lounging in bed after a nice morning romp



been out of town
recovering from several late, late nights
filled with whiskey and beautiful women

including shirley manson.
finally saw my favorite woman in the world in person

garbage was fucking incredible in atlantic city!

note: i did not take this video nor would i ever use the number 2 instead of one of those beautiful little morsels that we call W-O-R-D-S in the title.





wonderfully long bus rides to and from new cities
means a wonderfully long playlist to accompany the scenery.
you know,
the rolling hills, the used car lots, the fornicating cattle.

(yes, i did assemble and listen to this in alphabetical order)

Aereogramme -- Sleep and Release
Air -- Pocket Symphony
Alice in Chains -- Jar of Flies
Arms and Sleepers -- Matador
Autopsy -- Macabre Eternal
Bathory -- Hammerheart
Bloody Panda -- Summon: Invocation
Burning Witch/Goatsnake -- Split
Caspian -- Tertia
Cough -- Ritual Abuse
Corrupted -- El Mundo Frio
Earth -- Earth 2: Special Low Frequency Version
Electric Wizard -- Dopethrone
Isis/Pig Destroyer -- Split
Jesu/Battle of Mice -- Split
Led Zeppelin -- II
Melvins -- Gluey Porch Treatments
Mogwai -- Young Team
Mudhoney -- My Brother The Cow
Old Man Gloom -- Christmas Eve: Part I and II and VI
Portishead -- Roseland NYC (Live)
Radiohead -- I Might Be Wrong
Skinny Puppy -- VIVIsectVI
Sleep -- Sleep's Holy Mountain
Smashing Pumpkins -- Gish
Witchcraft -- S/T


I am in the june issue of inked magazine!
i had a blast shooting for that and inked girls in new york back in november.
go check it out!



( i suppose now you will all know my real name. )

classes are over at last and I have a small pile of summer reading to look forward to.



i am seeing radiohead again next week in ohio!
i can't wait.



sorry to be short
but hopefully, sweet.

i am going to sip on my coffee outside,
do some naked yoga to satanic doom metal,
and then bake strawberry cookies with white chocolate chips.

i hope life is wonderful.


ciao, baby.
<3 Rexx

a very small chid is screaming directly in front of my house.
i actually got up from my comfy couch perch to make sure the incessant wails were human
because after a few minutes i started questioning whether it were a duck being strangled..
luckily it was only an infant, a fresh addition to this twirling world,
come to join in the infinite scream of life
(and to induce loathing in my heart with each and every helpless, bawling episode).
through rage and fear, roller-coaster rides and good, hard fucks..
we are all destined to scream forever.

i wonder what the other animal species think when they hear these shrieking vocal displays?

sometimes it feels great, magnificent even, to scream for absolutely no reason at all,
for the bloody fuck of it.

i think it would be fantastic if we all stepped out onto our front porches, right now,
took in the scenery for a moment,
sucked down an overly-dramatic drag of joe, or beer, or joint or smoke,
then just put our fleshly faces to the wind
and fucking SCREAMED..
only to stop and walk directly back indoors.

i'm imagining people all around the world at this very moment doing this..
the four or five or however many of you actually read this here thing.
i can see the neighbors horrible stares,
the startled birds flying rapidly upward,
the cat in the cracked window, tilting its head to one side..
and you, screaming,
completely, joyfully mad for that one moment, not giving one flying fuck.

perhaps a ball scratch or a roar of self-inflicted laughter follows
and then an abrupt return to the inside from whence you suddenly came.

i cannot imagine what all of these insides look like..
only the porches, the stoops or the sidewalks.

i know this won't happen,
but if anyone actually does this
and has solid audio/visual proof
i will send you a prize,
no matter where you live.
tell me of your experience.





i start a new job tomorrow.
my third employment change in the past year
but the first that feels like a new leaf.
bakery business, i return to you with open arms
(that will no longer have to be covered with long sleeves).


as for today, it has been nothing short of wonderful.

woke up early and smiled at the fact that tomorrow marks the start of the month of these highly anticipated events of the manson variety:






then, in honor of having a total revisit to my still-reigning, fourth-grade obsessions,
i had a nice viewing of the craft in my skivvies with hot java and the sunshine pouring in.







sewed a few rexxy-original digs
including these atheist leopard shorts.
meow.








took a long walk in the deliciously warm weather of today,
indulging my feet and skin and brains
and ears:

Witchcraft - Self-Titled
Sneaker Pimps - Becoming X
Bathory - Under the Sign of the Black Mark
Corrupted - Garten Der Unbewusstheit
Death - Leprosy
Jesu - Ascension


worked on finishing the final scraps of homework and exams for the last week of classes. whew. to be continued...in the fall, i do suppose. perhaps my ten-year plan will not last so long. or perhaps it will never end. it all depends on how i feel at any given moment.

i have a near mountain's worth of books that i've collected over the months to read for my own personal joy and self-education. a mountain that will only get larger once i return my textbooks to gracious old amazon.com. with no more class, my nag-champa-loving nose will be buried in books all summer long.

i rewarded my hard work by baking an absolutely scrumptious, gooey batch of red velvet chocolate chip cookies. yum!





in addition to marilyn and shirley, code orange kids (sick local band, now signed to deathwish) is playing here tomorrow night at the smiling moose! last week i got to catch a friend from virginia's band, cough, (awesome jams if you like doom) at the moose as well. they opened for weedeater!

i went to an incredible blues and burlesque show here in pittsburgh at the rex (the rex!). it was really, really, REALLY amazing. davina and the vagabonds played the blues (her voice is smashing. absolutely smashing), while kinky kitty cabaret dazzled us with their burlesque excellence. if this show travels to your town, you should definitely check it out.

music is good
times are good
life is good


and now you are all caught up on little old me.

i hope all of your days have been lovely!
thanks for stopping by my little piece of the universe.
till next time...

<3 Rexx

hey baby

it is an absolutely radiant spring day.
the grass and dandelions of my odd, slanted yard are comically overgrown,
to be fussed over another day.
for now the sun's tender bugs float and twirl all about it,
i am lying belly-down in bed, window wide open, twirling my wavy strands
wiggling my toes, just letting myself be dazzled by their jungle ballet.
(and my daily bird's on the fence do not seem to mind, either)

at certain moments they rise up
(tiny white specks from here)
as micrometeroids drift down through the atmosphere
(seen pouring into my room when the light is just right)
and there is no battle,
just a passing through of one another.

perhaps we should all learn to be so lessened in our concern with others
with their thoughts on life and of us,
with their actions, political views, styles, vocabularies,
with whether they snort or smoke or swallow
with how they raise their children
we are destined to be disgusted with our own species and on too rare occasions,
endeared.

to expect drastic change of a species of nearly seven billion and rising
of humanity's size and capabilities
must be exhausting.
to be concerned and to take action in whatever way you do is noble and worthy
however, some days we have to look outside of ourselves
feel honored that despite the monstrosities of mankind,
there are scatterings of precious gems
and we are still in the presence of so many other wonderful life forms
that live and die without having to scowl at distasteful actions to pass
without a relentless struggle for money
without convincing themselves that the reason for the existence of life goes beyond
merely continuing the existence of life
but it is still fun to dance and sing and craft and ride and know we can be cured of ailments
but please, world, just for a few moments, a few days, a few years...
stop being so serious.

wake up and smell the bacon.
(and whatever you vegans eat)
tell the man "fuck you, man" at least every so often
remember that money is useful but you can indeed survive without much of it if you must
(and even just for kicks)
fall in love with the tiny feet of birds as they flit about on city streets
while a woman in a suit screams into her telephone,
"Mommy can't come to your soccer game!!! she has a HAIR APPOINTMENT!!!!!"

never, ever, forget life before twitter and facebook.
in fact, take time out to remember it well.
someone recently said to me after a trip to the used movie store: "i can't believe you still buy dvds!"
i guess i have rapidly become old-fashioned by today's standards.

well, i was staring out the window about to catch you up on the events of the past couple of weeks and now we have landed here, somehow. i am also not sure how to end this, and so i will just awkwardly transition.


i mentioned bacon...i do legitimately want to know if there is a vegetarian/vegan alternative to bacon that actually tastes somewhat like bacon? i don't plan to ever abandon my omnivorous ways, but i have always been curious.

but anyhow,
events!

me and my amazing lovah took some time off and made a journey down to virginia and then to new york. in virginia i got to visit my parents/sister/brother and they took me out for a belated birthday dinner at my favorite mexican joint. they also got me chocolate/banana/peanut butter cupcakes with white chocolate on top and even got skull napkins to serve them on. they know me so well.


the next day i headed to richmond and went to my favorite bookstore in all of the united states, chop suey, and purchased a few gems.





that night was the converge show in richmond that i've been anticipating for months.
it was fucking brutal!

i found this video of them performing last light at this show:



the next day we drove to new york where we stayed with a friend in queens.
it was super late when we got in and i was still pretty beat up from the show so we stayed in
but started early the next day with a brunch of kings at a place called cafe bar.
bacon! coffee! bloody marys! sunshine!

we checked out the high line which is amazing! a public park built on a historic freight rail above the west side of manhattan. walked the entire length twice. marvelous people watching.





the museum of modern art is free on friday nights, so that was a given.
there was a lot of cool stuff and a lot of questionable stuff, like any museum
some of my favorite pieces were
this painting called napolean on the wilderness by max ernst


this crazy egg filled with pieces of hair, bone, and timepieces by natsuyuki nakanishi


and this installation piece, for the panty hose fetishists



friday night was wild and fun. slugging whiskey and beer in queens and east village until 6 am.
i was proud of myself for finally somewhat figuring out the subway system on this trip.
saturday we went to eat at my beloved kati roll
as well as got delish donuts at the doughnut plant


saturday night we headed to brooklyn to see converge again at the music hall of williamsburg
(i LOVED this venue. the sound was incredible)
this show wasn't quite as intimate and violent as the one in richmond but still fabulous.
pianos become the teeth killed it as well.
they are one of the best bands to surface in the past few years in my opinion, i haven't seen so many people this genuinely stoked and moved by hardcore music in a very, very long time. i'm so happy they got the opportunity to tour with converge, who has personally influenced my life more than any other band.

a video from the brooklyn show! (long, but a great one)




now i am back in lovely little pittsburgh.
i've been struggling with shitty corporate jobs for the past year, ever since i quit the bakery
i found a new opportunity a couple of months ago but it just isn't what i thought it would be
life is too short to hate your job
i've been wanting to get back into the bakery business while i finish school and generally continue to feel life out, because it is a trade that i genuinely love and want to learn more about
on a whim i came across an opportunity at a local bread bakery who does everything here in pittsburgh, all the way from the mill. fresh. local. and it is located in the complete opposite direction from downtown. i have had to experience downtown pittsburgh every day of my working life for almost seven years. GET ME OUT OF THERE.
i would actually get to learn to bake bread which excites me.
and the possibility of not having to wear long sleeves the entire summer fills my heart with joy
interview is on wednesday, regardless of the result, i gotta get out of where i am
wish me luck


its been a glorious day ever since.

lounged at my favorite neighborhood coffee shop for a cup of joe and some quality reading time




added some treasures to my thrift store coffee mug collection:






otherwise been hanging in my skivvies enjoying a day free of homework and work of all kinds







i have some goods for sale in the swap meet group!!! check it out if you wish.



thanks for stopping by, sexy people of the land.
it has been a pleasure to share with you, as always.
til' we meet again..
<3 Rexxy







for things can harden meaningfully in the moment of indecision
i cannot decide in which direction to walk
but this doesn't matter to me, and i might as well
decide to climb a mountain (it looks almost flat)
as decide to go home
or to a bar or restaurant or to the home
of some friend as charming and ineffectual as i am
because these pauses are supposed to be life
and they sink steel needles deep into the poors, as though to say
there is no use trying to escape
and it is all here anyway.
-john ashberry




peace and love, baby.

oops, i drank the entire pot of coffee again.




dogwoods bloom
with a swift lunacy each year
all over the east side of town
at spring's first fluttering lid

on cool mornings
while i wait
their petals swirl around me
with cigarette butts
with plastic vagabonds
in the form of bags

i giggle, feeling quite
the little princess
with all this swirling
of hair and white matter

petals begin to pile
like snow
like confetti after the parade

someone walks up and i wonder
what they would have thought
of the breeze's matinee
and
if it all stopped at just that very moment
or if it were only in my head




i like to think the wind with all her powers reserves some moments for only certain humans' witness.
or perhaps it is just the dreamy tree-hugger beneath my gloomy exterior speaking.




listening to: Craft - Void


stuff reduction.
winter remnants tucked away.
sunglasses found.
the skeleton's scarf removed.






next week to virginia and new york. (converge, converge)
next month to atlantic city. (garbage)
next next month to cuyahoga falls. (radiohead)
manson in between.
camping, grilling, flesh.
classes almost over.
spirit willing and able
body frisky and limber.
beer in the fridge.


as for today, i'm off. plethora of sludgy, blacky, doomy, metal,
reading with the window slightly more than cracked,
my tiny flame twirling beside me in the breeze.









live well.
don't take any guff from these fucking swine.
<3 Rexxy

well, it is a nice, chilled evening here in pittsburgh. took a raging hot, candlelit shower with an after work beer and now i'm ready to settle down for some serious studying and inevitably, some porn (well, after these brief messages, that is ) . online classes and my porn addiction are forced to mingle when they are both just a click away on the same screen. first world problems.

i've been enjoying the relatively cooler weather these past few days and doing miles and miles of wandering the trail that runs along the allegheny river. my work and my home are both easily accessible from it and sometimes when the mood and the weather are just right the six mile trek beckons my feet to hit the dusty road. sometimes i'll put on an album that seems to track with the experience in an almost unbelievably magical way. the other day it was panopticon by isis. after about five miles i came to a strange spot where i needed to be on a bridge but couldn't seem to find an accessible way that wasn't life risking. i would have had to turn all the way back but another half mile of exploring the terrain i found the way. the song playing at just this moment was 'altered path'. perfect. if there aren't many people out i'll go bare ears and enjoy the vast melodies of nature, free of screaming children and inevitable drunken river yelling. i like to wander about for at least a mile or two each day. hell i'd walk the entire country and back if my knees would allow it. the most i have ever walked in one day was nearly 30 miles in boston a few years back when i was on my cross-country trip. two months of just me, my legs, and greyhound buses. i really need to look into more hiking around here that is accessible without a car but outside of the city limits. more mountainous. suggestions, fellow inhabitants of pittsburgh?


it is not often that i blog with more photos than words but i have a few to share and i think that it will be just fine. 'tis what i've been up to these past few weeks:

happy that the baby leaves are beginning to sprout. i have been observing them since i first noticed the buds begin to swell on the tips of the branches.




never ceasing to marvel at a tiny coincidence happened upon at just the right moment. seeing this as i walked into work made my day. it doesn't take much, realize.




i baked some scrumptious skull cakes with reese puff brains.





hanging in my well known pittsburghian nooks. finding new spots to dwell. smiling at the mallards and geese nibbling the grass and floating peacefully along together in the water.




every morning i walk by this wall (and for quite some time now have stopped by it for a moment before moving on) revel in the power of the words, wondering who wrote it and how it has remained untouched for so long. envying the little home that exists on top of it with so many ducks and such a nice sunrise and set to see each day. i'd love to talk to whoever is up there behind that blanket.





i don't usually spend a lot of money on clothing items but i bought myself some new docs for my birthday. twenty-five, baby. thanks for the wishes





been doing a lot of porch chilling in these unseasonably hot march days. the grill has been fired up! go on and admire my kabobs. i am the master of the meats in this house of four men and one gal.




we are lucky to have an incredible rooftop on our three story house and tis the season to climb out once again. roof scrabble! roof jams! roof beers!






i discovered a collection of over a hundred wasp carcasses and nest remnants under a ledge by the river. i have been having some difficulties with my old film slr so this does not do them justice but as a huge fan of death and decay it made me leap for joy to find these. you can barely tell here but these two died and were preserved in mid thrust!





i've been dabbling in some sewing over the past year. this is one of my favorites so far. i made this shirt in the winter out of two of my boyfriend's old band t-shirts and a lace skirt. it was finally warm enough to wear it! i've been sewing by hand which i love on a rainy day with the window cracked and a nice big joint, but my lovely mom got me a sewing machine for my birthday so i'm excited to start doing more. i have a ton of ideas and fabrics and look forward to having more time once spring semester is over to dabble with a plethora of lingerie i've been dying to start on.







well that about sums it up. i got yet another session done on my sleeve, one more session and it will be complete! it is such an amazing feeling after all these years to finally have the money to crank out what i have wanted and envisioned for so long. its just how i wanted it. it is mid-heal so i'll save the photos for next time. road trips upcoming to virginia, nyc, atlantic city, ohio and god knows where else for a plethora of shows including converge, birds in row, pianos become the teeth, radiohead, garbage, marilyn manson...

otherwise i've just been my usual self,
whiskey bent and hell bound.

yeah. i am quoting hank williams jr while listening to slayer,
but i saw the album on an old juke box the other day and i couldn't resist.

whatever.
love. peace. happiness. bacon. rainbows. clouds. penetration.
viva!
time to hit the books.
as always, till next time...
<3 Rexxy

my love puffs! it has been far too long!

i call you puffs because later i have plans to create some delicious cupcakes involving chocolate cake, chocolate-peanut butter icing, and reeses puffs. in the shape of SKULLS thanks to my adorable little sister's gift to me of skull-shaped cupcake molds.

things have been things which have been busy but great.
i got fired from my shitty job which i hated and could not be more happy about. i think i literally jumped for joy at the sound of the word "terminated".
i was hoping to enjoy weeks of unemployment but i found an opportunity to work in a small cafe that just opened a week ago at the aviary here in pittsburgh. the price was right and i am an aviary member and spend a good deal of time there already with my beloved birds and so i decided to abandon my hopes of days upon days of beautiful productive nothingness and take the job. i love it! it reminds me of my bakery days. busy and myself. fuck the monstrosity in between.

i just bought radiohead tickets for the show at blossom music center in june. this will be my third time seeing radiohead. the first time was also at blossom about four summers ago, which i actually quit a job to make it to and the second was at the tip of a fucking epic road trip down to mexico city with my good friend zepp101. i cannot wait to see them again.

speaking of zepp101 .. on my days off last week i hopped the megabus to new york and then skipped over to jersey for a visit to him. we ate and drank copious amounts of coffee in jersey diners and had an adventure including a few hours of driving around lost in a random china town which had me salivating for bubble tea. it was worth it once we finally made our way to some abandoned ruins overlooking the city of new york. it was a grand time and always nice to skip town for a day or two. or forever.




my soundtrack for the ride was as follows:
Corrupted - Vasana
Burning Witch - Crippled Lucifer
Acid Bath - Hymns of the Needle Freak
Dizzy Gillespie - Live at Newpork
Bohren and Der Club of Gore - Black Earth
Charles Bukowski - 90 Minutes in Hell
Deftones - Around the Fur
Fiona Apple - When the Pawn
Gifts from Enola - Self-Titled
Isis - Oceanic Remixes and Reinterpretations
Made Out of Babies - Trophy
Helms Alee - Weatherhead
Mastadon - Remission
U.S. Christmas - Eat the Low Dogs
Neurosis - Through Silver and Blood

pure magic.

this is apparently the year for amazing tours. in addition to radiohead, there are hardly words to express my enthrallment for these two:





shirley manson defined my childhood (in case you've never been able to tell by the heavy eyeliner that i have adorned since fifth grade). i think she is one of the most gorgeous women in the entire world. i look through photos of her now from the nineties and it almost makes me laugh how much my own style resembles hers from back then. it must have been some sort of sub-conscious influence that lingered with me until adult-hood. i was a youngster in the prime of the nineties grunge scene but my baby-sitter was a high school girl named amber who completely embodied all that it was about. she was the coolest person i knew. i hung out with few friends because thats just the hermit i have always been but i would hardly be able to sit still in school because i couldn't wait to get home and listen to the music she would bring over. when i first met her we were still jamming out to cassettes of garbage, smashing pumpkins, pearl jam... there was an awesome radio station in richmond called the buzz back then (long since dead) that taught me about nirvana and we would watch mtv and swoon over gavin rossdale in the old bush videos. her boyfriend was eighteen so he would rent us horror movies. i was obsessed with the children of the corn and friday the thirteenth movies in third-fourth grade (and still am) but my parents would never let me rent them. i'll never forget that girl. shirley manson, fiona apple, and amber williamson the babysitter. cheers to you.


school is going well. i'm currently all online via a local community college and this semester i am taking introductory astronomy, medical terminology, and religions of the world. it is quite time consuming and it makes me sad that i have hardly any time to devour books of my own choosing but the subject matter is so rich and compelling that it has been quite enjoyable. i may even keep my medical terminology textbook for the plethora of gruesome photos.

i did find time to read the illuminations by rimbaud. his poetry is magnificent.




otherwise life has been my usual: bacon, sex, coffee, long walks..

more sleeve work!




oh! and i even got to spend two weeks dog-sitting for my most favorite love-noodle of all time. his name is moose. he belongs to one of my past roommates who ended up moving to colorado. i haven't seen him in a year and was ecstatic to have the opportunity to spoil him again.








the days are longer.
i anticipate the leaves.
i feel a slight pang of sadness that winter never truly reared her ugly head.






there is something about the remnants of tiny activities that you have done earlier in the day, stumbled upon just the way you left them..

[



i wish i could ramble on for days and days. but it is a drizzly one here and the first i've had off and to myself in weeks so i'm going to put on the ol' stompy boots and wander amidst the grey. see what i can find and feel and wonder about.

i love yinz babies. i'll be around. lets be in touch.
<3 Rexx

apparently listening to deicide while eating a ham and cheese sandwich and drinking chocolate milk is the perfect cure for a hangover.

so now that i'm feelin' real nice n'at..
hello, my love flakes.

i just bought tickets for nile, mastadon, opeth, ghost, and eagerly await tickets for converge's richmond show with pianos become the teeth to go on sale. i went to check the tour dates and realized that i'm in a photo on the main page of the converge website from a show they played here in pittsburgh last summer. pretty groovy. i'll be proud if you can spot me in here.



life is wonderful. bacon is plentiful.



spring semester of online classes begins this week. i've had quite a few weeks off, so i've been devouring books like never before to get me through the next few months of more school reading and less rexx reading. although i must say i am pretty excited about my astronomy and medical terminology courses. one more online course summer semester and then next year i should be able to get my hands on the dead bodies.


winter is the only time i really invest hours in watching movies. the boy and i have been knocking out the planet earth series with plenty of weed and nakedness. i also finally picked up 9 to 5: days in porn. i was really impressed with this documentary. i think it was very well done and of course anything involving belladonna's beautiful face and bubbling personality/ass is necessary in my book.



an avid hater of earbuds, i finally got myself some serious headphones for christmas and have been wandering and rocking out like a mother fucker with warm, comfy ears. i will never tire of aimless wandering. the way shadows fall, the expressions on faces, the privacy my eyes invade through shop fronts, the cats in the windows.





as of a six hour session last saturday, my dude emil over at kyklops and i are officially back in action on my right sleeve after a year's hiatus on the little dedication to decay.







some nice people somewhere in the world (or perhaps they are mean or dead or traveling with the circus or curled up in bed naked avoiding humanity on a friday night just like me) have gifted me with fine treasures via their donations to the thrift store down the street.. nurturing my flaming love of candles, creepiness, and the wild.

your halloween novelty waste will forever remain my year-round delight. thank you.




i don't know if i ever mentioned (speaking of creepiness and fellow creeps) that i happened upon serene 's lovely charms on etsy via her suicidegirls blog and she made me this lovely skeleton lady lace choker.




ah, well..i did mean to stay and ramble to you a bit more and perhaps share some little poetics and journal tidbits rather than dismiss myself with an abrupt ending but i must be going. a hot shower and a hermit weekend lie ahead of me.

sparkle and shine

a random visitor once left that sprawled on a paper scrap in my living room, on a dark, wooden table long since gone. i'm unsure why i thought of it, just now.

in my head i hear bukowski drawling: ..thick and demented...
ah, what IS the poem?



i'll be around. till next time.
<3 Rexx

"..and sometimes i am glad they are here, dying in the sun, uprooted, tricked by their heartlessness, the same faces, the same set, hard mouths. fulfilling the emptiness of their lives under a blazing sun."













"..let her live with stones and sky, with the wind blowing her hair to the end. let her go that way.'
-fante.




leaves fetched
months ago,
carried by soft hands
that never wished to bear
roses,
only this bouquet,
elegant in death and without
pretension,
dried,
resting atop one pile of
books
out of so many
that they soon
will become the shelves
for which other things will rest upon.
more books, i'm sure..
particles floating
towards them
in beams of sun
when one wakes at
just the right moment
of the afternoon.





<3 Rexx

mid-day musings.


amid mid-day listenings:
grails - doomsdayer's holiday
gojira - the way of all flesh
nirvana - bleach
nails - unsilent death


contentment
watching snow fall
from a familiar watering hole window
and from the door,
pile up
while beer slides down
i've peered through these
panes of glass
something like
eight-hundred days out of
the past
nine-hundred and twelve..
point five.
give or take.


(apathy towards dates and new years)


tis the season for soups in bake shops, coffee shops, delis, and the like all up and down my little old town, one mile, one street neighborhood here in pittsburgh.
and soups, i am certainly not apathetic towards.
nor to the couple of miles of street stretching in either direction from my abode.
its one of the most charming places for afternoon wanderings.
never too many steps without a cat asleep in a store window.
miles of graves spun with endless trees,
flawless in any weather,
even capable of being lost in..
always nice, close to home,
if you like uncertainty and such things

i suppose i have a grand affection for this town.
it will be sad to leave and leaving is in the future
but leaving
i also have a grand affection for
so, we shall see.



i've been working in downtown pittsburgh for years now
it is hell for wind in the winter, the way it whips through the buildings.
i want to buy one thousand tiny scarves and bundle up every cold pigeon that i see.


in addition to being a hermit i have gone out and done some things
me and the boy went home virginia for a few days for the holidays
ate cookies, had family time
had late, drunk nights with old friends time
got to check-in to my favorite sleazy motel
last week i checked out the dangerous curves ahead burlesque show at the rex theatre here
pretty nifty, tits and ass. beer. personality.
also caught some killer local bands: heartless and code orange kids as well as a pretty sick band, death rats from d.c.
getting really nineties and going to see the lemonheads next week? thinking about it.




'the individual is lost in the destiny of the species and the eternal movement of the spheres..the primordial sea indefatigably repeats the same words and casts up the same astonished beings on the same seashore..the delicate equilibrium between humanity and nature, man's consent to the world, which gives ancient thought it's distinction and its refulgence, was first shattered for the benefit of history by christianity'
-albert camus

tis the season to be jolly that all signs reading "happy birthday, jesus" are or will soon be removed.
lie to your children about santa, not jesus.




all of my lightbulbs are burnt out however i am without ladder and cannot even reach them standing on a chair. in addition, all of my candles have burned down to the nubs.


i'm off of work until thursday.
santa got me a membership to the amazing aviary we have here
i plan to spend a good chunk of tomorrow with the birds
until then i plan to be naked
light up some good greens
do yoga
and read my night away
by flashlight.









live well, my love biscuits.
i hope your wintery days are sweet until we meet again.


<3 Rexx

"does progress really exist?"

it all seems just a series of rearrangements.






i miss wild nights. the way my hair looks in the morning in a trashy motel mirror. tapping cigarette ashes daintily into a tiny, plastic cup, one of two. the cellophane on the floor, beer cans. feeling eyes on my ass bending over admiring smudged eyeliner and the reflection of a tumultuous bed. the whole scene sweetly disheveled. knowing the coffee is foul but brewing it anyhow. because its there, included in the thirty-five dollar package.



i love a good roast but more so
the shitty diner variety
always on the verge of burnt
just weak enough so that you can
say yes
all night
grasp the warm mug and sip
over conversation
even
fall asleep to the rising of the sun



do you ever feel in the middle of the night that every time the waitress shuffles over with the pot,
"more coffee?"
(and it never matters how she says it: friendly, jaded, or indifferent)
and you say
"yes",
that it somehow freezes time. or prolongs it? or just makes you question it?





i overdosed on salt last night. but i cannot help it. it is delicious.



thanksgiving was good. i had to work but eventually got around to making the meal. we made pulled pork instead of bird. the turkey was of the wild and liquid variety.


i'm dying to shoot a new set.

i'm dying for a road trip. it doesn't have to be too far, just sexy and strange.



i do not feel that i have much to say, these days. to anyone.
and so i don't.
but it is not that i am not thinking one million thoughts.
the spoken word has never been my forte. sometimes i just let it go.


i noticed the first frost dusted atop the grass and leaves this morning on a brisk walk home.
hibernation season.
less people on the streets = more rexx on the streets.


i should be doing school work but i would much rather read the night away
and that is just what i think i'll do.

i come across so many pretty girls around here that read the greats, my greats, and write most wonderful things. where are they in the real, near world?
i'm so thankful at times that i stumbled across the s.g. universe five years ago.
if it weren't for here, i may have given up on humanity completely!
well, i'm sure that isn't so.
but we do have a nice thing here, don't we?
even if i never speak to some people just reading their lovely thoughts and actions and quirks is enough.
just knowing they do exist.

it is a dull sea out there in the tangible world sometimes,
everything looks the same as far as the eye can see.
only you know what's beneath the surface
and it sure is not anything worth bothering with.

i am very glad for the ripples.
thank you, ripples.


well, i suppose i have confused you enough by now.
happy days and sweet dreams till next time, my love biscuits.
rexxy, out.

<3