and utterly shitfaced to occupy my freetime :-)
i'm visiting pittsburgh in 2 weeks too. yay!
life is good.
....p.s. i have a set in member review, check it out and let me know what you think!
PPS:::: i posted this blog awhile back. and i will repost it here. because for the love of shit why the fuck are you on here being a major creepo with no picture or anything filled out on your profile. you are paying money to lurk bad ass naked chicks who probably don't want some seventy year old wrinkly balls son of a bitch paying 20 bucks a month or whatever to jerk off and not even talk to anyone. this is a community of cool ass people. get your fucking moneys worth. obviously we all want to see boobies, but...at least pretend not to be a fucking creep about it.
old blog:::::
if you are going to request someone's friendship on here,
why would you even bother if you don't have a single damn thing filled out in your profile, no picture of any sort, don't send a message, etc etc.
this isn't myspace people.
come the fuck on.
ugh. i feel like shit. again.
lately it seems like drinking is no longer fun it just results in me being incredibly unhappy, late for work, and with a constant hangover.
i really need to stop letting this get out of hand.
then again i've been saying this for the past 4 years....and i always end up going back to my old ways. i guess old habits die hard?
anyways. i'm moving into a new place today. so that is exciting. then i work the next 5 days straight. ugh. retail.
i'm going to go take a shower and attempt to not feel like crap and think about my life.
lately it seems like drinking is no longer fun it just results in me being incredibly unhappy, late for work, and with a constant hangover.
i really need to stop letting this get out of hand.
then again i've been saying this for the past 4 years....and i always end up going back to my old ways. i guess old habits die hard?
anyways. i'm moving into a new place today. so that is exciting. then i work the next 5 days straight. ugh. retail.
i'm going to go take a shower and attempt to not feel like crap and think about my life.
sooo for some reason my friends have decided that they are going to start kickin it with a large group of freshly turned 18 bimbos....
i kind of enjoy it because they all sort of worship me for being legally able to drink and because they think its like "sooo totally cool omg!" that i have tattoos and work at nordstrom because they have nothing of substance in their meager little brains rather than thinking they may possibly bribe me to give them a discount on designer shoes.....
yeah fucking right, spit for brains.
i know booty is booty but please, have some fucking standards. especially when you are my boys. and i have to suffer with your prey of choice.
what is attractive about a shallow 18 year old who forces you to buy them nothing but sparks and zima? drink a fucking beer you stupid cunt. they then proceed to get drunk within like 3 minutes and all you can here from the balcony is "like!" "omg!" "ahhh!"
please. i wanted to gauge my eyes out with a rusted fork as soon as this herd of underage retards flooded my usual hang out spot. and insisted that we stop playing metal and listen to pop...really?
men are pathetic, because they bow to these requests...
come on, i thought my boys were cooler than that.
am i going to suffer with these children for the rest of the summer?
have my friends stooped to the lows of fratty douchebags?
i mean don't get me wrong, when i was younger i partied with the older kids so that doesn't bother me. becausei hated all the bitches that were shitty to me when i was a youngster. its just the pure stupidity of these girls they have selected.
for the love of christ i need to have an intellectual conversation as soon as possible to make up for the brain rape of last night.
i kind of enjoy it because they all sort of worship me for being legally able to drink and because they think its like "sooo totally cool omg!" that i have tattoos and work at nordstrom because they have nothing of substance in their meager little brains rather than thinking they may possibly bribe me to give them a discount on designer shoes.....
yeah fucking right, spit for brains.
i know booty is booty but please, have some fucking standards. especially when you are my boys. and i have to suffer with your prey of choice.
what is attractive about a shallow 18 year old who forces you to buy them nothing but sparks and zima? drink a fucking beer you stupid cunt. they then proceed to get drunk within like 3 minutes and all you can here from the balcony is "like!" "omg!" "ahhh!"
please. i wanted to gauge my eyes out with a rusted fork as soon as this herd of underage retards flooded my usual hang out spot. and insisted that we stop playing metal and listen to pop...really?
men are pathetic, because they bow to these requests...
come on, i thought my boys were cooler than that.
am i going to suffer with these children for the rest of the summer?
have my friends stooped to the lows of fratty douchebags?
i mean don't get me wrong, when i was younger i partied with the older kids so that doesn't bother me. becausei hated all the bitches that were shitty to me when i was a youngster. its just the pure stupidity of these girls they have selected.
for the love of christ i need to have an intellectual conversation as soon as possible to make up for the brain rape of last night.
so i need to come up with about 300 dollars more than what i have in my posession right now to pay rent/security deposit/electric deposit/student loans/etc....in the next 5ish days.............
i'd sell stuff. but i don't really have anything of value.
hahaha...well..i'm going to go buy beer and liquor and american cheese and take my ass to a cookout. and try not to think about it for the time being.
normal people would probably be more concerned. or not buying cheese. and alci-joose. i feel like cheese is a good enough contribution to the cookout right? i mean what's a burger without cheese.
ok ummm...
any suggestions? haha
i'd sell stuff. but i don't really have anything of value.
hahaha...well..i'm going to go buy beer and liquor and american cheese and take my ass to a cookout. and try not to think about it for the time being.
normal people would probably be more concerned. or not buying cheese. and alci-joose. i feel like cheese is a good enough contribution to the cookout right? i mean what's a burger without cheese.
ok ummm...
any suggestions? haha
