MAY 9, 2011 @ 06:52 PM


i like my room scattered with beer bottles, books, journals, and sunshine. smile
with a cracked window and the only noise being tweet tweet, woof woof, and an airplane passing by.


i remember being little and in the manner of most children constantly changing the vision in my mind of what i wanted to "be" when i grew up. i think two of the professions that i pined for the most were of a flight attendant and a circus clown. neither of which i can yet add to my repertoire. there was a split second in my mind last summer, stranded outside of a greyhound station in charlottesville, virignia, chain-smoking rolled cigarettes with a groovy middle-aged trucker soul named dan, who had come to work a fair, during which i seriously contemplated saying fuck it and running off with the carnival.

but the split-second passed and the show went on.

i have learned after twenty-four years of life and over thirty jobs that two professions definitely NOT made for me are 1. slinging pork (which actually came as a shocker) and 2. selling five-hundred dollar pairs of shoes. otherwise its all up in the air.

i also remember as a child i spent years watching friends and what i loved most about it was the hundreds of scenes in "central perk". for whatever reason at that age my mind would wander off and i would dream about one day being old enough to hang out at a coffee shop in a big city wherever i pleased curled up on a couch sipping coffee from a mug as big as my head.

my parent's have never been coffee drinkers but when i was growing up they always had a jar of instant coffee in the pantry, just in case. and at about age nine or ten that jar of folger's instant is where it all began for me.

in my adult life i have spent a great deal of time with hardly any money at all. and a great deal of time drinking coffee all over the united states of america feeling merrily un-united and i have learned that no matter what, as long as my other half exists and i have enough money for a cup of coffee, i am invincible.

when i think about all of these things collectively i see that i turned out how i always wanted to "be".
despite the fact that i never set foot in a clown suit and prefer to travel by land,
so, however that is..

i've come to feel strongly over the years that justification (the apparent need to give, the desire for..) is one of the most exhausting and wide-spread struggles of humanity.
give it up and just be happy.

much left unsaid,
thank you, coffee. you hath awaken me. and i suppose that is your job after all.

i am going to stare out the window and contemplate the possibilities in melting a super-sized box of crayons. otherwise it seems to me a good night for yoga and thelonious monk and not a whole bunch else.


tiny spider performing tiny acrobatics on tiny web, swept away by wind,
to infinity and beyond. robot


<3 Rexx

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Comments
jonnytrrrash7

jonnytrrrash7

Vatican City
February 2004

MAY 09, 2011 08:30 PM

how different your life would have been had you taken the carnival plunge. but as you well know, life is a carnival (i'm in the midst of listening to The Band), so you got that route covered afterall?

thelonious! i used to think that if i ever had a son, i'd name him after monk.

jonnytrrrash7

jonnytrrrash7

Vatican City
February 2004

MAY 09, 2011 08:55 PM

yeah, the kid might resent the strange name, huh? maybe i'll reserve that for my next pet.

dh9261

dh9261

USA
May 2008

MAY 09, 2011 10:08 PM

think i'll join you in a thelonius monkloveand remember don't believe a thing the systems sayswink they lie!!!!!!!!ARRR!!!

chiwi

chiwi

New Zealand
January 2011

MAY 10, 2011 01:10 AM

Always enjoy reading your blogssmile
Still enjoying your 'time off' therebiggrin
how did the crayons work out?

NoPantsDave

NoPantsDave

Cincinnati, OH
OLD SKOOL

MAY 10, 2011 08:19 AM

I love coffee. Not sure what I would do without it. I started drinking it when I was 16ish. This new "coffee shop" opened up in my town. It was a big deal because that was back in 1992 or so when there wasn't a coffee shop every four blocks. It became a regular hangout and some of the best friends I made were people I met there. And some of the best moments I had in that town happened there. There are few things that I enjoy more than some good music, a great book and a pot of coffee.

AndyBeau

AndyBeau

Jackson, MI
September 2007

MAY 10, 2011 11:52 AM

This warms the very cockles of my heart.

Clowns have always been something dear to me. No, I do not have a vast collection of paintings, dolls, figurines or anything else of that nature. I just like clowns, what they represent. To me, a clown is a parody of real life that lets you look at life and see how silly it all is. Through a clown's antics, you can see how we all are really, as a people - a species - struggling to make our way through life, and make ourselves happy along the way.

It's a unique thing, that we as part of the animal kingdom possess the awareness to desire happiness. As I look down at my dog Laverne, I realize that she seeks comfort, but will she go to the same lengths to secure happiness for herself or others? Maybe she will.....but to the same degree as a human? Does she just revel in comfort and happiness when it is to be had, or is she like us in that we think we *deserve* happiness?

Ah well....enjoy your coffee. Didn't mean to get too deep reading this, but it happened.
Much Love...

eweytx

eweytx

Houston, TX
November 2010

MAY 10, 2011 04:04 PM

Great blog as always.
As an employee of an airline for almost 25 years now, my advice would be to stay away for the stewardess business (although I am not one). For one, the ups and downs of the airline industry are mostly downs and very few ups. Yes, it's provided me with a job for quite some time, but more than anything, I feel I've just been lucky enough to dodge the bullets. Secondly, from all I've been told, people are only becoming more rude and belligerent. Thirdly, based on what I can judge from your blog's window on you, you're better than what that job is.
And I couldn't agree more about just being happy. With the help of a loved one and family, perhaps. Fuck everyone else. It's cliche', but you have to make today count. Quite frankly, tomorrow is only a dream until it actually arrives.
Best Wishes, Beautiful!

NoPantsDave

NoPantsDave

Cincinnati, OH
OLD SKOOL

MAY 11, 2011 09:16 AM

When I first moved here to Cincinnati one of the first things I did was figure out where the non-Starbucks coffee shops were. Thankfully, there are three or four good shops that are locally owned all within 8-10 blocks of me. They all roast their beans in this area too, including two that do it onsite.

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